The words they never expected
Today wasn't starting out so good, it was one of the most chaotic days I've had since I've been back on the force. First Andy chased down a suspect, then a couple of stupid kids thought it would be funny if they would report people trying to rob a bank, then Andy and I had to go get'em and bring them back to the barn. Yup. I'd say today was pretty stupid overall. Not to mention Andy never really speaks to me any more after, well, you know, and now I'm about to break this on going silence. I had to tell her right? I just had to. I don't wanna leave but Boyko is forcing me to go undercover again. C'mon Sammy, how hard is it just to tell her.
"Andy, i-i, Boyko is making me go undercover again" I said depressingly.

She snaps her head to my direction immediately, her eyes starting to get glossy, and her mouth dropped open not knowing what to say exactly.

"Why?" she says half-heartedly.

"Boyko needs to go make another bust on some gang".

"Aren't they going to recognize you?",

"Naw, I'm going to a different side of the city."

"W-w-when?" "I don't know, me and Boyko are going to talk about it tonight", I can see the look on her face, I shocked the hell outta her. She had no clue what to say next, she looked like she wanted to ball her eyes out!

"You'll make it through this, just like you always do" I spoke trying to comfort her. "How can you expect me to be ok with this? How are you ok with this? You just sit there like its nothing and you just drop this bomb shell on me thinking im going to be ok?" she shrieked at me.

Ahh, Andy overreacting like usual I thought to myself, but this time I had no idea what to say next thought, she was devasted.

"How long have you known?" I didn't want to answer so I didn't. She'd be too furious with me. I was so lost in my thoughts, didn't realize she was speaking to me until she started screaming at me!

"how long have you known?" her eyes were about to tear up any second now so I decided to tell her, "2 weeks", that's when the water works started.

"What? And you tell me today? What happened to partners, huh? Suppose to tell each other everything? What about as friends, huh?" tears started streaming down from her face; I took my hand and gently wiped her tears away. I felt this tingle going up my hand as I touched her warm face, before she shoved my hand away. She was right though why didn't I tell her? We are partners right? So why didn't I just tell her? I kept screaming in my head. I just wanted to take away all her pain and I didn't know why? Come on Swarek pull it together, pull it together! Since when did you feel this way about a rookie? Or was she more to me then just my rookie?

I must look like an idiot just crying my eyes out in front of him, but how he could just leave like this and doesn't even bother to tell me. He doesn't even know how angry I am at him yet, I still lo- I pushed down that thought and kept it there. I tried to stop the tears from pouring but they just kept spilling out, and then is warm hand cupped my face and wiped away my tears that sent tingles all over me, then I felt my cheeks getting rosy red as I shoved his hand away. I can only imagine what he might be thinking at this moment, how I'm such a baby, and I overreact too much, and thinking he could possibly think these things, I managed to stop my self from crying.

"Were you even going to tell me?" my voice cracked. We pulled over to the curb and he turned his body to face me so I did to, for a minute, I swear we were just staring into each others eyes, "yes".
I really didn't see the point of pulling to the curb just to tell me yes, but he's boss so whatever.

"When were you going to tell me?" I whispered. He just kept his eyes on the road not even turning to look at me, which I'm kinda glad because I would definitely get lost in those eyes again.

"When I knew for sure that I was going" he said smugly. "So you were going to tell me the day you were leaving?", "look, can we just drop this now!" He seemed like he was getting mad, so I just dropped it, I found my self getting angry to but I guess I'll keep it boggled up. For what it seemed like forever staring out the window I never noticed anything going on in the car until Sam turned on the lights and we were zooming past people.

"Where are we going?"

"McNally, where have you been in la la land, were on our way to a guy waving his gun around on the street!"

"oh." whoa how could I miss that, was I in that much of a shock not to notice that we got a call I questioned myself. It just hit me this guy is armed and dangerous, I might have to shoot someone dead again, or maybe it will be me or Sam that gets shot. You could see the worry on my face and im pretty sure Sam noticed to.

"You gonna be ok?"

"Yeah, yeah I'll be fine" I told him and myself and yet the fear was all over my face. Until we pulled in to see the teen holding a kid hostage with a gun to her head. Sam and I jumped out of the car, guns drawn, and our game faces on.

"Sir, put the gun down!" Sam yelled.

"And why should I do that?" the young man yelled. That's when the anger flared up in me, all the feelings I suppressed they suddenly all came alive.

"Because if you shoot her, we'll shoot you!" I exclaimed. Sam glanced a look at me to see what the heck go into me, I didn't know either.

"Yeah and what if you miss!" it seemed like the guy was trying to piss me off, and believe me it was working. I just felt the anger flaring up inside, I felt as though I was going to explode, and before Sam could say anything, I yelled "no believe me, I have pretty damn good aim, besides IF I miss there plenty more officers around here to shoot you, and soon enough snipers!". This time Sam snaps his head to me, "McNally what the hell are you doing!" he whispers.

"Yeah, ok, then my army will come shoot all of yall" he said amusingly. it seemed like he was enjoying this, like this was all a joke, so I figured I might as well just play along even though its not the time, "yeah, really, because I don't see anyone around here to back you up!"

The guy seemed to chuckle darkly, "your pretty funny, acting all tough and macho, when really you're just a pussy cat!"

A cat! He's comparing me to a cat! Then I oddly found myself looking to see if I would be able to actually make the shot from here, him and the girl are turned sideways, so I could easily shoot him without hitting the girl. Why was I even thinking this! It's to risky! What if I shoot the girl!

"Nothing to add to that, nope I guess not, so its getting a little boring in here what do you say we add a little excitement!" he chuckles.

I hate to think what he meant, when he suddenly pushes the girl to the floor, turns his body to my direction along with the gun, "say goodbye kitty cat" he whispers, but I could still hear him, he's about to pull the trigger but I pulled mine sooner. 1, 2, 3, that's how many times I shot him.

Shot him dead. Shot him dead until he was lying on the floor in a puddle of his own blood. I shot him. I shot him dead. 3 or 4 officers rushed over to the girl to see if she's ok, when someone rushed to my side, I looked over to see Sam. He eyes said everything, are you ok, are you sure etc.

"yeah I'm fine" I breathed as I stood there staring at the lifeless body. The life I took. Then I felt strong arms wrapped around me, someone else breathing in my ear, and the only person I could think of was Sam Swarek. I wrapped my arms around this person, I didn't know who it was, but I had a hunch. Sam Swarek. I was hoping it was Sam swarek. I pulled away to see who it was, and sure enough, my knight and shining armor, I looked in him big brown eyes, and I got lost, I felt as though no talking was needed are emotions just said it all. We just stood there, in each others arms for what it seemed like forever, until...