Belledonner: hello, another fic that came to me in a dream...or more likely whilst reading another fic and deciding it would be so much cooler if it actually happened this way...and this happened.
I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it, hopefully it will be quite epic, humorous, exiting and possibly a little kinky.
R&R for cookies!
XXX Belle.
DISCLAIMER: they own the neighborhood, I just rent the house, host wicked parties, match make the neighbors and do the dirty laundry.
Chapter one.
Black Blood Boy?
The Black's needed a hire.
They already had two two females on her sisters side, and at this stage any hope was dim. So when Mrs Black fell pregnant, she decided to have a boy; the hire the Black's needed.
They had wealth, reputation, status, influence,and excellent breeding that went back to the first grace of magic. But without a proper heir to carry on the line, well everything past generations had worked for would fall useless by the way side.
Now this decision on the baby's gender would seem pointless to most, but most were not Black's.
When Sirius was born, everyone agreed he was a very pretty boy; everything they wanted.
And not the least bit coincidental.
Nobody noticed anything amiss before fifth year, when Sirius didn't go home for summer.
***
There is nothing extraordinary about tea, both magical or muggle. Its what you put in the tea. Whether it be sugar, crack or something else...
"Ah, nothing like tea that tastes nothing like home!" Sirius crowed, tipping the last dregs down the back of his throat, "what brew is this anyway?"
"Thrickest's finest black brew, dear." replies James' mum as she swept past, bundle of laundry in one hand, book pressed to her nose in the other while she squinted through her glasses, slowly fogging up.
"Well, same brand as back home." he pondered absently as he set the cup down on the table and watched the tiny woman wonder around a stack of cloths and circling deftly around what may or may not have been a giant bundle of blankets that had presumably devoured James when Sirius had prodded him off the bed. "Maybe the difference is its made without all the loathing and 'good' inbreeding they've been feeding me since I was an 'ickle monster. Or perhaps not, just tastes a little less tangy, no licorice aftertaste."
"Of course Sirius dear," she said while picking up a dirty shit from the ground with her toes and flicking it up onto the pile on her arm, all the while reading.
"Your not actually listening anymore, are you?"
"Of course Sirius dear."
"In that case I would like a chocolate pie for lunch, followed by something delicious and possibly illegal."
"you will eat what I serve, Sirius dear."
"Yes ma'am."
***
Thoughts are supposed to stay private, especially when your not sure why you thought them...
The train ride was a mess, first years darting back and forth, looking adoringly at him as he passed.
I could probably get them to spit clean my shoes if I wished. He thought as he passed a fifth year (Mary...Madeline... Marilyn? Macy?) who almost swooned in his wake, gazing at him with glazed eyes and looking rather unfortunately like I demented cow with a lobotomy.
But she dose have pretty hair, like looping curls of satin... I wonder how she gets her hair that shiny... he raised his hand to ruffle his hair, a Sirius Black Trademark Habit, instead he ran his fingers through to flatten it out subconsciously.
Odd.
He arrived at his seats, scowling as he noticed that James wasn't the only one who had changed over the summer; Remus had shot up, leaner and taller now by almost a head an shoulders, his skinny wrists jutting out from beneath a jumper that had been to big the year before; Peter had lost all the puppy fat of childhood and had even, dare he think it, bulked up and grown a bit. Though the latter much more than the first; and James, as Sirius had noticed during the holidays, had bulked up, muscles had sprung out of nowhere, even if he hadn't caught up to peter or Remus in hight just yet.
And Sirius... was the same. He hadn't grown, no plains of muscle had appeared, his angular cheek bones and jaw still looked of a feminine boy. Dark hair longer and curing slightly, silver eyes still huge in his face.
Sixth year and he still hadn't come across the puberty signals like everyone else. He was on the verge of panicking.
And though all this he couldn't help noticing that the new hight on Remus was somehow appealing... NO! I mean Renee, she sure as hell shot up over the holidays, good old Renee...
***
Its natural to grow out of old cloths, its just not quite right when you grow out of them not because of hight or weight...
This shirt fit him perfectly last time, he knew it.
He hadn't grown, gained, lost weight or developed muscles. It seemed almost as if his shoulders had narrowed slightly, making the light fabric of the shirt hang awkwardly off his narrow body.
His pants were the same, but different. They clinched way too tightly ah his hips and thighs and stretched slightly around an ass he swore had been smaller.
He wasn't too unhappy about that part though.
***
Everyone has different taste in food, just because you don't eat it doesn't make it inedible, just repulsive...
Remus: bowl of oatmeal sprinkled with honey and sugar, with fruit chunks and a glass of pumpkin juice.
James: bacon, eggs and numerous sauces stacked on a toppling toast sandwich. Glass of pumpkin juice placed carefully out of harms way by Remus J Lupin.
Peter: four slices of toast with a mystery spread he swore by, everyone else thought disgusting and the elves whispered it called 'Vegemite'. Goblet of water by his side.
Sirius: bacon with maple syrup piled on runny eggs, balanced on a waffle soaked with honey and sugar, marmalade, cherry and strawberry jam dripping from every surface of the monstrosity of glucose, cavity producing, apparently edible substance.
Even if his usual breakfast consisted of porridge drowned in honey and bacon on toast.
He was looking forward to desert, but nobody else was.
***
Mood swings are a part of every teenagers life, but when its gets to extreme remember; there are pills you can take...
"No."
"Whats you problem?"
"I am not having a problem, your just irritating me."
"Have a winge. Look, mate, your not even reading it!"
"DOSE IT LOOK LIKE I CARE!? I SAID NO! WHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?!"
"Um..."
"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU OBNOXTIOUS PIG HEADED WANKER."
"..."
"James...go...AWAY!"
"Are you sure I cant just borrow it for a little-"
"GGNAGH!"
"OW! Fuck Sirius! Get of me you crazy prat! Yowwww!"
(across the dormitory, huddled on peters bed in fear of the raging Black.)
"You know, if I didn't know any better I would say he is PMS-ing. I mean he was perfectly fine this morning."
"Sirius Black is always PMS-ing, peter, always. He has a inappropriate mood for every occasion, and pre-prepared rants."
"Never noticed, has he always been this bad?"
"Like I said, continual PMS."
"I don't envy james one iota. Ohh, thats gonna bruise."
***
Paranoia: I am not paranoid, but just cautious. Paranoid people are following me, I have to watch out...
"look! LOOK! Yes I see you, you evil little kiniving beastie! Look Marauders, I have caught the beastie red handed." Sirius crowed, holding the ear of a house elf at arms distance.
"What did it do this time?" Remus sighed, Sirius seemed to be having paranoia attacks lately, James just claimed it was Sirius' inherited madness beginning to take hold and Remus was inclined to agree after that incident with the first year who 'Touched My FORK' and a meat cleaver.
"Trying to put something in my drink it was!"
"I am sure it was, padfoot, now why don't we all relax and you can loosen you hold on that poor elf's ear, its starting to turn orange"
***
These were the first signs of the apocalypse that would render Sirius' life.
Unfortunately they weren't the last, or the least strange, forceful or just plain repulsive.