Part 1- I Go To Sleep
"Will, you ever going to speak to me again?" I whispered into the phone, begging to hear even her breathing, but it was useless, whatever fragile relationship we once had, it was long gone. Our once thriving and never-ending debates died and turned into awkward silences and shaking of a hand.
I wasn't surprise, I shouldn't be, lying and cheating, I would have cut myself off too.
What did took me by surprise was the sharp pain in my heart, the throbbing in my head that didn't allow me to sleep, to eat, to breath.
The shaking movement of my fingers that didn't allow me to write, and all my sentences just turned into a messy paragraph of one blurry mistake.
I was surprised that my heart kept on beating, without you, without you to order it to, without you to beg it to after a long painful day, full of ugly, terrible surprises.
I was surprised that I still walked, with broken legs, without you to be my crutches. But most of all, I was surprised that I wanted to live, with or without you.
But mostly with you.
"Please call me back," I managed to say, tears sliding down my cheek as I hung up the phone.
Will she ever call? Probably not, nothing can fix a broken promise, nothing can heal a betrayal.
Still my stupid heart kept on beating, still my shaking fingers kept on writing, still my throbbing head kept on hoping.
And when I fell asleep at night, I saw her, I saw her saying I forgive you.