A/N: My newest oneshot inspired by Ricky Sprocket...you know that cartoon about a boy being a movie star...
Tenten woke up to the sound of birds chirping outside her window. Groggily getting out of her bed, her feet instantly touch the cold wooden floor and instantly she found herself wide awake. Her eyes glared at the floor. Why did they have to be so cold in the morning? Cold…a soft giggle escaped from her lips as she thought about the word. Remembering someone whom cold can also be attributed to, she made her way towards her bathroom, wanting to take a nice long hot bath.
As soon as she finished taking her bath, Tenten put on her clothes, went downstairs and made her way towards the door. Upon opening said door, she saw a package on the ground. She picked it up and when she inspected it, she couldn't help but mentally do the nice guy pose but as soon as she did, she cringed. She couldn't believe she did that pose even if it was in her thoughts! The package she held in her hands brought her out of her thoughts, however.
'It's finally here! My long awaited lie detector has arrived!' She screamed out mentally. After ripping off the covers of her lie detector, she took off, wanting to find the first person to test her lie detector out on.
Because she was too engrossed in her fantasy of testing her lie detector out on everyone in Konoha, Tenten wasn't paying attention to where she was going and as a result bumped in to Kiba. She felt a bit annoyed when she fell down on her butt but Kiba didn't even nudge when she bumped him.
"Hey Tenten, what's the rush?" Kiba asked as he helped her stand up.
"No reason." And as soon as Tenten said that, her lie detector beeped. Cautiously, she looked at Kiba but when it seemed like he ignored the beeping sound, she let out the sigh she had been holding. "Um…actually…I wanted to ask you something Kiba."
"What is it? Wanna ask me out?" Tenten glared at Kiba, making him gulp. Her eyes landed on Akamaru and automatically she asked the first question that popped into her mind.
"Hey Kiba…do you love dogs?" Kiba had to blink a few times before the completely random question registered in his mind.
"What kind of a question is that? Of course I love dogs! I can't possibly love them anymore!" The lie detector gave a loud beep as soon as the words escaped Kiba's mouth.
"Say what's that beeping noise?" Kiba asked.
"What? What beeping noise? It's only your imagination! Well gotta go! See ya when I see ya!" With that, Tenten ran off. She only stopped to catch her breath.
"Wow…I never imagined Kiba hated dogs…" Tenten saw Sakura and Ino into the distance and a smirk spread across her lips. She ran to catch up to the two.
"Hey Sakura! Ino! Wait!"
"Oh hey Tenten. Wanna come shopping with us?" Ino said as she smiled at the brunette.
"Maybe later…Hey can I ask you guys something?"
"Okay…" The two girls said at the same time.
"Um…Sakura…do you think Ino is beautiful?" Tenten asked eagerly.
"Yeah of course!" A loud beeping noise made itself known and Tenten tried not to laugh.
"Okay…um…Ino, do you think..." Tenten trailed off trying to think of a question to ask. "Do you think Lee is hot?"
Ino almost choked. "Are you crazy? Of course NOT! Lee doesn't even have a sense of fashion! Sai is way hotter than him!" The lie detector made an even louder beep than before.
"Okay…well it was nice talking to you guys…gotta go!" Tenten ran off until she reached a part of town where she saw Sasuke. 'Oh now this is going to be fun…' she thought as she ran towards him.
"Hi Sasuke!" She chirped as soon as she caught up with him.
"Hn."
"So…um…Do you have a girlfriend?" She asked suddenly.
"No." The lie detector made no beep whatsoever and Tenten had to suppress a groan. She was hoping for him to tell a lie but now that she thought about it, Sasuke is pretty hard to get so she decided to rephrase her question.
"Do you plan on getting a girlfriend?"
"No." A beeping sound was heard and Tenten visibly smirked. Now she was getting somewhere.
"So…um… would you say you're like the other guys Sasuke?"
Sasuke glared at Tenten. She was being so annoying with all these questions! He didn't ask for an interview so why the hell was he getting one now? Despite all these thoughts though, Sasuke planned on patiently answering Tenten's questions since he knew it was the only way to stop her from bugging him.
"No…I am not like those hormonally challenged guys who just want to get laid." An even louder being sound was heard and Tenten proceeded to her next question.
"So…are you feeling sexually frustrated?"
"No…as a matter of fact, I just did Sakura a favor last night and fucked her brains out." The beeping got louder and Tenten didn't even bother hiding her grin now.
"Sasuke…excuse me for the very rude and blunt question but…are you a virgin?"
"No…I told you I just fucked Sakura last night." And as Tenten expected, her lie detector gave off another beep.
"Okay…so…um…do you have anyone specific you want to fuck?" Tenten asked, not caring if she was violating Sasuke's rights of privacy.
"Hell no." The lie detector made another beep.
"Oh okay…but I've been hearing rumors that you want to fuck Tsunade-sama. Is that true?"
"Not a chance in hell." Another beep was heard and Tenten couldn't hide her shock.
"Uh…Sasuke…isn't Tsunade-sama…like…really old and she only uses genjutsu to make herself look young?"
"Yeah, everyone knows that."
"Um…okay, just checking." Tenten tried to get rid of the disgusting mental image of Sasuke and Tsunade that was forming inside her head.
"So…the guys and some of the girls for that matter, say you got a thing for Naruto. How much of it is true?"
"None of it is true. They're all lies." Another beep.
"And I'm assuming that you wouldn't fuck Naruto even if he was the last person on earth?" Tenten asked even though she knew Sasuke was just going to give off another lie.
"Correct." Another beep.
"Hmm…if Ino walked around naked, would you rape her?" Tenten asked wondering whether he'll tell the truth this time or not.
"Not in a million years." Tenten was quite surprised when her lie detector made a beeping noise. Sasuke sure wanted to fuck a lot of girls…and most of them were blondes. Another blonde came into mind and she asked her next question.
"What about Temari? Would you like to have sex with her?" Tenten asked curiously.
"Not even if she was the last girl on earth." Another beep was heard.
"So…about Deidara…"
"No." Came Sasuke's abrupt answer. "I do not want to fuck him or rape him." As soon as Sasuke finished his sentence, another beep was heard.
"So…um…last question…if you were given the chance to make the whole female population of Konoha your sex slaves, would you take it?"
"No." The lie detector gave off the loudest beep it possibly could.
ooooooooooooooooo
Somewhere in Suna
ooooooooooooooooo
"Hey Kankuro what's that beeping noise?" Temari asked her brother.
"Beats me."
oooooooooooooo
Back in Konoha
oooooooooooooo
"So…um…Sasuke, right now at this very moment, where no one is looking, are you getting the urge to fuck the nearest girl to you?"
"Yes and I'm willing to act on it." When Tenten realized she IS the nearest girl to Sasuke and that her lie detector made no sound whatsoever, she ran like her life depended on it.
As Sasuke watched Tenten run off, he gave off a low sinister chuckle.
"And the hunt is on."
A/N: I was planning for this to be TentenxNeji but it somehow turned out like this but then again it's not TentenxSasuke either so it's just a no pairing fic. I don't think this is even funny. Anyway is anyone nice enough to explain the new features on I kinda miss out on a lot of things lately.