Okay, so this is my first Twilight fanfic. I feel kind of noobish at this, so cut me some slack please? Haha.

I was inspired by "kissss-meeee" and "pleasebiteme". Thanks to these two lovely people, I now walk around the house, thinking about what evil, yet quite moronic stories I can come up with about Bella and Mike Newton.

(FYI: If it wasn't for Edward's good looks and vampirism I would certainly be in love with Mike Newton)

However: I hate Jacob Black. Not the character himself, but the actions he pulls like the kiss that certainly did ruin Bella in ways I could never forgive him for. HMPH. Stupid kiss pusher! Anyways! On to my slightly moronic story! And I do rant a bit – it's a habit. Sorry!

MICHAEL NEWTON!

Bella drove her orange old truck to school. It was a bright sunny morning and the clouds were no where in sight. Bella sighed. It was the beginning a miserable school day, knowing that Edward wouldn't be there. She pulled into Forks High, and Mike Newton was in her parking spot. This was unusual. Ever since Edward had returned, he shied away from her.

Bella parked in Edward's spot next hers. She sighed; today was spiraling downward because of the sun. She didn't need Mike interfering with her bad mood. She cut the engine and got out. "Mike. Care to explain what is going on?"

Mike stood with a boom box in his hand. The first instinct Bella had was to run. Fight or flight was tugging at her legs. She decided to stay, and fight whatever was about to come her way. Mike put the stereo down and hit play. A familiar slow beat started to play, and the song hit her in the face. He couldn't! He wouldn't!

"Spending all my nights, all my money going out on the town,
Doing anything just to get you off of my mind, but when the morning comes
I'm right back where I started again, trying to forget you is just a waste of time"

Bella was too much in a fright to even move. Mike knew that Edward wasn't going to be at school today because of the nice weather. The song continued.

"Baby come back, any kind of fool could see,
There was something in everything about you
Baby come back, you can blame it all on me
I was wrong, and I just can't live without you"

Throughout the song, Mike got on his knees and made over exaggerated hand motions to the air and down to his heart multiple times. Bella noticed he was dressed in something that Prince, the singer, would have worn to one of his concerts. She could see his flat upper body, with no sort of tone to mention. It was almost disturbing. She walked up to Mike and slapped him. It seemed like the right thing to do, Bella told herself, he was obviously delirious.

"OUCH! What was that for?" Mike snapped. He pushed pause on the stereo.

"Mike" Bella sighed "How many times do I have to ignore you before you get the picture that I don't like you?"

"I had this all planned out! I got this song off Limewire! Do you know that risks I took for you? I downloaded illegally! What has Edward ever done for you?" Mike shouted.

Bella didn't know how to respond. Not only did Mike look like he was going to a gay convention, but his voice got higher and higher as he yelled. Bella couldn't help but laugh. She had to grasp her truck for support.

"Mike" she breathed. "You're in a gay looking costume. You're singing to me, and saying that illegally downloading music is a risk. Tyler is starting to stare at you with interest. What kind of reaction did you want to get from me?"

"Well" Mike started. His temper was growing as the people gathered and started to snicker. "I was hoping you would figure out what a real man would do for you"

"A real man!?" Bella snorted. She got quite interested in his motives now. "This is what you think a real man would do? If this is it, I'm half expecting you to pull out flags and start dancing and twirling!"

Mike looked at his car and bit his lip. Bella noticed the direction of his eyes and glanced over at his car. Sure enough, there was neon colored flags in the back. She couldn't help but laugh.

"If you wanted to prove to me that you were a real man, I would love to see you come to school with tights on and ribbons and hula-hoops" Bella stated, not hiding the amusement and laughter that escaped her lips. She wanted to know how far he would go for her, even if it meant he would embarrass himself and still get turned down.

Bella walked to her first period, knowing that Emmet would be proud. Maybe the school day wouldn't be such a disaster anyways.

I know, I'm mean to poor Mike. But I couldn't help it! I am out of character if you haven't noticed. I'll try the best I can to keep them in character, but I am not promising anything! I don't know if I will continue on with this one. Review if you want me to!

Oh! I own nothing. I don't own the band "Playa" or "Baby Come Back". Or Twilight. I do down a stereo though!

So. Tell me. How was it? I love feedback. Just not the – "Your gay, get a life, I hate you" stuff. Please, keep that to yourself.