Darkness.

Did he have a reason to live anymore? Did he really?

Slowly, oh so slowly, he could feel his very existence simply being drained from him. Was it the man that lied beside him? The same man that seemingly took him in? Made him better and made sure that he was to live another day?

He didn't even know if he should feel violated anymore... His skin no longer felt as if insects crawled on it like it used to the first hundred times it had happened. His blood no longer boiled when he was touched in places he knew were now tainted. The bruises were actually pretty on his pale arms and legs, giving it color and taking away the image of a ghost that he used to present. His heart, oh his heart, well… it no longer beat. His soul, was dead. Withered into nothing, simply gone.

Or maybe it was hidden somewhere. He was in fact still breathing, still living. But was this living? Was it really?

Maybe it was but it sure didn't feel like it.

Living had been... It had been waking up everyday wondering which house he'd have to rob to find his and Luka's breakfast. Living had been sneaking around and living up to the names everybody had called him. Living had been going to sleep only after making absolute sure Luka was warm enough for the upcoming winter storms.

Had he truly gone for so long without a reason to exist?

Luka had been his reason. He had been his pushing motivator for so many things. He tried to imagine what it would have been like had he never had Luka that time. Would he feel as he felt now? Would he be here with no fight in his body? Would he lie down and take all this pervert's disgusting ministrations and not do anything about it?

The Queen's Spider was a sick old bastard to the very core. He didn't do anything for the Queen's service. All he did was use his position to his advantage. Like flies he trapped innocent children like them in his web just like he liked to trap himself in his web of lies.

Deluded.

That's what he was. Lying to himself was the only defense mechanism he now had left in his arsenal. He had no money to his name, had only a dingy jail roof over his head, and he slept in his own molester's bed. Lying... His tongue and wit was all he had now.

Even if he escaped this place where would he go? What would he do? He didn't know how to write or read. He never went to school, there just wasn't time and to him it wasn't a necessity. Not like taking care of Luka was, or at least had been.

What does he call himself now even, in his head he was Jim but to his ears he was Alois. There were two different sides to him and he couldn't be bothered to decide who he truly was. They were incredibly different. Jim was strong, but that was only because he had to be. Not for his sake but for his brother. Alois was docile, not because he truly was but because that's what was expected of the Earl Trancy's young heir.

Two personalities, both made up of lies.

He was wrapped up in them. Darkness and lies. He couldn't see ten feet ahead of him and he bumped into multiple things at a time. What was holding him back? The chains of his past? He'd shaken off those bloody attachments oh so long ago.

So what was it keeping him here?

There was nothing.

He was simply... floating. Nothing tethered him to where he was anymore, nothing keeping him stuck to the ground. There would be no moving forward or going backward for him. He didn't even have a choice. He was just hanging around... and boy did he feel stupid.

And lost.

Stupid and lost and confused.

Until the day a new set of toys was brought to the mansion. Normally he wouldn't care as he had been just like one of them. Stripped naked of his clothing, his identity, and his dignity as a person.

It had been just like everybody else's time in front of the pervert. They eyed him with curiosity, which was a given as he lounged on the man's lap, legs and thighs bare, his robe barely covering his shoulders and chest. The old man's fingers would be buried in his wispy blonde hair and he would look... healthy.

It was something that was quite foreign to the boys being presented before him as they barely managed to get scraps for supper and he knew that he was envied. Oh but if they only knew...

It's why he never pitied them, because even if he did see no reason to live anymore he wouldn't wish his fate on anyone. Even if they stared at him with horror in their eyes. Cavorting with a man? And not just any man but their captor! He was sure he made them sick.

No matter what they thought. They didn't know what he was saving them from. Some may notice over time how no one would be called to ahem, spend time with their Earl Trancy. Some who have been used to send messages around the mansion had seen him in the old man's room. Beaten, bruised, and almost defeated.

Those people understood. It was rare for a newcomer to understand his actions, but some got it, and those boys… well he protected them.

Especially him.

The old man must have noticed his interest, because the fingers in his hair had tightened to the point of being painful. Trancy jerked his head back, he followed so as not to lose any of his blonde locks and the pervert smiled at him, stroking his cheeks with his whip-roughened hands. "Do you like this one Alois? He's a pretty young thing, I so do like your taste."

At first he was disgusted, those fingers how he wanted to bite them off. That breath that washed over him, it was sickening. But he played along as he always did. This time with a motive. If it would save him... "I want him father. May I have him?"

Ash brown hair and the same shade of grey eyes.

"Of course. You never ask for anything." Trancy kissed his cheek and he fought to stay still. He giggled for the sake of it and for a second there he felt his heart beat harder, stronger.

"Thank you so much father!"

He had found a new reason to live.

Trancy's hand moved from his hair to his thigh. Idly he stroked small circles on the smooth and pale skin. "What will you name him Alois?"

He eyed the young boy in front of him. "Luka. He'll be my Luka."

And he had been happy, if you could believe it.

Luka was never taken into Trancy's bed. He always stayed in Alois' room where he would be safe, where he could remain innocent. This Luka would have been the same age as Jim's Luka had he still been alive. It was almost too perfect, if only he wasn't still haunted by the wide-eyed expression he had seen on the other Luka when he had found him dead.

It was why he decided to be Alois, because Alois' Luka wasn't dead. Alois' Luka was alive. And he would try his damned hardest to keep it that way. He made sure that Luka got everything he hadn't been able to give to the last one. Education, toys, good food whose ingredients were imported and prepared by the greatest chefs in all of England. He had spoiled him and how he had been right when he said that this was his new Luka.

It was almost like a do-over, a second chance given to him. He had been so thankful, unlike any other time he actually felt indebted to Earl Trancy.

Only he could keep Luka safe from prying hands and acidic tongues for so long.

"You forget who feeds, cloths, and takes care of you Alois. Who hires those tutors for your pet. Who keeps a roof over your head!" He spat at him with a smack to his cheek. It stung but he had learned to bear it. The words no longer hurt, he had gotten used to it. "Ungrateful little twat."

Alois took the cursing and the hitting if it would keep Luka safe. His body? What did that matter to him now? He had been tainted way before this. Purity… he didn't know what that was anymore. No wait, that's a lie. He knew what it was. It was Luka. Ignorant to the wicked ways of the world but for the short time he had lived on the streets. In one way he was still innocent. And Alois… he'd take anything, do anything, and give anything for Luka to remain that way.

He'd already lost him once, he wouldn't lose him again. He'd even make a deal with the devil himself.

"What is your wish?"

"Protect Luka at all costs until he grows up."

"That's rather long term but all right." His eye was a vivid blue, bluer than Alois'. He never thought that demon's eye could be so human. "I live to serve you."

"Good." Alois let in a breath of relief and he eyed the demon. "What's your name? Do I get to give one to you? I read about… well."

"I am not your average demon." He snapped back rather angrily. Alois took that in check, his new familiar was rather touchy. "I have a name."

Alois' eyebrow rose. "What is it then?"

"Ciel. You may call me Ciel."

AN: I don't know if you guys will believe me but this was originally supposed to be a Sebalois fic. What would happen if Alois had Sebastian for a butler instead of Claude cause to be honest with you I hate Claude for playing Alois like a pawn.

When I wrote this on my phone however I got to the bit where Alois asked for the demon's name and my fingers typed in Ciel's. I took it as a sign that Ciel was better fit for this story than Sebastian.

This is now my second ongoing Cielois fic and it's shorter than anything I've posted so far. It's only a trial chapter though so your thoughts will be appreciated :D

Nique