In the Hummel household, Christmas came and went without much fuss. There were a few presents exchanged, and father and son always marathoned Christmas movies, but Kurt cooked dinner as always, and although his father always took the day off, it was just another day in the year as far as the two of them considered. Kurt objected to tacky Christmas decorations as soon as he was able to know better. There was never a tree to decorate. Kurt's mother had always been the one to put it up and take it down, and after she died, it just seemed to both of them to be too much trouble.
But Halloween? THAT was sacred. Costumes were discussed by the middle of August. And always, without fail, every single year, they attended the local production of Rocky Horror Picture Show in a neighboring town. Kurt loved it, even more than The Sound of Music Sing-a-Long, and it was the one theater event his dad would go to without complaint. And every year, his father even dressed up as Eddie.
"Rocky Horror's a no-go this year, Son," Burt announced when Kurt came home after school the Monday before Halloween.
"What?" Kurt squeaked, staring at the article on the front page of the newspaper his father had handed him in disbelief.
To say that the news was a huge disappointment was the understatement of the century. Kurt wasn't sure that his dad would be ready for it this year since the heart-attack happened. It would've been their first outing.
Not that they'd been lacking in father-son time. During the entire convalescence, Kurt left for school in the morning and only went out for groceries and essential errands. Kurt hadn't complained once. He was just so glad to have his dad back, and his father was not going anywhere any time soon if he had anything to do with it. And at first, his father hadn't complained much, even ate what Kurt made for him, and accepted Kurt's requests with a smile.
But by the second week, the tension in the house was palpable again. Kurt's incessant hovering had become too much for Burt. And when he was finally allowed to return to work, the younger Hummel relished the freedom and the elder Hummel enjoyed the peace and quiet.
But Halloween was fast approaching, which meant a tradition that Kurt looked forward to every year. His dad would take him to see the annual live production of Rocky Horror Picture Show. They'd already long-since discussed plans to go. Kurt suggested Carole and Finn come along too, but although Finn had made progress understanding and accepting Kurt, he highly doubted Finn would take kindly to being dragged to a show about sexually evolved transvestites from outer-space.
"There was an article in the paper about it," his dad explained. "Apparently on Sue's Corner last night, she let it be known that the play caused a Crabs epidemic. According to this customer of mine who plays Dr, Scott every year, it was because some idiot said he caught it from the play."
"Oh please! One person gets an STD and all of a sudden it's an epidemic? And plus, it's stage sex! Not actual…you know…sex."
"Well, according to my buddy, he says it happened 'cause the Brad was cheating with some stewardess and didn't wanna get caught. Apparently Coach Sylvester's got the right people backing her up, and she got the city council to pass a county ordinance to cancel the show."
"They can't do that! It's…it's…art! Rocky Horror Picture Show isn't just a musical…it's an experience. Isn't that why we have the first amendment in this country?"
"Yeah, well, at least they're still having a midnight showing out at the Lofton Theater, but they just won't have a live production."
"NOOOO!" Kurt wailed. "That's in the West Lima Crack District. My baby would be taken apart in five seconds flat on that side of town."
"Well, hopefully they'll have it up again next year."
"They'd better. I was going to try out for Frank-N-Furtur next year when I turned eighteen! Don't they understand tradition in this town?"
"You'd-a made a great Frank, too," his father assured him. "But personally, Kurt, I think you'd-a-made a better Riff-Raff."
"Riff-Raff? But Dad, he's the bad guy!"
"No, Kurt…he's the bad-ass. There's a difference."
"But he kills Frank-N-Furtur in the end!"
"And?" his father countered "Frank-N-Furtur sings ONE song and dies at the end."
"Face it Dad, the real reason you object to me playing Frank-n-Furtur is the corset, the heels, and the lipstick."
"Hey! Don't start that crap with me, Kid! The only reason I banned tiaras and knee-length sweaters was because I didn't want some jack-ass startin' somethin'. You get enough crap at school as it is."
"How did you…?"
"I've got my sources. Plus, I've got EYES, Kurt. I can tell when you've been roughed up and try to cover it up with make-up. Did you think I don't notice when you come home wearing a different outfit than the one you left in? Because I pretty much figured out a long time ago, it's 'cause some idiot decided to toss you into a dumpster."
"It's been better since Glee," Kurt defended.
"I know, and thank God Finn and the rest of those guys on the team are kinda lookin' out for you. But sometimes, Kurt, you've just gotta play the game."
"You mean play it straight?" Kurt seethed, arms folded, and blue eyes glaring at Burt reminding the elder Hummel of his son's mother.
"That's not what I meant and you know it. You're my boy and I don't give a rat's ass what you want to walk out of the house in. Did I say anything when you put on that ridiculous powdered wig and those giant shoes?"
"That was for an ASSIGNMENT! It was a form of expression. All of it was an effort to tap into my inner-Gaga, and besides, Finn saved me…" the words were out of his mouth before he could stop them.
"Finn saved you from what?" Burt demanded, looking his son square in the eye.
"Oh, you know, the usual."
"I hate that it's usual for you. I hate that you just…accept it."
"I can't change the way people think, Dad."
"Like hell you can't, Kurt. You wanna be Frank-N-Furtur? Fine. Sing Sweet Transvestite next year with my blessing. But if you want to get out of your box, if you want to show people what I know you're capable of…go out for Riff-Raff."
"Because yes, showing people I can be a psychotic murderer is SUCH a good idea," Kurt said with an acerbic smile plastered across his features. "Seeing as how most people in this town already think I'm a child molester."
"Oh come on. There's nothing psychotic about being bad-ass. You may have preferred Barbies over GI Joes when you were little, but you're still a Hummel. Which means you're just bad-ass enough to pull it off. And you've gotta admit. If you're Riff-Raff, you sing Time Warp. People who don't have a clue about Rocky Horror know that song. Time Warp beats Sweet Transvestite any day of the week."
Kurt hated to admit it, but his dad did have a point there.
"And Riff-Raff makes it or breaks it," Burt added. "He's not JUST the bad guy. He's the host, he's the back-up singer. He's the glue that holds the whole thing together. Frank? Frank's got two costumes. The corset and the hospital gown, and not even Tim Curry could pull off the hospital gown. You wanna be the guy who wears the corset, heels and fishnets?"
"I've already got the perfect shade of red," Kurt said, not able to hide the disappointment in his voice.
"Hey, your call…but if you ask me, Frank's just a one-dimensional one-hit-wonder. Just one song, two costumes, and that's all there is to him. But if you still wanna do that? It's your call. But you are so much more than that. Hey? Why don't you invite your friends over for a midnight viewing in your basement this weekend? We'll have prop-bags for everyone and everything."
That weekend, all except Puck (who still had a few weeks to go in juvie), Brittany and Santana (who refused to come on account of Brittany's phobia of toast) and Sam (who nobody liked except Quinn) were gathered in Kurt's basement, throwing rice, shouting "Asshole/slut," "Group sex!" throwing toast, shouting "BULWINKLE!" raising newspapers up over their haeads for the rain scene.
"Susan Serandon's kinda hot," Mike observed as soon as her character came on screen. Tina swatted him.
"Yeah, but dude, now she's like…old." Finn said. "This movie was made way before we were even born."
"Oh, Finn! You'd be the perfect BRAD!" Rachel squealed, and as much as Kurt hated to admit it, his soon-to-be stepbrother did kind of remind him of that particular character. "I simply HAVE to be Janet. I realize that the role is slightly beneath my abilities, but with our undeniable chemistry, I don't think my superior talent would be harmful to the production in any way." She gasped audibly. "We have to put this show on at school."
"Yeah, right," Artie said. "Like Figgins would allow something like that to happen at McKinley."
"And if Figgins doesn't stop us," Quinn added, "the parents will."
"Probably a good thing, anyway," Finn said. "We'd have to be on stage in our underwear,"
"I like you in just your underwear," Rachel said.
Finn blushed. Kurt was sure that everyone was fighting the urge to vomit like he was.
"Hey Kurt!" Mercedes said. "You'd be great as Frank! Nobody'd rock a corset like you. And I know you've already got the perfect shade of red."
"Actually, I was kind of thinking I'd rather be Riff-Raff," Kurt replied, hoping that his father was nowhere near to hear him.
But upstairs, Burt had heard his son's declaration and grinned.
"That's my boy!"