Sick Joke

By: McLP

Beta-Reader: Crystal Castles

Summary: "Oh,pity." She mock-pouted. Poking out the bottom of her pink lips that Flipqy wanted to bite. "But I wanted to tell you a joke just before you kill me. Would you like to hear it?" Flippy/FlipqyxFlaky/Oc One-shot.

Disclaimer: Sorry Dont Own Happy Tree Friends. If I did, I would have them talking. Also they would be Human Tree Friends plus I demand to see some action! Oh yeah and Cheshire the Masochist Cat my Oc, is what I do own...and want to be in the show for real.

Warnings: Language. Human Tree Friends. Flippy at a Party. Disco-Bear at a Party. Flipqy. Sick Joke.

A/N: I was page hopping and came across a funny joke. I dont know who was the original creator of said joke but I thought it was fitting for my Oc character; Cheshire. Cheshire would also be noted in another HTF work of mine but this wont be tied to that work in progress of a story. I hope you enjoy and get a nice laugh out of it too.-McLP

Sick Joke

Flippy hated parties. He actually loathe them. Sure he was suppose to have fun at them with his girlfriend in tow but somehow he knew that everyone their cramp in Petunia's living room was staring at him and avoiding him like the plaque.

The 26 year old man really couldnt blame them for staring in absoulte shock and pure terror whenever he walks by. He gets that effect alot since he has a problem. A special problem of sorts. He suffers heavily from PTSD; Post tramaic stress disorder. Whenever something happens that reminds him of war he just 'flip-out' going on a mass killing spree leaving a very few with broken or served limbs or in one-piece.

He knew it couldnt be his PTSD that is actually making him flip-out. Sniffles told him that more than Lumpy cold dechiper. Sniffles assumes that its more then it meets the eye since he was cured at one point but then flip-out on a blind date with Giggles. That didnt end well since Giggles now is strictly avoiding him at all cause unless he was accompined with either Flaky or Splendid.

Flippy ran a gloved hand through his green locks. He was clad in his army gear as he nervousy took a light sip from his cup. He was leaning back against the wall in the farthes corner of the room next to the small halway leading to the front door. A bad place to be when more party guests arrived.

Come on, come on. Let me out. His inner demon, Flipqy spoke deep inside his conscience. He was use to the short-lived moments of hearing his own thoughts but since the blind date masscare, his mind was yet again preoccupied by his sadist twin.

Its boring in here. Its a party isnt it? I dont think Petunia mind if we make it one hell of a party for everyone to remember. Dont you agree? He cackled.

"Fuck off, Flipqy." Flippy muttered as he clench his open hand. "Not tonight. You hear me? Not. Tonight. So go jack off to some Gorean Porn will you?"

You're such a party-pooper, dear twin. No worries. Soon something is going to happen and you will let me out. Then I would show you how to really party it up. Hehehehe. Catch you later, Pussy.

Then there was only silence in his head which he mentally thanked that his inner-demon had left him alone to enjoy whatever this party has to hold. Flippy then scan the room to find his girlfriend, Flaky amongst the crowd. The two have been dating for only a month and Flippy couldnt be happier. Sure there was a huge age difference between them since Flaky is starting her freshman year of college but it never held Flippy back on loving her. He didnt see her firey, red hair in the crowd much to his disappointment.

He did however spotted lime green hair beloging to a sugar-hyped, Nutty. Nutty was standing by the food table eatting all the well-prepared desserts Petunia had laid out. Next to him was Cuddles, with his light blonde hair and sport attire. He was cheering Nutty on possibly because he made a bet with others that Nutty could eat all of the desserts without barfing them up. He spotted Petunia and Giggles chatting up on the dance-floor possibly gossiping. Then Disco-Bear moonwalked over to them making the girls instantly ew-ed at his fail attempts to seduce them. Pop deflated from his disco-pose and then try to find someone else worthy of his 'moves'. Flippy began to wonder what the hell was a pedophile doing at a college party in the first place?

Flippy turn his head to spot Toothy talking to a woman with long lilac hair with dark viloet streaks. She was wearing a purple sweater dress and black boots. Her skin was creamy with a tinge of pinks in her cheeks as she lightly took sips of her drink. When she open her eyes, they were a faint color of yellow. A yellow almost dangerously related to Flipqy's golden one's.

Her name was Cheshire Caterina, she was the same age as Flaky and she was the 'new' person that moved to Happy Tree Town several weeks ago. This wasnt her party, she had a welcome party in the house of Giggles and Flippy was put on a reject list of people that wasnt allowed to come. Flippy was hurt on such matters but Flipqy took over his body and got his well-deserved revenge on the strawberry-blond.

Flippy study Cheshire as she casually laugh at whatever Toothy was talking to her about. Then Handy walked into the group and Cheshire quickly greeted him with a smile. There was something about that smile that sent tingles down Flippy's spine. He shouldnt be attracted to a woman like her, he was dating Flaky!

He didnt know her that much except that she too suffers from the same condition Flippy is under. Cheshire didnt kill people, she had a different way of 'flipping-out'. A way that confuses both Flippy and Flipqy to no end. Instead of cowering in fear when Flipqy was unleashed, she was more then happy to take whatever sort of torture he has in store for her. And she takes it like Flipqy is fucking her brains out. Moaning loudly, saying things like:

"Faster! Kill me Faster"

"Harder, Harder! Punch me til I bleed from my nose!"

Or something in the lines of that. Flipqy now is getting bored of killing her because she wasnt too much fun. In fact they were so much alike in enjoying things like that, Flippy wonder why the two havent consider actually dating.

"A sadist and a masochist," He chuckled under his breathe. "What a sick joke."

"Wh-whats a sick joke,dear?"

Flippy turned a beet red color as he turn his head the other way around to see Flaky nervously holding a plate of food. Fresh, white dandruff flakes covered the nicely decorated finger-food. She wore a simple red long sleeved shirt with maroon jeans and black sneakers. This is what Flippy liked about her most, she was different than the other girls. While girls prefer shopping and slumber parties, Flaky prefer sports and going camping. Flaky made friends easily because of her timid nature but she is mostly seen talking to or with boys.

"Wh-whats a sick joke,F-Flippy?" She stammered, looking at him with amber eyes.

"Nothing, dear." He lied. Then he reached for a flake covered cracker with dip and pop it into his mouth. He gag when he taste the flakes and quickly chugged his beer.

"S-sorry, Flippy." Flaky quickly apologized. "I guess I sh-should go get some m-more food,huh?"

"No!" Flippy gasp as he came up from air, he grab onto Flaky's arm earning a sqeauk from the red-head and pulled her close to him. "I dont want you to ever leave my sight. You know how much I hate parties,Flaky."

"B-but you didnt get invited to the last few parties!" Flaky protested. This may be true but Flippy was never a party person. He can handle things like Balls or Charity events or something in the sorts because Flipqy would be sleep from the long dried-ass speeches that Mayor Lumpy would give at such events to do anything drastic.

"It-it wouldnt be fair to le-leave you all home alone,Flippy." Her brows creased in worry. Flaky never did approve of the rest of her friends distance with her boyfriend. Sure they have every right to avoid him when he was Flipqy but he couldnt be treated like that when he is not flipped-out. It was downright cruel for them and Flaky could somewhat understand why Flipqy kills them in the most deadliest of ways.

"But I wouldnt be home alone if you came over." Flippy match the whiny tone in her voice. Flaky rarly does so because of the fear of himself flipping out. He had everything in that house that make him turn into Flipqy so fast it wasnt funny. Weapons from War along with pictures, news articles, and other things was just enough to send him fight or die mode. "Look, we can leave right now. Its not anyone going too-"

"Hey, Flaky and Flippy." Cheshire walked up to them with the sultry smile still plaster on her flush face. "Didnt know you guys were here. So enjoying this evenings lavish events?"

"H-H-Hey, Ch-Cheshire." Flaky gave a timid wave as she sent more flakes flying around her, some of them landing on Flippy's black tanktop. "I-I guess so b-but Fl-Flippy wanted to leave."

"Oh?" The lilac hair woman shifted her pale yellow eyes into Flippy's emerald ones. "Dont like what you see, Sergeant Flippy Orso?" Her grin grew wider when she address him by his name in the army, Flippy felt a certain twinge in his lower region. He hold back a groan as he answered her in a straight face.

"I would rather spend the night with my girlfriend then with a bunch of shallow drunken college students with nothing better to do on a Friday night."

Chesire gasp and put a hand to her heart in mock surprise. Flaky nervously look at her soilder boyfriend, worried that he may have offended Cheshire.

"Well I for one is very insulted!" Cheshire replied still having that mock-tone in her voice. "I didnt know we have to carter to a pompous ass like yourself, Sergeant."

Flippy growled in the back of his throat at that remark. Sometimes he want to shut Cheshires mouth.

Try shoving your cock down her throat and make her choke on it, that could work. She might find a blade shoved in her mouth too pleasureable. Flipqy cackled.

"Well, I dont want to displease our guest," she smiled softly. Her yellow eyes glazed over, it was a possibility that she was drunk off her ass. Something that both Flippy and Flipqy find amusing at some points. Cheshire was known for keeping things under wraps but when she is drunk or flipped-out. She shows her true self.

"Do you want me to bend over so you can see the color of my thongs, Sergeant Flippy Orso? Would that be entertaining enough for ya? Or perhaps you would prefer flipping out and ripping my organs out in alphabetical order?"

This is why I like this suicidial bitch more then that coward of a bitch, Flipqy spoke in his mind. Always coming up with new ideas for me to try out. Hehehe.

Flippy and Flaky stood there in silence; Flaky in pure shock with her whole face flush from embrassment at Cheshire crass behaviour. Flippy put on a straight face while listening to his inner-demon thoughts and ignoring his growing erection. Whomever spike the drink it was getting to him already. And Cheshire promises of sexual acts wasnt helping.

"Ch-Cheshire please!" Flaky shouted enough for the girl to stop with her crude talk. "You-you're drunk."

Cheshire gave Flaky an odd look before lifting her cup, examining it like she has never seen it before in her life.

"She's right." Flippy finally found his voice. "You're drunk. You need to lay off the drinks. Thought you have more class then that, Caterina."

Cheshire instantlly began to burst into laughter, the tone musicial at first then suddenly at a blink of an eye it turn into something sinister more dark. Everyone in the party slowly stop to turn and look at the scene one by one as she continued to laugh, doubling over like it was the funniest joke she has ever heard. Petunia emerge from the crowd inching towards the laughing woman as she put a hand on her shaking shoulder.

"Cheshire? Are you ok?" she asked.

After a few laughs she began to speak in-between short intakes of breath. "Oh, yes. I am fine. Flippy here isnt quite please with tonight's dull entertainment."

"Oh?" Petunia raised an eyebrow as she crossed her arms in front of the war veteran and her friend. "And what may I ask is wrong with this party? Last time I check, this was a college party. And sadist-murderer army boyfriends were not on the invite list."

Flippy crushed his cup in his hand earning a gasp from Flaky and Petunia step back, fearing that he flipped-out already. But Flippy remained cool as a cucumber not wanting to give his evil twin the pleasure of ripping Petunia's perfect little head off.

"Petunia," Cheshire called out to the blue hair woman. "If you're trying to piss-off General Asshole then you should do something like this." Grabbing onto a glass vase that was placed on a china cabinet, Cheshire instantly knock the vase over with a silent opps. The resounding crash of the glass made Flippy instantly think about the bombs that came down on him along with his comrades-in-arms, Sneaky and Mouse Ka-Boom. Flippy began to shake in his place as he control himself, his breathing slowly becoming irregular.

"Oh, shit! Party's over!" someone shouted out. Everyone in the small room began to scramble in a hurry. People tossing their drinks and plates aside as they find the nearest exit before they become victims in Flipqy's hand. Flaky stood next to him in shock, not knowing what to do at this point. She know if she didnt move from her spot, she would either be stab to death or her neck snapped. Giggles quickly grab the shaken red-head as she pull her into the closet where Petunia and Cuddles where already hiding.

"Heeeeere's Flipqy!" The green haired man announce, completly doing a 180 turn of his former self. His eyes were now a sickening golden yellow color, his nails and teeth, sharp. Flipqy began to chuckle darkly as his eyes scan for his first victim. He suddenly targeted a plump Nutty who was struggling to jump out of a window. Taking slow, long strides, he pulled out his bowie knife. Suddenly he was caught off by someone, he moved his eyes to meet the same pair. Cheshire blocked his way with her arms wide open and her eyes casting the same glare as his own.

"Get out of my way,woman." He growled, pointing the knife at poor Nutty still struggling to fit himself through the window. "My buisness is with him not with you."

"Oh pity. I wanted to be the first to be killed by your hands," she grinned taking a step forward so that she can take his gloved hand which hold the sharp tool to lick it in a sensual manner. "I promise to be a better victim then Nutty over there. You always do something to him thats candy related like that one time you put blades in his caramel apple. I mean really, Flipqy. I'm starting to think you're slipping."

Flipqy snap as he shoved Cheshire up against the wall pressing the knife to her throat. Cheshire didnt scream or she didnt show any signs of fear. She simply laughed, that same laugh she was doing earlier when talking to Toothy. The same musicial laugh. And it pissed off Flipqy to no end. It makes it like she was laughing at him, his failures to put fear into this woman. If only he could find some sort of weakness within her then they'll see who gets the last laugh.

"I promise to make your death quick,woman." He mutter under his breath, showing his sharp canines. "Make it so quick, you want have time to pleasure yourself in your own pain and blood."

"Oh,pity." She mock-pouted. Poking out the bottom of her pink lips that Flipqy wanted to bite. "But I wanted to tell you a joke just before you kill me. Would you like to hear it?"

Flipqy wasnt interested on hearing the masochist's joke but his other side somehow leak the sudden intrest into his body.

"For your sake it better be a good one." Was all he said. His golden eyes flicker to a calm state. Cheshire smirked as she began to tell her joke.

"A masochist, sadist, murderer, pyromaniac, zoophile, and necrophiliac were all sitting on a bench together bored out of their minds. To break the silence the zoophile spoke up, "Let's have sex with a cat." He suggested. The sadist spoke, "Let's have sex with a cat and then torture it." The murderer spoke, "Let's have sex with a cat, torture it, then kill it." The necrophiliac got excited and spoke. "Let's have sex with a cat, torture it, kill it, then have sex with it again." The pyromaniac spoke next, "Let's have sex with a cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again, then burn it." Do you want to know what the masochist said?"

Flipqy didnt know but now was highly interested because this was his kind of a joke.

"What did the masochist said?"

"Meow." Cheshire smirk then purred, rubbing her knee against Flipy's crotch. Earning a groan from the sadist-murderer before her. "Now I have to ask you one little thing before you kill me."

"And that is?"

"Is your sheets, fireproof?" She smirked.

-Fin-