A few things... I posted a new story - Signs - so go check it out; basically cute Haleb in season 2. Additionally, to soothe some worries, no, I have not given up on Restraints. No, Signs is not GGGB. Yes, I will still be posting GGGB.
So I've decided I need to write every single Haleb story I want to and post it all before season 7 ends. Good for you guys, right? So here we have random semi-AU oneshot with themes of sex, alcohol, body awareness. Enjoy my beautiful people...
Consideration
Will you ever respect me? No
Do things my own way darling
You should just let me
Why you ain't ever let me grow?
As she stared at herself in the mirror, Hanna Marin felt nervous butterflies fill her stomach. It was the first time she'd been able to properly fit into a skirt Alison had leant her and it was the first time she'd be going to a college party. It was the start of senior year and all her friends were on the same page about getting in as much fun as possible before the shackles of the SATs kicked in, so when a college party had been floated around, they'd all jumped at the chance.
It didn't help that at every sleepover they'd had that summer, Alison DiLaurentis had managed to have a new story to tell about the latest hot college boy she'd managed to enchant at Hollis. Hanna could see why. She often thought her best friend was everything she wasn't; slim, pretty, perfect blonde curls that seemed to cascade down her back perfectly. But still, as she took a final glance in the mirror, Hanna thought she'd done a pretty good job of turning herself around. If there was ever a time she was going to score a college boy, now was it.
But she'd have to get past her mother first.
"Mom, I'm going to Ali's," She yelled, throwing on her new suede jacket and grabbing her overnight bag. She'd stashed her heels and a bottle of vodka from the liquor cupboard with the fake ID Alison had given her as a birthday present and she could see the glass bottle bulging out of the side.
Please please please she prayed silently, begging God to look down on her for once and make her mother just let her leave quietly without any parental checks.
"Wait!"
"Fuck," Hanna cursed under her breath, throwing her bag on the floor near the bottom of the bed.
"Have you got everything?" Ashley Marin appeared in the doorway.
"Yes Mom," Hanna rolled her eyes, "You don't need to keep checking on me you know," She said, "I'm almost 18. I'm not a little girl anymore."
"Sweetheart," Ashley started, folding up a t-shirt that had been thrown on the floor, "9 months ago I hadn't even heard of the name Alison DiLaurentis and you wouldn't go to a sleepover without a tub of Chunky Monkey. Trust me, I know you're not a little girl anymore."
"Can I take the car?" She asked, looking at her mother hopefully.
Ashley looked her up and down, raising an eyebrow at the length of the skirt before eventually nodding her head, much to Hanna's delight. "So, what are you girls doing tonight?"
"Aria's back from her college visit," She explained, trying to pick up her bag as quietly as possible as Ashley turned her back and started to head out the room, "We're celebrating."
"Do you want any money for pizza?"
"No, we're good," Hanna smiled tightly, grabbing the car keys off the side.
"Okay, well have a great time," Ashley sighed, propping her hand on her hip as she took in her teenage daughter. She was growing up far too quickly for her liking. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Love you," Hanna called as she made her way towards the front door.
"Love you too," She heard, "And don't drink all that vodka in one go. I don't want to be taking you to the hospital at 3am to get your stomach pumped."
Hanna froze with her hand on the doorknob and squeezed her eyes shut, "I won't," She yelled back. Next time she'd make sure she wouldn't have to supply the alcohol.
"So, how was it?" Alison looked at Aria pointedly as they sat around her room, drinking vodka mixers from red solo cups. Hanna had never felt so cool and to top it off, Ali had actually paid her a compliment about the skirt. This was what senior year was about.
"How was what?" Aria played dumb as four pairs of eyes settled on her.
"Do you wanna tell them, or should I?" Alison raised her eyebrows and sent her friend a knowing smirk.
"Tell us what?" Emily asked, her eyes glancing over at Alison to take in her outfit.
"That she lost her v card, that's what," Alison laughed as everyone else in the room gasped.
"Aria!" Hanna exclaimed, her hand over her mouth.
"Don't look too shocked Han, you might be next," Ali shot her a look, smiling into her cup devilishly.
"Who was he?" Spencer interrupted, sitting down on the end of the bed.
"He was just this guy," Aria shrugged, "I dunno, we just got drunk one night at the beach and it felt right."
"Did he know it was your first time?" Emily frowned.
"Probably," Aria shrugged, "I didn't really bring it up."
"Was it good?" Hanna asked; she felt so inexperienced compared to the other girls and she wanted to know everything she could about what it felt like to be wanted by a boy.
"Yeah," Aria blushed, "It was good."
"Did you see him again?" Emily asked, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "Didn't you want it to be with your boyfriend or something?"
"Em," Alison sighed, tired of Emily's self-righteous attitude, "You have a boyfriend," She tilted her head, "And you're not doing it. Clearly, the two don't go hand in hand."
"Alison," Spencer whispered harshly as she saw the hurt cut across Emily's face.
"Well ladies," Ali ignored her, looking around the room, "That's two down, three to go," She smiled, "And there'll be some college guys looking for fresh meat tonight if we want to tip the balance."
"Do you know them, Ali?" Hanna asked, taking another sip of her drink. The vodka was already starting to go to her head and for once, she actually felt like she might fit in at this party.
"Most of them," The blonde shrugged casually, "Eric will be there."
"Eric Kahn?" Emily frowned. Why was Alison hanging around with Eric Kahn.
"Jeez Em, where have you been all summer?" She raised her eyebrows again, "Eric's been taking me to all his parties recently."
"I think Ian's going too," Spencer remarked.
"Oh goodie," Ali snarked, "Let's hope he doesn't get into a fight with Eric again."
"Why did they get into a fight?" Hanna asked naively.
"Over me of course," Alison twirled a piece of hair around her finger. "One day, boys will fight over you too Han."
"I don't think so," Hanna threw a glance sideways as she twisted the fabric of her skirt nervously.
"With those boobs, you could be anyone's tonight," She reassured her.
"Thanks," Hanna said quietly, shooting her a small smile. She didn't want somebody to want her for her boobs, she wanted somebody to want her for her.
"Not you Spence," Alison couldn't help but shoot the brunette a bitchy smile, "You might come in when you go on the pill but I guess, to do that you need to be having sex."
"I guess," Spencer muttered.
"Cycles can be hard to break," She sneered, "Drink up ladies," She raised her glass, "We've got a party to go to and no boy wants a sober seventeen year old."
Hanna found herself linking arms with Emily as they strolled through the front door to a bursting fraternity house. The music was thumping and after spending an hour standing around, drinking alcohol and chatting with her friends, she was already feeling a little woozy. "Han," Emily tugged on her arm and brought her attention back to her, "You're not gonna do anything stupid are you?"
"Like what?"
"Like, sleep with a random guy just to impress Ali?"
"I'm not that precious about my v card," Hanna shrugged, trying to act nonchalant.
"Don't be stupid," Emily shook her head, "Your first time should mean something."
"Aria's didn't," Hanna defended herself.
"Did you not see her face when Ali pushed her to tell us?" The brunette said as they made their way to the liquor table. "Look," Emily tried again, "Just don't go throwing it down with some random college guy just because you don't want to be the last one to have sex."
"Han," Alison snapped from a few metres away where she was stood with two boys, "Come here," She beckoned her over, her usual charming smile on her face. "Eric, this is Hanna," She introduced them.
"Hey," The tall, dark college boy smiled at her. "This is Caleb," He nodded at the guy stood next to him and it wasn't long before he was leaning down to press a kiss against Hanna's cheek – she wasn't sure if it was actually the side of her mouth but by the time he'd pulled back, she already had sparks shooting through her body.
"Hey," He grinned, running a hand through his hair. She studied him for a moment, taking in his grey top and tanned arms, before her eyes gravitated to his face, pausing tantalizingly on his lips. She'd never had lips make her feel so much with just a touch before. She bit her lip and in that moment, their eyes connected again, blue meeting brown, intrigue meeting desire.
"Hi," She stuttered just as Alison jabbed her with her elbow, "I'm Hanna," She flipped her hair over her shoulder, confidence oozing out of her.
"I know," Caleb smirked at her. "You want a drink?" He asked over the music.
"Sure," She agreed as Alison sauntered off with Eric towards the back of the house. "Do you know Ali?" She asked him, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.
"No, not really," Caleb shrugged, grabbing two red solo cups and pouring them both a JD and coke. "She comes over to see Eric sometimes," He added, holding a cup out for her, "Cheers."
"Do you wanna hook up?" Hanna blurted out and Caleb almost spat his drink out.
He took a second to recover as he stared at the pretty little blonde in front of him before he placed his cup down. Hanna felt heat flushing her cheeks and was internally berating herself for being so dumb when he started to walking towards her slowly. They moved back together and she didn't know when he was going to stop until her back connected with a wall. Suddenly, his body was pinning her in place, her gaze was blurring and her heart was racing as his nose nudged her earlobe, "Gotta start slower babe," He whispered before he pushed his lips onto hers. It wasn't deep, it wasn't tender, it was just two pairs of lips connecting, pushing hard against each other and when he pulled back she was shocked at the amount of energy that left her body with him. "See you later," He murmured, loving the shock on her face before he grabbed his drink and disappeared into the throngs of people.
"Hanna," Spencer rushed over having witnessed the entire thing. "What the hell was that?"
"That…" Hanna lifted her hand to feel her lips, "Was Caleb."
Hanna kept her eye out for Caleb the rest of the night, but she was left feeling disappointed when he didn't appear. Instead, she drank and danced with her friends but she felt like they had some big glaringly obvious warning sign about how old they were flashing above their heads – guys didn't come near them and whilst that wasn't the purpose of the night, a little interest would have gone a long way for her self-esteem.
"Han, are you okay?" Emily asked as she looked at her friend with concern. It was like she was spaced out on another planet.
"Yeah," Hanna nodded, downing the last of her drink, "I'm just gonna go to the bathroom," She muttered, throwing her cup on the floor and heading for the stairs. She also wanted some cold fresh air to help clear her head because despite her inexperience with alcohol, something told her she'd be feeling pretty bad when she woke up.
"I've been looking for you," A voice murmured, just as she found the door to the bathroom.
She turned around and wobbled a bit, "Can you just wait, like one more minute," She held her finger up at Caleb, "I really need to pee."
"Sure," Caleb grinned, leaning back against the wall with his arms folded across his chest as she slammed the door and went about her business. When Hanna reappeared, Alison had shown up for the first time that night and whilst Hanna felt a source of comfort having her friend there, she was immediately put out when the blonde rested a flirtatious hand on Caleb's forearm. This was Ali, putting her back in her place, and it stung like a bitch.
"Hey," Hanna swallowed, tugging on the back of her skirt nervously.
"Hey," Alison smiled patronizingly at her, "I remember my first college party too," She said sympathetically, "It's hard to hold our alcohol."
"I wasn't being sick," Hanna frowned, crossing her arms defensively. She wanted to feel good about herself and Alison was only serving to do the opposite.
"Princess needed to pee," Caleb shot her a grin and she relaxed again. "I need to show you that thing," He raised his eyebrows at Hanna and reached out to hook his arm around her neck. "You're selling your soul Ali," He called as he led Hanna down the hallway to his room. "Do you actually like her?" He shot Hanna a look as she settled on his bed and started to pick at the covers.
"Ali's a good friend."
"Friends don't make you feel shit about yourself."
"She knows stuff," Hanna shrugged and she meant it in more ways than one; Ali had a lot on them, but she was also experienced in life and Hanna admired that. She wanted that.
"She doesn't know when a guy's not interested," He muttered.
"She asked you to talk to me though," She said casually.
"No," Caleb's eyes narrowed, "Is that what she said?"
"No, but I know it's the truth."
"Pretty sure I asked Eric who you were," He murmured, sitting next to her on the bed.
"I think you're really hot," Her voice trembled, "Fuck," She looked up at him with wide eyes and a hand quickly went to her mouth, "I wasn't supposed to say that out loud."
He bit his lip to fight a grin, before his hands were cupping her cheeks and he was slanting his mouth over hers. She felt his tongue, begging for entrance and he swallowed a gasp as she opened her mouth and they fell back on the bed. He knew the moment he'd seen her walk in that he'd love kissing her. And he did. Her mouth on his felt incredible and he couldn't help but let out a low throaty groan as their tongues dueled. She fought for dominance, just like he'd expected and when she started to tug on his hair he felt himself start to grow hard.
He let his hands run down her back, dancing underneath the hem of her crop top until he couldn't fight the urge anymore and they moved round to her front to cup her chest. "Fuck," He whispered as she started to grind herself down into his cock. "I wanted you the moment I saw you."
"You can have me," She whispered back, starting to pull on the bottom of her top.
"Hanna," He moaned as her strapless bra came into view, "On a scale of one to ten how drunk are you?" He asked, flipping them over so that he could look down at her as he peeled off his t-shirt.
"Six," She said, covering her chest self-consciously.
"You're lying," He murmured with a grin on his face as she bit her lip. "Can you stop doing that," He shook his head as he reached for her skirt.
"Sorry," She whispered, letting him toss the white denim to the side.
"I'm kidding," He grinned, "Bite your lip all you want," He added, falling back on top of her and taking her mouth hard and fast.
"Do you have a…?" She gasped, pulling away from him. This was it. Hanna Marin was going to lose her virginity. The balance was going to swing. She was finally going to be a woman.
It was Caleb's turn to nibble on his bottom lip as he shook his head at her, "We're not fucking," He said, kissing the corner of her mouth gently as his hands brushed her hair back from her face.
Change of plan. Hanna Marin was not going to lose her virginity.
"But…" She tried as his fingers trailed down her stomach.
"But nothing," He said, his hand cupping her through her panties as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm gonna make you cum," He whispered in her ear, running his finger tips up and down the cotton. "But when we fuck, you're gonna remember it," He added, pushing the material to the side to find her wet and dripping.
"I'll remember this," She gasped as he pushed a finger into her. She was tight, so tight and Caleb knew in that instance he was the first. But he didn't care. He'd seen her, he'd wanted her and he didn't want anyone else to have her. "Caleb," She moaned as he started to pump his finger in and out of her.
His digits twisted and turned, moving to rub her sensitive nub before returning back to her deep heat to make her moan as he fulfilled his promise. She wanted to scream, but his mouth was on hers and her mind couldn't decide whether to focus on the pleasure from his fingers or his tongue. When no sound could escape, her toes curled, her fingernails dug, her legs tightened and when movement stopped she fought for breath as they stared at each other and smiled.
At the next party, Hanna was, wearing her own skirt, doing things her own way, growing. At the next party, Hanna had the balance firmly in her favour. At the next party, Hanna was the one introducing Alison to people. With consideration, at the next party, Hanna had peace of mind.
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