AN: I've seen a lot of depressed reader and Negan or anxious reader and Negan things - I don't think I could personally write a Negan/You type story since I'm always a fan of characters but this is about the closest I've currently gotten. I wanted to try and make actual Negan comfort but also not sure if it's Negan comfort kinda deal? Either way - half of this was written slightly sleep deprived but it's been in my head for too long and I had to get it out. Don't know if there's more to this story but I knew I wanted to end on that line I did.
"I don't know...you know I love you. And the sex is amazing. But I didn't know - I mean - why didn't you tell me?"
Naira gulped, staring at the wrinkles in the bedsheet rather than her girlfriend Sharon, who was sitting at the head of the bed. Sharon was sitting cross legged, with her arms crossed in anger under her chest. They were both naked but considering the last three months of them being together, that part of the situation did not phase Naira too much. Yes, Sharon had been the first long term relationship she had found herself in since the undead started being a thing but even with that in mind, she had not expected to care so much for the redhead when she had first joined the Saviors.
"Hello?! I'm talking to you!" With that red hair did come that famous temper. Naira looked up and stared into Sharon's green eyes sadly.
"I….I'm sorry. I know I should have told you. I was just afraid you would...doubt me."
Sharon just raised her eyebrows and Naira felt her stomach drop even more.
"If you really knew me, you would know I wouldn't care. And I don't care now, that's not the reason I'm upset."
"I know," Naira's voice was down to a whisper compared to Sharon's shouting. Naira tucked her brown hair behind her ear twice. It was a nervous habit.
"What do you know? Do you know what it's like to get strange looks for almost two months and not understand until someone asked me if I have a dick in my pants, since you used to sleep with fucking James?"
Naira's eyes closed and she could feel her face burning red in embarrassment.
Sharon continued. "And then find out your girlfriend is bi and didn't tell you and that she has a higher ranking ex that she also didn't tell you about." She moved her hands to grip onto her knees and Naira tried her best not to watch as her breasts sagged down. "I get it. James is a dick. He's probably the one spreading this shit because there's only like ten or so guys that give a shit about who you sleep with nowadays but those guys all happen to be Saviors, just like me. Look at me when I'm talking!"
Naira opened her eyes and looked back at the other woman. Sharon's eyes were teary and her breath had become thicker.
"They are my colleagues, Naira. It's already bad enough being a female Savior, but a gay female is double. So I really would have appreciated a heads up. Do you know that for the past two months, I thought maybe I was a shitty Savior and that's why all these whispers were going on? I thought it was my fault and turned out, it's fucking yours!"
At this, Sharon jumped off the bed, still naked and headed towards the door of the bedroom.
"Sharon, please - "
"Don't fucking talk to me. Keep the clothes."
And with that, she was gone.
The next week was the worst Naira had ever had in the factory.
She worked the kitchens, and had duties between gathering food from the gardens, to cooking to food delivery to soldiers on duty. She was an overall food manager, one of three. That being so, she had a routine down and was always found the kitchen, garden and sometimes the armory. And for the past three months, she would always be with Sharon. It was very noticeable when they went their separate ways. James was the first to notice and his other Savior friends were quick to follow suit.
It started with food deliveries. Naira handed out some sandwiches during a Savior meeting that included Sharon, James, his friends, and the top three men of the Sanctuary: Negan, D and Simon. Sharon didn't so much as look at her and as Naira left, James got up as well, muttering something about a bathroom. But instead he grabbed her arm out in the hallway. Naira refused to face him but that didn't stop James from whispering in her ear from behind.
"You finally get tired of the feeling of fingers, huh? Need the real deal?"
"Fuck off," she had shrugged him off and headed back to the kitchens.
But soon, Naira found Saviors to be everywhere. From the hallway close to her room, to the hall between the kitchen and the garden - there would always be some man, grinning at her and whisper things about dick. And how she needed now. And how she had picked the wrong time to experiment with sex - now she would never get laid again.
And it was wearing her down.
She had been sitting cross legged in her bed - a rare luxury but she had earned it having been at the factory from the start - staring that the opposite wall in misery on the last day of the week when there was a knock on the door.
But it was not a normal knock - it was some vague pattern that seemed familiar. Almost like a song.
And there was only one person who would have bothered to knock like that. Someone who didn't even knock that often.
"It's open," She called out and wasn't surprised to see Negan strut into her room, closing the door behind him. His usual black boots squeaked as he walked to stand at the foot of the bed. With just a white tee and blue jeans, he didn't look as threatening as usual.
It was a little strange, she supposed. It was like someone had copy and pasted the wrong person in the wrong place. Naira had gotten so used to seeing him in meetings, in his bedroom or walking the factory floor, she would have never pictured him in her small bedroom.
"Hey, sweet buns. Missed you at poker night."
Naira forced her face to remain neutral. She had missed poker night but mainly because she was too used to playing with Sharon. Sharon would hold the cards and Naira would help and laugh as together they won or lost points. It had become their sort of game night. She had no desire to play without her old partner in crime.
But she was more confused. Sharon and Naira had played several times with Negan and some other Saviors - and had played fairly, won some and lost some. But Sharon was always the holder of the cards; the real expert. Naira considered herself the femme in the corner, usually a little intoxicated.
There was no reason to miss her at poker night.
"Wasn't feeling well," she muttered, looking at his face for a sign of why he was really here.
"Weird," Naira found her eyes looking more at the white of his t-shirt instead of his eyes as he continued to speak, "you look fucking fine to me. What - you got a fever? You got a cold? You should be knocked out by now - it's fucking midnight, don't you know?"
Naira's eyes widened and she turned to look out the window. Sure enough, it was pitch black outside.
"Oh so you don't know. Where have you been since dinner, anyway? Not resting clearly."
She took a deep breath and tried not to look too annoyed. It seemed obvious now that he knew something. She just didn't understand why he had come to find her.
"No, clearly not." She said sarcastically.
"Whoa, we got a live one, don't we?" Negan was always quick witted and normally Naira would find that amusing but tonight she just wanted to sulk in peace. She tried to zoom out as he continued his rebuttal. "You know, staring at a fucking wall looking like you got your shit kicked right in doesn't really help anyone? It just leaves my food underseasoned, one of my other women snapping at everyone like she's on the rag and you looking sad as shit."
"You missed the part when your men harass me day in and day out." She didn't know why she was being so open with him. She had no reason to. She knew he didn't really care.
"Yeah, so I've noticed." His voice was lower then. Naira looked up at his face and noticed it was somewhat serious. His hands were grabbing at the bedframe near him as he leaned more towards her. "And distracted men are not very useful. So I went and reminded them not to be so damn distracted by a girl eating another girl's pussy."
At this, her eyebrows rose before she could stop them and Negan chuckled at her expression.
"It's like they never have appreciated a good porno. Weird shit."
"You...reminded them…?"
"Yes, ma'am. The manly equivalent of some of that delicious freaky shit you used to do with Sharon I'm sure. Y'all were wild in the beginning with all those bruises, don't think I didn't notice. Tell me, is she a secret submissive bitch in the sheets? You like to ride her face or?"
Her face burned again red, partly from embarrassment and partly from the frustration of knowing the ridiculous things he was taunting her with would no longer be happening. But she didn't know how to respond. She didn't get why Negan of all people was here, whispering dirty talk about her ex while she cried. Rubbing salt into the wound.
Negan did not seem discouraged by her lack of response or her now silent tears. Instead he nodded towards the bed. "May I?"
She nodded. Naira felt she couldn't exactly say no.
"You sure?"
She paused. They were still making eye contact and she could only imagine how she looked with puffy red eyes and mucus running down her nose. She was never a pretty crier.
"Yeah. Would be nice." She said simply. She didn't have the guts to elaborate on how she missed being close to much of anyone. Particularly anyone that wasn't whispering into her eyes about how she needed their dick. She watched numbly as Negan walked over from the foot of the bed to sit on the edge of the bed. Without saying anything, he began to reach down towards his feet. She heard some shuffling and then was nearly knocked in the head when Negan's spidery legs suddenly swung from the side of the bed to next to her left knee. She gave him a questioning look and he just winked at her. He was now half lying down in front of her and blocking her view of the wall. He held up his torso with his elbows as his legs fully extended to the head of the bed where she sat. His feet were covered in black socks and rest on top of one of her pillows. It wasn't exactly an invasion of space but it had not been what she had expected.
"You said it would be nice." He replied, even though she hadn't said anything.
"I didn't think you would take half of my bed."
"You wanna save space, baby?"
Naira glared at him and again his eyes dulled from their joking glitter. "Alright, alright. My bad. I didn't come here to make you fucking cry more. You look hotter when you're not crying."
"Sir, I - "
"None of that sir crap, Naira. Don't think I don't know who you are. You've been here a while," Naira blinked through her tears. She wiped her nose with the back of her hand and just continued to stare at the man. She didn't think he would remember. "Yeah, you've been here from when we first took this place. And the happiest I've seen you is when you were doing the nasty with Sharon these past months. It's pretty fucking obvious."
His leg gave her left knee a small nudge and she jumped a bit in surprise.
"And more importantly, Sharon was really happy with you. Have you seen her this week - she's a damn mess. And my men are distracted. And my food sucks. Do you see all these problems, Naira?"
She was staring at his knee now instead of answering. He nudged her again and she turned to look at him.
"These are all problems you and I can solve together." Naira's stomach somehow felt better at his tone. His voice had that familiar menace behind it and it was a relief to finally see the motive as to why he was here. This made sense. The other idea - the idea of Negan comforting someone. That didn't.
"How?" She asked. Her voice was more confident than she expected.
"I whipped up all my men into shape. They won't bother you again. And if they do, you fucking come to me and I will put them to the iron for not following my fucking orders. Honestly they deserve it anyway all things considered - I just figured a public punishment at midnight wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea. People gotta fuck sometime," Here Negan smiled and Naira would have groaned had her whole body not felt like lead. "You go and have a sit down with Sharon. Do whatever it is you women do to be friendly again. Sit on her face. Something. Figure it out."
Already, Naira was shaking her head. Her lips were trembling and she could feel her nose wanting to run again. James would only get worse, she thought. Sharon hates her -
"Aw no, baby. Don't cry again." Negan was shaking his head but made no effort to move closer to her. "I fucking solved everything - you just gotta talk to the woman you've been attached to the hip with for months. Should be a piece of cake."
She covered her face with her hands, feeling strangely vulnerable as her body shook. Her breath was now back to hiccups and she could feel a ball moving up from her stomach. It was tight and it hurt. She heard shifting then and the warmth from Negan's legs was gone. There was a dip in the mattress and the warmth was back but it was on either side of her now. She didn't want to look.
"I want to see all my people happy. I know that's hard to believe for someone like you but it is true." His voice was coming from directly in front of her now and she could tell his head was close to her face. "At least tell me why you are crying, eh? You don't think she'll still want you?"
"It's….It's…" Naira's breathing was hindering her speech and the words were coming choppy. She peeled her now wet hands from her face and rested them in her lap but she kept her eyes closed. "They're not going to stop. They think me and Sharon are a joke. That I didn't - that I didn't love her - that we were just fuck buddies - that we could never be more. They…they don't get that I like both…even you think so."
She felt the ball in her stomach unravel in relief and she let go of a long breath. Saying her fears out loud somehow felt good.
Her eyes flew open when Negan suddenly grabbed her upper arms and she saw that he was sitting directly in front of her now, just as cross legged. His arms were on either side of her and his hands were rubbing the side of her arms up and down.
"Stop that."
And he did.
"Sorry. Old habit. I've always been a bit of a toucher," he mumbled, pulling his hands away and waving them out by his sides in apology. "Niara...look at me."
And she did, feeling a deja vu to the last time she had spoken with Sharon. His eyes were much darker.
"Fuck them. Fuck them right up their asses and see how much they like it." Niara blanched at the quick switch back to vulgar language but continued looking at his face. "Their dicks will still get hard regardless, I'm sure."
He paused. He seemed to be looking for her to respond again but she kept silent.
"Who cares what they think? Are you sleeping with them? Are they your family? Even if they were, you're still not sleeping with them so why does it matter? And if they are none of those things - not even your friends, then why the fuck are you cowering in your room crying over what they think? I'm sure as shit they are not thinking about you right now."
He pointed at her. His index finger was dangerously close to her chest to the point it looked as if he had wanted to touch her but resisted the urge.
"The only person that matters - besides me because I'm your boss," he smiled again and this time, Naira felt her mouth twitch a bit at the humor, "is the people you fucking care about and that care about you. And that bombshell redhead is one of those people. I know it, I know you're more than fuck buddies and I don't mind or care so long as you cook me some damn good lasagna every other Friday. That's all I care about - that and making sure you're happy enough to do so and Sharon's happy enough to defend what we got going."
"...that's gotta be the nicest and most rude things you've ever said to me."
Negan laughed then, and Naira felt the movement in the bed as he did so.
"That's what I've been looking for."
He got up just as swiftly as he had entered her bed. He knelt down and put his boots back on without further comment. As he did so, Naira just stared as his back. She was a little in shock. She wasn't sure if Negan had just kindly told her to make Sharon happy or gave her the most fucked up pep talk.
Hesitantly, she touched his back with her hand and felt his body shift a bit as she did. He sat up then, legs hanging off the bed and looked back at her over his shoulder. He was smiling of course. She hated how straight his teeth were.
"You want me to stay, sweet buns?" He was back to the kitchen nickname he usually had for her and to Naira, it felt as if there was that shift back to normal. He was the crazy boss that burned people's faces off and she was just the food chick.
She shook her head. "Thank you." She said and he nodded, still smiling. He turned away from her and stood up off the bed. It swung back to life and Naira briefly missed the feeling of his weight on the bed. His warmth. But she knew it wasn't him that she really wanted.
Negan walked to the door, opened it and stepped out into the hallway before he eventually turned around to face her again. His face was now popping up between the door frame and the almost closed door. His hand was the only other part of him visible. He almost looked like a strange puppet.
His eyes were back to their usual joking attitude and his teeth was still somehow whiter than the paint of the door he was clinging to. "You know you look really fuckable when you cry."
And Naira let out a laugh, a sound she hadn't felt like doing in a week.