Contemplating
Luna
I walked along the corridors of the school, thinking. I walked anywhere and everywhere, unaware of my surroundings. Why are people so mean to me? I make it seem as I don't care, but it does. They don't dislike me. They hate me. What did I ever do to make them hate me so? If it's because I'm too quiet, I can talk more! If I'm too boring, I can get detentions every other day! Anything to escape the scowling and hurtful looks they throw my way. Am I ditzy? I can watch where I'm going! I don't have a single place in this so-called "home". This is no home, to me at least. But who cares about my opinion? Before my mum passed, she used to tell me every night before she tucked me in, "Luna sweetie, it doesn't matter what people think of you. Just remember, we love you. And that's what matters." She's fucking dead, for Merlin's sake! Does she know what it's like to be ridiculed every second of every minute of every day? Does she know what it feels like to sit in your dorm, crying yourself to sleep? No one is even bloody close to liking me. I'm too ugly. I know it. I know it so much, it hurts. But, the knife helps. I can carve my feelings into my skin, and receive satisfaction when ruby red blood draws from my veins. I carve how ugly I am. How stupid I am. How clumsy I am. How fat I am. I can literally feel each pound on my stomach openly mocking and laughing at me, while I am in distress. All those other people think they are actually my friend, and they pride themselves on that. What pride is there in an ugly friend? A stupid friend? A fat friend? None. They aren't even my friends! They think they actually know me, Luna Elizabeth Lovegood! I would bet you five galleons that if you asked, they would know my birthday. Do they take me as some bloody charity case? Yes, that was probably it. Her mental father and her dead mother. Maybe I was as "loony" as they all said. Loony Lovegood: the definition of random, dim, and dreamy. Always happy, no matter how terrible her life fucking is. Well, I thought to myself. Isn't this ironic? Dreamy and happy Loony Lovegood, off to go drown herself! I laughed bitterly and finally got to the big lake on the school grounds. I took off my coat and slippers, now wearing only my thin blue nightgown; despite the fact it was less than 30 degrees around the lake. I then sat down at the lake, reflecting on events in my life. Mum dying, Dad's craziness, people's cruelty, all of it. I then slipped my feet into the lake, basking in the freezing water. Then, inch by inch, more of me slipped into the lake, until only my head remained out of the water. Internally, I felt s struggling battle between Death and Life, to see where I would go. Death's darkness turned to me, with His hands open. The first person to do so. And that night, Death and I walked away from Life, hand in hand, while I physically conceded to the darkness, slipping permanently out of whatever hold I had on life, sanity, and consciousness.
The end
Author's Note: And that's the end of it! I love Luna's character and think people don't give her enough credit. So, R & R! (:
BTW, JK Rowling owns everything but the plot.
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