AN: In tandem with another story of mine that's very similar, A Day with Uncle Felix, came this random one-shot! Haha, I'm so evil! Hopefully this is funny! Some spoilers for Dark Dawn if none of you have played, so you were warned.
I don't own Golden Sun. Now enjoy!
The Day Spent with Alex
Arcanus, otherwise known as the notorious Alex of the Mercury Clan, was spending the day by himself. He had left the affiliation of the Tuaparang and simply wanted to become a hermit. Having lost to the kids of the Warriors of Vale and them losing the Apollo Lens at the same time. In truth, he missed the old days he normally spent in Imil with his cousin Mia. He missed their snowball fights, their childish challenges, healing the ill together and painting snowmen green. He had no idea why or how they got the paint, but it was fun nonetheless.
Now, the self-turned hermit was currently in Tonfon, trying to blend in and enjoy his stay there. Since he had been working in the shadows while being associated with the Umbra Clan, he wasn't recognized by the citizens. Good, good. Everything was going according to plan. Now he wouldn't have to deal with annoying Tuaparang soldiers, especially Blados and his loudness that irked him to no end and Chalis' stupid, girly laugh—
"HEY IT'S OUR COUSIN ALEX!"
What the?
Alex spun on his heel, wondering where that infuriating voice was coming from. For some reason, he felt he knew that voice though...
Out in the open market though, he just couldn't spot them. Whoever they were, they were good ninjas. He left out his senses and suddenly regretted it as whoever called his name apparently did the same thing. And now that he felt the presence, he was sure he knew who it was...
"Alex! There you are! I've been looking all over for you!" shouted a grinning, aqua-haired boy with large, round glasses framing his face. He was wearing white robes similar to Mia. In fact, if he removed those godforsaken glasses from his face, he'd have looked like the male version of his dear cousin. Wait a minute...
"After all this time, Alex, I found you! Do you realize how long it took for me to track you down!?" the kid screeched. Alex covered his ears in pain.
"No. Because I have no idea who the heck you are, kid. Now go away."
"Not uh! Mom told me to find you! So you're stuck with me for however long it takes!"
"Who is your mother, brat? And why do you have to stay with me for an indefinite amount of time?!"
The boy smirked almost too evilly. "My mom's name is Mia."
Alex face faulted. He should have known! The boy had all the similar looks and his familiar Psynergy signal clearly read 'HERE I AM RELATED TO MIA'. He should have seen the warning signs but they weren't flashing too brightly nor were they working correctly. Alex grumbled incoherently that he'd have to fix those soon. Maybe he should install red warning flags instead.
"Uh, hello? Are you still there? Are you gonna like lay there all day on the ground and be used as a rug for the people?" the irritating boy-that-was-the-son-of-his-cousin asked. Alex shot up instantly, not wanting to become the new rug for ugly footprints by these...commoners! He was far above them to be used in such a barbaric way.
"Look kid. Now that I know who you belong to, GO BACK!" He shouted, getting unwanted attention.
"Nope! Mom said to stalk you—I mean watch you carefully in case you do something bad again!"
"I'm a hermit now! There's nothing 'bad' about that!"
"You could turn into a hermit villain anytime soon!"
"There's no such thing as a 'hermit villain'!"
"You never know because you'd turn into one someday!"
Alex's eye twitched. Having this bantering back and forth with this boy was becoming a nusiance. How could he get rid of this stupid child? It was as if he were a homing bomb or some Alex detecting device that would follow him everywhere.
"By the way, we met before at the Luna Tower's activation and the Apollo Lens. I'm Rief!"
"I know who you are, brat!"
"You didn't know a few lines ago. In fact, you said, and I quote, 'Because I have no idea who the heck you are, kid' end quote."
Alex face palmed. Now this kid was a tape recorder? Wait a second, what was a tape recorder? He was sure those things didn't exist in Weyard. In fact, not even the advanced technology this world had was even close to what a tape recorder was. Hm, maybe he should become an inventor instead of a hermit. Yes, yes, that sounds good.
"Whatever kid. Now begone! I am running important errands and don't need you to tag along!" Alex huffed and turned away to go do those 'important errands' as he stated. Much to his dismay, the boy followed him around like a magnet.
Rief took this opportune moment to speak up again. "So um, have you finished those errands yet?"
"No! I just started!" Alex raged. He upped his walking speed but the boy managed to keep up with him. The cousin of the Mercury Clan leader groaned and rushed around a random corner, intent to ditch the boy but nope, he was using his magnetism abilities, whatever they were, to track him down easily. Frustrated, Alex darted into the crowd of passersby, hoping to confuse the annoying aqua-haired kid. When he couldn't see the familiar Mercury Clan hair color of the kid anymore, Alex patted himself on the back for ridding himself of his watcher.
But, lo and behold! As soon as he approached a stand, the boy was there!
"Hey Alex! Have you finished those errands?" The boy asked, bright and happy.
"Grrr! No!" Alex left in a hurry, hoping to get away from him. But as soon as he reached another shop, the boy was back! What!
"How about now? Finished with those important errands, Alex?" Rief asked. Alex's eye twitched and he ran away again.
But everywhere he went, that kid was there, waiting for him! Each time he asked him the same, freaking question! There was no end to him! It was as if he used a Psynergy spell to duplicate himself and spread them out to catch him! No, no he would outwit this pathetic excuse of a Mercury Clan member. He was the smartest of them all. Even the magic mirror he owned at home in his secret chambers on the wall told him so. Of course, he didn't know that the mirror only told him that because it feared his squirrely wrath. None can handle the squirrely wrath that Alex possessed. It was rabid because he summoned ocean tons of rabid squirrels at his foes and they all attacked none too gently.
Such an example was Alex's magic carpet. Before he could use his alchemy gained powers to float and fly, Alex purchased a magic carpet from Belinisk. It was an exquisite shade of fine, blue material. It was soft, comfortable, had its own portable stereo and microwave, whatever those were. The blue-haired man had questioned about those but the merchant said the carpet was designed that way. But no matter, Alex didn't care. The item was perfect in his eyes—er eye.
So when he was set out to use it for his own, evil schemes, the carpet refused him passage. It rolled up and never untied. And whenever Alex did manage to untie it, it rolled up its windows to block him access! He was sure that thing didn't have windows before but now they were in his way. Alex narrowed his eye angrily that the carpet was disobeying so he summoned his minions of the squirrels and unleashed fury upon the magic carpet.
No one was able to deduce of confirm if the squirrels were summoned from combining the Djinn or not.
After that, the magic carpet listened and allowed its buyer to use it for his evil schemes. Said schemes included picking on little kids, stealing their lunch money and Pokemon. He also interrupted traffic and caused a lot of traffic jams and irritated the High Emperyor's game of chess with one of his subordinates. He also became the biggest troll on the Internet using Wi-Fi connection somehow using the carpet. To this day, Alex didn't know what the Internet was or what Wi-Fi connection had to do with trolling people. But it was gosh darn fun to see them wail when their things were stolen!
Alex was considering using the squirrely wrath against this kid who was his cousin's evil spawn. The boy deserved it since he was becoming a pest. And what fun was it to fight a pest with more pests? Hah!
"All right, brat! You and all your clones are going to get it!" Alex sneered evilly. Rief appeared out of nowhere, grinning.
"Sure thing, Alex. But you know, there's only one of me!" chirped the younger blue-haired person.
"I don't care! I need you to stop popping up out of nowhere in this story so I can get to my errands!"
"Well, it's the author's fault for placing me everywhere you go, you know." Rief said with an indifferent shrug. Alex glared at the author of this story as she was typing up this very sentence. Said author lightly paled but kept typing anyway because this was way too funny to stop. Torturing Alex in this way was as fun as torturing Felix in the other story. Elsewhere, Felix was cowering in a corner, looking every which way, hoping his nephew wouldn't appear with his evil Nintendo DS.
"Ugh, whatever. Now you'll get yours, brat!"
"I'M NOT A BRAT!"
"Yes you are! Face death and feel the wrath of my deadly, rabid squirrels!" Alex shouted, spreading his arms apart and summoning thousands upon thousands of foam-in-the-mouth brown squirrels. All of them charged at Rief who went wide-eyed. He put his hand back into his robe and drew out something...
"GLACEON, I CHOOSE YOU!"
"What the? HEY YOU CAN'T USE POKEMON IN THIS STORY!" Alex raged.
"Well, you can't use evil, rabid squirrel summons in this story!" Rief argued back.
Alex thought about it for a second and recalled his feral squirrels. "You're right. There's only one way to deal with pests like you. I have to take out the garbage myself."
"You can't rid of me, Alex. I'm supposed to be stalking—I mean watching you. Also, mom wanted me to spend the day with you! So, does this mean you're done with your errands?"
"Gah! NO I AM NOT DONE WITH THOSE ERRANDS AND NEVER WILL! SO STOP FOLLOWING ME!" Alex shouted as he bolted away. Rief followed him, waving his arms in the air as he tried to stop his mother's cousin from fleeing.
"Waaaait!"
"NO!"
"ALEEEEEEEX!"
"AAAAAAAH!"
Alex hurried up and found his magic carpet waiting for him at the edge of town. It was put in park for various reasons. He hopped on and tried to get the thing to go but it wouldn't obey. "Hey! Start up, will you!? I'm trying to escape here!"
"ALLLLEEEEXXX!" Rief shouted, getting closer.
"Agh! I forgot, where's the key to this thing?" The man frantically checked all his pockets in his outfit, dumping out all sorts of gadgets and objects with no plot development or background to them. This included random guns from Halo, the cloaking device from Smash Bros., Link's Boomerang, various snippets of restaurant receipts, unpaid bills and the kitchen sink. How he had the kitchen sink was beyond him. "Come on, come on, come on—!"
"Hey Alex."
"WHAT WHAT WHAAAAT?!" He yelled at the annoying boy that finally caught up to him.
"Ey, you forgot your carpet keys back there, so I picked them up." Rief smiled and held them up. Alex snatched them and started up his carpet and zoomed away.
"Hey, wait for me!"
Alex kept speeding away. He wished this day would end soon, or at least, the author would get tired of typing this infuriating story that was so out of character for both him and Rief. Why he was thinking this, he wouldn't ever know, but he put all the blame on the writer. He knew he was breaking all sorts of fourth walls and didn't care in the slightest. So, to the boy all the way back in Tonfon, he shouted, "NEVER!"
The End.