Disclaimer : I don't own. Are you Suprised? ;)
As a kid I had wanted to ride the waves like Sando. Beat the odds. I wanted to be that man on the cover of the magazine. For me it wasn't just about that, nor was it about Loonie. It was about the innocence of it all. The beauty of the ocean crashing against a grain of sand. The power of a wave pulling you down. The thrill of the air whipping through your hair and the pain of burnt skin peeling from your shoulders. It is something words can not explain. it's not just the feeling, it's the moment, the one you want to freeze in time. There is nothing spectacular about it, nothing life altering. It's not art, it's not magic but sometimes when your standing there at the top it feels like it. I know my life now is the best I could hope for, it's not prefect and I have ruined so much of it. Surfing is the one thing I still find solace in.
Out here in the ocean I feel as young as I did when Loonie and me first dragged those boards down to the sea. They were nothing like they are today and yet I find myself missing them in all their imperfections. The new board glide through and dancing is a breeze. The salt in the air and the call of the gulls fill the empty sky and I know, I am home.
The only problem out here is it still brings back the memories of the years I'd rather forget. It's hard sometimes not to dwell in the past. That ships sailed. Loonie is dead and so is Eva. Loonie who was to full of life to be gone but was to reckless to live. Eva and her need for more then she would ever have again. She was dying from the moment I meet her, I just couldn't see that. I didn't want too. It's funny how the seasons change and yet I say the same. I am not fifteen anymore, the wrinkles craved into my face and the ache in my bones reminds me that but I am still the boy I always was. Longing for something more then I would ever have. I am happy, I have my family back but there is that small part of me that still wonders. I wonder about Sando. Mainly I think about the child, I still wonder if maybe he was mine.