CHAPTER 1
Eijun finished the exam rather early for the first time. He didn't ask Kanemaru to help him, so he's really proud of himself now but he was not the first one to turn in his paper, maybe a dozen or so others had already finished. He observed their classroom and saw Furuya, taking the exam seriously.
Staring at his rival's face, Sawamura didn't expect that he will become the Ace on their second years. He finally beat Furuya for the position of Ace but he's not happy at all. Probably because coach Kataoka said he was disappointed on Sawamura's current performances.
"I am not sick…" Eijun murmured.
Before the second semester begin, Sawamura and his father and mother meet the doctor in Tokyo, whose job it is to deliver the most frightening news and who instantly becomes the grim reaper for Sawamura's eyes. That doctor is the person on the scene who Sawamura don't want to see again.
When his family found out about Eijun's condition two months ago, they hug him and they cried all night. They are trying to stay strong for Eijun but it's hard for them because sometimes his family just want to cry and let it all out and Eijun can't. He don't want to make them worry or scared.
"Tumor board?" Eijun's mother gasped.
"Who coined the term tumor board, I wonder…" Eijun's father said.
The room has a ceiling that is too low and getting lower every minute. There are windows on both sides of the room but they don't open. The doctor taps the stack of paper like a deck of cards, making sure the edges are neat. He will begin to recite directly from Sawamura Eijun's medical file.
Eijun will wish the doctor would stop, saying "My mistake, this isn't you. You and your parents can go now." but the doctor doesn't. The doctor will turn a page and lift his chin slightly, slowly breathing in through his nose and looking at Eijun appraisingly.
Eijun pretend to be looking in the doctor's eyes but actually he's staring at the window. Then, a nurse walk by the other side of the glass window, she doesn't look their way because she already knows what they are doing there. She's the person in that same nightmare to whom Eijun keep shouting for help but she can't hear him.
The doctor continues to read the lines in front of Sawamura family. Both Eijun's mother and father raised their eyebrows with disbelief but the brunette don't want to hear it anymore.
"...the octreotide scans lit up in these areas…the bulk of the carcinoid is...there are metastases to the liver...tumor on the left lung...blah blah blah…"
Finally, the doctor stops reading. He finished describing Eijun in the medical terms that the tumor board has agreed upon. Eijun's father whispered to him that he want to hit delete and go back to the old description of his son, the one without the medical terms mixed in but he can't.
The doctor is waiting for Eijun to say something but he's speechless. He asks the husband and wife if they have any questions, then they leave. Without exchanging a word, the family take the elevator down and walk out. Eijun know his legs are there but he can't feel them. His eyes well up at all the questions still running through his head that he didn't ask, like "How long do I have? Will I make it through the surgery?".
Having been told that Eijun should have the surgery immediately is more than enough information on how fast his father is driving. Eijun find that his mother hold his left hand while delivering a text message for his grandfather in Nagano using her one hand.
They decided to watch some baseball match to ease the pain. They walk silently toward the stadium seat. Eijun's gaze is resting on the baseball players and he let the tears come. He just sit there and cry. Eijun's father cries right beside him and he have never heard such sadness emerge from his father before.
"You need to drop out of school, Eijun…" Eijun's mother said while crying.
"H-How about my team? I want to play baseball!" Eijun said.
"Please understand us, Eijun. You are sick!" Eijun's father pleased.
"I…. I can't….!" Eijun groaned.
Time passes. Eijun stand and walk to the food court. The money tremble in the wallet under his shaking hand. He take order for his precious father and mother.
"Please, don't take me from my family. They needed me. I also wanted to see my friends and play baseball. I'm so afraid. I'm so heartbroken..." Eijun prayed while waiting for his order.
September, with a dazzling blue sky. During breakfast with Eijun's friends and teammates, the pain that had launched him into the emergency room in agony exactly two months before comes creeping back into his stomach. Eijun know this pain, he know right where it started and where it will end up. He observe everyone, they're too busy with their food.
"Ugh! I feel sick to my stomach…" Eijun said.
He know something is wrong. As soon as the pain begins to radiate around to his back, he push the plate across the table, positive that he cannot eat.
"...hmmm?" Furuya whispered.
"I wouldn't worry about it. We all hold our tension there, Eijun-kun." Haruichi said.
"Haha! You're just tired!" Miyuki smiled.
"Oi! Eat your food Sawamura or I will report you!" Kanemaru said.
He heard them saying, their delayed reaction to the pain of Eijun's stomach. He want them to be right but Eijun know that this is different.
They finished and running in the field with other members. Eijun run very slowly, he observe his teammates. With his 10 mile stare straight over their shoulders, looking blankly, Eijun absently watch them shouting "Go Seidou! Fight Seidou!".
They still had no idea about Sawamura's condition. Since Eijun mentally answering the pain that is besieging him, he actually grateful for their distraction. He's no longer present. He touch his stomach gently while running slowly, hoping the pain will go away as suddenly as it appeared.
Just about 7 hours later, the mysterious pain vanishes without a trace. Eijun was delighted and relieved that he suddenly fine after long hours of school and practices. Kuramochi leaves the dorm room to talk to the coach and 3 hours later, Eijun walk towards the vending machine to buy some drinks but a surprise awaits him back at the dorm.
No sooner do he step into the door, the pain which had totally vanished hits Eijun's abdomen like a popping balloon. It knocks the brunette to his knees, the soda bottle still in his hand. He gently lay it down on the ground and he try to breathe.
Suddenly, Asada walks in, "Hospital please!" Sawamura said while his kouhai is clearly confused.
"Sawamura-senpai?!" Asada said.
Immediately, Eijun was given some type of shot for pain relief. It seems that none of the nurse is able to make immediate heads or tails of his pain, so he was admitted. Then finally, one doctor arrived. He looks Eijun directly in the eyes. He puts a strong hand on the brunette's back when he begin to cry after being informed that Eijun will have to stop playing baseball as soon as possible.
"No way I can't play baseball anymore!" Eijun said to himself.
He lie awake in the hospital bed. He's missing his old self. The doctor releases him the next morning and he take the advice. Back at Seidou, Eijun was waiting for the doctor at the other end of the line to give him the results of the blood work that was sent to American clinic to verify the diagnosis at coach Kataoka's office.
"What's wrong, Sawamura?" Kataoka asked while Rei and coach Ochiai staring at the brunette's pale face.
Eijun keep staring at the windows, looking for answers. He confirm upon one solid look in the reflection of the window that he do not look very well.