Women flocked over the young heiress of the Haruno clan, pinning her hair back or fanning brushes of blush over her cheeks. Her mother, Mebuki, quickly snatched away their clan's shawl from a curious looker and draped it over Sakura's shoulders.
"For good luck," she whispered, smiling proudly.
The nerves wired in Sakura's brain gave way to thoughts of jumping from her chair and running from all the hands trapping her down like some wild animal tangled in a hunter's net. Her gut was twisting and her hands in her lap continued to fidget and pick at the polish overlaying her nails.
"What if he doesn't like me?" Sakura asked aloud.
Her mother groaned, throwing her head back dramatically. "Not this again."
"Well, I've never met him. How would I know?" One of the women cupped Sakura's chin and painted her lips a soft pink. Smacking her lips together and receiving a discouraging look from her mother, Sakura sat quietly contemplating her ever-nearing wedding.
An arranged marriage at this age seemed so archaic and unbecoming of a couple. She had never met this man and the only remarks given to her about her husband-to-be didn't set her mind at ease – some things mentioned just worsened her fears:
"Oh, you'll love him! He's had nothing bad said of him."
Perhaps he just kept those nasty accusations in a basement somewhere, locked away to rot.
"He's the head of the Kuchiki clan! What's not to like?!"
The Kuchiki clan might be a strong and mighty group of people, but that doesn't exclude him from being a good person. He can't just stand behind his name and expect her to fall to her knees and satisfy his every whim.
"Don't forget! He's also attractive and rich, so you'll be set for life."
Sakura wasn't worried about money. The dowry her family had invested into the marriage was enough to know they lived a comfortable life; bringing in two acres of fertile land and a fine pick of livestock would prove that to anyone. And she wasn't shallow enough to worry solely that she was to be married off to some sort of troll of a man. What worried her was the lack of a person he was beyond the money and his platinum-level reputation. Not a single soul spoke of his personality, his hobbies, his own interest in the marriage. She wished they could have met earlier, but both families insisted on the wedding. All preparations set for 'the big day' had started before Sakura could make her own choice.
They begged and pleaded, but why such insistence if the family had enough to survive and more? The Kuchiki clan had sent letters addressed to her, their desperation for a bride stronger than her own parents' sway. What could keep this man from finding a bride without that reason being so terrible?
"Sakura, you're grinding your teeth," Mebuki chided, tapping her daughter on the nose to gain her attention.
The young woman huffed as yet another pair of hands pulled on her hair tipping the chair off its front legs. She glared at her mother. "You've told me over and over how this man is so handsome and amazing, but why hasn't a single other clan attempted to fight this marriage with their own proposal?"
"I suppose we were just lucky," Mebuki answered, dabbing out some flower-scented cream and slathering it onto Sakura's palms. "Your skin is so flaky on your hands. Why do you work them so hard?"
She pulled her hand back defensively. "You wouldn't say that if you had a son," she argued.
An older woman rushed into the room, tapping the invisible watch on her wrist. "What is taking you all so long?! The bride should have been ready half an hour ago!"
The servants shrank into the background of the bride's dressing room. They bowed their heads respectfully as the woman approached the two Haruno women and guided them out, continuing to blunder on about the importance of schedules and the 'Kuchiki clan not appreciating tardiness'.
The bride-to-be let the woman's scoldings pass by as her anxiety and fears rose to extraordinary heights. By the time they reached the door, Sakura's hands were shaking underneath her mother's grip.
Mebuki's eyes softened, one hand smoothing down Sakura's hair. "It's okay," she whispered, but her words of reassurance didn't ease Sakura's worries.
The doors swung open and the three women were greeted with the sight of a lavish room detailed in intricate designs with both families' historical crests joined to signify the new marriage. The form of a man sitting seiza-style grabbed Sakura's attention. His back faced away from her, seemingly unbothered by her late entry and the old woman's audible shooing. Mebuki let go of her hand to join her father, leaving her daughter standing awkwardly by herself. The loss of her mother's hand gave her a hollow feeling in her chest. If she could only go back to being a careless, little girl again.
She shuffled her feet long enough for her mother to shoot her another look, along with the older woman that ushered them inside. Relenting finally, Sakura took her seat.
Facing her, an elderly man, holding open a well-preserved tome gazed down at the two. Sakura bowed her head, awaiting the inevitable. His eyes lingered for a moment longer on the young bride. She was beautiful - more so than he anticipated. Just knowing this pleased him greatly. All women, whether born or married into the Kuchiki Clan, were blessed by beauty. In his own words, it was one of the many blessings brought about from entering their honorable clan.
Reading through the ceremonial text, his voice, loud and booming, spoke over everyone. "The Kuchiki Clan and Haruno Clan have shared various ventures throughout our history. From aiding in battle to local trade. Now, we are honored to find another bond between our clans through the act of marriage between the Kuchiki Clan heir, Kuchika Byakuya, and the Haruno Clan's heiress, Haruno Sakura." As he read through the Kuchiki and Haruno Clan's lineage and the sacrality of marriage, Sakura stole a peek at the man sitting so quiet and still next to her.
Kuchiki Byakuya.
Slate-gray eyes fixed steadily ahead shined like candlelight. He carried an air of grace and aristocracy, emanating from a tall, sturdy frame and perfect posture. His pale skin contrasted with the black of his hair along with the extravagant, ebony shade of his ceremony robes. Her families assurances were apparently right – he was very handsome. She felt an eruption of heat on her cheeks as he side-eyed her for a moment, causing her to snap back at attention with a twinge of embarrassment lying low in her gut.
Her antics remained unknown to the elderly man as he finished his speech, her mother and father bowing to him out of respect for the praise he bestowed upon the Haruno clan and their daughter. Clapping his hands, he spoke directly to the pair:
"By tradition, the husband and wife must exchange gifts in honor of their marriage. Kuchiki Byakuya, you may begin."
Byakuya presented a folding fan decorated with cherry blossoms and beautiful gold etchings engraved along the wood's edges. Sakura marveled at its design, barely hearing him as he explained its importance.
"Suehiro – to wish happiness on you and our marriage. I vow to protect and cherish you as head of the Kuchiki clan. We will share our lives together physically and spiritually beyond any realm of life. With this gift, I will stay forever loyal and true to you as your husband." Gently taking her hand, Byakuya placed the fan in hers, closing her fingers around its guard. "This I promise you."
The elderly man, clearly satisfied with Byakuya's vows then turned to Sakura and gestured with a wave of his hand. "Haruno Sakura, you may present your gift now."
Sakura licked her lips nervously, reaching in her sash for the gift she had prepared for him. Showing it off in her palm, she noticed the arch of Byakuya's brow lifting in curiosity. It was a modest gift, but she thought the idea behind it mattered more than the luxuriousness.
"An amulet – enmusubi – to wish lasting love to our marriage. As your wife, I give all of myself to you. I vow to stay at your side and support you in every way that I can. Through sadness and weakness, my heart will not crumble. Through happiness and love, my heart will only yearn for you more. In our marriage, we will make memories that will last forever." She shakily dropped the amulet into his hand, her eyes meeting with his. "This I promise you."
"Very good. Now, let's continue..." The man drawled on of the Kuchiki clan's power and its nobility, taking note of the responsibility of the head clansmen.
As he expanded on heirs and tradition, Sakura fiddled with the fan in her hands, thinking about her future husband. His words were so striking to her and he obviously put quite a bit of thought into the gift he gave her. A part of her seemed to be warming up to the idea of being married into the Kuchiki clan. Byakuya was obviously a respected man that cared deeply for his clansmen. How could she have been so critical of him without even knowing who he truly was?
"To unify your marriage, please pour from the tokkuri a cup of sake for each other."
She followed the man's instructions as she continued to fantasize about their wonderful relationship and family. Pouring sake into the cup, Sakura handed it to Byakuya with an eager grin. In return, he poured a cup for her and smiled faintly back. Taking a drink, Sakura felt confident in her parents' choice.
They would be happy.
She finished off the drink then rested the cup on the table as her new husband did the same.
It may take time adjusting, but she could feel that he was the one. The one for her and that their love would be deep and unwavering.
Her mother and father clapped for the two as the elderly man congratulated them on their official titles as head family of the Kuchiki clan.
Everything would be perfect.
Sakura floated out of the room, waving ecstatically to her parents. Her mother gave her the usual 'I-told-you-so' look and her father gave her a quick thumbs-up. Byakuya bowed deeply and gave the pair a polite departure as the servants ushered them out of the family's manor. He guided Sakura through the hall, his arm entwined with hers. They exited through the open hallway, leading back into the main chamber of the manor. Once they were out of sight, Byakuya broke away and breathed out a heavy, tired sigh.
As his arm slipped from hers, Sakura stopped mid-step. "Umm-"
"Come," he murmured, walking ahead.
Sakura, broken from her daze, followed after him. "Yes? What is it?" She watched in confusion as he stared back at her without a word, then continued on.
His behavior puzzled her, but she chalked it up to nerves. It had been a big day for the both of them and neither had ever met, so perhaps he was just as nervous as she was – people react differently after all. She wouldn't let his sudden show of off-putting behavior affect her. Through the maze of hallways, they finally reached the largest dining area Sakura's eyes had ever come across. So many chairs and plates and glasses, her entire clan could be seated here with enough elbow room to stay comfortable. A servant quickly came into view and pulled a seat out for Byakuya then raced to the opposite side to make a seat for Sakura. She snorted, receiving a nervous glance from the servant who just stood by patiently until she realized she had to sit down.
The distance between the both of them was hilarious to her - as if she would hear him from across the entire room. Not without everyone hearing, that is. Why couldn't they just sit together?
A cup of green tea was served to her by another servant, fresh enough for steam to billow off of the cup. She took it, thanking the woman and blew a few gingerly breaths to cool it.
"I hear stress can disrupt a woman's cycle. I've had the servants prepare some tea to promote fertility. Producing an heir for the Kuchiki clan is very important," Byakuya spoke, his voice loud for everyone in the dining room to hear.
Sakura choked. Both servants were at her side, patting her on the back and expressing their concerns with offers of assistance. Did he actually say such personal matters around his helpers?! She smiled grimly at the tea and set it down at the table noticing the immediate disapproval in her new husband's features.
"Byakuya-"
"Kuchiki Byakuya-san."
She blinked, paused, then spoke up again. "I'm sorry?"
"It's alright. Just remember the proper way to address me next time," he responded, receiving a plate of food from yet another servant from the kitchen. There seemed to be an endless slew of them. For such a small family, the amount of people they had working for them appeared awfully pretentious.
Sakura laughed dryly as her own plate was set before her. "I know we just met, but we're married now. Why the formality?"
"Kuchiki Sakura-san, the Kuchiki clan is a respected family and we are known for our elegance and manners. We do not lower ourselves to the common folk and act indecent. Do you understand?" He cut into his cooked fish and took a bite. When met with silence he looked back to her and raised his brows quizzically, waiting for an answer.
She cleared her throat, feeling her nerves unraveling. Now she understood why nobody bothered with the Kuchiki clan. Now she understood why her friends from the other clans avoided her after the news. He was so pompous and arrogant and-
What could she do now?
"I'd prefer it if you called me by my first name, 'Sakura'," she started, "and I will call you 'Byakuya'. I'm not the type of person to separate myself from others and that includes my husband." Even if she felt he didn't deserve such a title!
The servants exchanged their surprise with a few whispers back and forth. They realized that this was going to be an eventful dinner.
Byakuya was less than enthused with her declaration and responded promptly with his own thoughts. "I understand this is a new environment. Clans that lack proper teachers seem to have a harder time adjusting to proper living and I don't expect you to understand this by the first day. I'm a patient man, Kuchiki Sakura-"
"'Sakura'," she corrected sternly. "And how dare you imply my clan is inferior to yours."
"Oh, I didn't imply it. I unequivocally stated my clan is far more prestigious," he replied, his words blunt and lacking thought.
It was as though this man was unable to comprehend what he was actually saying. How in the world did she possibly think he was on the level of a fair gentleman?! Far from it – so far that he was impossible to save.
"If you don't recall, Byakuya, but it was my clan receiving letters embellished with the Kuchiki seal for weeks on end. If we were such 'commoners' by your standards then why bother arranging this wedding?"
Miffed by her informalities, Byakuya's voice came off slightly harsher than he intended. "I've been heckled for a long time by my advisors about producing an heir. The Haruno clan and the Kuchiki clan have always had powerful ties to one another, so a child born from both clans will have the best possible chances. Marrying the heiress and sharing my wealth with your family is a fair trade, correct?"
"Are you assuming that I'm marrying solely for profit?" she asked, astonished.
He hunched his shoulders and nodded. "You bear me a child and the deal's done. There are certain terms to these types of situations, but we can discuss the details at a later date. I'm sure you need some time adjusting to your role here."
Sakura pushed her chair back and stood up, throwing her napkin on the table. Anger painted her face a rosy hue as she pointed directly at him clear across the table with a voice loud enough for the rest of his cooks to peek in. "Like hell! I'm not some baby-making machine that pops one out when you demand it! If all you wanted was some little wife who caters to every stupid request you give then you picked the wrong clan!"
"Sit down. We can talk about this," he urged, motioning to her seat.
She shook her head viciously. "No, forget it! Don't bother because your message is perfectly clear." Storming off, she hurried past the servants and slammed the dining room's doors shut behind her.
Byakuya sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation. After a few deep breaths, he lifted his head up and continued eating.
One of the servants called to him, wringing her hands. "Sir?"
"Don't worry. She'll be back soon. There's no way that she can get around the Kuchiki Manor by herself."
Sakura was utterly lost. Every left and right turn led either to the same place or somewhere she wasn't supposed to be. Two times she had walked into the same bathroom and four times bumped into a vase that somehow followed her around. There she was, yet again, holding the door open in the servants' quarters with their eyes wide and frozen.
Lost was now an understatement. She was such an idiot.
"Lady Kuchiki?" Sakura continued moving, unaware of the poor soul walking after her. "Lady Kuchiki?" After the second round of calling her name, the voice yelled. "Kuchiki Sakura!"
"Huh? Oh, I'm sorry." She had completely forgotten. Haruno wasn't her name anymore.
The man that had presided over their marriage approached her. "Forgive me, ma'am. I don't mean to bother, but are you having trouble finding your room?"
"Me?" Sakura laughed. "What makes you think that?"
"I've seen you pass by three times now. It's only a guess, of course, but I felt the need to ask," he answered.
Stepping back, Sakura rocked on her heels. "Yeah, I have no idea where I'm going," she admitted, embarrassed.
He chuckled, "It's a very large manor, my dear. There are quite a few people who work here who still run around helplessly and they've been around for years!" Taking her hand, he led her down the hallway. "My name is Kuchiki Ginrei, by the way. I'm Byakuya's grandfather."
Oh.
For being the grandfather of Byakuya, he spoke so warmly to her. Usually, it was the older generation that hopped on every chance to be rude.
"How are you? Shouldn't my grandson be accompanying you?" he asked innocently.
Not wanting to bad-mouth her new husband, Sakura tried to be vague. "Oh… I just wanted to explore."
"I see."
Whether Ginrei bought it or simply playing along was left for Sakura to decide. Although he seemed nice, the man's face was like a brick wall, completely empty of emotion.
Must be a Kuchiki trait, she mused. She imagined a family photo comprised of Byakuya's relatives with similar expressions. Dressed the same. Looked the same. Acted the same.
After climbing a ridiculously large set of stairs, Ginrei stopped at a pair of doors. "Here we are, my dear. If you have any problems you can ask me or any of the servants walking around."
"Thank you, Kuchiki-sama," she said, bowing.
"It was no trouble to me." As he began walking back, he turned around. "Ah, Sakura-san."
"Yes?"
"That omamori you presented to Byakuya… Was that handmade or bought from a shrine?" he queried.
Sakura's face burned. "I made it myself."
"Very nice. A gift like that is very important."
Her hand rested over the fan placed neatly inside of her obi. "I appreciate it, but my gift could not compare to Byakuya's."
Ginrei shook his head. "You're a modest woman. But making a gift while thinking of that person, no matter the size, is far more valuable. Good evening, my dear."
Sakura bowed. "Good evening, Kuchiki-sama."
"Jii-sama," he told her, leaving before she could speak.
Entering her new bedroom, Sakura's shoulders lifted a little higher. Speaking with Ginrei did help things… slightly. At least now she knew that Byakuya was the only rude one (unless more terrors came along).
Silently, her eyes scanned the room. Pristine. The futons were stored away, the floors were swept – not a single item misplaced. It was so foreign and so incredibly lonely. She missed her old room back home. She missed her mother and father.
She didn't want to be here.
A vanity table sat in the corner of the bedroom. Compared to the other furniture it appeared fairly new in age as though just purchased. It was possible that they had prepared the home for her arrival and she certainly didn't mind using it. Staring at her reflection, she began removing her hair ornaments and placing them on the table's surface. Piece by piece, she removed the pins and sticks lodged in her pink tresses, taking much longer than it should as she struggled to find everything. Once finished, she raked her hands through her free hair and shrugged off the shawl her mother gave her. She explored the wardrobes and closets, finding a collection of women's clothes inside. Sifting through the assortment of fabric, she settled on a colorful set of jinbei and quickly changed. The luxuries of the Kuchiki manor lessened her misery, but there was always that nagging feeling that her future was now doomed. She was doomed to be married to a callous, unfeeling man. Doomed to have his children and nothing else. Doomed, doomed, doomed.
She unrolled the large futon and gathered the rest of her bedding. Was she supposed to fall asleep by herself now, too?
Doomed.
Laying onto her side, she tried to calm all the countless questions and worries she now harbored in her frazzled mind. Perhaps by tomorrow, she'd wake up in her old bed and laugh out loud at the most ridiculous dream she'd had in ages.
Before her eyelids fluttered closed, the bedroom door swung open, jolting Sakura from underneath the blankets. Byakuya exhaled loudly, leaving a trail of clothes in his path. He removed his kenseikan and then walked half-naked to the closet for his night clothes. Sakura hid underneath the blankets, eyes bugging out of her skull. Did he know she was there?! There he was just prancing around half-dressed and acting as though it was just completely normal! Perhaps this wall a dream!
Stop. You've seen men without shirts on. It's nothing to gawk at.
Byakuya loosened the tie around his hakama and dropped the entire garment on the floor, causing a flustered Sakura to hide deeper under her shield of blankets. He was practically nude now! Only a little pathetic piece of fabric was covering his-
"Are you awake?" His voice was much softer than before. She could feel the weight of his body shift on top of the futon, crawling closer towards her still figure.
Her heart was beating against her chest. "Yes." She felt his fingers curl around the blankets, pulling them down to uncover her face.
His bare body encompassed her vision. Dark hair draped over his shoulder in a relaxed fashion, making Sakura almost believe he looked like a normal everyday person. Almost. He was still the man that married her for an heir. And still the man that accused her of being some money-grubbing trickster.
But he was also a very beautiful person. Sakura couldn't mask the blush on her cheeks. She hated how transparent she was.
Byakuya could read her perfectly. He leaned in closer, his fingers brushing her hair away from her face. Every touch of his fingertips along her skin sent electrifying jolts surging through her body. He touched her like she was made of glass – so tender, so careful. He crawled in just enough for the two to touch, the heat of his body causing her own to instinctively move towards him. Her eyelids were drooping, even his smell was intoxicating.
Her hands itched to touch his chest, trailing passed his clavicle to his face. She wanted to feel how soft his skin was and trace the outline of his jaw. She had hypnotized herself into thinking that the way he was touching her – his ability to show softness – could warp him into a better person.
"You've never been with another man, right?" he asked suddenly.
She was brought back to reality and shaken awake by his question. "Of course not," she answered. "Why?"
"I was just making sure. There's no harm in asking. You don't need to act so defensive," he replied.
Sakura was back in the world of the real Kuchiki Byakuya again. He must have a knack for draining people's happiness or, maybe, he just enjoyed being an asshole.
She scooted a few extra inches away to the edge of the futon. "I'm not being defensive. You're just acting like you're accusing me of something."
"I would have to disagree. What I said at dinner was just my honest opinion. Now..." His hands ran over her face, cupping her cheeks. "Let's consummate our marriage and give the Kuchiki clan an heir."
Sakura was in disbelief. Even his dirty talk was Byakuya-fied.
His face crowded hers as he attempted to kiss her. She tensed up, pushing her hands against his chest. "Stop. I'm not going to have sex with you!"
"We're together now. This is what our clans wanted, so we must follow through with our promises."
For a long moment, she laid opposite of him in mute thought. Sakura truly understood now. It was clearly so obvious even if she wished that it could have been different.
"You don't want to be married to me," she stated, her voice weak.
Byakuya showed her no visible reaction. Sitting up, he let out an exhausted sigh. He turned his back to her and hesitated to speak. To Sakura, the mere minutes it took felt like an eternity.
"No, I don't."
Her heart sank. "Then why did you do this?"
"I've told you. They expect an heir and I obviously need a wife. Why can't you understand that? I would be perfectly content living on my own without anyone." Wrangling in his emotions, he dropped the volume of his voice. "Listen, please. I am only interested in having a child. I'm not looking for an actual relationship and I apologize to you that this may feel like a terrible trick. None of this has to do with you, so don't take it personally."
His eyes trailed to her only to feel the sting of guilt. Tears were forming in her eyes and no matter how much she wiped away, more were threatening to spill.
"It has everything to do with me!" she shouted, voice breaking. "This is my life! My parents wanted me to marry you because they knew you were rich and proper and polite. That's what everyone knows if they've heard of the Kuchiki clan! But I wasn't going into this for the money or the lifestyle. I was hoping we could grow into something more and love each other! Hearing you say that I'm just here to give you a child and get money… it's an awful thing to say. I gave up my life to marry you."
Byakuya didn't respond. He turned onto his back, staring at the ceiling with a blank expression. The silence smothered her. She wished he'd say something, but nothing was voiced: no concerns, reconciliations, apologies.
Nothing.
She'd rather him say he despised her than nothing at all.
Sakura awoke to Byakuya's side empty. Not surprising. However, there was a note on the pillow.
'Meet me in the garden located on the northwest side of the house. Ask a servant if you need help finding it.'
She slipped on one of the many dresses from the closet and hurried to the dining room (after a few missed turns and wrong exits). A servant, unintroduced to Sakura, gave her some breakfast. Apparently it was too taboo to bother knowing their names which she found distasteful.
"Good morning, Lady Sakura. Did you sleep well?" Her voice was bright and gave Sakura a warm, fuzzy feeling.
"As best as I could." She found no reason to lie. The servants attending dinner had probably spread the word around of the couple's heated argument.
She set a bowl of miso soup at the table which Sakura slurped down instantly. Having fasted before the wedding and barely touching her dinner last night during their spat had her stomach crying out. She picked off a few pieces of bread on the table and devoured another bowl of rice. Behind her, she could hear a few giggles from a pair of servants. She didn't care. Why try appearing lady-like if her future husband was only focused on pushing out an heir? She had no-one to impress here.
"Could you have someone take me to the garden? The one on the northwest side, please?" It was an uncomfortable feeling ordering others around. The Haruno clan hired no servants, so having an infinite number of them at her disposal - well - it was just very strange.
"Of course, Lady Sakura! Let's head out after you're finished." She grinned at the sight of Sakura's face as yet another course was set before her. "We found out your favorites from your mother. Our thanks for last night's entertainment."
Byakuya observed the servants as they fed the large koi fish in the garden's pond. Although the workers were well-trusted and performed the task daily for years, he just couldn't stop himself from being one-hundred percent positive that his beloved fish were taken care of.
Ginrei's voice rang out from behind him, his hand slapping onto Byakuya's shoulder. "How is my newly-wedded grandson?"
"Jii-sama," Byakuya greeted.
"You're blessed with a beautiful wife. A very kind one from the looks of it." Lacking a response, Ginrei examined Byakuya's blank expression. "You're unusually quiet."
"I'm still recovering from yesterday. It was tasking for me," Byakuya said.
Ginrei nodded. "I look forward to hearing some good news. As I've told you, producing an heir is part of your responsibility as head of the Kuchiki clan. Without one, our family's lineage will fail. We are already shown as weak compared to the other noble families."
"I know that," Byakuya replied, his voice tight. "She's just being... difficult."
"Difficult?" Ginrei had his doubts. Raising Byakuya made him very aware of his own grandson's less-than-attractive traits.
Byakuya knew discussing such personal matters - specifically that of his and his new wife's bedroom habits - would end up the talk inside and outside the manor sooner than later. They didn't get married for any other reason and he knew that the meddling of his private affairs would only continue to grow if he remained cold to the topic.
"She refused me."
"Is that so?" His grandfather chuckled, receiving a withered, dull look from Byakuya. "And why would that happen?"
Byakuya ordered his servants to leave, letting the two men have their privacy. "I suppose that I may have said some things that she did not agree with, but I did not want to lie to her either."
"You need to consider the feelings of others better, specifically those that share a bed with you."
"It's just-"
The sound of soft conversation behind them pulled the two apart. Sakura bowed to Ginrei, the older gentleman nodding in response.
"Good morning, Lady Kuchiki. How was breakfast?" he asked.
Sakura smiled at Ginrei, completely ignoring her husband's existence as he came to her side. "Very delicious, jii-sama. I've never had so much food in my entire life."
"That's good to hear. We have some of the best chefs here at the Kuchiki Manor." Ginrei waved his hand to Byakuya. "I understand the two of you need to speak. I'll be taking my leave." Walking back with the servant, Ginrei finally left the two newlyweds alone to speak.
"What is it?" Sakura asked, lifting the note and flapping it about.
Crossing his arms, Byakuya motioned to the pond. "Let's relax and talk."
Sakura eyed him irritably as she walked to his side near the edge of the pond. Her eyes dropped to the rather large koi fish swimming around, gobbling the rest of their food. "Oh, wow!" Their colors were impressive, Kohaku, Showa, but the Ogon koi stole most of her attention. "It's as though it's made of real gold."
"He is one of my favorites. A very old fish," Byakuya noted.
"He's beautiful!" Sakura bent forward. "So pretty."
Byakuya watched her as she complimented the other fish and commented on their size and health. He wondered about the things he wanted to tell her and about last night's altercation.
'I was hoping we could grow into something more and love each other! Hearing you say that I'm just here to give you a child and get money… it's a terrible thing to say. I gave up my life to marry you.'
Although most referred to him as cold and strict, Byakuya did not particularly like upsetting women. If his father were still alive, he'd receive quite the scolding for making his wife cry... and on their first day of marriage at that.
He'd have to try harder to empathize with her, but such a task was too tiring and he had a hard enough time expressing his own emotions. Rukia, Renji, even that bastard Ichigo – it was too difficult and he envied the people who could share important parts of themselves to the people they were close to.
Additionally, he wasn't in love with Sakura and he never expected himself to develop feelings at all. She was simply a woman that would cease all the pressure put upon him. Having an heir, a family, it wasn't important in the slightest, but as head of the Kuchiki clan he had to do his duty. Marrying someone, having children, and pass on the legacy.
But she was a person with feelings and aspirations. She made that clear enough at dinner.
"About last night." His eyes shifted as she turned to face him. "I apologize for my terrible manners. I did not fully consider how such abrupt news could affect you."
"I'm..." Sakura wasn't sure what to say. Forgive him? Or would that seem too uppity for her?
Byakuya grabbed her wrist, startling her. "I do not want to be married, but it is my duty as my clan's leader. You may not be used to this due to your upbringing, but the pressure on me is monumental. I must have a child. I must pass my clan's legacy onto that child. That's why I have you as my wife. And I know you may end up despising me for such a low and unloving burden I'm putting upon you, but I cannot change the rules. I only ask that you accept it."
She shook her hand from his grasp. "I know what must be done: have a child to maintain the Kuchiki clan. But I want more than that. In my clan, marriage isn't just a contract. My father and mother may not get along, but they do love each other; it's an important part of our culture on marriage. Our predicament is different, I agree with that, but that doesn't mean it has to remain loveless."
"I don't think I'm equipped with what you desire. However, I refuse to act irrational and rude to my family. You are now my wife and I will respect you as I expect you to do the same for me. That's why I invited you out here. I want our relationship to stay civil, so telling you this now was the better option than just doing nothing." His usual hard edges softened at her defeated sigh. "I'm sorry that I cannot give you what you want."
She thought it stupid how easy this all was for him to say. Half of her pitied him for not wanting love while the other just wanted to knock off his jaw. However, he sounded genuine with his apologies, so she gave him a few points for that.
"Fine. What else do you want me to do then?" she muttered.
"It's not as though we will not stay in contact. We're both involved with each other now, so there are certain events and instances where we must show ourselves as a couple. For example, our clan shares a Sakura tree viewing festival with the other clans. It's a chance for us to mingle and enforce our relationships."
"Got it."
"Another thing is..." He shifted his stance. "I'd feel more comfortable if you kept our matters private, specifically the purpose of our marriage."
"Who would I have to tell?"
"Well, your parents to start. I know you may wish to contact them sometime soon," he responded.
She clapped her hands together, bobbing up and down on her heels. "Okay… What else?" She just wanted this conversation to end.
"Don't be afraid to talk with me. We may be strangers, but I hope we can find some common ground together. "
Sakura didn't object to that. Perhaps he was a little nicer now that she was over his rude remarks from yesterday. "I'll keep that in mind." Ready to leave, she stopped as his voice called out behind her.
"Also, I've called in a teacher for you."
No...
Byakuya continued, "At dinner, I noticed you were rather 'thoughtless' when it came to proper etiquette, for lack of a better word."
Oh, no.
After another pause, he again spoke, his original non-filtered of speaking even after their discussion just minutes ago. "I understand that lesser clans don't have to worry about the importance of which cutlery to use or what to eat first, but you must live up to the Kuchiki Clan's standard of living. I've also made plans to keep our schedule organized, so that we're having necessary 'couple time', as most call it. I had one of the servants draw it up before I went to bed last night and it's looking very promising."
He's still talking, she thought, appalled.
"And on the subject of schedules, we must create a fertility calendar to time our monthly sessions. I've done some research and understand that the highest chance of pregnancy is only thirty-three percent while at the height of ovulation, so as long as you adhere to the strict diet and exercise I have set up for you-" He blinked as he watched her reach into the pail of fish food. "Kuchiki-"
"'Sa-ku-ra'," she reminded, grabbing a large handful of dried worms and algae. Stepping closer to the pond, she lifted her arm over the water's surface.
Byakuya raised his hand, his voice strained, "You're not aware, but these koi are on a special feeding regimen that must be maintained. They are fed three times a day - the only exception being an extra feeding on birthdays - so I'd greatly appreciate you putting the food back into the pail, please."
The visual discomfort on his face made her want to laugh. In her mind, she debated which was worse: being on a strikingly similar routine to a bunch of fish or the fact that those fish probably held more importance to Byakuya than she ever would.
"Oops," she squeaked innocently as she dropped the food into the pond. The koi quickly swarmed into a frenzy, eating every bite.
Byakuya stifled a gasp, losing his composure. "Why did you do that?! Did you not hear what I said?"
Sakura smirked at him. "Oh? Are you referring to my uterus again? I'm too 'stupid' to remember."
"I never accused you of being stupid, but I can't deny that your actions are," he remarked, voice hard.
She scoffed, "Are you serious?! They're fish, Byakuya! Or, no, should I say 'Kuchiki Byakuya-san', the most perfect man in the world?"
"How shameful for the Kuchiki Clan's leading woman to act out so immaturely. Have you also forgotten our deal or are you intentionally being disrespectful?"
The man was too serious to decipher her sarcasm - he was hopeless. "You're the first to break the rules! As soon as you stopped talking about being respectful, you started on about fertility calendars and diets and-!"
"I've had enough of this." Byakuya snapped his fingers, the two servants responsible for feeding the koi fish quickly came to his side. "Escort my wife back inside, please. She's behaving foolishly and I will not allow my precious koi to feel stressed by our argument."
Sakura couldn't roll her eyes hard enough. "I can't believe this..."
Byakuya walked to the edge of the pond, kneeling down and dipping his hand into the cool water. "It's alright. I'll have someone stand by to keep you all comfortable. I'm sorry if you were affected by my shouting. Would you like me to read to you later?"
Brows creased and her teeth grinding, Sakura slipped out of the light hands of the servants and headed for the pail for a second time. Taking the handle, she rested the bucket under her arm and aimed for the center of the pond.
"Don't you dare," Byakuya warned.
"Or what?" Sakura drawled. "You'll ground me?"
Both servants stepped back as Byakuya rushed towards the armed woman. "Put it down, Sakura."
"Wow, no formalities? I'm almost shocked," Sakura gasped dramatically.
Byakuya's frown deepened, his hand wrapping around her wrist. "The fish do not deserve this treatment. Let's discuss this like mature adults and-"
She jerked her hand away, but Byakuya's grasp remained firm. "No! I'm sick of listening to you!"
"Remove the pail and go into the manor. You're causing a scene in front of our workers." His eyes narrowed as his voice grew lower. "Dearest wife."
Sakura struggled against him, her feet skating closer and closer to the pond's edge. "I refuse to! And I refuse this marriage and I refuse to have a child with you! My dearest hus-" Losing her balance, her heeled shoes rolled over one of the few jutting rocks fencing the pond.
She waved out her arms, gripping hold of Byakuya's sleeve and throwing him off his feet. With a loud splash and a few shouts from the pair, they found themselves wet, irritated, and covered in fish food. The servants shrieked, hurrying over and fumbling as they pulled the couple out of the water and through the garden.
"You ruined the koi's home! It will take them weeks to readjust after such a traumatic event!" Byakuya said, cursing to himself. "How they decided on you as my wife is beyond my understanding!"
"Oh, I understand it! You're such an awful person, they had to pick someone who barely knew about you and your rotten attitude! If anything, I was given the short straw here!"
Throwing open the doors, Byakuya gave her an incredulous look. "You're so self-centered. As if I'm the one that caused this to happen!"
Ginrei, hearing the screams and heated remarks, walked in on the two continuing their spat. "What in the...? Byakuya, what is going on here? Why are the two of you soaked?"
Given a towel, Byakuya dried off his face then threw it over his head. He sniffed, composing himself, or did his best to appear so. "Jii-sama. We were just... talking."
With his eyes trailing to the frightened servants then to the haggard appearance of his grandson and his fuming wife, Ginrei chuckled. "My, my," he mumbled. After a quick cough to recover, he pointed to the two servants. "Please, take Lady Kuchiki to the baths. I'm sure she needs some time to relax."
Sakura pushed her drenched hair out of her face and crossed her arms. As the two guided her through the hallway, she looked back at the dripping, angry mess that was her husband. He glanced at her through black, wispy strands, eyes narrowed in frustration with lips pursed.
Don't make this my fault, she thought.
"I'm not the one who wanted this." Holding tighter to the towel wrapped around her shoulders, Sakura turned her head and scuttled out of sight.
The constant, rushing water echoed through the large, open bath. Undressing and washing up (by herself as she wasn't partial to the idea of these strangers watching her strip bare), she dipped slowly into the hot water. Like many of the rooms in the Kuchiki Manor, the bath was just as extravagant. The large room could fit a house and a half inside. A cherry blossom tree, ready to shed its pink petals, rooted itself at the center.
"I wonder if they planted you before or after they built this place," she pondered aloud. Her palm ran along the large, sculpted stone that contained its roots and soil. Nestling underneath its shade, she sat up against the rock and began contemplating some sort of escape route.
Perhaps she could fake her death? No, she could never get away with that. Maybe run away during the night?
Before she could think further on any more potential plans, hyoshigi clapped through boxed speakers followed by the tranquil sound of koto and shinobue instruments. The music was calming and, after checking the time on one of the walls, seemed to be scheduled for Byakuya's noon-time soak. The door leading into the bath slid open and the soft sound of feet enticed her eyes to peer at the unwelcomed guest.
Byakuya's hands consciously went to the towel wrapped around his hips, holding onto it whilst casually throwing his hair over his shoulder. "Hello," he muttered, walking towards the showers.
Sakura growled a curse under her breath and slid deeper into the water. She was ordered to relax, but with him here...
"The servants have tended to the koi and they're doing fine," he spoke up, running hot water through his hair.
She wanted to scream. Just the mention of koi now was beginning to piss her off. It was unfortunate, too. They were actually very beautiful, but Byakuya had to ruin that experience too.
Peeking nonchalantly, Sakura watched as he massaged a sweet-smelling soap through his hair, slowly running the leftover suds down his arms and chest. The lather in his hands bubbled up as he washed down his abdomen then to his legs and feet.
It made her wonder how such a handsome, privileged man could end up so heartless. Although she was the heiress of the Haruno Clan, she considered herself to be modest. She still yearned for true love and happiness and cared considerably for all of her family and friends. But did Byakuya also care for his family? How could his grandfather tolerate him? She wanted to believe he was a good person, but every moment of reconsideration she had of him withered away with the next word from his mouth.
She could have sympathized with him if he hadn't torn her heart out last night, but he did and there wasn't another possible chance they could ever be truly happy together.
Rinsing away any leftover soap from his wash, Byakuya waded his way into the bath. He exhaled in contentment as he sank lower in the satisfyingly hot water. Perfect temperature, as always. However, he could not relax any further as his recent chat with Ginrei balked all calming thoughts from him.
Ginrei watched as Sakura slipped and staggered to the bath, leaving a trail of water dripping behind her. Before the Kuchiki's leader could storm off, his voice carried through the hall, gentle and marked with amusement, "You're not well-versed with women... are you, my grandson?"
"Jii-sama... Women are not difficult! She is uncontrollable and disrespectful. She has not submitted to a single thing that I have said and continues to defy me. A single day with her has felt like a week. She is-"
"Byakuya..." Ginrei's voice softened, barely a hair's width from a whisper.
"Yes?"
"You cannot compare her to Hisana. It is an unfair expectation for you to have."
Byakuya's jaw tightened, eyes dropping to the water spreading across the tiled floor. "Of course," he muttered. "I had no such thoughts in my head."
Ginrei smiled. Byakuya was far too stubborn to admit to even the smallest mistakes. Though he was a concrete stoic, Ginrei knew that the death of his first wife still weighed down heavily on his grandson's heart. And he knew that feeling all too well himself. Losing Sojin made any forward step harder each day.
But Byakuya and himself had their own missions. And life continued on even after death.
"Go on, Byakuya. She is a special one... I can feel it."
Byakuya appeared doubtful of his grandfather's words, but to argue about such things wasn't needed. "Yes, I'll be leaving. See you at dinner-"
"Unfortunately, I'll be busy around that time. For today, it will just be you and your wife attending."
Not attending? Strange. Ginrei never missed dinner. What was he planning?
Refusing to badger the elderly man further (although he did have many questions), Byakuya moved on his way to the baths. "Fine, then. I will see you when I see you."
"Byakuya!"
Stopping, Byakuya turned over his shoulder. "Yes, jii-sama?"
"Her mother told me she likes books, specifically romance. Have a good bath."
Byakuya sidled his way towards his new wife, acting as inconspicuously as his tall frame permitted. The music was a nice touch - a pleasant addition to their bath. If he could dig into her interests, the chances of the two sleeping together may actually be possible.
Maybe.
"Your mother said you have an interest in books."
She side-eyed him, wondering what half-baked plan he had under his sleeve. Well, he wasn't wearing clothes, but he was obviously working up to something.
"Yes," she said warily.
He smiled politely. "What kinds are you interested in?" He already knew, but that wasn't important. Getting the woman to talk and maintain some air of friendliness was.
She sank deeper into the water, her eyes averted. "I... like romance novels."
"Well, our library-"
"And medical textbooks," she added.
He blinked. "Medical textbooks? Like encyclopedias?"
She nodded, turning just an inch his way as she explained, "You see, I was interested in becoming a doctor. Our clan doesn't have many and the ones that we do have are too old. They aren't interested in new findings and procedures and advances in technological equipment, so it's impossible to get quality care. Where I lived, traveling to a doctor's office or hospital outside of the clan's land was too far."
He blinked again. "Oh..."
"I just thought if I learned a little bit - just enough to give my clansmen some options - I could help. So I bought a bunch of textbooks and realized how much I loved to learn about medicine and the human body and-" Her cheeks flared with radiant, red heat. "Sorry. My mother always tried to steer me towards sewing, so I never get the chance to talk about this."
Apparently, but Byakuya couldn't complain. She was talking. A lot.
"We don't have anything geared towards medicine in the library - mostly historical documents or literary classics. But if you have an interest for the topic, I can acquire an order of books if you're interested."
Sakura, completely forgetting about the koi pond incident, shook her head vigorously. "Yes! I'd love that! Maybe things about the medicinal qualities of certain plants or physiology or-"
"You can make up a list if you'd like. I'm sure we can find everything you'll ever need."
She sighed dreamily, imagining an endless tower of books stacked high into the sky. All for her to read and explore and learn.
"Thank you, Byakuya," she murmured. It was a very kind offer. Nobody had ever entertained her wish to become a doctor.
"You're welcome," he replied. Moving closer, he brushed his shoulder against hers. "Sakura."
She rubbed her shoulder, eyes magnetically caught in his gaze. He said her name without any malice or condescension. It sounded very, very nice.
Sakura was now consciously aware of how naked she was. And how naked her husband was. And how they were alone.
She brought her hands up to her chest and covered herself quickly. They were naked and alone and she couldn't stop these thoughts from circling repeatedly through her head. Again and again. Over and over. Due to her embarrassment to even ask her parents about the subject (and her medical textbooks truly being her only teacher on sex), Sakura had to wonder how things transitioned from a relaxing bath to a hot-and-heavy escapade in the bedroom.
Would they start in the bath? And on their way out, did they dry each other off or just their own bodies? Was there some Kuchiki tradition or secret handshake?!
Unaware to the turmoil happening in Sakura's head, Byakuya took in the serious look she carried in her eyes. Her brow furrowed and creased with frustration. One hand, clenched in a tight fist, bumped against her mouth in contemplation.
"Is there something wrong?" She was obviously deep in thought about something and he questioned what could possibly be troubling her after his generous proposal.
Sakura gave him a tight-lipped grin. "Nope! It's fine. Just..." God, she was embarrassed. Hopefully he was too socially inept to see through her. "Just thinking about all the books I can think of! So many!" She let out a poor chuckle and winced.
Terrible acting. He'd have to be a complete fool not to catch on now.
Byakuya accepted it. "That's understandable, but remember not to get too caught up in the idea. We still have dinner to attend to."
Oh, shit. He was dumb. In a social sense, anyway. If he couldn't spot such obvious cues, then there was definitely something wrong with him. Or he just didn't want to bother with it. Either way, it only made Sakura think about it more.
If there was a chance - as slim as it may be - that they slept together, would he be able to read her body. In all the books she found on the topic, a couple 'in the act' performed better if both people exchanged active communication. Byakuya didn't seem the type to tell her what would feel good and she was still so shy. Having a child was the sole purpose to their marriage, but Sakura couldn't foresee any hope that the pair could get past undressing each other before they started arguing again.
And if they did have sex, what percent-chance was there that it would be enjoyable? All she imagined was some quiet scene where neither one said a single word and finished quickly. No cuddles or kisses afterward like in her over-the-top romance novels. They would go to bed and pray that those precious minutes of lost time made a baby. Then nothing again because what would be the point?
Her chest tightened and she felt herself falling into another pit of dark realization. He didn't love her. He never would. And the fact that he was so okay with it made it hurt worse. She couldn't go back home and be with someone else. She was stuck in this damned manor with an empty husk of a husband and fish on a strict feeding schedule and workers whose names she didn't know and bitterness that would only continue to grow each day until it devoured her and she becomes just as hollow as the man she married.
Tears stung at her eyes, rolling down her cheeks before she even noticed. She had to accept it. And it was so hard because this wasn't the life she wanted. None of it was.
Byakuya stared mindlessly ahead, fully aware of her tears. He knew what she was thinking now. A sense of helplessness washed over him and he hated it. There was nothing he could do. All of the love she wanted, he just couldn't bring himself to feel.
Suddenly, a memory from his childhood came to him. His father, working on a business deal, smiling and laughing at all the men's jokes and stories. Byakuya didn't understand it. His father wasn't a fan of the type of humor the men were cranking out, but he was laughing as though they were the most hilarious people he ever met.
After the deal was finalized and the men went home, he had asked his father:
'Why were you laughing at their jokes? You've never liked that kind of stuff before.'
Sojun smiled down at him and ruffled his hair. 'Sometimes, you've got to do things for the sake of others. Not laughing would have been rude.'
'But if you don't like it then why pretend to? It doesn't make sense.'
'Pretending isn't a bad thing. Who knows? Maybe, someday, I'll find those jokes are funny and laugh just like they do.'
'How can you pretend and then believe it yourself?'
'Because, son, time changes how we interpret things: our opinions, our ideals. Nothing is intolerant to time. Not even Musarabe-san's jokes about his last fishing trip.'
Byakuya nodded, still not fully satisfied with his father's reasoning. Grabbing Sojun's hand, the two made their way towards the garden. Hearing a chuckle forming in his father's throat, he looked up to see an amused grin crossing over his lips.
'The part where he slipped on the fish was pretty funny, though.'
Suddenly, the music in the bath caught Byakuya's ear, steering him from the old memory. It was a nice tune - not incredibly slow or fast. Perfectly paced. Every other time, he let it slip into the background, but for some reason he found himself humming along to its melody.
Sakura wiped her eyes, hearing the low song in his throat. She stared at him, watching as he let his head fall back against the stone. The song was popular enough for her to recognize, the bite of nostalgia nipping at her.
"My mother used to sing this to me. She never had much of a voice, but it always helped put me to sleep." Her voice came out small and raspy, still choked up by her tears.
He stopped, turning his head for their eyes to meet. "It's one of my grandfather's favorites. He once told me it was actually based off of an old dance. The fluidity of their movements is what inspired the composer."
Sakura half-smiled. "I didn't know that... Hearing it now, it sort of makes sense."
Byakuya eyed her thoughtfully. His grandfather concentrated all of his power into proving Sakura was a good choice as his wife. Every advisor agreed as well, constructing charts and lists to prove it - possibly puppet shows if they were desperate enough - to convince him that they were a match. Even his closest servants (the ones that fed his beloved koi) had seldom thrown in their opinions that the heiress to the Haruno Clan could be a well-received option. Everyone that knew of the arranged marriage supported it. They obsessed over the idea because the Kuchiki Clan wanted, needed an heir.
But over the proposal letters, the coercing gifts to the Haruno Clan's leaders, and the numerous trade meetings to boost their relationship...
Byakuya was numb. The only goal left in his head was to follow the rules of the clan. Too many mistakes were made in his past and too many good people had died for no other purpose than his own selfishness.
He dared not speak it to anyone, but Byakuya didn't believe he was worthy of love. For all that he used to be and for what he was now, he didn't the right to be taken and cherished. He was a hollow shell. A ghost. A husk. Anything that was once full of life left abandoned and ruined. Empty. Nothing in this world truly brought him happiness.
Sakura's hand awoke him from the festering, ill thoughts that overtook his mind. The firmness of her palm ran down his shoulder to his arm before dipping back under the soothing warmth of the onsen.
"Are you okay?" she asked, concerned.
Byakuya pulled himself together, nodding. "Fine, thank you."
Sakura didn't believe it, but she deemed there was enough tension between the two and fought back the urge to ask.
His father was right. If he hadn't laughed at Musarabe's joke, he could have offended his trading partners. Even if he didn't find their stories or jokes funny, laughing was the right thing to do. Byakuya understood now why that memory resurfaced in his mind.
"Sakura, I don't think I can love you."
Her shoulders sagged. "I'm pretty sure I know that by now."
"No, no… That's not what I meant. I can't love you, but what I can do is pretend to," he said, the idea making more sense in his head than coming out of his mouth.
She looked at him despondently. "Honestly, that sounds even worse."
He groaned, unable to explain in a way for her to understand or accept. "This is frustrating."
"Just say what's on your mind. You don't need to sugarcoat anything for me."
Nodding, he lowered his voice. "I blindsided you with this marriage and the terms that go along with it. I'm sorry." Under the water, his hand covered hers. They looked at each other, eyes locked and serious. "I made vows as your husband and I'll follow through. That's what I meant by pretending. Someday these feelings may become real. I won't promise anything, but I won't reject it either."
She searched his eyes for sincerity, but knew it in his voice how he truly felt. "Byakuya." What did she really have left to lose by believing in him? "Thank you."
He smiled at her, relieved that they could finally reach some sort of impasse. Raising his hand, he tentatively caressed her face with the brush of his thumb. Her skin was soft, flushed from the heat of the baths. Sharing in something so personal had the two feeling more comfortable in their honesty. Their relationship was one of convenience, but as she had said before, it didn't have to stay that way. For Byakuya to not try and do something was just asking for their marriage to fail.
Seeing his smile reach his eyes gave Sakura an inkling of hope. She knew that realistically nothing may happen, but it didn't stop the romantic inside of her from believing. They had only been married for a single day and, to put it frankly, knew that she had a long and interesting road ahead of her. Perhaps in a week or maybe a month - possibly a year or longer… they could fall in love.
"The teacher's staying," he noted.
"Then I get to burn the fertility calendar."
"That will never happen. And don't even bother mentioning the diet either."
She sighed. The road to love was full of many, many obstacles.