A/N- This one shot is in honor of the one year anniversary of the first chapter of The Darling Girl being put up on FanFiction! Yah! And this is in that universe, so you must have read at least up to chapter 6 in that story before reading this oneshot, otherwise this will make no sense.
So for those of you who had been wondering what happened that time a group of foolhardy pirates woke Lyra up, here's your answer. I present:
Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragon
The pirates Calico Joe, Rotgut, Haverdash, and Bootstrap Bob were on a mission. Find Lost Kids, kidnap them, and bring them back to the ship for bait. The job had gotten harder and harder as the years went on and the Lost Kids grew smarter and more numerous. That didn't stop Captain Hook from conducting the almost monthly raids on the island. Mostly it was for supplies, but the crew members were strictly instructed to capture any Lost Kids they saw.
They didn't expect to stubble onto a Lost Kids sleeping under a tree though.
"Hey, what's that over there?" Rotgut asked as the pirates trudged through the dense forest. The other three stopped and peered into the clearing.
"I think it's a person," Haverdash said.
"No, it's a kid! A Lost Kid!" Rotgut said excitedly.
"I think it's sleeping," Calico said. He was right. Lyra, who had been up most of the night, had fallen asleep while playing a game of Hide and Seek. She was supposed to be the seeker, but Lyra had sat down and closed her eyes… then nodded off right where she was sitting. Now she was deep asleep and completely vulnerable to attack.
"Hey Calico, who d'ya think that girlie is?" Bootstrap asked as the pirates peered through the bushes trying to assert whether Lyra was really asleep or not.
"I think that's one of them new uns. What's her name? Lily? Luna?"
"I think ya mean Lyra, ya bilge rat."
"Either way, we got ourselves a nice little prize." The four pirates grinned at each other rather gruesomely, as their dental hygiene was questionable at best. They snuck up to the sleeping girl, trying to be as quiet as possible. But spending the vast majority of their time on a rocking pirate ship, the pirates weren't very coordinated on solid ground. When they were about ten feet from Lyra still, Calico tripped over a fallen tree branch and fell flat on his face with a great big thud (Calico was a rather hefty pirate). Bootstrap yanked Calico to his feet, swearing at him profusely. Calico yelled back, and by the time Lyra had woken up enough to figure out what happened the two were nearly at blows and the other two were trying to calm them down in vain.
"What the- Pirates!" Lyra gasped as she woke up to see pirates having an argument not ten feet away. The pirates all stopped and looked at her with surprise written all over their faces. The two groups stared at each other for five seconds, neither side moving for the longest time.
"Hey now girlie, we outnumber ya four ta one. Ya might do yerself a favor and be coming quietly," Bootstrap said, recovering and drawing his sword.
"Yeah, yer trapped," Calico echoed, also drawing his sword. The last two pirates followed suit. In a flash Lyra was on her feet, yelling in Indian and drawing her sword. The pirates stared at her in complete bemusement, not entirely sure what to do with this furious girl.
"Hey, shut yer trap!" Haverdash said.
"You first!"
"No you!" Lyra growled and glared at them with such venom that a couple pirates started wondering if they shouldn't have woken her up.
"I was up all night last night and you sticking woke me up from the first wink of sleep I've had in two days! I WILL MURDER YOU IF YOU DON'T LEAVE!" The pirates took three steps back in unison. Haverdash, who had once been a respected English gentleman before turning pirate, couldn't help but think of a Latin expression he heard once: Draco DormiensNunquamTitillandus. Never tickle a sleeping dragon.
"Uh, you better stand down, or we'll-" Calico said weakly before being cut off again.
"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, YOU NO GOOD PIRATES!" Lyra attacked the pirates. The group were so stunned at the reckless assailant that they took a few seconds to attack back. But Lyra proved that when she was in a temper that she had almost disturbing skill with a blade.
The forest echoed with screams coming from the pirates and enraged yells from Lyra.
Two hours later…
"Hey guys, I found Lyra and… what the?" Raven called out before trailing off. The rest of the Lost Kids gathered around her, and stared in complete shock and confusion.
Four thoroughly beat up pirates were tied hand and foot and gagged with their own hats. They were sitting in the clearing tied to a tree, and looking like they saw the kraken. On the other side of the clearing Lyra was laying peacefully under a tree, sleeping like a little angel.
A/N- Ha ha, Lyra isn't such a little angel after all? Like everyone, she gets a little cranky when woken up from a well deserved nap. The story came out once Lyra woke up from her nap, and some of the pirates now treat her with a fearful respect. For a week the Lost Kids didn't do anything to make Lyra mad- they were scared she would kill them like she nearly did the pirates! Now you know the whole story of the foolhardy pirates and waking Lyra (the sleeping dragon) up.
By the way, I have hidden three Harry Potter references in here. Those who caught them shall get virtual cookies!