Title: Pi Day
Author: Evil_Little_Dog
Rating: K+
Disclaimer: This is a derivative work, and, as such, I make absolutely no money writing this. Darn the luck.
Summary: It's Pi Day, and Raj wants to celebrate.
"This is the best day ever!" Raj said, all but bouncing up and down.
Sheldon fixed him with a stare. "It is not the 'best day ever'," he said, "no, the best day ever is the day when all humans have the option to put their brains in a robotic body."
"Whenever he says that, it always reminds me of that episode of The Simpsons and Mr. Burns in the future." Howard's aside to Raj didn't go unheard – Sheldon scowled at Howard, who smiled unrepentantly back.
"Come on, guys." Leonard tried to play peacemaker. "Sheldon, Raj's is happy about this being Pi Day, and you can be happy at being…"
"Our future robot overlord," Howard muttered.
"I heard that!" Sheldon fumed, his nostrils flaring for a few seconds, then he brightened. "At least I'll know my immediate subjects. You three, I can see you in positions in my court."
Raj, Howard, and Leonard exchanged glances. "Maybe the girls would like to celebrate Pi Day with us," Raj said. "We could take them out for yummy, yummy pies?" He started for the door as he spoke.
"That's an excellent idea," Howard said, grabbing his windbreaker.
Leonard snatched his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles hoodie up. "I'm in."
"But wait!" Sheldon said, following them. "Don't you want to hear your positions under my rule?"
"No!" they chorused, shoving through the door and all but running toward Penny's apartment and sanctuary.
"But I have the perfect positions for each of you, based on your strengths and weaknesses!" Sheldon hollered as he followed them. "Raj, you can be the cook!"
Raj hesitated as Leonard opened the door to Penny's apartment. "The cook?"
"Don't look in his eyes, Raj! You'll be turned to stone!" Howard hissed.
"I'm not a gorgon, Howard! I don't have a snake tail." Sheldon followed them into Penny's, nodding at Amy. "Tell them I'm not a gorgon, Amy!"
"He's not a gorgon," she repeated, blinking. "What is this even about?"
"Pi Day," Raj said, "I'm calling Emily, and we're all going out for pie!"
"I like pie," Penny nodded agreeably.
"Me, too," Bernadette said. "Cheesecake Factory?"
"Pies," Raj insisted, "not cheesecake. We need to go to the Pie Factory instead."
"Is there such a thing as a Pie Factory?" Amy wanted to know.
"Hello? I am not a gorgon, and I don't want anyone saying that about me!" Sheldon said, all but stomping his foot.
"Right, right, Sheldon." Penny patted his chest as she walked by. "Maybe you should have a piece of pie."
He seemed to be thinking on it for a few seconds. "All right. Did you know that pies were originally made specifically of meat and gravy?"
Raj shook his head. At least they were actually going for pie.
~ end ~