Yogurt
"He must be up to something..." Fury trailed off uncertainly, stubborn even as they watched Loki in his cell, licking at yogurt languidly.
They, being the entire Avengers ensemble along with Nick Fury and Phil Coulson, Director and Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D respectively.
Loki, being the Norse God of Lies and Mischief, who is currently living up to his name as he consumes a pot of plain yogurt. With his shirt open. While eating the human treat messily, drops of white dripping down his chin and splattering onto his chest.
Oh God.
The audience gulped.
As if on cue, Loki turned his eye to the camera, and smirked. He leaned further back onto the side of his bed, exposing more skin on his pale chest. Scooping another spoonful of yogurt, the Trickster God lapped at the spoon, tongue sticking out to meet the cutlery before bringing it into his mouth, sucking and swirling his tongue the pink piece of plastic, (do not question the colour of the spoon), making sure that every little movement is clearly visible in the camera.
Everyone gulped again.
"Can someone tell me what he's doing?" Steve Rogers asked, voice sounding oddly squeaky.
"It would appear that he's eating yogurt, though rather... messily..." Nick Fury said slowly, after clearing his throat once. Or maybe twice. No one judged him.
"You mean, he's eating yogurt suggestively." There. Of course, it had to be the playboy billionaire Tony Stark to say what they all knew but did not want to admit.
...
All Hell broke loose.
"AHH! MY EYES! THEY BURN!" (Thor.)
"WHAT IS HIS PLAN!? WHAT IS HE TRYING TO DO!?" (Fury. Still stubborn.)
"..." (Natasha. Rendered speechless. Gaping.)
Steve passed out. Phil's blush should be registered as a new colour. The only people calm are Stark (Unsurprisingly, as he isn't known as a playboy for nothing, after all. The yogurt trick is familiar to him.) and Banner.
Wait. Calm?
Bruce's heart rate monitor sky-rocketed. High-pitched blips filled the room. Everyone stopped in their tracks.
A moment later...
"HULK! HULK'S ON THE LOOSE! ALERT! HULK IS ON THE LOOSE!"
Loki cackled in his cell. This worked better than he thought it would. The evil God calmly finished his yogurt and buttoned up his shirt.
Who would have guessed. Tony Stark's file had actually come in handy.
Inspiration: www .deviantart Loki-s-Yogurt-Night-328144529 (You know the site. Or you may search Loki's Yogurt Night doubleleaf on Google.)
Which I don't even dare look at.