There's Something About Sang

Waking up from my dream that morning was one of the hardest things I had ever had to do. I didn't want to leave a willing and enthusiastic Peanut, her body perfectly molded to mine, mouth supple and tasting so damn sweet. I swear that girl went faster to my brain than even the strongest liquor could, even when I was asleep. Especially when I was asleep. The dream had been so good that when I finally awoke, groggy and hard as a rock, it took me all of a couple minutes to realize that I had slept through my alarm clock. Shit!

Kota would want to leave for school in 20 minutes and I began a mad scramble to get my ass out of bed. Thankfully, I had run an Academy errand last night and had showered right after. I dropped my boxers and grabbed a set of new clothes, but my body wasn't cooperating. I glared down at my offending limb and willed it to go away. I didn't have time for a cold shower and my body blatantly ignored my will. Shit, I was going to have to take care of this. There was no way I would be able to greet Peanut like this.

At the thought of Sang, images of her beautiful face and gorgeous body trickled through my mind and I could only think, fuck it. Taking myself in hand, I set a brutal pace, thinking of Peanut all the while. I bit back making any sounds, even though I had the house all to myself. The pleasure was intense and as memories from my fantasy last night replayed in my head, it wasn't very long before my vision whited out at the intensity of my release. I had to prop myself up against the wall as I struggled to get air into my heaving lungs, my legs weak. That had been fucking intense.

As I recovered, I looked down in horror to see I had made a huge mess on the floor. And I only had ten minutes to get my shit together, just fucking great. I rushed into the bathroom and cleaned myself up really quick, throwing my clothes on and wetting my hair briefly. I grabbed a dirty towel and went back to my room with the intention of cleaning up the floor, only to freeze the second I reached my door. For there, standing in the middle of my mess and looking so damn confused, was Peanut.

She turned and caught me frozen in the doorway with a deer-in-headlights look on my face and I felt my cheeks just fucking burn, I was so mortified. How the fuck was I going to explain this shit? But sometimes I forgot the scope of Peanut's innocence, because she just lightly stepped out of my puddle and smiled at me before asking a question that threw me for a loop.

"Good morning, Honey, I was trying to sneak up on you and surprise you before school. I accidentally stepped in...whatever that was. Did you spill something?"

I felt a rush of relief at her naivete along with the easy out she had just given me. A movie plot popped into my head and suddenly I knew what I was going to say. "Um, yeah Peanut. I was half asleep this morning and I accidentally dumped some of my hair gel on the floor. I was actually just about to clean it up."

I raised the towel I had in my hand as explanation and moved around her to quickly swipe up the mess. 'Thank God, crisis averted' I thought to myself. But then the worst thing that could ever happen did. As I turned to throw the dirty towel in my hamper, Peanut got this curious look on her face and darted out a hand, swiping at the mess until she had a decent amount. Oh, shit!

"Peanut, um, I mean, honey, what are you doing. You don't want that stuff baby, let's just wash that off your hand, okay?"

But noooooo, it couldn't be that simple, could it? Today had to be the day that Peanut was feeling fucking mischievous, because she darted under my outstretched hand and rushed to the bathroom before I could stop her. I rushed after her after I had recovered from my shock, but I was too damn late. She had rubbed my shit all through her hair and began to fucking style it and I thought I was going to have a stroke or something. Oh God. Peanut had my junk in her hair right now. Sang had it all throughout her hair and when she asked me the name of the "hair gel", I stuttered out the first thing that popped into my head.

"Es-escencia del Jengibre."

Did I really just fucking say that? Essence of Ginger? I mean, what the fuck Nathan, you are so fucking retarded! A honk from outside of the house caught my attention and I knew I was dead. Sang had my shit in her hair and now she was going to school and the guys were going to fucking neuter me. As Sang appraised herself in the mirror, looking so fucking cute despite how fucked up this whole thing was, she turned to me and tilted her head in that way I loved.

"So? How do I look, Honey? I think I like it!"

And being the idiot that I am, I ended up stuttering out an answer and then we were rushing out the door. Maybe I would get lucky and no one would notice? I knew my face was flaming red in my mortification and after getting Peanut situated, I rushed to get into the car. I refused to look at Kota as he greeted us both, but damn him if he wasn't the most observant son of a bitch alive.

"Sang, honey, what's up with your hair?"

"Honey spilled his hair gel this morning and I decided to use some so it wouldn't go to waste. Does it look bad?"

"No, not bad, just really different. Nathan?"

The command in my name was meant for me to look at Kota and I wanted to fight it, I really did. But I was too used to obeying that tone, so with utmost misery, I turned my attention to him. His eyebrows were raised in question as he began backing out, asking the one question I really didn't want to answer. Because, Kota had known me for practically ever. He knew I never used hair gel and he was curious at my reaction. I couldn't look into his inquisitive eyes any longer and just mouthed a movie title his way, the same movie I had gotten the hair gel idea from in the first place. I should have known that was a stupid idea. After all, it hadn't worked out that well for the main guy in that movie either.

I knew the second Kota caught onto the meaning of my words, because he slammed on the breaks in the middle of the road. The force jerked me forward, my seat belt locking me in place. Thankfully, we were on an empty street, or we would have caused an accident. Peanut began asking what was wrong and I forced myself to turn to face Kota. He was gaping at me, blatant shock and horror on his suddenly pale face. Disbelief was clear in his expression and as I felt myself redden further, his mouth moved in silent words. I knew he was counting to himself as he always did. Well, shit. I was so fucking dead right now.

Sang's concerned voice popped up again from the back and Kota forced himself to turn back to the road, his jaw twitching every so often and his knuckles white on the steering wheel he was gripping so hard. I just sunk into my seat miserably and counted off the precious seconds I had left to live. We had been late to school, so it took us longer to park than normal. We dropped Sang off in her homeroom and then Kota was dragging me to the nearest bathroom and I just let it happen. I had long since accepted that I was dead after today, so why wait? At least it wasn't North, I thought to myself.

Kota was pacing back in forth in front of me like a mad man, counting softly under his breath. At thirty, he whirled around to face me and I almost wanted to laugh at his disturbed expression.

"Mind explaining to me why Sang has your...THAT... in her hair this morning? I mean, really, Nathan? What the- I mean, I can't even- I mean, really?"

I wanted to just fucking die and sink into the floor right then, I was so mortified. I knew my face was scarlet red and it felt like you could make an omelet on my face, it was so hot. Haltingly, I explained what had happened and by the end, Kota was looking at me in blatant pity. He pinched his fingers on the bridge of his nose as he let out a deep sigh.

"Well, I guess there's nothing we can do about it now. Let's just hope no one else figures it out before the day is over. And next time Nathan? Just keep it in your pants. I don't care if you suffer all day for it, do you understand me?"

I gave my consent as I desperately hoped that no one else would figure it out. I mean, her hair didn't look bad and Gabriel might complain, but he would think it was hair gel unless he was told otherwise, right? And no one else was a hair expert, so I just needed to get through the day and not tip of the others. That should be easy, right?

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Oh, of course not, that would be way too damn easy. By third period, North marched into the classroom, a storm of rage painting his expression and I just knew he had figured it out somehow. Sang followed in his wake as he marched over to me and socked me in the arm. Really fucking hard and it hurt. I rubbed at my aching arm as he snarled down at me.

"Escencia del Jengibre? Really, Nathan? What the fuck is wrong with you? I swear I am so tempted to fucking strangle you right now, you have no idea how close I am."

"North, why are you so angry? It's just hair gel. If you don't like my hair like this, I won't do it again. Is it really that bad? Luke and Gabriel didn't seem to be very happy with it either."

North's rage sputtered out in the face of Sang's confused and hurt expression and he was suddenly soothing her as he shot me glares over her shoulder. I just groaned and dropped my blazing face on my desk with a loud thunk. Kota, North, Luke, AND Gabriel were all in the know now and I'm sure the rest of them are not that far behind. Forget dead. I was going to disappear with nary a trace to be seen after they all got a hold of me. And then I realized who Peanut had next for class and my heart just stopped.

Oh fucking Christ on a stick, Mr. Blackbourne was going to fucking eviscerate me. The Doc might laugh and tease me mercilessly when he finds out, but Mr. Blackbourne? I shuddered to even imagine what his reaction was going to be. And he would find out, there was zero doubt in my mind about that. That man was scary observant and he would catch on lightening fast. I said a silent prayer for someone to have mercy on my soul as I tuned out the rest of the geometry lesson and willed the ground to just open up and swallow me whole. Anything to avoid the rest of this day.

After class, North took off with Sang to escort her to her time with Mr. Blackbourne, shooting a final glare my way. It promised that this wasn't over and I debated about skipping school for the hundredth time that day. Instead, I forced myself to go to find a quiet area for my study period and finish up my Spanish homework, knowing that I would be in greater trouble if I left without telling anyone. I would just have to suck it up and face the consequences of this morning. I mean, Kota had been sympathetic in the end, maybe the rest of them would be too once they heard the whole story. Lunch was next and it would be time to face the guys and I was sure that if they didn't all know now, they would know soon enough.

I was just gathering my textbook and school supplies when I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket. I had been expecting an onslaught of angry texts and jibes from the others all morning, but my phone had been suspiciously silent. Maybe they had just been too angry to rag on me and now they were ready for blood. I fought down my dread as I swiped across the screen to read my text. The air rushed out of my lungs and I felt like I had just been slugged in the gut, hard.

Mr. Blackbourne: Family meeting at 6 pm sharp. Do not be late.

The 'or else' was implied on the end of that message. Oh fuck fuck fuckity fuck! Mr. Blackbourne must've been PISSED! Well, that does it, I was officially a dead man walking. It was going to be like a school of sharks in a feeding frenzy and I was the chub, all nice and bloody. I reluctantly made my way to our normal courtyard area and the second I came into view, six pairs of eyes fell on me in perfect synchronicity. They ranged from blatant amusement(Luke and Silas) to murderous(North) to outrage (Gabriel) and finally full on pity (Kota and Victor). Well, at least I had more people sympathetic or entertained than those out for my blood.

Sang seemed oblivious to the odd tense nature of our lunch or the flurry of silent accusations and questions flying over her head. By the end of it, I was about ready to strangle Luke or Silas. They had been making sly innuendos all lunch and it was only by the grace of the powers-that-be and Sang's naiveté that she had not caught on by now. Luke's opening quip of 'Hey Nathan, how's it cumming along today?' was just the first of many that I had to endure throughout the lunch. Silas was quick to join right in with one of his own. 'Yeah, Nathan, how's it cumming along, I heard you made quite the mess this morning and aggele mou was nice enough to help you clean it up. You shouldn't waste hair gel like that, so wasteful.' I went so deep red in mortification that Peanut began freaking out, asking if I was okay. Luke and Silas were just grinning like the evil sons of bitches they were, with Gabriel joining right in.

"Hey, Trouble, next time you want to style your hair, just ask me, okay? Nathan's..."product" isn't really good quality, trust me." I flipped him off and the rest of the guys just laughed at my embarrassment. The only thing that was keeping me from dying right then and there was Sang's blessed ignorance.

"Okay, Meanie. Can I use yours next time?"

I choked on my sandwich at Peanut's innocent question and I wasn't the only one. Gabriel turned bright red and the rest of us struggled to clear our airways at the implication of the question. Maybe ignorance wasn't so blissful after all. It was going to get us all killed, myself first and foremost. Sang just looked on in complete confusion as we struggled to regain our composure. Fuck if this day wasn't the worst of my life, ever.

"Sang, sugar plum, you can use my "product" anytime."

North slugged Luke in the arm for his cheek as he wagged his eyebrows at her, but Peanut only looked more confused as the rest of them laughed. I couldn't really find it funny, as they were taking digs at my expense. My appetite was officially gone and I just chucked the remainder of my food in the garbage. I sent Kota a pleading look and though he grimaced back, his sympathy clear, he made no efforts to stop the ribbing. North, the sadistic bastard, was just sitting back and letting the others do his dirty work. His eyes still promised retribution, but I had a feeling he was waiting for the family meeting tonight to dish it out.

The second that lunch was over, I popped up as fast as I could, intent on getting the fuck away from the asses I called brothers. Unfortunately, I was stuck with Luke and Gabriel next period and they just wouldn't shut up. If I heard one more fucking cum joke or innuendo, I was going to fucking scream! To make matters worse, the teacher kept asking if I was feeling okay or if I had a fever, which only made to jackass twins snicker even harder.

After that grueling hour, I was able to at least get rid of Dumb even if I had to take Dumber along with me to P.E. I had the impression that because this whole thing affected Sang's hair, he was taking personal offense over this morning's disaster. It didn't matter that I had done literally everything I could to try to stop her, he still blamed me. He knew how she could be when she wanted to be stubborn. He experienced it enough, but he refused to let me off the hook. Before I could begin changing into my P.E. clothes, I felt my phone buzz once again and I checked it out of habit.

Doc: You know, as funny as There's Something About Mary was, I never thought I'd see that happen in real life. I don't know whether to be amused, disturbed, or proud. Leaning more to the latter, to be honest. I'll make a Jedi out of you yet, my young padawan. See you at the family meeting.

A fucking winky face? Was he fucking serious? I just knew the bastard was laughing his ass off and I was mortified all over again. I rushed into getting changed for P.E., silently enduring Gabriel's taunts and reprimands and scarlet once again. Thank God this day was almost over. Nobody else in the school had noticed anything out of the ordinary, though some people had commented on Sang's new "hairstyle". And miracle of all miracles? Somehow Peanut had remained completely oblivious all day. She just needed to stay that way until we got her home because I knew that Gabriel would have her in the bathroom the second we parked, washing her hair clean.

Then I would just have to endure a grueling family meeting, accept whatever lecture or punishment Mr. Blackbourne saw fit to dish out, and then I could just forget this whole day ever happened. I knew the others would remember it enough for me anyways. The entire gym had been set up into different circuits and we were all paired up. Gabriel kept getting in cheap shots, but I just worked at tuning him out. We were doing pullups in sync, counting off when I saw Peanut's partner, an athletic girl with short hair, suddenly lean in closely and looked at her hair.

I tensed as her face went from confused to startled and she started saying something to Sang. I watched in terror as Sang's face went from confused to shocked to horrified in under a minute. Her cheeks flamed brightly and she raised a hesitant hand to her hair, touching it lightly before jerking it away. Oh, fucking hell. As soon as Peanut glanced my way, I could see the mortified question and a frantic hope that this wasn't happening clearly in her eyes from across the room. Seeing my own flaming cheeks and obvious embarrassment, she whirled away and wouldn't look at me for the rest of the period.

Fucking shit! Why?! We had been so close and someone had to tell Peanut the truth now? At the finish line, practically. A low whistle from the side drew my attention and Gabriel appeared to be fighting his amusement and his sympathy. Well fuck him and his pity. Neither of us spoke the rest of the class period and Peanut refused to look at either of us. She was darting to the locker room the second the class ended and I could only rush to get showered and changed, hoping to catch Peanut and apologize.

Despite my efforts, she somehow still beat us because she wasn't waiting for us outside and I got a notification from Victor that he had her and would be taking her home. Gabriel was going to ride back with Kota and I instead. I just groaned into my hands at how fucked up this day was turning out to be. How in the hell was I ever going to be able to look at Peanut ever again? And all that Gabriel had to say?

"Well, at least she didn't hit you or anything."

Are you fucking kidding me? My world just imploded with mortification as the girl of my dreams, literally, found out that she has been sporting my jizz in her hair all day. She couldn't even look at me or face me and I was pretty sure she would never talk to me again and all he could say was that bullshit? He just sheepishly shrugged his shoulders at my expression and led the way to Kota's car. Kota must've either heard from Victor already or read what had happened off of my expression, because he got into the car without any questions and left me to die wallowing in my misery in peace in the back of the car.

The car ride was dead silent with neither of the others interrupting my self-flagellation. Victor's car was parked in Kota's driveway by the time we got there and I rushed inside to find out how bad it really was. One look at Victor's face and I knew it was really fucking bad, judging by the complete and total concerned sympathy he was sending my way. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck! He cut off any questions we might have had with a swipe of his hand.

"Princess asked to be left alone for the night and I dropped her off at her house. I thought it wise to let her have her space, considering the, uh, events of the day. She's in the bathroom, cleaning up right now, so she's safe."

I just collapsed onto the couch and pressed the heels of my hand into my eyes until sparks danced across my eyelids. The others just left me alone to my wallowing until about 5:20. Kota nudged me to get my attention. I didn't have to move my arms from over my eyes to know that he was wanting me to get up. It was time to head off to the family meeting and I just didn't care what Mr. Blackbourne had to say anymore. Nothing could be worse then what had just happened. Time to face my imminent demise.

We all filtered into our seats at Victor's house and for once, we were all dead silent. I couldn't even look at the others after I got situated. I was so very ready for this entire day to be over with. A clearing of the throat drew my attention to Mr. Blackbourne who stood at the head of the table, his expression carefully neutral with his hands behind his back. I couldn't read the expression in his steel gray eyes as they passed over us all and landed on me for a moment. The Doc, on the other hand, was all too easy to read. He was practically brimming with the extent of his amusement, a wide grin plastered across his face and a damn twinkle in his fucking eyes. Bastard.

"I'm sure we are all aware as to why we are here tonight. But before we address our main issue of concern, how is Miss Sorenson, Mr. Morgan?"

"Um, well, she seemed pretty embarrassed the last time I saw her. I got a text from her after the last period of the day asking for a ride home. She wouldn't look me in the eye and after I got to her house, she asked to be left alone. She said she'll see us tomorrow, so that's something at least."

At this last part he shot me a look and gave me a grimace that might have been meant as a smile. Yeah, right, it was something indeed. I just looked away from Victor's gaze and looked desperately anywhere but at the others. But of course, Mr. Blackbourne wouldn't let me off the hook for this.

"Quite. I'll have a talk with Miss. Sorenson tomorrow when I have my class time with her. Now, Mr. Griffin, I'm sure we are all on pins and needles wondering how this whole thing came about. Care to enlighten us on the matter?"

If I didn't know any better, I would swear that there was a twinkle of amusement in eyes in his otherwise stoic expression. A fucking twinkle, but the second I looked to make sure, he merely raised his eyebrows at me expectantly. So for the second time today, I recounted the whole sordid details of my morning, drowning in my embarrassment and answering all of the questions thrown my way. North in particular shot me as many difficult and embarrassing questions as he could, a sadistic smirk on his face the whole time. I'd almost prefer he gave me a good pounding instead. By the time I was finished, I felt emotionally, mentally, and physically drained. And did I get any mercy? Fuck no, of course not. The Doc's grin had evolved into the widest fucking smirk over the course of my pathetic tale and when I finished, he just tutted at me and wagged a finger in my direction.

"Oh, how naughty, naughty of you Nathan. To defile the innocence of our fair princess in such a manner. For shame, you cad! For shame!"

Snorts of amusement raced through the room and the Doc's eyes just glittered merrily in response. I wanted to wipe his fucking smug smirk off his face, but I knew he'd kick my ass if I tried. The Doc could take even Silas down if he wanted to and he fought dirty as hell. He seemed to read my expression and only grinned wider and winked at me. Mr. Blackbourne appeared to take some pity on me, however and spoke up. At least, I thought it was pity at first. I should have known better.

"Well, this whole event has been, well, let's just say it's been a learning experience for us all. Boys, new rule. Keep your shit under wrap and use a cold shower next time. And if you don't have time? Just suffer, for all of ours' and Miss Sorenson's sake. I'm sure that's not a new experience for any of us at this point. Anyone have any problems with that? No? Good. And Mr. Griffin? Next time, don't get any ideas from a comedy, hmmm? They're foolhardy at the best of times and downright ludicrous for the rest, wouldn't you say?"

I was not hallucinating this time as a glimmer of amusement entered his eyes and his lips quirked slightly at the side. As the rest of the team broke into laughter, I dropped my flaming face onto the table with a loud thunk and just died. Fuck my life.