We All Do What We Gotta Do
The disclaimer telling you that I don't own any Archer characters is…wait I had something for this. Never mind. Just a one shot about Ray's past that ran through my mind.
Ray stared at the money on the table in disbelief.
Had he really fallen so far in such a short time?
It had been less than three months since both his marriage and his career as a minister had ended and here he was, in a strange hotel halfway around the world, lying in bed naked and alone.
With over a thousand dollars' worth of European money on the bedside table left behind by the man he slept with last night.
It wasn't like he asked the man for money or anything. And sure Ray had fallen on hard times. No job, no friends, nothing but a dwindling bank account but still…
Lately it seemed that life was one big shock after another for Ray. The blocks in his carefully constructed world had fallen to pieces so quickly, so rapidly. First was the final realization and acceptance that he was gay. Despite all his prayers and trials to overcome it, he couldn't change the fact that he liked to sleep with men.
"And apparently I'm good at it," Ray blinked at the money.
The divorce part was easy seeing as his wife was a lesbian who had also come to terms with the fact that she liked sleeping with women. They had parted amicably as friends and peacefully split up their assets with no quarrel or dissent.
His defrocking and disbarment from the church was not so peaceful.
He figured people back in Ferlin were still talking about his disgrace. It was bad enough he got divorced but that whole incident with the church fire and the revelations afterwards…
He supposed he should have counted his blessings that the congregation including his relatives never figured out the real circumstances behind the scandal. As far as they were concerned his wife had slept with another man and he slept with another woman in that back room…
Again he and his former wife covered for each other as they had done for the past two years.
He still winced at some of the things they said back in Ferlin. 'And to think we used to think that Gillette was a sissy!' It was one of the more colorful things that used to come up in conversation. How people laughed at the whole situation, many men secretly praising Ray for what he had done.
Ray knew full well they wouldn't be laughing if they knew the truth. He knew too well what would happen to him back in Ferlin if they ever found out he was gay.
The Olympics were his ticket out. Years of work and trials all coming down to a bronze medal. Third place. Another disappointment but at least it was an excuse to get as far away from that place he called home as possible. And even though the games had been over for over a month he was in no hurry to go back.
Europe was literally a whole different world. He found that the continent suited him. For the first time in his life he could be himself without fear or worries. He no longer had to conform to anyone's standards but his own.
It was liberating to go to a bar and pick up a guy with no expectations or worries someone would know him. Here he was just another face in the crowd.
Which led him back to the events of the previous night.
It was just another night of late night carousing. Exploring the city and its culture and then partaking in the local atmosphere. He found himself in the company of a slightly older but still quite handsome gentleman from Germany. The fact that Ray could speak fluent German didn't hurt.
At first it was some casual conversation. Then some interesting conversation about the Olympics and art. Before Ray knew it he had drunk over a bottle of good scotch and they had headed for a nice hotel nearby for a night of bliss.
When he woke up, he was alone. The gentleman had gone and left the money and hazy memories behind.
Part of Ray felt a little dirty but not dirty enough to not pick up the money.
"From a respected minister to gigolo…" Ray sighed as he looked at the money. "How you have fallen Raymond Q. Gillette. How you have fallen."
"Dukes, the people back home would really have something to talk about if they ever found out about this," Ray groaned as he reached for a cigarette left on the bedside table. "And my family would have a host of heart attacks that's for sure."
"Not like I was planning on going back anyway," Ray sighed as he lit up and took a drag. "I can never go back for more than a visit. And I am not going to visit much if I can help it."
Ferlin had never felt like home to him anyway. It always felt like just some place. Some place he just didn't fit in no matter how hard he tried to conform.
And when he stopped conforming he realized how much he hated it. That he wanted to be anywhere but there. Why would anyone want to live in a place where they couldn't be themselves?
Where he couldn't be himself. Where he couldn't be free.
There was no way in hell he was going to give up his new found freedom. The freedom to be who he was, what he was without fear of being beaten and shot.
Name calling he could put up with. Hell he's been called names and berated nearly his entire life by his father and half the town. He hated it but it didn't kill him. But the other stuff…
He remembered too well what happened to those discovered to be gay. He still remembered the smell of burnt flesh as one man, his own cousin had been tarred and feathered and…
Ray shook his head to remove the unwanted imagery from his mind. That was not going to happen to him as far as he could help it.
This was a small price to pay for his freedom. But he knew he couldn't rely on it for long. Sooner or later he knew he had to find a real job. A real career. Something that suited his particular talents.
"Well at least it's good to know I can always fall back on this if I have to," Ray sighed. "Not crazy about it but it's one way to survive."
And if there was one thing Ray was, it was a survivor.