This is my first Narcissa/Lucius and I guess it is kind of OOC. Ok, maybe a lot. But do give it a chance and read it. Reviews are great! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. All goes to J.K Rowling.

Narcissa couldn't quite place if Lucius was just an ass or that he was doing it on purpose.

Every time he walked past her in the hallways, he would flip his long, stupid, straw-yellow hair into her face and then elbow her painfully in the ribs, all the while with a ridiculous but creepy smile. She couldn't remember what the proper term for it was called.

Right. A leer.

She remembered the time when Sirius leered at Mary McKinnon or whatever her name was when Potter was desperately trying (and failing) to woo Lily Evans. It was expected; Cousin Sirius was such a womaniser. But then Evans, being a fiery tempered, nosy little (she wouldn't continue that; it wasn't good for her mouth, to say such vile words) and loyal friend of McKinnon's, marched up to Sirius and gave him a good tongue lashing. She couldn't remember the last time she laughed so hard! The scene of a sheepish Sirius with a mud-muggleborn gesturing wildly to him while screaming at the top of her lungs was too much.

The only thing that ruined it all was that Sev was looking concerned for Evans, and not poor Sirius. It was no secret that Severus detested Sirius, but at least he could not take mud-*sigh*muggleborn's side. He even made Narcissa promise not to call the stupid witch mudblood!

But back to the pointy faced git who lacked the manners and regality of a Pureblood.

In class, he would always sit next to her to continue flipping his hair atrociously as he claimed haughtily his hair was a sleek waterfall of 'fabulous glowing platinum'. It was actually a haystack; all sticky-uppy (not true, but Narcissa had to make her comparison as similar as possible) and grossly bright yellow. And she would just shake her head at him and listen to whatever Professor Binns was saying. Something about the Revolution of Veelas. She had heard about that millions of times.

Apparently the Malfoys had Veela blood in them. But thank Merlin, Lucius certainly did not seem to possess it.

'I have Veela blood in me, you know, Narcissa?'

'Oh do you? Good for you, now shut up.'

'Narcissa,' he whined, ever so childishly, 'Why are you so mean?'

And there was almost nothing that could restrain her from abandoning all her Pureblood grace and just giving him the finger.

Luckily, Bella was still there to keep her grounded.

And at the end of the day, like now, they would sometimes find their way to the grassy grounds outside the castle, and bask in the sunshine, relaxing. It was at this time that Lucius was at the peak of his stupidity.

Today was the climax of it all; the stupidest antic of the stupidest. Lucius was a shameless idiot who was absolutely unfit to be a Pureblood.

He stole Mr Abraxas Malfoy's (his father) most prized cane, the one with the ornate snake handle and gold insets that the man was incredibly proud of, and had been carrying it around pompously all day. And now he was displaying it. Sev just gave it a single glance and ignored him, continuing to scribble in that tattered notebook (it wasn't like Sev was poor, the thing was just so... important to him), which was becoming a habit and shooting several looks towards the gang of obnoxious Gryffindors. He was… flogged? Was that how muggles said it? Oh well, she didn't have the time to spare looking for terrible muggle sayings.

'My cane looks fine indeed.'

'Lucius, it's your father's.'

'He bought me one.'

'Right.'

'I look most regal with it.'

'You look old.'

'Regal.'

'Old.'

'Benign,' Severus cut in, glaring at her and Lucius.

Lucius huffed indignantly. 'I am not benign. That term is solely reserved for the old coot Dumbles.'

'Actually, you look good with it-' she began.

'I knew you would come to appreciate my fashion sense,' he said smugly.

'-because it matches your straw-coloured hair.'

'Straw-coloured?! My hair is no such colour. It is a fabulous glowing platinum.'

'Straw-coloured.'

'Fabulous glowing platinum.'

'Straw-coloured.'

'Fabulous glowing platinum.'

'Straw-colo-'

'Shut up, the two of you! Your hair's sunshine coloured,' Sev scowled, eyeing his long locks distastefully.

'And pray tell, what colour is sunshine?'

'Whatever you interpret it to be,' replied Sev, now busy writing again, quill scratching on paper.

Lucius huffed.

'Get off your arse and go tell Evans you fancy her,' he grumbled, dissatisfied at such an answer.

Severus glared. 'Tell Narcissa you fancy her, then.'

Lucius coloured unattractively. 'I do not fancy an old hag like her,' he replied haughtily.

Affronted, Narcissa cleared her throat pointedly. 'An old hag, Lucius? Is that what I am?'

'No, you look fine in that uniform, it looks rather nice on you.'

'You forget that I'm a Black and therefore am able to see through your dastardly attempts at amending things, Lucius.'

Lucius looked suitably stumped. 'Fine. Severus, you must tell the mudblood you fancy her now that I've told Narcissa.'

'I must not do anything,' Severus replied calmly.

'So you do fancy me, Lucius?'

'No.'

'But you said so.'

'Fine. Will you do the honour of being my girlfriend?'

'Who ever said it was an honour?'

'It is the greatest honour to be the girlfriend of a Malfoy,' Lucius pronounced pompously.

'Just not you, perhaps.'

'Will you, or will you not?' he asked impatiently.

'Yes, maybe, I might. Severus, ought I do such an unwise thing?'

Severus ignored her, and Lucius' noise of outrage.

'Alright, I'm on my own. Yes, Lucius.'

'I knew I would sway your opinion of me!' he said triumphantly.

'You still have straw yellow hair.'

Lucius' face fell.

There you go! And Straw Yellow is complete. Rate and review, please! I love reviews, any! If you have constructive criticism, please do tell! Thanks! ~HPPH15