From snake to hawk
It started out as just a team to try to find Itachi, but as time progressed bonds were formed and they weren't just comrades anymore. They were a family. Follow Sasuke, Suigetsu, Karin, and Juugo as they go from snakes slithering in the grass to hawks flying high in the sky.
Warnings: I'm going to tell you right now, while this will have a point it is dedicated to all of the clichés out there, so yes random things shall occur. OOC, slight crack (if you squint), only slightly follows story line, bad attempts at humor, only okay writing skills, I probably use a word or two wrong and Sasuke abusing sexy no jutsu. Now I warned you so no whining.
In a clearing surrounded by trees dancing to the soft sound of the wind stood a classic beauty. This girl had dark hair flowing to her waist, a flawless face, and long ivory legs exposed by short black shorts. Her white low v-neck covering her well endowed chest ruffled as a more forceful wind then before picked up. If it weren't for the knocked out ninja at her feet she would've looked like an angel.
"Hey Sasuke!" A boy with white-bluish hair to his shoulders and a purple sleeveless shirt yelled.
"Hn," Sasuke responded causing the boy to smile revealing shark like teeth.
"The red haired bitch says that there are some more a little north of here, so-"
"No," she interrupted.
"But Sasuke!" The shark like boy whined, "You didn't even hear what I wanted to ask."
"Fine," Sasuke said exasperated, "What were you going to ask?"
"If I could kill 'em."
"No."
"Awe! Come on! You never let me kill anyone!"
"Suigestu."
"Yeah?"
"Shut the hell up."
"What? Hell no!" Suigetsu screamed while his eyes widened.
"Just listen to me for once."
"Why should I listen to you? You transform into a girl every ten seconds!"
"And you feel the need to kill everything. We all have our flaws it doesn't mean you should pick on people because of them," She-err he spoke in a teasing voice.
"Transforming into the opposite gender isn't a flaw! That's a mental condition!"
"And killing everything isn't?"
"Uh, well, um… well," after a few moments of failing to come up with a come back better then 'I bet your mom killed everything' Suigestu finally opened his mouth, "Why do you transform like that anyway?"
Sasuke shrugged, "It's comfy."
"You mean it gets Karin off you back."
"…That too."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Little line break thing 1
Let it be known that while Sasuke Uchiha is always right, and while he always gets his way with his 'glare of doom' even he is no match for utter stupidity. In fact, today would be a great example of such an occurrence. Suigetsu wanted to go after the mysterious team while Sasuke thought it would be a waste of time, of course with them being the hormonal teenage guys that they were this lead to fighting, and, let's face it, even Sasuke can blow his cap when faced with the horror that is Suigetsu. And that children is exactly why three hours later team Hebi was on their way to this mysterious team.
"Hey Sasuke?"
"No, we're not there yet Suigestu," Sasuke said through clenched teeth.
"How did you know I was going to ask that?"
"I've known you for more than five seconds."
"Suigestu!" The only girl (well real girl) of the group yelled, "stop bugging Sasuke!"
"I'll stop bugging him when you stop stealing his toothbrushes!"
"That was you?" Sasuke yelled, appalled. His question went unanswered, as both the shark boy and the walking pimple ignored him.
"Shut up Suigetsu! That was one time!"
"One time my ass! You've tried it hundreds of times!"
"But that doesn't mean I've seceded hundreds of times!"
"It still counts!"
"It does not!"
"Yes it does!"
"Will both of you just shut up!" Sasuke yelled-interrupting them.
"Why sh-" the white haired boy was cut short as a look of confusion crossed his face, "hey- where's Juugo?"
"Where do you think he'd be you wannabe shark?" Retorted-you guessed it- Karin.
And so another argument continued. Insults were thrown, retorts tossed, and in the end Sasuke's fist was flown into both of their heads.
"You two," Sasuke's icy voice rang, "are the ones who wanted to go so badly so why the hell won't you just shut up."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Little line break thing 3
Another half an hour of complaining, fighting violence and trying to figure out where the hell Juugo went continued until they were only mere feet away from the other team. Now Sasuke has never had very good luck. His brother killed his clan, his rival turned out to actually be, well, strong, he was molested by an old perverted snake (another story for another time) and now he could not find his brother. However what stood before him had to prove that Sasuke had done something to unleash the wrath of some unworldly power. It seemed that he, along with his team (minus Juugo- no one really knows where he went) had just gone to the very team that he had been trying to avoid, Yes, standing right before him was none other than the people who quite possibly may have even worse luck then he does- the remaining team seven. Oh and some gay hooker.
"S-Sasuke?" The pink haired girl asked, her eyes wide and brimming with tears. Sasuke only nods, not knowing what to exactly say to her- let's face it he's never been a very good people person.
His onyx eyes sweep across this, as cliché as it's going to sound, reunion. His old rival is simple frozen- Sasuke's mind, out of habit, comes up with an insult for the blond (What? Are you so much of a dobe that you forgot how to talk?) but in the end he decides to keep his mouth shut. Kakashi looks as cool and collected as ever, a small smirk on his face the only emotion. Then there was the other member- his so called replacement. Well, let's just say that Sasuke has just found a person who out scares clowns. A large grin- that's obviously fake- and some sort of stripper/hooker outfit make a combination that's almost as scary as Orochimaru. Almost. Sasuke made a mental note that when he controls mongeko this guy will be one of the things he uses to torture people with.
"Sakura. Kakashi." he nods to them as he states their name, "Dobe. Dobe's whore."
"Teme! He is not my-"
"I assure you Sasuke that I am not dickless's whore. For me to be his whore he would have to have a dick and sense he does not that makes him my whore."
"I'm not you're-"
A smalls smirk covers Sasuke's face as he tunes them out. It's at that moment that he decides he approves of his replacement. It's also the moment that whatever unworldly force hates him decides to make his life even worse and casts down a large streak of lightning causing everyone to fall to the ground. When everyone regains their composure enough to look around-well- let's just say looking into the eyes of your past selves (or for some your friend's past selves) along with Zabuza who's supposed to be dead can really come as a shock. No really it does, if they weren't ninja they most likely would have pissed themselves.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~Little line break thing 4
A large, orange haired man leaning against a rock slowly opened his eyes. Several seconds later his brows furrowed and a look of near panic overtook his face.
"Sasuke? Sasuke? Were are you Sasuke? This isn't funny!" The man shouted, "I'm serious you can come out now!" His shouts echoed around the forest until they died out. Giving a sigh the leans back against the rock and takes yet another nap.
~~~~~~~Little line break thing 5
So, what did all of you think? Seriously I want an honest opinion- yes flamers are welcome.
Sasuke's use of the sexy jutsu and a lot of this type of humor was inspired by Reload by Case13 (read it! It's the bomb). I did not directly quote this story or use the same story line I simply thought a crack with a point would be fun to write.