DISCLAIMER!
I love Snape's story, but I don't like the fan fiction out there that depicts Lily actually loving Severus the whole time she was married to James. Lily loved James! (Although if you want to argue they COULD have loved each other, I agree very much).
However, I believe Lily loved James wholeheartedly. Her patronus was a doe after all, the equivalent of James' stag. And plus, Lily was a very strong willed person. I don't believe she would have married James because she couldn't get Severus. That doesn't seem like Lily at all (But, what do I know, It's J.K Rowling who knows the real deal). Anyway, I love Snape, Lily AND James. So enjoy!
PS: Reserve the flaming to polite thoughts. Don't be a total noob. We're all playing nice here.
PSS: Yeah, Lily's patronus isn't really a dolphin. I made it up, mmkay?
-KH920
Severus Snape was accustomed to blocking out unpleasant rumours and annoying gossip, but even he could not ignore the latest gossip that was travelling around the school. On a sunny morning during Ancient Runes, Severus unexpectedly picked up a name while writing feverishly. A name that, unfortunately, left his heart thundering very loudly.
"Her patronus is different, I saw it the other day myself in DADA."
"Rubbish, patronus' only change when-"
"An emotional upheaval happens to the person."
"So…..?"
"Lily Evan's patronus, once a dolphin, has now formed into what appears to be a doe."
There was a long pause. Snape, who had abruptly stopped writing and who's heart had been hammering wildly just seconds before, now stopped cold. His eyes widened as he mouthed the word "doe?"
It couldn't be. Just gossip nonsense. Lily Evan's patronus couldn't be a doe, it'd be exactly like-
A stag. James Potter's patronus.
Snape felt horrified and extremely nauseated. He knew she was going out with that arrogant fool, but he had no idea- it couldn't be-.
"Professor," Snape croaked. "I need to use the loo please."
The professor nodded absentmindedly, reading a long roll of parchment. While the rest of the class scribbled quietly, Snape flew out of the classroom, intent on finding Lily and trying to escape from his thoughts. He didn't know where she could be, so he finally settled in front of the Gryffindor common room, reflecting sadly that he hadn't done this since fifth year.
At half past twelve, the bell finally rang for lunch. Many Gryffindor's gave him dirty looks as they entered the common room, but Snape simply didn't care. He needed to see Lily, he needed to demand an explanation and he needed to squash these ridiculous rumours.
Finally, after an agonizingly long time, he saw a mane of red hair and his heart sputtered hyperactively. She was so beautiful. Her vibrant green eyes stood out amongst the crowd, crinkled with laugh lines. She was getting closer, unaware that Severus was waiting for her, however, the man beside her did.
Potter. Arrogant, rich, good looking Potter. Snape clenched his fists in white hot anger while grinding his teeth.
James whispered in Lily's ear and she turned to face Snape. Her smile immediately faltered and her expression turned stony. It pained him to see her glaring at him like that, when it could have been him whispering in her ear, him holding and caressing her hand….
She approached him cautiously, her grip tightening around James' hand. Snape felt cold fury beating into his heart and he mutinously glared at James, who sneered back at him in an annoyingly superior way.
"Severus," Lily acknowledged. She gave a curt nod. He looked at her pleadingly, begging for her eyes to soften, but she remained stubborn.
"I need to talk to you." The words came out muffled.
James scoffed. "That's rich Snivellus, coming from a prat who doesn't talk to 'mudbloods'."
Both Severus and Lily flinched. As a tinge of pink crossed his pale features, Severus pressed on.
"I need to talk to you," he muttered to Lily, eyes downcast. "Alone."
It seemed that the seconds dragged on. Severus, who wanted so bad to look into Lily's eyes, continued to stare at his feet.
"James."
Severus looked up. Lily was looking into James' eyes pleadingly. He opened his mouth to protest, paused, gave an exasperated sigh and placed a gentle kiss on Lily's lips before stepping into the portrait hole. Severus felt nauseated, bile forming in his throat, clutching the side of the wall for support. Lily simply stood, looking at Severus. He couldn't tell what she was thinking.
Finding that his throat was suddenly very dry, Snape barely croaked:
"Is it true?"
Lily simply continued to stare. Her eyes, so luminescent around Potter, remained frosty in his presence.
"There have been- rumours, that your patronus has- has-." He couldn't finish the sentence, and suddenly found that the distance between them was too vast, like a giant chasm. Suddenly, In one fluid moment he grabbed Lily's hand and was looking into her eyes. He needed to know. She jerked slightly in surprise, but her eyes seemed to finally soften, and she whispered:
"Sev."
His palms instantly became sweaty and he found that his mind began repeating her beautiful voice in his head again and again.
Sev, Sev, Sev, Sev.
"Show me," he whispered.
Lily straightened up, and looked into Severus' eyes. She looked very sad. The halls were now deserted, with a distant chatter coming from the great hall.
Finally, Lily took out her wand. Snape held his breath, his own heartbeat crashing in his ears.
"Expecto Patronum," she murmured.
A beautiful silver doe erupted out of her wand, gliding around the halls before stopping in front of Lily. She patted the doe's nose lovingly before it disappeared in a silvery wisp.
Severus stopped breathing. It was too much to grasp. Gasping, he slid to the floor, his heart breaking into pieces. He had hoped (foolishly), in the dark of the night, that she would break up with Potter, forgive him and find that she had loved him all along. He hoped and dreamed that he would be the one to love her, and hold her. To kiss her would be Heaven, to touch her would be a euphoric feeling that simply could not be replicated.
It took him a moment to realize he was crying bitter tears. He felt he needed to compose himself but didn't have the energy. Closing his eyes, he simply resolved to sit there forever , however jerked in surprise when he felt two arms wrap around him gently. The smell of strawberries encased him in memories.
Lily.
"I'm so happy Severus," She whispered.
Snape closed his eyes. She was happy. Somehow the thought was comforting. He leaned against her for a moment, savouring her touch.
"I'm getting married."
Snape moaned loudly. He was sure his loud sobbing would attract attention but stopping was proving to be impossible.
Lily kissed his cheek softly and got up. She glanced one last time at Severus, who happened to see a large diamond on her left finger. Bitterness swelled in his chest like a balloon. Of course, rich Potter could afford such a ring.
Slowly, Severus forced himself to look into her eyes. They that would never glance at him as lovingly as she would glance at Potter.
"Bye Sev," she whispered before rushing into the portrait hole.
He must have sat there for hours. People came and went, giving him curious looks but Lily Evans never came out of the portrait hole. Finally, when Peeves began shooting spit wads at him (just his luck) and the sun began to set, he left and returned to the Slytherin Dungeon.
"Don't worry," sneered Mulciber later that evening, "That mudblood's no good anyway. No use crying over one."
With these seemingly comforting words Mulciber strutted haughtily off to bed. This left Snape quite alone. He put his head in his hands and suppressed a moan. He had never felt so pathetic in his life.
He was so in love with Lily Evans and he had thrown that all away for a shred of dignity that didn't last even a second. Now she was not only in love with a man that was not him, it was a man whom Snape hated wholeheartedly. His heart lurched painfully.
Slowly, he took out his own wand, musing over the fact that Lily's patronus was now a doe. The rumour was true after all.
Closing his eyes, he thought of a green meadow, and a girl with wild red hair running bare-footed through the grass surrounded by an endless blue sky.
"Sev!"
"Expecto Patronum," he whispered. Out glided a doe, beautiful and graceful, lighting up the dungeon.
Severus closed his eyes. Typical.
And with a small, sad smile, the doe vanished.
