Disclaimer: Boku no hero Academia/My hero academia doesn't belong to me.
Sorry if this is difficult to read, I still learning English and I don't have a beta reader.
This is part of a Tumblr prompt called "Yantober."
Remember: This behavior is toxic, if somebody you know is saying or doing stuff like this, call out immediately.
Warnings: Yandere Todoroki Shouto, Unhealthy Obsession.
My World
How do you know you are in love?
That is the question Todoroki Shouto had in his mind for quite a while, to the extent that he wasn't paying too much attention to the class right now; not that it was an actual worry anyways. He was between the five best in the class and close enough to Yaoyoruzu to ask for her notes if he needed to; besides, sooner he resolves this, sooner he would go back to normal.
Hopefully.
Now he had realized that even if he is now fifteen, that kind of emotions were somehow far to grasp for him. Wasn't a complete surprise; without any friends before UA, almost being incapable of seeing any of his family besides his father, the idea of how that feels somehow sounds odd for him. It was supposed to be natural, an emotion you will know since your a baby for your family, because you should love them.
His Father? He hated him, with all his heart, how he could not? After all he had done to him? To his mother? All he wants to do is live free from him, from his expectations and desires. Mom? Is…difficult at this point, is almost hard to remember her face, so many years had passed, and those feelings had become blurry for a mix of sadness and guilt. His siblings? He was closer to Fuyumi, not that he had the opportunity to talk a lot to her, maybe if his dad was not around, otherwise, she would become like one of the maids in the house.
His life had been away from that feeling, too. Since his scar, the only thing he cared was become the best, not for his dad, but to show him he can do it without him; to make him know that he could be a better hero than him just using his cold side. So, love wasn't something he wanted to expect in the future, maybe happiness once he would prove his point; because that was also lacking in his life.
He never expected he could get it before that, and less than would happen in the middle of a fight.
His eyes wander in the room, to the same place as always, when Midoriya seats; left and a couple of seats in the front, taking notes and muttering, so focus in his own world that he had never caught his glare before. And even if it just a little, he smiles.
At that's the thing, smiling? He didn't do it, not before, not since his childhood was murderer; he had no reason to do it, living in a prison called home with the sole purpose of be stronger in a training that had bring countless scars, both to his body and his mind. Yet, him with something as normal as studying, could make him to do it.
And that, is confusing.
In the beginning, the reason was for remembering his fight, his screams "It's your power, isn't it?" The first time in his life that he forgot Endeavor, truly tasting a life without the pain and suffering he had created for him; to the point to remember the honest smile of her mother, and why he actually wished to be a hero in the first instance, not for revenge, but to help others. How a memory like that would not give you at least a grin?
Later, other thoughts started to come when he saw Midoriya. Things like how he rushed to save Iida, knowing the hero killer was way stronger and with no guarantee that he would not try to kill him; rushing to save Bakugou even if he had been meaning to him for years. He was noble, to the point he was almost ashamed of himself; for how his reasons to go the school were so selfish in comparison, and with his actions not near as pure as his.
He thought that admiration could be the reason, yet he was brushed away fairly quickly. He had praise All Might too, and it was obvious how his deeds were far more than the green haired guy; somehow, the meaning was different; against any logic, everything Deku had done was more important to him that all the achievements the first hero had done in those years.
Friendship was what he expected, however; he had a good relationship with Yaoyoruzu and Iida too, and them don't feel as valuable as him. He cherishes them and likes to be at their side; on the other hand, how the hero-he considers him one know-was making feel him, was totally different.
And that is why he was asking himself what love was, perhaps, it was his feelings for him were?
Hard to tell, when he didn't have experience for even family love, less romantic one.
Somehow, the bell rings and everyone stands ups; and Todoroki needed to blink a couple of times before realizing this, still seeing Midoriya. This one finally notices his glare, and looks at him with a smile that was brighter than the sun "Todoroki-kun! You want to take lunch together?"
He knows the answer even before he asked.
"How do you know you are in love?" He questions without actually thinking about it, with Midoriya spitting his water and Uraraka coughing, getting redder too quickly to be just for choking.
"That was surprising coming for you, may I ask why?" Asui didn't react that impressed, even if her words say otherwise; if somebody was stoic like him, is her. Still, doesn't feel too comfortable sharing his doubts, especially with Midoriya close.
"I was just curious, I…don't know how that is, that is why I wanted to ask" It wasn't a total lie, he wanted to know and didn't know how it was, yet the reason wasn't only that.
"W-Well, I'm not sure? I mean, people say things like blushing and smiling always when you are with that person" Uraraka spoke, she was shaking a little her rice ball to the point that maybe it would start to crumble. Anyways, something she says got his attention.
"Smiling?" That was one of the reasons he got into this predicament in the first place; he for sure did that a lot at his side, even if it was just small enough that others would not be able to tell, or that his mood lift and was impossible to others to read his mind. That was a good point indeed.
"I can't say I had experience deep feelings for somebody, no like that, perhaps, is how important is that person to you?" Iida contributed, and that was a good point as well. He knew he was more than just a friend, then what about others? How much he was for him?... Again, difficult to tell when you don't have too much people to compare.
"I…I don't know if a point to compare, that" He admitted, seeing his soba because that was too personal; not names or explanation, but it was like revealing his soul, didn't matter how little he was actually revealing.
"Well, how you will feel if that person is suddenly away? If you lost them?" That was another suggestion, this time from Asui. His mind goes blank with this one.
Lost Midoriya…that would probably mean been alone, stop feeling that warm inside him, stop the little smiles at his side. He knew why he wanted to be a hero, yet, he really could go on and follow that idea without him? How he could not fall in that abysm of sorrow, after finally tasting what happiness was after years? It would be far worse; because he was oblivious at those positive feelings, and losing that all at once would be even more painful.
He doesn't notice the people talking to him, or any other stuff around him for that matter; until he feels somebody touching his shoulder and the worried voice of his love one "Todoroki-kun!"
"Huh?"
"Todoroki-kun, you are crying" Iida explained, with his voice showing concern and shock for this; nobody had seen him being too emotional at all, less like this. The dual user blinked and touch his check, he had some tears there.
"Sorry, I didn't realize" That was odd in him, he could count with the fingers of one hand how many times he had cry since his Mother was away from him, two of them being related to Midoriya, too. How he could move him that much?
His eyes switch to an object in front of him, a handkerchief, and a scarred hand that meaning to much to him to not recognized; when he sees his face, he had a comforting smile "Sorry Todoroki-kun, this really means a lot to you, I guess we didn't notice"
"Is fine, you didn't do anything" That was true, he didn't say anything after all; of course, he would anyways say sorry when he hasn't anything to worry about. He accepts the handkerchief; he wasn't crying that bad honestly, yet the idea of having something that belonged to him…that was also a lot to him, too. He moves from his seat, getting up "If you excuse me, I will go to the bathroom for a second."
Nobody said anything, and he didn't saw back and still knew they were looking uneasy on him, and the glare that was more meaningful for him, the fact that Midoriya was scared for him, was making his heartbeat got faster.
Once in the bathroom, the closed the door behind him and rested his back on it, seeing the handkerchief that he had left him, only a little wet. That belonged to him, and he let him have it for even a minute because he was worried; his condition wasn't bad, really, he had seen the freckled guy cry for more for less than him. Still, his hand in his shoulder and his mouth filled with his name-
He put the piece of cloth in his chest, close to his heart; he wished that object was his hand, so much; he wanted to be him close to him "He is important for me, no, more than that" He opens his eyes, in realization "He means the world for me."
Todoroki imagines for a moment his smile, his voice, his touch; and that, was more than enough to make feel everything was fine.
Is like, the third time I do this with Todoroki? Like him saying how much he loves Izuku? I thought about doing this with somebody else, but I truly love tododeku a lot and Todoroki yandere.
Yeah, I know this doesn't feel that yandere, but I think being so in love with somebody that you can't imagine your life without that person is part of the obsession a yandere could feel.
And I know, bad title and really late-like, in 20 minutes will pass the curfew-. I actually was stuck with this because, all my words have obsessive behavior, what the fuck I can get? Well, at least I liked this.
The next one is...Jealousy, well, that can't be that hard, right?...right?
See ya.