They're going to give me another frame. Another place to go. Don't really know who gave the suggestion, but I'm guessing it was Dumbledore. Nearly all the other headmasters bear a grudge against me for everything I ever did, especially for killing the best Headmaster Hogwarts has ever seen. How fair is it that the 'worst' thing that you have ever done in your life, is the one thing which is completely not your fault? Dumbledore asked me to kill him. He said please, Severus. And when I did what he told me to – when I followed his order – I became a notorious killer, a black-hearted man, and Dumbledore became an even more celebrated personality because of his tragic death. It's so not fair. I mean, come on. When all the other Headmasters snub me with their snide comments, and try to put me down, Dumbledore simply says 'Tell them the truth Severus, tell them I told you to do it.' For some reason I don't. I have a … talent for scaring people. One glare, one Snapey sneer, and people – even Headmasters – shut up. It's quite funny to watch, it's the only thing that makes staying in that room all the time (with so many haters) bearable.
At the same time, when Filch (he's stuck around quite long) had told me that 'somebody' had suggested that I get a new frame, I was surprised. 'Well, that's good for you Severus!' Dumbledore had remarked, cheerfully, as he nearly always is, 'Though I must say, I will miss your company. You'll get some…alone time. ' What he really meant was that I'd be able to escape some spiteful stares, which would've been menacing if all the starers didn't have lopsided spectacles, or flaring nostrils, or a continuously twitchy eye.
'I don't really see the need, Dumbledore.' I replied.
'What nerve you have boy! Answering back to a man who has forgiven you for murdering him!' This was Twitchy-Eye by the way. I considered giving him the Snapey stare, accompanied with just the slightest curling up of the upper lip, but I needn't have; Dumbledore answered him before I said a word. 'Normally, Magnus, people don't bear grudges (and therefore, don't need to forgive) others for something that's not their fault.'
'Oh, Albus! We know of your habit of forgiving anyone and everyone. But you needn't stuck up for this cowardly scum!' Droopy-Ears was making it perfectly clear he hated me.
'Yes Professor, you needn't be so magnanimous with your forgiveness.' Long-Moustache also declared her hatred for me. Yes…I said her.
Anger welled inside me like a potion gone wrong, how dare these deformed, ignorant, stupid, vain people -!
'Not so happy for ya now, Greasy Hair?' Droopy Ears wheezed.
Ok, this. Was. It.
'Dumbledore, I swear that I'm going to -!'
All this while, Happy Beard (yes, that's what I call Dumbledore, or I will from now on) had been smiling away, or trying not to, at any rate. 'Perhaps I should correct my statement. It's not Mr. Snape's fault, because I asked him to kill me.' Dumbledore said.
Finally, the truth!
There was a dead silence.
'But that doesn't excuse him for all the other things he's done, does it Dumbledore?' Droopy Ears said slowly. 'He still reported to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. He was still the reason James Potter and Lily Potter died.'
Dumbledore opened his mouth to say something, something we were not destined to hear, because at that very moment I'd flicked my wand at the frame across me, and instead of a dignified ex-Headmaster with long, droopy ears, I found myself staring at an elephant. Oh, I wonder how that happened.
There was a pause. The elephant trumpeted indignantly. Haha! I thought.
And then there was chaos, absolute chaos. Wands were being flicked by all the Headmasters who'd ever lived. Sleepy had even gotten up to be turned right back into a sloth! Spells were being shot here and there, ricocheting off of silver instruments and wooden frames, the room was alight with Transfiguration spells and each Headmaster kept changing form. Long-Moustache became a beetle for example. Droopy-Ears changed rapidly from an elephant to an octopus to a scorpion and then ended up as a kitten. Twitchy-Eye turned into a frog whose tongue actually shot out to catch a poor, ignorant fly.
What do the students say nowadays? That's right. LOL.
The best part of this was that between the angry/excited/randomly hyper Headmasters, a certain hated one was forgotten. Even Dumbledore hadn't been spared. He'd been turned into a fluffy sheep. And I found myself humming 'Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb/Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow … '
And then the kitten roared. Really, I didn't know such a small, innocent cat could let out such a gigantic noise. The animals stopped at once. A hen tried to imitate the kitten and ended up clucking loudly, walking around a little confused in its frame. And then it stopped as well. The kitten looked at me. 'Mew-mew-mew-mew-mew!' It declared. It's tailed curled around something, and then before I knew it I'd shrunk. And I had a sudden urge to look for acorns.
The animals around me started up – ribbeting, meowing, barking, clucking, and roaring. A toad even burped. That's when I understood, they were laughing at me. I also wondered if they were hiding some acorns from me. Those mean idiots.
'It's alright now, Severus. Just give me a second.' Dumbledore was back, as a human, I mean. He took out a wand. Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! He was going to give me another three limbs, or a shower of nuts … hey, that wouldn't be so bad.
Filch walked in. He looked at me. And yelped. Apparently cruel, irritating Filch didn't like squirrels. This might be fun, after all.. 'Er…Professor, your frame's ready.' He said. And then, before I could do anything, Dumbledore flicked his wand and I was back. 'Oh thank Go-'
The others were staring at me. They weren't happy. The kitten raised its wand again, and I took one look and I fled.
New frame, here I come.