A/N: For the sake of everyone's sanity, the only chapter that includes a sex scene is chapter 9 and it's not even that graphic. If you're here for the smut, please skip to or wait for chapter 9.

Cold. Everything feels cold. Everything started feeling cold five years ago when I killed Ken's mother and started taking those damn pills. Pills that could suppress my persona, and pills that would eventually kill me. I've felt cold ever since, except for a few short months when she was with me.

Everything changed with her. I did, Akihiko did, the damn dog did. Everything.

I guess I should explain. It's the same old story. Two dumb teenagers fall in love. One of them dies. The other one spends a lifetime missing them. The end. No happy ending. No moving on. I guess it's not the same old story, huh?

Still, I'm glad I met her.

May 1

Akihiko had injured his damn ribs fighting a shadow. It was bound to happen. They were dangerous and he knew that. He knew the risks when he joined SEES, but the guy was stupid. Brothers pissed you off for being stupid.

He'd asked me to sign his papers so he could leave. When I got to the hospital, he was nowhere to be found. The man could break his ribs and then disappears into thin air like it was nothing, but I'm thankful for him disappearing that day. It was the day I first saw her.

Minako Arisato.

She showed up with Iori and Takeba. Two other juniors who were in SEES. It was the name of our little crime-fighting group. There were trying to find Aki but found me instead. They weren't happy about it. Iori was probably scared out of his mind. Takeba looked calm, but she was hiding behind Minako. She wouldn't admit it if you asked her though.

Minako was the first girl I ever loved. She was also a pain in the ass. I didn't know either of those things when I first looked at her. The only thing I really noticed was that she was short. I towered over her, even while hunching over.

"You..." I was going to tell her off for just being short, but she had this calm little smile on her face, like nothing I could say to her would phase her. That little smile would piss me off for a long time. Even now, I see it in my dreams.

"Never mind." I walked past them without a backwards glance. Iori jumped out of my way.

"Wh-Who was that?" Iori asked quietly when he thought I was out of the earshot. He thought wrong.

I'm Aragaki Shinjiro, and this was just the beginning.

June 6

The second time I saw her was in an alley behind Port Station. Kinky, I know.

A girl was missing from her school, Fuuka Yamagishi. She would eventually join SEES and be another pain in my ass, but a different kind. The kind that I didn't like as much.

A lot of shit had been happening at the time. A bunch of girls would go missing for a day or two and wind up in front of the school in the morning like one of the Lost. They had "apathy syndrome". It was a fancy name for people who been attacked by shadows and had given up the will to live, but that's a story for another time.

She was with Iori and Takeba again. They had decided the best spot to investigate missing girls was the shady alleyway behind a train station. I found out later that this dumb idea was Takeba's. No surprise. She seemed like the type who didn't understand danger until it was breathing down her neck. Honestly, I blamed Iori though. Who the hell brings two girls to an alleyway to pick a fight and get information? Granted, one of those girls was Minako, but even she wouldn't be able to beat down 5 people.

Actually, I take that back. She probably could do it if she was fully armed. Anyway, they were surrounded by the usual punks who hung around dark alleyways, and they weren't getting the information they wanted.

"Come on, don't be intimidated by these scum." Takeba was acting tough, but she was once again standing behind Minako.

One of the punks leaned in really close over Minako's shoulder. If I didn't know better, I'd have thought he was going to kiss her. She didn't even flinch.

"What was that?" He shouted next to her ear.

"She just called us scum." Another one laughed as they continued the charade. A couple more insults were thrown for laughs, but then it got physical. One of them punched Iori hard in the stomach.

"That's enough. They didn't know what they were getting into. I'll make sure they leave. Alright?" I had to step in. I couldn't help it. I wasn't going to let two girls and a helpless junior get trashed.

"Who do you think you are, dumbass? You want some too?" The punk swung at me in the middle of that sentence but I didn't bother dodging. I head-butted him directly on the nose, probably breaking it. Definitely stunning him. Critical hit. He flew a few feet and landed on his ass.

His friends looked shocked, but they still had to pretend to be tough. "You just crossed the line. You think you're going home alive?"

I turned to him, narrowing my eyes, "Wanna give it a try?" He did not. They ran off after some more trash talking, but it was mostly macho-bullshit.

After the punks left, Takeba and Iori started asking me questions, grilling me really. I told them what they wanted to know. Aki had a hero complex. After his sister died, he had a penchant for protecting weak girls. Telling the three of them what they wanted to know meant the same thing as telling him. It would save me a lot of trouble down the line.

"That's all I know." Two out of the three of them look worried. Can you guess which one didn't? Yup. She looked like she was waiting for something. But more than that, she looked... "Satisfied?"

"Thank you for saving us."

It was the only thing she'd said that night and it was a lie. She didn't need saving. She hadn't even been scared. She had said it in a sly way, with a pretty little smile just sitting on her lips. She was a demon and an angel dancing to the tune of a cheeky smile.

"...Don't come around here again."

September 2

Akihiko wouldn't leave me alone. He'd come bother me once every one of two months telling me to go back to SEES. He'd tell me about their adventures and how well they were doing like it would phase me. It hadn't. Until the day he brought her with him.

It was the third time and final time before I lost count at Hagakure Ramen. It was the first time I'd seen her without a smile on her face. Akihiko had invited me with the promise of a free bowl. I love that Ramen place. Not going to lie, I only met up with him that day because I was running low on cash and food. I was just going to listen to his speech, eat the noodles and leave. That didn't happen.

He walked in with a briefcase, my briefcase. That's what really did it. The moment he walked into that noodle place with her, he already knew I would join the team.

"The situation has changed. I'm sorry, but this time, I'm not asking." Aki, the conceited prick. "This belongs to you. We have a new enemy, persona-users like us. There's more. Ken Amada has joined our team."

I was pissed off. I was beyond pissed off. Ken Amada. He was just a kid. He was going to fight monsters, shadows that could eat a person whole. The kid who I had made mother-less had now joined the mission that I'd deserted. The very mission that had gotten his mother killed. The world was a fucked up place.

I was in it for the long haul. I didn't want to be.

Minako was standing behind Aki. Their leader. A tiny girl who wielded a giant nagatina. I'd seen her three times now, and all three times, she had dug out this raw curiosity in me. She had no reason to be there with them. She had no reason to put her life on the line and fight. I needed to know. "If you don't mind me asking, what exactly are you fighting for?"

She didn't answer right away. Maybe she didn't know the answer at the time. "For my own sake." Her little smile had returned, as if her answer was a best-kept secret and only she knew. She blinked twice, her ruby eyes peering up at me with nothing but unmasked confidence.

"Is that so? Well, you do your thing; I'll do mine." She was tough. I could see it from the way she acted. But she was still just a girl. I would need to protect her. I wouldn't be able to when it mattered.

A/N: FeMC is generally characterized as this airheaded girly girl and I hate it. All the characters call her a tomboy who isn't scared of anything. She's not weak, she's not shy. She's someone who hides all her pain behind her masks. She is everything someone needs and possesses nothing of her own. This story isn't really about her though.