3

The Student Wizard

First, he was a small pebble on the driveway in front of the station.

"Very funny, pal. Now turn me back into what I'm supposed to be!" the pebble snapped.

"Flash bam alakazam!" The young wizard pronounced the words of the spell, only to have it backfire.

The pebble became a golf ball.

"FORE!" the golf ball said sarcastically.

Next, the golf ball was a carrot.

"Eh, what's up doc?" the carrot snarled.

A snicker escaped the lips of a dark haired guy in a blue uniform who was watching nearby, earning a glare from the carrot.

Flash bam alakazam. The 'wizard' tried again.

Now, the carrot was a huge frog. The biggest frog anyone had ever seen. 6 foot 1 inches and 180 pounds. It could have made the Guiness Book of World Records.

"Ribbit Ribbit," the frog said irritably.

The dark haired guy was no longer amused, but suspicious. He looked at the back of the coat the 'wizard' was wearing. Sure enough, the message was 'Student Wizard'.

Once again, S.W. tried casting the spell again. Now, the frog was Princess Diana in her wedding dress, twenty-five foot train, a diamond tiara, the whole nine yards. 'Princess Diana' was furious.

"At least you've got me back to being human again. Now get me back to the type of human I'm supposed to be."

Next, Princess Diana was Marilyn Monroe in the white dress from the subway grate photo.

"Listen, Pal, I'll give you flash bam alakazam if you don't stop messing with me!" 'Marilyn' shook her fist at S.W.

S.W. pronounced the spell for what seemed like the zillionth time, only to have 'Marilyn' become Magic Johnson.

"Can't you do anything right, 'wizard'?" dark hair asked.

Magic Johnson became Adolf Hitler.

"I don't recall asking to be turned into the cruelest dictator in human history!" 'Adolf' smoldered.

Another attempt at the spell, and now 'Hitler' was a clone of the dark haired guy, right down to the blue uniform and the longish and slightly wavy dark brown hair.

"At least you've got part of the equation right. NOW SOLVE FOR THE CORRECT VARIABLE!" the clone yelled.

Flash bam alakazam.

Now the clone was back to being what he was supposed to be, a guy in a blue uniform with blue eyes, light brown hair, and freckles. But there was still something wrong, and that was the fact that 'freckles' was only two feet tall, and he was supposed to be 6 foot 1 inch tall.

"You still haven't solved for the correct variable, dumbass!" Freckles fumed.

"Oops. My bad," S.W. said apologetically.

"That's right, twit. You bad all right. Bad wizard, no broom." Freckles said resentfully.

Dark Hair grabbed S.W. by the collar of his coat.

"Now you listen to me, pal. You get my friend back to the way he should be, you incompetent student wizard. Or I will see to it that Harry Potter will have you expelled from the Los Angeles campus of the Hogwarts School of Wizardry. Now fix him properly, you idiot!"

"Flash bam alakazam!" Finally, S.W. cast the spell and Freckles was back to what he was supposed to be. Six foot one inches tall. One hundred and eighty pounds. Intense blue eyes the color of the Pacific Ocean. Short light brown hair. Freckles. Slightly off kilter smile. The works. But, Freckles was hopping mad.

"It's about time you got me fixed right. Now get lost, or I'll volunteer you for scientific experiments at Rampart."

Wisely, S.W. took himself off.

"Good riddance to bad rubbish," Dark Hair told Freckles.

"Indeed."