So yeah, this story. I was sick (food poisoning) when I wrote this a while ago (and just got around to posting it now). I use this as an excuse as to why it's pretty angst y. Well that and the picture I have for the cover. That played a role in it too.
I'm a little worried about occ on Yami's part. It made sense when I was writing it. Now... *shrugs* But I wanted to post this story anyways because it can't be that bad. Plus I don't like throwing away this much work.
So I hope everyone likes this.
Yami jerks up as a silent scream escapes his lips. Slowly he regains his senses. He braces his back against the stone wall and lets out a sigh. The dreams are getting worse.
They had started after the duel with Kaiba during Duelist Kingdom. The one where Yami would have won if Yugi hadn't stopped him. But then again, Kaiba would probably be dead if he hadn't. They continued after Yugi had forgiven him.
They intensified after Bandit Keith had shattered the puzzle and Yugi almost died putting it back together. They gathered strength after the duel with Yami Marik. But now, after everything with the Seal of the Orichalcos is finished, the plagued him like never before.
What are they?
Dreams of losing Yugi. Nightmares really. They never seem to repeat themselves, mixing and matching all the different ways he could lose the teen. All the ways he could fail them.
He holds his breath as Yugi stirs in the real world. He doesn't wake up, just mumbles something and rolls over. Yami sighs in relief.
Even though he is in his soul room and Yugi is in his bed in the real world, the Pharaoh still has to be careful about waking the teen up. Needless to say, Yugi doesn't know about the dreams. Can neverknow about them.
The two of them had come a long way in their relationship. From being oblivious to each other to being each others best friend. Developing a bond like no other in the world.
But that didn't mean that they didn't have secrets from each other.
It wasn't exactly easy, seeing as they shared a mind and body after all, but it could be done. It got easier once they had time to fully explore the bond (you know, when no one was trying to take over the world or anything). It took a certain amount of energy to achieve though. The bigger the secret, the more energy it took. A fairly limiting factor.
So Yugi's secrets tended to be less in size and importance (comparatively anyways). Besides there wasn't much that Yugi felt he needed to keep from his other self. Yami on the other hand… well there are some things he rather not Yugi know about- at all. (And it wasn't like he didn't have the energy. He was the King of the Shadows for Ra's sake. That has to be useful for something).
The dreams are obviously one thing. There is nothing Yugi can do to stop them. They are a manifestation of Yami's own insecurity and fear. Yugi can't change the fact that his worst fear is losing the teen or causing Yugi to hate him.
Another thing is how dependent Yami is on Yugi. He tended to get rather vague on the topic if it came up. Yugi knows that Yami needs the Puzzle to survive. But that's about it. He has no idea that Yami cannot live without himeither. After all, that implies some things that Yami would prefer to stay hidden.
He doesn't know that not only is he Yami's best friend, he is his onlyfriend. Yugi's friends were truly more of acquaintances. Yes they were kind, supporting, and he could count on them… but Yami had to try hard to feel at ease with them. They just didn't click.
He doesn't know the full extent of Yami's feelings for him. He only knows, as previously stated, that he is Yami's best friend.
And saying that he doesn't feel anything but emptiness when the Puzzle is broken is just a flat out lie.
Yugi doesn't know any of these things and Yami intends to keep it that way.
The next morning Yugi is running around his room, getting ready for school.
"Are you sure I look ok?" Yugi asks.
Yami sis on the bed watching him. "Yes aibou. For the tenth time, there is nothing wrong with the way you look." he answers in amused exasperation. "What is going on today that has you so nervous?"
"Well..." a blush lights ups Yugi's face. "I'm going to ask Tea out." he says in a rush.
Yami blinks. His insides turn to ice, but he immediately pushes all of his emotions away. Yugi can't know his true reaction.
"Good for you." he says in a false encouraging voice.
Of course he had known about the teens crush for some time now. But he was hoping it would go away. That it would shift to a certain other person. But that is just wishfully thinking.
For a split second Yami hopes that Teas will say no. Yugi will turn to him for comfort and... NO! Yugi's happiness means everything to him. If it is at the cost of his own misery then so be it.
"But what if she rejects me?"
"She won't." She would be a fool to do so, Yami adds silently.
"Maybe this isn't such a good idea after all." Doubt creeps into Yugi's voice.
Why do the gods torment me so? To encourage him to do this. Yami mentally prepares himself.
"You like her don't you?"
Yugi nods.
"You've liked her for some time?"
Nod.
"You believe this could work out?"
Nod.
"And this will bring you joy?" No. Please don't say it will. Say someone else will. Please aibou. Please!
Nod.
Cracks start to appear on Yami's heart.
"Then follow your heart aibou." But why does it lead to her?
Yugi smiles brightly. "Thanks mou hitori no boku. I can always count on you, your the bestest friend ever!"
"No problem aibou."
Yugi runs downstairs to go to school. Yami retreats into the puzzle so his heart can break in silence.
Yugi nervously waits the tree outside when school has ended. He had asked Tea to meet him here during lunch, a blush on his face the whole time. Tea agreed readily, not realizing what was in store.
In the puzzle, Yami paces back and forth. The mindlink is shut enough that Yugi doesn't know what Yami is feeling, but open enough to talk to each other. As much as Yami doesn't want to witness this, he must. What if Yugi needs him?
Yugi's happiness has always been Yami's number one concern- besides his safety. Ever since he was rescued from the darkness and brought into the light, he vowed to always protect that light.
After all, what is he? A 3,000 year old spirit with no memories and no name. Yugi on the other hand... Yugi is an angel. Yami is brought out of his thoughts by voices.
"Yugi?" Tea asks.
"H-hey Tea. What's up?"
She shrugs. "Not much. What did you want to ask me that you didn't want to say in front of the two loons?"
Yugi grins in spite of his nerves. "Well I... I was wondering... ummm..."
Yami realizes he is going to have to interfere before Yugi loses his courage. He doesn't think he can handle this a second time. /You can do it aibou. Just think about how much you wanted this for so long. Don't doubt yourself./
/Right./
"If... if you wanted to go out with me?" he blurts out in a rush.
Tea blinks, absorbing what Yugi just asked her. "Really? You mean it?" she asks excitedly.
Yugi nods enthusiastically.
"Yes, yes I'd love to!" Tea squeals.
"Great! How about Friday night- dinner and a movie?"
"Sounds perfect. What time?"
"Six o clock?"
"Ok."
"Yeah, great! I'll pick you up."
Tea pulls him into a tight hug. "Thank you!" she says as she pulls away.
Yugi grins idiotically. "Oh crap!" he says. "I almost forgot, I have to help Grandpa in the store today. I have to go."
Tea nods. "Bye."
Yugi takes off running. He has a huge smile on his face. When he is far enough from school, he shouts "YES! I did it! She said yes. I can't believe she said yes!"
Yami watches this, a bittersweet feeling in the pit of his stomach. At least Yugi is happy (to say the least).
/See aibou, what did I tell you?/
/I know. I just can't believe it. Why is Friday so far away?/
/It is Wednesday now. I do not believe it is that far./
/Not for you anyway./
Oh if only you knew the truth aibou. For the spirit is both dreading the day and wishing for it to be done with. Fortunately Yugi is too occupied to see Yami's thoughts.
"Hello Grandpa!" Yugi calls when he walks into the Game Shop.
"Hello." Solomon greets. "My aren't you in a chipper mood today. What's the occasion?"
"I asked Tea out on a date and she said yes! We're going on Friday at six. Isn't that great?"
"Indeed it is?" he replies. He sounds happy enough, but there is a catch in his voice. Yugi doesn't notice it, but Yami does. "Now I need you to do inventory this afternoon. Would you like a snack first?"
"No thanks" Yugi drops his book bag out of the way and goes into the back room to get started.
During this time and the time before Yugi goes to bed, he talks to Yami about how excited he is, what to wear, what movie to go see, where to eat. Yami bears it all, playing his part perfectly. And if his smile is a bit faked and his laugh a bit forced, it goes unnoticed.
The Pharaoh has never been so relieved for Yugi to fall asleep. He projects himself out into the real world, watching the teen sleep. His face is peaceful and innocent, like always. The joy of the day still lingers in the small smile he wears. Yami's eyes soften. He brushes a bang off his face. Yugi doesn't move.
The tears start then, falling silently.
Oh aibou, how much you mean to me. The world is truly blessed to have you in it. And Tea... Tea even more so. A sob comes.
Yami retreats deep inside his soul room so he doesn't wake Yugi. Once in an empty space, they over take him. He leans against the wall and buries his head in his arms. The sound is muffled.
Never again will he be able to think of Yugi that way. Never again can he hope that Yugi will return his feelings. Never again can he dream of them being together.
Because Yugi now belonged to someone else. It is no use thinking it won't work out. It will. How could it not? What baka would willingly give up Yugi once they have him? Who would give up the chance to see his smile and laugh and hug them?
He loves someone else. So give up the dream. Besides, why would he ever like you like that anyways? He's pure and obviously straight. You don't stand a chance. A voice informs him.
Yami agrees 100%.
The last piece of his heart shatters as ha continues to cry.
Friday arrives and Yugi is frantically searching for something to wear. "No... no... no... UGH!"
"Would you like some help?" Yami asks from his customary spot on the bed.
"Yes. I can't find anything!"
Yami chuckles. He finds that if he can force the event out of his mind, he can enjoy helping Yugi prepare.
"Isn't your closest full?"
"You know what I mean." Yugi crosses his arms and pouts cutely.
Yami turns away before Yugi can see his blush. He looks so adorable- NO! No Yami, bad thought. Bad.
He looks into Yugi's closest for the shirt the will bring out his aibou's eyes the best. Then he retrieves pants, a vest and a studded belt. "Here" he hands them to Yugi. "Put these on."
Yugi obeys. "What do you think?" he asks when he is done.
Yami is hard press not to stare. The amethyst tee shirt does accent Yugi's eyes. The black vest shows off his slim muscles. The belt snakes around his hips and the black leather pants hug his legs just right.
Yami forces himself to be critical. "One more thing." He goes over to the dresser and grabs the eyeliner. "Hold still." He applies it to the bottom of Yugi's eyes. "There."
"Really mou hitori no boku, make up?"
Yami smiles in amusement. "You know in ancient Egypt, both men and women wore make up."
"But this is hardly Egypt now is it?"
"Then why do you have it in the first place?"
Yugi blushes. "You know why."
"Indeed. Now look at yourself" he commands.
Yugi does and gasps. "It's prefect! Thank you so much mou hitori no boku."
"No problem aibou. Now don't you need to leave soon?" Yami points to the clock that reads 5:45.
"Ah, yeah!" Yugi takes a step before stopping. "Um mou hitori no boku?" he asks nervously.
"Yes?"
"I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but... errr..."
Yami waits silently.
"I want to leave the Millennium Puzzle here." he says quickly.
Yami blinks, not expecting this.
"It's not like I don't want you to know what's going on or that you would invade my privacy or anything. But this is something I need to prove that I can do by myself."
"I understand."
"You're not mad?"
"I'm not. Now go, before you are late."
"Right, see you later."
"Good luck" Yami calls as Yugi runs out the door. Not that you'll need it.
Yami retreats into the puzzle. Once again he doesn't know if he should be relieved or dread that Yugi left the puzzle at home. Maybe this will be better. He won't have to watch Yugi with another.
The tears start again (when did he become so pathetic to cry this much?). He doesn't know how long they continue when he feels another presence nearby. Not Yugi, but similar. The presences touches the puzzle.
"Yami?"
He recognizes the voice- Solomon. He uses his power to erase all sighs of sadness and then projects himself so he is visible to Solomon.
"Yes?"
"I was just wondering how you are doing."
"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"
Solomon sighs. "Yami, I know."
Yami freezes on the inside, but gives no outward sign of startlement. "Know what sir?"
"Oh none of that formality. It's unnecessary. And you know what I am talking about. I know about your feelings for my grandson."
"He's my best friend."
"Yes. But there's more to it then that. I probably should have told you sooner, but I can see you even when you are visible to no on, but Yugi. I've seen the way you look at him, the way you are always there for him. It wasn't hard to figure out."
Yami can't stop the blush from his face.
Solomon chuckles. "Don't worry my boy, I don't mind. But I figured this whole situation is taking a lot out of you."
"I'll be fine."
Solomon raises an eyebrow at this statement.
"Truly. Aibou's happiness is all I ask for."
Solomon nods. "If you're sure. But remember that if you ever need anything I am here for you. After all, I don't have one grandson, I have two." With that he leaves the room.
Yami stares after him, feeling slightly dumbfounded. This is something he definitely never would have predicted happening. Two? Why would he consider me his grandson? I've been dead for 3,000 years for one thing. Plus Yugi is always getting into trouble because of me. I may protect him, but I'm the reason people are after him in the first place. It makes no sense.
He goes back into the puzzle to pace until Yugi comes back home.
What seems like an eternity later ends when Yugi enters the room. In fact in had only been three and a half hours. Yami appears on the bed.
"How was it?" he asks, dreading the answer.
"Awesome! We went to the prefect place to eat. The movie was a bit cheesy, but we kept making fun of it, so it didn't matter. Tea has a great sense of humor. And she looked beautiful in her yellow sun dress. Maybe I should have you pick out all of my outfits- she really liked it. And she kissed me! Ok, it was on the cheek, but it totally counts. We're going on a picnic on Sunday. How great is that, two dates in one weekend. This is the greatest day of my life!"
"I am glad for you aibou."
"Thanks. This is what I've always dreamed of."
Yugi continues to talk excitedly, but Yami stops hearing the words. Always aibou? You've never had another dream? Do I mean nothing to you anymore? Am I being replaced?
The last question haunts Yami. What will he do if Yugi stops needing him? His whole purpose is to protect the teen. What happens when that purpose is filled?
Long after Yugi falls asleep Yami tries to find an answer to his question. When he does it terrifies him, but he knows he'll do it for Yugi. Anything you Yugi.
Time passes. Two dates turn into three, then four, then five until Yugi and Tea are officially a couple.
At school, everyone tells them how cute they look together. Joey and Tristan are happy for the two. Solomon is the only on who has his reservations, but Yugi never seems to realize this or why.
Yugi continues to leave the puzzle home on his dates- dates that become more and more frequent.
Yami can feel Yugi slipping away. The mindlink isn't as strong as it use to be. Yugi stops sharing everything with Yami. He spends more time with his girlfriend and other friends.
And there is nothing Yami can do to stop it. So it continues to happen for the next six months.
Only Solomon has any idea of how the spirit is feeling. And even then he only knows the surface- only the part that Yami allows to be visible to other people besides Yugi (and not even him so much anymore). He had always been good at keeping others at arms length when necessary.
No one realizes how broken the spirit is.
One night after Yugi excitedly tells him about a heated make out session, Yami know it is time. If Yugi has the courage to do that, he is no longer needed. His purpose has been fulfilled.
Dread comes over him with the knowledge of what he is about to do next, but he pushes it aside. This for Yugi. This is so he can have a normal and happy life. No more danger or shadow magic targeting him.
When Yugi is asleep, Yami writes him a final letter.
Aibou,
I want you to know what I am about to do is not your fault. My purpose as your guardian has been fulfilled. You are no longer the shy, scared boy who completed the puzzle, but a confident, hansom teen. I am proud of you and honored to have been your 'mou hitori no boku'. This is the final way I can protect you. Without the puzzle no evil will be drawn to you. Please be happy, it's all that I've ever wanted.
Goodbye,
your Yami
ps. tell Grandpa thank you for me
Yami puts the note on the desk where Yugi is sure to see it. Next he puts a sleeping spell on the teen that will ensure he doesn't wake until morning. He brushes Yugi's bang out of his face. "Ana baħibbak aibou." he whispers.
He takes the puzzle in his hands and takes a deep breath. Then, using his shadow magic, he shatters it.
He doesn't even have time to take a breathe before the Shadows chains capture him and pull him down. He screams.
Yugi wakes up the next morning feeling like something is missing. He reaches for the puzzle, but doesn't find it on the nightstand. That's odd. I thought I left it there.
/Mou hitori no boku?/ he calls.
There is no answer. In fact, there isn't even the familiar presence of Yami in the back of his mind. Yugi is startled into awareness.
"Mou hitori no boku?" he calls out loud this time, hoping Yami will suddenly appear. Nothing.
Panic starts to take over. He jumps out of bed and slips on something. A piece of the puzzle. "NO!" he shouts "No, this can't be happening. This is a dream." Tears run down his face. How did this happen? Somehow this doesn't feel like an accident.
"Yugi?" Solomon walks in. "What's wrong?"
Yugi, unable to answer, holds up the puzzle piece.
Solomon gasps. "No." he whispers in horror.
Yugi nods. "I-it was l-l-like th-this when I-I woke up." he says between his sobs.
"Do you know who this happened?"
Yugi shakes his head.
Solomon spots a note on Yugi's desk. He goes over and reads it. Tears form in his eyes when he is done. Without a word he hands it to Yugi.
Yugi's distress increases when he finishes it. Fulfilled his purpose? How can he think such a thing? How can he not know how much I need him? He's my best friend. "Why?" he whimpers.
"Oh my boy." Solomon pulls him into a hug. Finally, after a while, Yugi's tears stop. Solomon hands him a tissue.
"Why?" he repeats again. The note simply does not make sense to the teen. How could his mou hitori no boku feel like Yugi no longer needed him?
"Yugi, when the last time you spent time with Yami?"
Yugi opens his mouth to answer.
"That doesn't include you getting ready to hang out with your friends or going on a date?" Solomon interrupts.
Yugi doesn't answer because he can't. He doesn't remember.
"Yugi, I've spoken with Yami before. All he ever wanted was for you to be happy. He did this for you. So think about what he means to you before you disregard his last wish and put the puzzle back together again. Because he deserves more than what he got the last few months." With that, Solomon leaves.
What he means to me? He's my best friend of course. He's the one I tell everything to- well not lately. Guilt starts to show it's head at that realization. He's the one who makes he laugh, holds me when I cry. The one who supports me in whatever I do, who I trust completely. He's my mou hitori no boku. He's my everything.
The thought freezes him. Oh Ra. He's my everything...I...I...him and then Tea and then I ignored him. And then...Oh Ra...No, no this isn't real. How could I have been so blind? How could I miss...?
The tears start to come again.
"I promise mou hitori no boku, I promise I will make this right."
Yugi starts to gather all of the pieces and puts them on his bed. He counts them all, remembering just how many there are.
But it took me eight years to finish it last time. What if it takes that long again? No, I won't let it. I won't stop until it is done. I have to fix this.
Around lunch time his friends arrive.
"Hey Yug, ready to go?" Joey calls up.
"Yeah the human garbage disposal won't shut up about how hungry he is." Tristan complains.
"Hey! It's the first day of spring break man." Joey shots back.
"So?"
They freeze when they walk into Yugi's room.
Yugi is in the center o his bed, his eyes still red, assembling then puzzle.
"Yugi, what happened?" Tea rushes to his side.
"It's my fault." he whispers. He points to the note and turns his attention back to the puzzle.
Tea is shocked when she is finished. Handing the note to the other two, she pulls him into a hug. Yugi doesn't seem to notice.
"The Pharaoh says it ain't Yug." Joey replies after he also finishes it.
"He's wrong." Yugi says simply.
"What are you doing now?" Tristan asks.
"What does it look like?" Yugi's voice reflects his growing irritation.
"But didn't the Pharaoh say he didn't want you to?"
"No. Read between the lines."
"Seems pretty straight forward to me." Joey adds to Tristan's confused look.
"Yugi-" Tristan begins.
Yugi finally loses it. "I have to make this right!" he yells at them.
The boys are finally silent, shocked at his reaction. Tea looks at him. She has been his best friend since they were little and his girlfriend for six months. She has a long time to prefect the skill of reading him and she has a pretty good idea of what is going on.
"Yugi" she says softly. The look on his face confirms his suspicion. "Oh." is all she says.
"I'm sorry."
Tea shakes his head. "It's not your fault. I should have seen this coming."
"Tea-"
"Shh, it's alright. You'll always be my best friend. Remember that." She kisses him on top of his head an gets up. "Come on boys, time to go."
"What just happened?" Joey asks.
"I'll tell you later. Good luck." she calls back to her ex boyfriend and once again good friend.
The three leave the Game Shop.
The next week Yugi continues to work on the puzzle. The only time he does anything else- like to eat or sleep- is when Solomon forces him.
Worry and guilt continuously plague his mind. Thoughts of 'what if' and regrets. What if Yami hates him now? What if he doesn't actually feel hat way? What if he is mad Yami is mad at him for reassembling the puzzle? What if...
They are driving him crazy.
Finally, on Saturday, he is almost done. "That one goes there and that one goes like that... Ha! Yes, only one more to go."
Just as he is about to put it in, he pauses. Whoever completes the puzzle gets a wish. It worked the first time. Will it work the second time?
Only one way to find out. You deserve happiness too mou hitori no boku.
He puts it in.
The puzzle glows and Yugi is transported to his soul room.
Yami has long since lost his voice from screaming. Another chain attaches itself to his leg. All that escapes his lips is a whimper. Every part of his body is in agony. Was there ever time when it wasn't? Is there no such thing as no pain?
...Yes...there was a boy...Yugi...Yugi, who freed him once...the one he is enduring this for...
Another chain whips across his face.
How long has he been trapped here? A day? A week? A year? A lifetime? Time has ceased to have any meaning to him.
The next chain wraps itself around his chest.
Please, please aibou be happy. I need that hope to endure this. Please.
A chain curls around his thigh.
Suddenly he senses a presence. Someone is putting the puzzle back together. No, it's almost complete. Is it Yugi? It can't be, he's happy with Tea. He doesn't need him anymore.
Another chain snakes across his throat.
'I wish for Yami's happiness.'
A wish? Yami? How dos he know I'm here? It sounds like aibou but... Maybe it's one of his descendents. But how do they know I'm not happy?
Suddenly a light flashes and all the chains are gone.
Just like the last time, he appears in his throne room too weak to move. The chains have left bloody wounds all over his body. Tears flow down his eyes and he can't stop them. He remembers from past experience that it takes about a week before he is back to full strength.
These are the reason it took so long for Yugi to be aware of him. Unless he takes control of the body, he has no strength to move.
Yami hears foot steps in his soul room. He hopes whoever it is will be careful. He won't be able to save them if they trigger a trap. They come closer.
"Mou hitori no boku?" a voice asks from the door way.
Yami has his back to the door, so he can't see who it is. Surely it isn't... Why would it be. But who else would call him that?
"Oh mou hitori no boku." Gentle hands turn him on his back. A whimper leaves his lips without his consent. It just hurts so badly.
Yami looks into the eyes that saved him. The eyes that seem intent on every cut, every bruise, every scar on him. Bright amethyst eyes with tears in them.
"Ai...bou." he whispers.
"Shh, save your strength. Yeah it's me. I put the puzzle back together. I hope you don't mind."
/Why?/ he switches to their mindlink. It is easier for him.
"I'm so sorry mou hitori no boku. I've been an idiot. First I hurt you by dating Tea and now this. The puzzle did this to you, didn't it?"
Yami doesn't answer. A tear falls on his cheek. Shakily he reaches up and wipes it away. /Not-/
"Don't you dare say this isn't my fault. It is and I'm so so so sorry about this mou hitori no boku."
/It's ok./
"No it's not. You deserve to be happy too, you know. I don't care if you think it's all about me. It isn't. I told you, you can be way too noble sometimes."
Yami gives his a small smirk. /The wish?/
"You heard it? Good, then you know how important it is to me. How important you are to me."
/What about Tea?/
"We broke up. And no it is not your fault. I realized there was someone more important in my life."
/Who?/
"You." With that, Yugi gently leans down and kisses him.
/Aibou?/ Yami is slightly shocked. Did that just really happen?
"I love you mou hitori no boku. I'm sorry it took me so long to figure it out."
Yami manages to lean up and meets Yugi half way. They kiss again. When they do, there is a flash of light. The injuries on Yami's body heals instantly, leaving only scars.
"Oh my." Yugi says.
Yami chuckles. "Shadow magic does have some uses. It doesn't just respond to me. It does to you as well, especially if your will is enough."
Yugi shakes his head. "Of course, something else freaky I can do."
Yami laughs and sits up. " Ana baħibbak aibou."
"I love you mou hitori no boku."
"Anything for your happiness."
"You know what would make me really happy right now?" Yugi asks with a grin.
"What might that be?" Yami inquires with a smirk.
"Another kiss." Yugi answers impishly.
Yami chuckles. "Of course."
And that's just what he did. After all, Yami can't disappoint him.
Ana baħibbak- I love you in Egyptian Arabic
Ta-da!
So what did people think. I did warn you that it was a bit angst y. But anyways, what to tell me what you thought. *review* (Motivation to type my next story faster) :)