Title: Clarity

Author: HandsThatHeal

Pairing: Callie/Arizona

Rating: M/NC-17 (For Future Chapters)

Summary: Three years after the plane crash, Callie and Arizona have reconciled their differences and are now the happiest they've even been. With their relationship now stronger than ever, will the necessary presence of a face from the past tear them apart? Will their marriage stand up to life's latest tragedy or will they find that they are in the exact same position they were years before?

Disclaimer: All television shows, books, movies, songs, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work and the characters, events, and settings thereof are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

AN: The first chapter of this story was originally posted to this site a little over a year ago on the premiere date of Season 10 of Grey's Anatomy. Since that time, this story was completed with a sequel entitled Perfectly Imperfect also partially written. I recently took down all of my stories, but have now decided to re-post this story, along with Perfectly Imperfect so it can be completed. My current plan is to post a chapter a day for this story, followed by Perfectly Imperfect until I am caught up to where Perfectly Imperfect ended. I will then post an ALL NEW chapter of Perfectly Imperfect, and just go from there until that story is finished.

Clarity is essentially Canon until around episode 10x03 or 10x04, and in this universe, Arizona did not have a miscarriage, nor did she sleep with Leah. I really hope all of this makes sense and, for those of you who haven't already read this story, I hope you enjoy it. For those of you who have read it, thank you so much for all your interest in the stories I write. I also have another NEW FIC in the works that should be posted soon, as well.

Chapter One

(Callie's POV)

Clarity is. . .a decision. It isn't a matter of luck, but something we create for ourselves. It's not something that arrives from the outside in, but instead from the darkest recesses deep down in our souls. Clarity is what we create for ourselves even in the darkest of times.

Even in times of betrayal.

They say everyone suffers at least one great betrayal in their lifetime. We've all seen it; betrayal comes in many forms. We read about it in books and watch it unfold on television and in the movies; businessmen out to make that almighty dollar or scheming politicians striving to become the next world leader. Best friends being thrown under the bus for another's personal gain, cheating husbands and wives falling into bed with someone else for reasons we will never in our lives be able to comprehend.

We've all suffered through this. Every single one of us has been betrayed by someone outside ourselves; someone has hurt us or been dishonest with us. Someone has broken a promise made and, the more we trust, the greater the betrayal. The more we love, the greater the pain. It hurts to breathe. It hurts to live. We hate the person who has done this to us, but yet, sometimes. . .we simply cannot exist without them.

So, we put up walls. We lash out even when we shouldn't. We do anything and everything we can to mask the heartbreak and despair we are feeling, because the worst pain in the world goes way beyond the physical. It's an emotional, deeply seated, all-consuming pain that we feel from the tips of our toes to the tops of our heads. It hurts to the point that we can't even hold ourselves upright, because. . .we aren't bulletproof. We aren't made of steel, and our fragile human hearts were made to be broken.

It's a miserable existence; a relentless state of being that we're sure will never end, but at some point in time, we are forced to make a choice.

Do we stop living?

Do we bury our heads in the ground and forever shy away from the comfort of human contact and affection, or do we stand tall and decide to get back out there?

It's a humbling and heart wrenching decision to make, but eventually, some of us decide. . .to be brave. To fight. To come out of this great betrayal better people than we ever were before. We decide to proceed with clarity, because. . .it makes us stronger.

It takes a greater strength of character to rebuild a marriage than to just give up and quit and, that alone, is something to be proud of. It's not for the weak or faint of heart but, in the end, my wife and I realized there were greater rewards in staying together than there were in giving up, because this wasn't how we were supposed to end. There were just too many more chapters of our story left to write.

This reconciliation was certainly no easy task. We slipped. We faltered. We lost. We broke. We healed.

And eventually, we chose. . .to love. Because love comes to those who still hope, even in the face of disappointment.

Love belongs to those who still choose to do it, even when we've been hurt before.

(Flashback)

"Okay, Sofia," Arizona said as she handed the four-year-old a red rose from the bouquet she held in her hand. "You know what you've got to do, right?"

The miniature Latina scrunched her face in consternation as she huffed at her mother. "Of course, momma. We've been practicing this. . .all. . .day. . .long," she stated as she made her way to the front door of the apartment.

Arizona shook her head as she watched her daughter make her way to her destination, admiring the tenacity of the little girl she loved so much. Sofia was one hundred percent Calliope Torres' daughter in looks and in the inflection of her voice, but the blonde took great pleasure in the fact that her actions and mannerisms were totally mirrored after her own.

Hearing the key turn in the lock, Arizona glanced up from the little girl's back, watching as the door swung open to reveal the object of her affection who now stood casually flicking her thumb across the touchpad of her phone as she attentively read something on the screen.

"Welcome home, Mami. We missed you today," Sofia piped up as she tugged on the bottom of Callie's leather jacket.

Dragging her attention away from her phone and toward the beautiful child standing with a rose held out for her, the elder Latina smiled as she crouched down to her daughter's level. "Why thank you, mija. I missed you today, too," she said as she kissed Sofia's irresistibly chubby cheek. "What's this for?" she asked as she took the proffered flower, dipping her nose into the top of the rose to eagerly inhale its scent.

As practiced, Sofia didn't allow her mother to linger, diligently taking her hand to lead her further into the living room.

For the first time since she entered the apartment, Callie looked around as Sofia led her across the room, finally spotting Arizona who stood near the fireplace with the remaining eleven roses from the dozen she and Sofia had purchased earlier that day. Upon closer inspection, Callie found the coffee table surrounded by several fluffy pillows where a dinner of pizza, salad, beer, and milk lay waiting.

With her eyes now locked with the beautiful cerulean pools she constantly found herself drowning in, a lopsided grin tugged at Callie's lips as she took in the sight; the dimpled grin on Arizona's face causing her heart to melt as she watched her step closer to her and reach out to take her free hand into her own. "These are for you," the blonde stated, offering Callie the remainder of the roses before gently brushing her lips against a tanned cheek.

Callie closed her eyes, reveling in the sensation of the smooth lips caressing her face and, turning her head to properly return the kiss, she pouted when she was intercepted by both Arizona and Sofia as they together managed to remove her leather jacket and bags from her shoulders.

The vase of all twelve roses now sat in the middle of the coffee table as a beautiful centerpiece for their makeshift dining area and with a slight smirk on her face, Callie allowed Sofia to guide her to her seat on the floor.

Once they were all three settled onto the pillows, Callie suspiciously glanced between her wife and daughter, noticing for the first time that evening that their hair was styled identically, two perfect French braids winding down the back of each of their heads.

"Well, this is nice," the brunette said, kissing the little girl's temple before doing the same to Arizona. "But why do I feel like the two of you are up to something?"

Arizona and Sofia both assumed the same innocent look as the blonde served each of them a slice of pizza.

"We aren't up to anything, Mami," Sofia stated, pulling a piece of pepperoni from her piece of pizza and stuffing it into her mouth. "We just love you and have something very important we would like to discuss with you," the little girl matter-of-factly continued before loudly sipping her milk through a straw.

"She gets that from you, you know," Callie stated with a roll of her eyes before taking a drink from her chilled bottle of beer.

Arizona only shrugged, smiling brightly as she sunk her teeth into a slice of vegetable supreme pizza. Taking a sip of beer, she then closed her eyes, enjoying the pairing of pizza and amber ale.

Callie questioningly watched her wife. The other woman was definitely up to something, that much was for sure but, as she continued to study her as she ate, she couldn't help but stare; Arizona had always been one of those people who made anything and everything she ate or drank look amazing.

"So, are either of you going to fill me in on this important thing we need to discuss?" the brunette soon asked after witnessing her wife thoroughly enjoy another bite.

Sofia looked toward Arizona and, upon receiving a nod from her mother, she stood from her seat, animatedly moving her hands as she spoke. "Momma and I have been thinking. . ." she enthusiastically began, trailing off to once again look toward the blonde for encouragement.

"Uh-huh?" Callie skeptically urged as she glanced between Frick and Frack who clearly had this little routine extremely well planned and flawlessly rehearsed.

"We're going to be moving soon, and our new house is really 'ginormous'!" Sofia excitedly continued, stretching out her arms to her full wingspan to illustrate her point.

"It is," the brunette confirmed with a nod of her head.

Sofia once again glanced toward the blonde who smiled lovingly before pulling the little girl to sit on her lap. "Keep going, big girl. You're doing great," Arizona insisted as she wrapped her arms around her daughter to hold her close.

The child leaned back against Arizona's chest, a smile that was identical to Callie's lighting her face. "So, momma and I definitely think it's way too 'huger' for just the three of us."

"Huge, mija. Not 'huger'," Callie gently corrected, reaching out to brush raven bangs back from her daughter's cherubic face. Then taking a sip from her bottle of beer, she then shrugged. "So what do you want, sweetie? A kitten? Maybe a puppy? Did your momma put you up to asking for chickens? Again?"

Arizona looked down at Sofia who stared up at her with a toothy super magic smile before turning her attention toward her genuinely confused wife. "No, Calliope. Not a kitten. Or a dog. And no chickens. Not yet, at least," she honestly replied before clearing her throat.

Callie's eyes narrowed in confusion, her lips pursing in question as she tried to anticipate what exactly the two were getting at.

"We don't want any pets, Calliope, but what we do want, what I want, more than anything is. . .another baby."

(Arizona's POV)

It's not easy to forgive and forget when someone breaks our trust. The reality is, it takes time and effort to be able to restore trust, especially when we've been betrayed by the person we love most in the world.

It takes courage to acknowledge how we feel and once we've done that, willingness from the other person to hear and honor it. It takes a mutual commitment to move beyond what happened, otherwise we are destined for failure, destined to relive that horrible, life changing moment over and over again.

It's important to realize we can't shove the act - no matter what it may have been - away in a vault and lock it up. Regaining trust takes determination. It takes patience. A lot of courage and inner strength. It takes time for both the betrayed and the betrayer to heal, to regain balance, and to find the clarity necessary in a world that has become nothing more than a fog, a haze of confusion, uncertainty, and despair.

I remember the moment that happened for me. The moment everything became so clear, the very second I decided to find the clarity I had so desperately been missing in my marriage and in my family.

In the blink of an eye, I realized I needed help; we both needed help. I knew without a doubt we couldn't make it alone. We needed guidance in a world where we'd lost our way and, when we both decided to lean into that truth, we began to really work together for the first time in far too long.

Making the decision to stay together and remain in our marriage was a huge step and a choice that was not taken lightly. At times, staying together seemed like the only thing we could possibly choose to do, but then, on other days, it became too difficult and too painful to bear.

We needed to forgive, but not to forget. We needed to be strong for ourselves and for each other. We needed to understand and free ourselves of all the hurt and all the pain we'd caused one another, and I can honestly say it was the hardest thing either of us has ever had to endure.

But. . .we did it. For ourselves. For our little girl. For all the hopes and all dreams we still shared.

We didn't rush.

We needed time and distance, the space necessary for both of us to heal. We had to find out who we were in a world that was so drastically different, because our lives were forever changed. We needed to reconnect with our own selves on the most basic fundamental level in order to determine if we were willing to reconnect with each other and, in the end, we came out better for it. We learned to speak honestly with each other without fear of recourse. To live and to love and to work together.

In rebuilding our marriage, we reminisced; we remembered the strengths we had in our relationship and why we chose to be together in the first place while also falling in love all over again with our new and improved selves. We became recommitted, reconnected, and when that happened, when we found clarity. . .everything else just fell into place.

(Present Day)

Callie had known her wife for more than six years and been married to her for over four. She'd seen her ecstatically happy and terribly sad. She'd seen her hurt beyond measure and furious beyond compare, but the look she saw on Arizona's face when her foggy brain drifted from the blackness of unconsciousness into the sterile white light of a hospital room, was something she had no words to even attempt to describe.

Watching as Callie slowly came to, Arizona glanced down at the ashen face that usually reflected the most brilliant caramel complexion, her own normally bright blue eyes, dark and sullen. "Hey," she softly called as she took her confused wife's hand into her own.

Callie scrunched her face, blinking her eyes several times, trying to gather herself enough to make words and, when her befuddled mind finally cleared enough for her to realize she was lying in a hospital bed with machines beeping above her head, her eyes immediately snapped open, her hands shooting out to caress and pat at her abdomen.

Feeling that it was flatter than it should be at eight months pregnant, she anxiously looked to her wife for answers.

"She's okay, Calliope. Our little girl is okay," Arizona stated, grasping one of Callie's trembling hands as she leaned both elbows on the edge of the mattress.

Tears immediately sprung to Callie's eyes before dripping down the sides of her face. She strongly clutched Arizona's hand, sensing from the dread she saw on her every feature that she was desperately going to need it for support. "But?" she asked, her tone hoarse and her throat burning with the effort of voicing such a simple word.

Arizona cleared her throat, her troubled blue eyes glancing around the room before once again landing on her wife's overwrought face. "She. . ." Arizona trailed off, her chest rising with a deep breath before she blew it out through her nose. "You were umm. . .preeclamptic. I, uh. . .Sofia and I came home, and I. . .found you on the bedroom floor. It was. . ." she once again hesitated; she was wholly unable to finish her statement as the tears that had been brimming in her eyes finally spilled forth and dripped from her cheeks to land on Callie's arm.

Callie closed her eyes, desperately trying to remember anything involving what Arizona had just said though, at this point in time, she was drawing a complete blank.

Finding only a molecule of resolve, Arizona wiped at her cheeks, desperately trying to gather herself. "So, we had to take her by emergency cesarean. Addison couldn't get here in time, so I made Alex and Bailey do it. I. . .she's okay, Callie. She's strong. Four pounds, eight ounces of strong."

Arizona flinched at her own words; this entire situation was far too familiar and, the feelings and emotions she had experienced during Sofia's untimely birth combined with the events of the day quickly came flooding back, completely overwhelming her. "She has brown eyes and beautiful black hair, Calliope. So much like Sofia. She's jaundice, but that should clear. Lungs are weak, but that's to be expected for a baby born at thirty-four weeks. We administered steroids. She's going to have to stay in the NICU."

Callie could tell her wife wasn't giving her all the information and, as she stared into Arizona's hardening eyes, she felt herself become more and more frightened. She could tell her wife was beginning to shut down, the words she was saying sounding more and more like those of a doctor than a woman who had just become a mother for the second time.

The brunette momentarily watched Arizona breathe deeply and divert her gaze before reaching out with an unsteady hand to lay it against an ivory cheek, turning a blonde head slightly so her wife was forced to look in her direction. "I need you to be honest with me, Arizona. Please. I need you to tell me what's wrong with Olivia."

(Arizona's POV)

Every parent has a vision of their child before we actually get to meet them. Usually it's a bouncing baby boy or girl who is happy and healthy, a smiling and laughing little bundle of joy that brings happiness to the hearts and souls of everyone around them.

No parent ever wants to envision that the worst will happen, that our child will be born with defects or abnormalities that could forever alter their path through life. But, when that does happen, we are forced to make a choice. Because being a parent is so much more than just becoming one. . .

(Callie's POV)

It's an endless journey, not just a destination, and we quickly realize what we are willing to do for this new human life is. . .immeasurable.

We've been given this other person to mold and to love, and it's the scariest thing we will ever have to face because when they hurt, we do, too. But, we are also given the incredible opportunity of sharing in their happiness, their excitement and their fears, sharing in the most amazing moments, but also in the very worst.

So, what are we to do when the pretty pink bubble of babies and joy and happiness we've been floating in. . .pops? How should we react when that little bundle of joy is born differently than we could ever have imagined? What do we do? How do we move past the feelings of guilt and fear, jealousy and despair?

For a brief moment, we can fight it; we can run, and we can hide. We can pretend it doesn't exist but, once we're able to see past our initial confusion and denial, we once again have to make a choice.

We have to push through for the love of that child and do anything and everything in our power to make sure she is going to be okay. . .

(Arizona's POV)

We have to be more selfless than we've ever been, perhaps even at the cost of everything we've painstakingly worked to achieve.

There is no thinking or hesitation. No worrying what the backlash may be, as long as our child is given every possible opportunity to live an abundantly happy life. As a parent, we don't question any negative recourse as long as we're able to make all of our child's pain and all of their heartache go away.

We simply have to look past all the repercussions in order to find the way. We have to fight against the tragedy in order to find the remedy.

We have to find our way through the obscurity of darkness to find clarity in the light. . .

(Shared POV)

And hope like hell that our past mistakes can hurt us no more. . .