Hi, this is the first multi-chapter fic I'm posting, and I would appreciate your support through it. It will not be Edward/Bella, only E/B friendship. Please review. Hope you enjoy. Maddison

Rated M for cutting (dark themes), to be safe.

I don't own Twilight, or any of it's characters, they all belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Edward POV

I sighed, watching the blood trickle down my arms, before wiping it away forlornly. What did it matter, anyway? I could just end it now, it would be better for everyone that way. To be honest, I was surprised that no-one had noticed yet, particularly Carlisle, he is a doctor, after all. And Bella, who is so observant, even though you wouldn't know it with her being so quiet.

But then again, they were all just seeing what I wanted them to see, mostly. Bella only ever wanted to see the best in people, never believing anyone could be less than gentle with themselves, and Carlisle, well, I don't really know what Carlisle thought. Esme was a lot like Bella, only a lot more motherly, and worried a lot more. It wasn't as if my adoptive family thought I was a happy-go-lucky teen, or anything. They knew me better than that, at least.

I had come to live with Carlisle, Esme, and Bella when I was nine, eight years ago, after being in the foster care system for a year. I was lucky, getting adopted into a good home, with caring, loving parents, and a friendly sister, not everyone was that lucky. It was only in the past five years that I had begun to wish someone else was lucky, instead of me, so I could stop being a burden to such lovely people.

They knew nothing about my past, only that both my parents were dead, and I had come into the system with next to no possessions. I don't know what drove me to cut, only that I could never stop, and the feeling of it was like no other. I didn't want to stop. That's why I told no-one. They would all think I'm crazy, and try to make me stop. If I stopped I would die.

Maybe tomorrow would be the day; the day I finally had the courage to kill myself. I had it all planned out, once I found the courage there would be no way of stopping me. Maybe, hopefully, tomorrow.

I woke up as I did every day, unwilling to continue on with life. I was in so deep that normally I had no will to do anything, and just did what I did do because it was expected of me. I felt numb, inside and out, the only thing that could take away that numbness was one of my blades. I didn't feel tired, but I didn't feel awake, either. I wasn't truly alive, I was just... existing. I was never hungry, I only ever ate at dinner, to stop Carlisle and Esme from worrying too much, and even then I didn't eat that much. It wasn't that I was worried about my weight, or how I looked or anything, I just wasn't hungry. Breakfast and lunch were easy to get out of, just saying I'd pick something up on the way to school, then saying I'd had a big breakfast. I wasn't worried about it, why eat if you are not hungry, and eating just makes you feel as though you're so full you're going to be sick?

I knew the Cullen's were worried about me, but I couldn't bring myself to really care. They just thought I was quiet by nature, and had never fully got over the death of my parents. That was true, in a way, I had always been quiet, and my parents had been wonderful people, they didn't deserve to die, they were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, getting hit by a drunk driver on the way back from one of their nights out. I was told they would have died instantly. I didn't have some sob story about why I hated life, and cut, it was just something I did.

I dressed quickly, in my normal dark wash jeans, Cons, and a dark long sleeved shirt, grabbing a similarly coloured jumper before heading downstairs and grabbing my school bag. I muttered a quick goodbye to Carlisle and Esme before grabbing my car keys, and leaving. Bella and I each had our own cars; Bella owned a blue car of some foreign brand, very cute and girly, while mine was a black, second hand (I refused to let Carlisle get me a new, good quality car when there was no telling how much longer I'd be here for, not that he knew that as my reasoning) Holden. I got some strange looks about it once everyone saw Bella's car, but I don't really care what anyone thinks.

It was only about a ten minute drive to get to school, and it passed very quickly and uneventfully. I got to school about five minutes before the bell, just enough time to get to my locker and then my roll call room. I tugged my sleeves down before stepping out of my car, I can only imagine someone's reaction if they saw me without a top on, and saw all the cuts and scars littering my arms, chest and abdomen. With Forks High lousy population of less than 800, it would be around the school in a day.

First three periods, English, History and Biology passed in a blur, nothing exciting happening, and nothing registering in my head. There were still four periods left, but I decided to skip. What did it matter, anyways, it's not as though I would be around for long enough to have any need of any of the stuff they try to teach anyway.

What do you think? Should I continue?

Thanks