Recently have been feeling this. One shot.

Disclaimer: I do not own Austin & Ally.

"Cancer?" she asks, devastation dripping from her words.

"Terminal cancer," they confirm.

Austin jumped onto his bed feeling so content. He was living out his dreams; record deal, tours, fans…everything he had ever hoped for. The best part was that he could do it with his three best friends: Dez, Trish, and Ally.

His heart skipped a beat when he even thought of her name. That girl was the center of his stardom, the reason why he was even in the business. She was his songwriter, his partner, and probably the one he could trust the most. Austin didn't know if things could ever be intimate again, because he knew she was scared. Heck, he was scared too, but he wanted to give it a shot. But, obviously, she made her choice, and he had to go along with it. As long as they were friends, he was just glad that she was by her side. Nothing could change that.

Austin didn't want to be distant. Really, he didn't. In his defense, he had to be doing studio time with Jimmy, practicing his choreography, and schoolwork too. Songwriting time was hard to come by. It had been a while since the duo had some down time to work together, but he knew Ally was efficient enough to work alone. He knew that she understood all of things that was going on. They still talked, of course, but the little time of her behind the counter and him playing in the store became very rare. With Cassidy back in town, he'd also been trying to catch up with her.

Austin had been noticing the difference. Trish and Dez have been too, but no one ever brought it up, and Ally sure didn't either. He had seen her in the hallways, or at lunch time, even when he passed by the store. It's like her shoulders have been sagging, her eyes have been drooping, and she was looking lost without her steady glow of shine. Ally was tired. It's like there was something keeping her from sleep, or overbearing work. He knew that she was a perfectionist in school, but he thought she knew how to manage her time to keep herself healthy. He had been meaning to thoroughly visit her, to see what has become of her, but whenever he appears, she goes into camouflage. She straightens her back and fixes her hair, and smiles. Ally chatters on like normal but with more drive. Her problem is driving him crazy with curiosity but it's not like she lets him ask. Besides, he was still busy. Rising stardom had a price, and that price was time. Austin figures that she would come to him if anything was really wrong.

Austin was about to preform one of the biggest concerts in the history Miami. Tonight they were seating about two thousand people in the arena, and he had to admit that he was scared. Anything and everything possible that could go wrong was zooming through his mind, but he knew that with his friends there, he could do anything. Whenever he felt troubled before something big happened, they were always there to comfort him and assure him of his success. Unfortunately, his special songwriter was running late for an odd reason. Austin was kind of mad at her for ditching him at a time he needed most, but she promised she would come. She promised, and she never breaks her promise. Austin did wish she would hurry though, because when she was with him, everything was better. His singing would be better, his dancing would be better…even him as a whole would be better.

Austin felt let down. He had that big night, the night to show himself off to his two thousand fans, but Ally never came. She never bothered to show up, didn't even bother to call back. Austin was sure he blew up Ally's phone with his 20 calls and 34 text messages (When he pushed send it would be 35 messages!) but he was too mad to care. She was supposed to be here! Ally was supposed to be with him and encourage him! What was more important than one of his big nights? Dez and Trish were in attendance, even his own parents! Everyone praised him and told him how good his performance was, but he did not get to hear the praise he wanted most.

Austin was driving furiously to Ally's house. If she was not going to answer her phone, then he was going to find out what was happening himself. He hurriedly ran to her door and knocked sharply. After a long pause, he heard a faint voice. "Come in," the person croaked.

He opened the door and found Mr. Dawson sitting in his recliner in his living room. He had the TV on, but it didn't look like he was paying any attention to it. His hands were folded on his lap and it looked as if Mr. Dawson had not shaved overnight.

"Mr. Dawson?" Austin asked hesitantly.

"Austin," he said softly.

"What's…wrong?"

The old man sighed. Austin could see his aging face, wrinkles and what not. He looked very tired, the same as Ally. Austin wondered why neither of them have not been getting sleep. "It's Ally," he replied after a while. Then he coughed, as if covering up the sound of his sob.

"What about Ally?!" Austin asked anxiously. "What happened? I had that big concert yesterday, and I got kind of mad that she never came. She hasn't even been answering my calls!"

Mr. Dawson slowly rose his head and looked Austin straight in the eye. He uttered some words that would haunt Austin for a very long time.

"Austin…Ally's gone."

He visited her grave. After a long and delayed wait, he decides to go. He knows he has been putting it off. He didn't want to; really, he wanted to pay his respects, but something in him couldn't. Something couldn't bring himself to visit her final resting place. If he did, it was like all of it was real.

That her death was real. That she had really had terminal cancer. That he would never see his innocent songwriter sitting at the counter doodling in her songbook. That he could never what-if himself at night, imaging their future together. He could not bring himself to finally admit-Ally Dawson was gone.

When he got there, he just sat down heavily on the grass. Right in front of her grave, and just stared. He stared, not at a particular thing, not for a particular reason, but just because his mind was wandering aimlessly. Why he could not focus, he did not know. It was like he was subconsciously blocking everything out, not wanting to process his surroundings. But finally, after enormous effort, he finally laid his eyes on her grave. "Allyson Marie Dawson. Born 11-29-97. Died 12-14-13. Singer, songwriter, daughter, best friend," the grave read. And that's when he broke down. That's when Austin officially lost it, when all of his tears he had been holding was let out. When all of it, just all of it, struck him. His Ally was dead. And this puny grave had no match to compare to her; how smart and talented she was, how delicate, dedicated, and beautiful. This sorry excuse did not honor her, did not justify her absence. Even her songs that she wrote for him did not qualify for the right. The whole world did not know who this walking miracle was-this Ally Dawson. They did not know who had briefly graced them on Earth. And then he got mad.

Got mad at her, leaving him here, having to live without her. Not even saying goodbye, not even announcing her diagnosis. He got mad at cancer, stupid cancer, which marooned him without his beloved songwriter. He got mad at the doctors for not doing all that they could to save her. He got mad at the world, this cruel world, for the terrible fate that she was given. But most of all, he was mad at himself. He was mad that he did not give her the proper attention and affection. He stupidly took for granted what was the best thing in his life.

Sort of depressing. Forgive me.

Review?