Arthur Knapp-shappey - interrogation specialist
AN: I wrote this, I hope everyone's in charecter and I hope you enjoy!
"Mum, there's a Pirate! In the cabin! With an eye-patch and a great coat and an american accent and everything. In our cabin!"
"What does he want?" Caroyln sighed.
"He wants me to use my learning-to-understand-people skills to talk to people. As a proper job, not just for fun!"
"What!"
"I know; it's brilliant!"
"So, to get this clear, you want to employ my son, a man for whom half-wit is a kind exaggeration and who often falls over when he lies to work in an interrogation department in some hair-brained covert organisation who's name makes MJN sound like the pinnacle of professionalism and ability."
"Yes." the man stared back at Carolyn seemingly unaffected by the sarcasm and disbelief in her voice.
"Do I wish to know why? No, thinking about it, probably not. Fine. You want him and he seems enthusiastic about it, even more so than usual. But I will negotiate his pay and working hours. I will not let my son accept a year's supply of toblerones."
"Hi chaps! This is Mr-"
"Classified."
"Really because I thought your name was-"
"Arthur, Classified."
"What do you mean classified- Oh. Oh! Classified! Right." He attempted to wink, an action that caused the observers to flinch. "Well, this is Skip and Douglas. This is Mr... Classified. He's kind of a bit my boss. I mean, I suppose Mum is my boss too but she hasn't got an eye-patch or a parrot... We should all get eye-patches!"
"What do you mean? Why is he your boss?" Martin questioned confusedly.
"Well, remember that I went on that understanding-people course in-"
"In Ipswich, yes I do."
"Well it turns out that in some ways I'm actually quite good at talking to people or sometimes at them, they're really surprised when I do that. So I talk to them and they talk to me and Mr Classified uses that to help other people. Apparently I'm quite good at being a person that people don't mind talking with! And sometimes if the doctors think some people need it I talk to other workers too. It's actually quite fun."