Light Shines in the Darkest Places
I've always been alone. I've always been worthless, I was the equivalent of dirt and that is just being optimistic which I am not exactly good at. I was taught to fight and to kill, I was never taught self-respect or to love one's self. I was a tool, nothing more and possibly something less. I was not quite sure how to handle it but that is when I realized there wasn't a way I could handle it. I should just let it be. Let me be nothing more than a pawn at the control of a Queen.
I viewed myself more as a statistic than a person. I did not really have a voice; my opinions were viewed as irrelevant. No, not by the people who I seldom spoke to but by myself. I simply assumed since I was nothing more than a tool whatever thought or notion I had was simple something that wasn't worth a split-second. I learned to nod my heads to the rhythm, never dare question it and absolutely never try to make my own. I never thought once that the rhythm I followed was that of a war drum. The lives I took still haunt me to this day.
What I did isn't something I can handle; along with many of my other problems. Problems and I never have got along well. I was never taught to solve them, that was always left to those above me and that was pretty much anyone and everyone. So as one would imagine, when I was left alone I had no idea to handle any situation that arose when I hadn't planned for it. This is why I was never prepared for her.
We had fought times before, but even after nearly attempting to kill one another she still tried to protect me. She gave some light to the abyss I was trapped in; she gave me hope when I was desolate. She saved me in every sense imaginable. She gave me self-worth. She gave me a reason to wake up and draw breath, a reason that was not to just serve and obey. I am her friend and she is mine. To be honest, she taught me what it was like to have a friend and what it meant to be a friend. I owe her more than I could ever pay back to her.
Mala Albarn. The best person I know. It feels nice…to have someone watching my back. To not be alone, I am no longer waiting to find the light at the end of the tunnel. I now know more than just despair and loneliness. I finally have someone to help me handle my problems….I finally have someone who I can have by my side even when things become difficult. I am not alone…Nor will I ever be again…
I was snapped out of my thoughts by a sudden but gentle shake on my left shoulder. Regardless of how gentle I still flinched and recoiled, letting out a startled yelp. My nerves calmed down as my optics finally came around and looked upon the female who had awoke me who as none other than Maka.
Luckily I was saved from public humiliation due to the fact there was no one in the classroom but us. My nerves calmed down substantially as I let out a deep breath and cast my gaze aside. "Sorry…Did I fall asleep?" Maka only gave me a smile and nodded. "Yup, Stein asked no one to wake you for a while since you seemed so peaceful. Plus you have been under a lot of stress as of late so he figured you could afford to miss the last leg of the school day." I blinked once before giving a dejected stare back down at my desk.
"I'm not really that stressed out, just tired. I should have stayed awake, next time please wake me up. I'm not sure if I can handle having to catch up on my work." Maka's smile never wavered as she leaned against the desk next to mine. "Don't worry; if you do I can help you catch up. If I can tutor Soul then I can tutor you easily. I am sure you are a lot more teachable than Soul is." I felt a small smile on my face begin to form as I only gave a simple nod in return to her offer.
"So how do you like the D.W.M.A? Is everyone being kind to you? If not I'm sure Soul and Blackstar wouldn't mind teaching some people a lesson." Maka said with a playful grin on her face but I could tell words were more than serious. I had no doubt she wouldn't hesitate to get Soul or Blackstar to defend me. "No everyone has been kind to me; no need to do anything like that!" I waved my arms frantically to emphasize the point.
Maka only laughed a bit and gave a nod in my direction. "Good to hear! So anything on your mind?" It was as if she read my mind while I cast my stare to her and clasped my hands together and twiddled my thumbs around each other. "There is something I have been wanting to say to you now for a while…I'm just not sure how to phrase it." Maka gave me a curious stare as she said nothing and allowed me to compile my thoughts.
"I just sort of wanted to say…Thank you. Thank you for all that you have done for me. You have made my life live able again…You have given me a purpose to carry on. I'm no longer just a tool or a pawn; I am someone who matters now. That is thanks to you saving me…I owe you a debt that I am not sure I can handle…But it is nice to know I have someone who can help me handle my problems. Every day with Medusa was a day I wished death upon myself. Now I don't wish for anything but to be happy and that wish has already come true. Just…thank you. You saved me…" I cast my gaze aside quickly and bit my inner cheek as I held my breath while I grew more anxious by the second.
I felt two slender arms wrap around my figure and pull me close. I dare not move but I only did what felt right, I lifted both of my arms and returned the embrace I shut my eyes to prevent shedding a tear. I now truly understood the emotion of happiness and I know knew more than just despair and loneliness. I finally felt alive.