TWTB: a fan comic by Fallen-Seraphim on Deviant Art inspired this. Here's a link to the comic:
fallen-seraphim. deviantart. com/art/A-Very-Enterprise-Christmas-146617535
Just get rid of the spaces :3
Anyways, let's get this Show on the road!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
It all started when Jim strode into Bone's office to find the normally neat office an absolute mess. More importantly, a very Christmas themed mess. In fact, he nearly tripped over a pile of tubes of wrapping paper as soon as he got in the room.
"-The Hell, Bones?" The Capitan barked as he caught himself on the edge of the good doctor's desk. He righted himself and found his friend franticly wrapping presents, only pausing to shoot the blonde a glare.
"This damn five year mission… had so much work I lost track of time…" The doctor growled out as answer. "I've been wrapping sense midnight! If I don't get these sent by noon, they'll never get to earth on time!"
Jim tilted his head curiously to the side. He vaguely remembered that Bones had a VERY large family and had a habit of sending them each a hand wrapped present the old fashioned way (Usually one used the internet for everything from purchasing, to wrapping to shipping) but he was never this frantic about it. "Why? How long until Christmas?" He made a mental note to send his mother something later.
Bones stopped wrapping and gave a long-suffering sigh, dropping back into his chair. "In… I don't know… about…" He looked up at the clock. "Seventeen hours…"
Jim's eyebrows shot up. "Shit!" He cursed loudly. He definitely had to get his mom something now. His brother Sam too. And Bones. And… As he ran over in his mind of what to get whom, another name popped in his head.
"Should I get Spock something?" He asked no one in particular. He and his first officer had been in a relationship for nearly a year now, bond mates for one forth of that. Half a year ago they had agreed to reveal their relationship to everyone on the ship ("It's the logical option, T'Hy'La. They shall find out sooner or later") and they weren't all that surprised, and quickly accepted it, some taking longer than others. (Uhura had to have her shift changed for a while because she'd constantly send the Capitan death glares.) It wasn't so much the relationship aspect that the crew had to get used to, but the Capitan's habit of blatantly flirting with the Vulcan while on duty, which usually caused Chekov to blush.
Bones' brow rose, then shook his head as a large, evil grin spread across his Capitan's face.
"Jim…" He said before the blonde began giggling like a maniac.
"Bones… can you sew?"
This was going to be a long Christmas Eve…
*-*-*-*-*-*
Uhura entered the Mess hall, and after replicating a chicken sandwich, headed to the table her and Spock usually shared. Despite the fact that she was no longer in a relationship with him, and still had some feeling for him she stayed friends with him. Even after the shock of hearing he was in a relationship with Kirk, she respected his feelings, and made a promise not to kill the Capitan as long as he didn't cheat on the Vulcan.
Spock was already sitting at the table, attempting to stab one of the grapes of his fruit salad with a Spork. However, something was out of place. Namely a forest green Santa hat that was currently placed on his perfectly groomed ebony hair.
"Spock…" Uhura addressed as she sat across from the Vulcan, gaining his attention. "Um… whats with the hat?" She asked, pointing to said garment. She couldn't help but grin at the absurdity of it.
"The Capitan ordered me to wear it." Spock said as evenly as ever. "I believe he thought he was being… 'Cute'…" He raised an upswept brow as Uhura let out a quiet laugh.
"I'm Sorry Spock… but It's just so… Silly…" She confessed.
"Dr. McCoy said something of a similar effect." He mentioned. "After he was finished… 'Laughing his ass off' as humans say."
At the word 'Ass' Uhura couldn't hold in her giggles any longer, causing the tips of Spock's ears to turn the same shade of green as his hat.
I believe the Capitan will sleep alone tonight…*-*-*-*-*-*
"Commandar Spock!" Chekov called out from down the hall, jogging to catch up with the Vulcan's long strides. It was when he was walking in step with him that the young Russian noticed the hat. "I like your hat!" He pointed out with a large smile.
"Is that all you needed, Ensign? I am needed in lab 12." His voice had a tiny hint of dryness to it, clearly not happy about the compliment to his hat.
"No sir." He held out a Padd to the alien. "I need a signature for dis." The Vulcan stopped and turned to the Ensign, taking the Padd. As he looked it over and began signing it, Chekov noticed something over his shoulder.
Sneaking up behind the first officer was the Capitan, holding a coat that matched the hat Spock was currently wearing. He mad a 'Shhh'ing gesture to the young Ensign, but just as he was about to slip the coat on, Spock spoke up.
"I would strongly advise against that course of action, Capitan." He rebuffed as he handed the Padd and Stylus back to Chekov.
"Aww C'mon Spock!" Jim would later argue that he didn't whine. "It could be worse! It could be the tights!" He suggested with a sly smile.
"I believe the appropriate response would be 'I should like to see you try'." The Capitan could not take a challenge lying down.
Thirty seconds and one nerve pitch later, the Capitan was knocked out on the floor.
"Ensign, please assist the Capitan to sick bay." With that, Spock was once more on his way to lab 12.
*-*-*-*-*-*
"Is et on now?" Scotty asked from under the pilot consol.
"No. The screens still black…" Sulu replied from were he sat, hopelessly changing settings in an attempt to fix the problem.
"C'mon Girl! Donnae be doin this to meh now!" He was so busy with the Ship that he didn't hear the turbo lift doors open, or Sulu's surprised gasp. He shot up as the other man gently nudged his shoulder with his foot. The sight he was met with made him laugh out loud, earning him a glare from the one who had just walked out of the lift.
That would be one James T. Kirk, decked out in a large red and white fur coat, with a matching hat. It was clear he was supposed to be Santa Clause, but without the beard and big belly.
The Capitan sat in his chair and swiveled it around to face his first officer's station. "Hey Spock-" Before he could finish his well practiced pick-up line Spock cut him off.
"I am less than impressed, Capitan," He stated flatly, not turning from the scanner he was looking into, his hat now gone. (It was 'accidentally' burnt while he was in lab 12.)
Kirk pouted and let his chair turn back towards the view screen. "I didn't even say it yet…" He sighed dramatically and stood up, before an almost evil smile spread across his face.
Scotty and Sulu watched on as their Capitan walked over to stand next to Spock. He said something that made the Vulcan's ears turn a dark shade of green before patting him enthusiastically on the back. With that he left to go ask an Ensign something.
Scotty and Sulu sent each other grins as they noticed a sign stuck to Spock's back that read "Santa's little Helper".
*-*-*-*-*-*
"Capitan." Spock spoke up as he and Jim were playing Chess in one of the rec rooms, currently empty save for them. "May I inquire something?" He requested as he moved a pawn to take one of Jim's Rooks.
"Inquire away." He replied as he quickly made is own move and sipped at his cup of replicated hot chocolate.
He and Spock had started playing chess almost as soon as the five year mission had began as a way to get to know each other. Even when Spock was upset with his bond mate, or vise versa, they would play. It would give them a chance to work things out rather than argue, and it had done so tonight.
"What does the term… 'Cross dressing' refer to?" One of the Vulcan's brows rose as Jim chokes on his drink a little.
"W-what?" Jim asked through a heavy cough. "Where the hell did you hear that?"
Spock made his move before answering. "I overheard someone using the term while eating lunch earlier today."
Jim chuckled. "Nothing gets past those pointed ears of yours do they?" At the glare he got he gave a sheepish grin. "A cross dress is someone who wears clothes of the opposite gender. Like you or I wearing a skirt or dress, or Uhura wearing a male uniform." He explained as he moved his queen.
The intercom chimed loudly. "Lab 12 to Spock." It was Chekov. "Ve need assistance in Lab 12 again."
Spock made his move. "Checkmate." He said, catching Jim off guard. He then stood, kissing the other man on the cheek. "I will see you later in our cabin." He stated before going on his way.
It wasn't until Spock was gone that the idea came to the Capitan.
*-*-*-*-*
Spock believes the current situation was referred to as "taking something and running with it".
The current situation being his bond mate stretched out on their bed in a rather revealing red silk coat with white fur trim that ended right below the curve if his ass (He was not wearing undergarments, Spock's keen eyes noticed) and showed off his shoulders and legs. He was also wearing skin tight black leather, thigh-high, heeled boots, and a classic Santa hat the was once more perched on his head.
Jim was 'Cross Dressing'.
"Hello Spock…" He said in a sexy drawl, sitting up so the coat sleeves slipped father down his shoulders. "How's this? I sit on your lap this time and tell you what I want for Christmas."
Whatever emotional response Jim had expected to get from him (Arousal most likely), it certainly didn't. However, it would only a logical countermeasure then for him to remove the offending clothing from his T'Hy'La as soon as possible.
Logical.
Perhaps the boots can stay…
*-*-*-*-*-*-*
It was later learned that Jim was wearing underwear, more specifically… a red thong.
*-*-*-*-*-*
TWTB: I hope that did justice to that Epic Comic! Review please!