"You're WHAT?!"
Her Uncle Titus roared the words, a response she'd very much anticipated given his narrow-minded assertions that she focus on her career at the expense of all else.
Glancing around the room, she saw her Aunt Indra rolling her eyes, likely thinking this was a phase, or irresponsible due to her age and relationship status.
However, it wasn't all negative. Her brother Lincoln was smiling brightly, clearly excited at the prospect. Her sister Anya, well, she just looked proud, beaming at her through the tears welling in her eyes.
"It's not a discussion. I'm looking into starting a family. It's time." Lexa repeated, taking comfort in Lincoln's nod and Anya's wet smile.
"This is MADNESS. You cannot be serious!" Titus raged, pacing the living room, looking like he was a second from exploding.
Indra just leaned forward and shot her a curious look. "This isn't you wanting to fit in, is it? Anya having Tris a few years ago, Lincoln and Octavia having Nathan two years ago. There's no rush, Lexa." Indra noted, halfway surprising Lexa that the woman wasn't opposing her decision, just questioning its roots.
Lexa shook her head. "It doesn't have anything to do with that. It's just something I know I've always wanted, and I feel ready for it. I've cared for Tris and Nathan, from babysitting to full week stints. I've done my research and talked a lot with Anya about what to expect. I'm financially stable. I have flexibility with my career." Lexa explained, ignoring Titus' scoff at that last part. "It feels like the right time."
"Your siblings had help. Who will you rely on? Even forgetting how people get pregnant, Lexa, you'll need support. You may be ready, but I doubt you're ready to do it all by yourself, no matter how often Anya and Lincoln and I might offer our services." Indra continued, raising the only real criticism she hadn't managed to find a defense for leading up to the day's reveal.
"It's going to take time for this to get done, for everything to fall into place. If I had a girlfriend right now, who knows if she'd be with me a year down the line if I haven't found a way yet. I can't plan around others. I can only hope that I find someone open to dating a single mother, if it comes to that." Lexa clarified, earning a reluctant nod from Indra.
"You'll be fine, Lexa. I know you'll be a great mother, even if I'll enjoy you stumbling at the learning curve like you did with me." Anya piped up, bringing back memories of all the times she'd laughed at Anya's early years with Tris, particularly when Raven was away for work. She'd always come to help however she could, which usually wasn't much, but Lexa figured that Anya would get her back for that.
"You must realize this is preposterous! You'll ruin your career!" Titus yelled storming over to her. "You'll ruin everything we've built!"
'Everything' being the acting career he'd pushed her into. She'd done well as a child actor, making a decent bit of money for her aunt and uncle, particularly Titus, who managed her finances. She'd continued on into adulthood, taking on the occasional film until she earned some success on a television show that had lasted three seasons. Her work had been well acclaimed, and that success had some job offers sent her way, but it'd never been a career she'd been tremendously passionate about. Some projects were more enjoyable than others, one she even got a bit lost in from how much she loved it, but by and large, it was work. It was well-paying work. And now that she was stable, and old enough, and had earned some credibility, she could feel more comfortable being picky.
Titus, of course, disagreed, but being her agent, he'd get a cut, and so he wasn't unbiased.
Lexa slowly got to her feet and met his gaze. "Everything you built to make money off me. I apologize if I'm not as devoted to it as you are." Lexa rebutted before turning to the others. "Anyway, I have an appointment, I didn't mean for this to take long."
Anya was the first to her feet to pull Lexa into a hug, Lincoln surrounding her from the other side and trapping her in. "You can do this. You are my sister, and you are strong. Don't listen to Titus." Anya whispered, her quiet reassurances bringing a smile to Lexa's face again. Anya could be a little too serious at times, but the woman loved her and believed in her more than anyone.
"Call me if you ever need me. Maybe I'll be able to help." Lincoln offered with a laugh, her two siblings pulling away only to shield Lexa from Titus and give her an easy exit from the room.
She took the opportunity, waved goodbye, and made her way out of her childhood home, knowing that with the cat out of the bag, she had work to do.
Costia would be proud of me for this...I'm sure of it...She mused as she got into her car and drove away from the property.
Her plans were still mostly just dreams and vague ideas, but she'd come out with it. The ball was rolling. All she needed was to find some momentum.
"Lexa, it's been four months. If you're having second thoughts, it's okay." Anya said, taking a seat beside her on the couch.
"It's not second thoughts. I'm just not certain any of these donors are a fit." Lexa retorted as she read through the paperwork again. In truth the clinics she'd gone to had shared quite a bit of the donor's information, but there was always a lacking X factor.
There was always something missing.
She'd find a few suitable candidates, she'd narrow it down to a top three, and then after a lot of consideration, she'd find them all lacking, and would start over again somewhere else.
I need to break the cycle...if only I knew what I was looking for... She mused as Anya set a hand on her knee.
"Well, look. It's the weekend, and the clinics will be closed until Monday. There's nothing saying you can't check out another one then, but...I have a friend..." Anya started, immediately drawing Lexa's skepticism, because Anya had always been very protective of her friends and exposing them to her paparazzi-hounded little sister.
"You have a friend?" Lexa teased, earning an immediate throw pillow to the face.
"Watch it, little one! But I do. We meet on Thursdays to catch up, and over the past few weeks, your troubles have come up on occasion..." Anya continued, and it was everything Lexa could do to keep from getting up and walking out, knowing that her sister had put together one of her plans again.
Lexa let out a heavy sigh, knowing Anya probably signed her up for something tedious. "You meddled."
"She was sympathetic. And she has been having her own difficulties at work, and so I got to thinking...why not kill two birds with one stone?" Anya asked, shooting Lexa a wry grin and entirely ignoring the glare Lexa was sending her way.
She set the paperwork back on the table and leaned back into the couch, brain filling with ways to get payback on her sister for whatever nefarious scheme she'd concocted. "What do I need to do?"
"There's a gala being held at the Alexandria Ballrooms on Saturday. My friend's date cancelled on her, so she has an extra ticket." Anya answered, rolling her eyes when Lexa let out a scoff; her sister knew how much she hated galas. "I know, but it's a boring corporate one, not a big celebrity event. Chances are you won't have to be there for long, and it'd help my friend out."
Lexa knew Anya wouldn't ask her to do this friend a favour if it wasn't important. It was intensely rare that Anya would even consider putting her friends in the line of public scrutiny, so it had to be something major. "You said two birds, one stone?"
"Depending on how well you behave yourself, and how much of her trust you can earn, she could be able to help you with your search. Worst case scenario, Clarke is a good person and a loyal friend. You could do worse than getting her in your corner. It's been a long time since you've made a new friend." Anya explained, and while the details and compensation were too vague for her to feel comfortable with, Lexa's interest was officially piqued.
Her mind quickly filled with questions, wondering just what kind of career this Clarke had, and what connections she had that could help her out with family planning. By the amused twinkle in Anya's eye, she knew she'd have to wait for those answers.
"Fine. Give me the details, and I'll be there. You're lucky I don't have anything to do tomorrow." Lexa relented, leaning her head back to rest against the top of couch cushions, wondering what she'd gotten herself into.
"Wonderful! So you can pick her up at her address here...she'll give you your ticket when you arrive. They let attendees in at six, so you should pick Clarke up by quarter after five at the latest." Anya spoke, probably writing a note down somewhere.
Lexa already regretted her decision, hating driving in early evening traffic, even if it was the weekend. "Promise me this will be worth it, and I won't have to get you back?"
"It's going to work out, Lexa. I know it will." Anya answered, not exactly a promise, but Anya's word had always been gold over the years.
While she still had her doubts, she'd trust her sister again.
Lexa wasn't sure she'd ever driven as far east out of Los Angeles as San Dimas, at least on her own, but she'd also never gone to a corporate gala, so it was already a night of firsts. Traffic was thankfully lighter than expected, so when she did pull up to Clarke's address, one of a number of connected single-story condos, she was about five minutes early.
"No harm in being punctual." Lexa noted with a shrug as she turned off the ignition and stepped out of her Audi. She made her way across the partitioned street and down the walkway, only needing a few moments to arrive at Clarke's door; not nearly enough time to prepare herself for meeting her short-notice date.
She's friends with Anya, so she must be a decent person...but I'm supposed to spend the next few hours with this woman, so I hope she's conversational. Maybe she was Raven's friend first, that would probably be a good sign. Yes...let's hope she's more like Raven, that would at least be interesting... Lexa mused, taking a moment to check her appearance in her compact before pressing the doorbell.
"Just a second!" She heard called out from inside, some faint sounds of clattering following suit. "Crap!"
Lexa's brow furrowed, wondering if the woman usually kept things to the last minute, figuring it would have been astute to have been ready at least fifteen minutes ago, leaving more minor things to finish up with afterward.
About a half minute later, the sharp clack of heels signaled the woman's approach, Clarke - or at least she assumed - swinging open the door a moment later, appearing immediately confused.
"You're not Anya." The woman noted suspiciously, eyes giving Lexa a quick glance while she, in turn, did much the same. Clarke, if the woman was Clarke, was an absolute vision. If anything, Lexa was thankful that the woman was as confused and flustered as she was, giving her time to recompose herself because the sequined silver dress , the rolling golden waves, the piercing sapphire eyes, they all stole her breath and had her gay heart hammering fiercely in her chest like nothing before.
"I'm Lexa, her sister." She clarified after a moment of catching her breath, her answer grabbing the blonde's attention. The woman reeled back with wide interested eyes. "You're the friend in need of a date tonight."
"Clarke Griffin. You're the sister she keeps hidden away under lock and key." The woman shot back with a confused grin.
"No handcuffs or shackles today." Lexa noted, immediately blushing at her terrible comeback to the remark. For some reason, since that door had opened, all her wit had blown away in the summer breeze. "Are you okay? You sounded a little upset in there."
Clarke let out a sharp huff. "I might have been startled by the doorbell. And maybe I tripped and broke the heel off my shoe accidentally."
"Are you hurt?" Lexa asked, quickly casting her gaze down to the woman's feet, thankfully not seeing any redness or swelling.
"No, no, I'm...I just need to find a new pair of shoes. Come in, I'll only be a minute." Clarke offered, hobbling back indoors and presumably to her bedroom.
The home was smallish, but it was well kept and updated, more so than the outside would have led her to believe. The decor was interesting and colourful, making for an appealing aesthetic. If Clarke did it all on her own, she could have a future as an interior decorator.
Honestly, Lexa felt good about the blonde. Perhaps she was one of the most gorgeous women she'd come across in her lifetime, but past that, there was just something about her. If asked, she might answer that she was actually looking forward to the gala now.
Clarke was rushing back out within a minute, head cocked and eyes wide in exasperated apology. "Sorry for that. Let's start over...hi, I'm Clarke Griffin, pleased to meet you."
Lexa smiled at the curious restart, but played along, taking Clarke's outstretched hand and giving it a light shake. "Lexa Woods, and the pleasure's mine."
"You do realize we're going to be attending a boring corporate gala?" Clarke asked, eyes narrowing in clear disbelief.
"A night out with someone who's both new and interesting? And who could clearly give my red carpet appearances a run for their money? I'd count that as a pleasant night by any standard." Lexa answered, deciding to just go with it when she realized some flirty words had spilled out. Clarke was an attractive woman, and she didn't seem offended, so no harm, no foul.
In fact, the blonde's cheeks were a little pinker than before. "My mom used to dress up for galas. This is my first black tie one, so I thought I'd try to look the part."
"That's nicer than what Anya wore to the Emmys the last two years." Lexa remarked as she opened the door and stepped out of the condo.
Clarke followed and swiftly locked the door. "The Emmys? Since when does Anya go to the Emmys?"
That had Lexa stilling, suddenly wondering what exactly Anya told Clarke about her. The sincere confusion on Clarke's face had her in a bit of a situation; would she be up front with Clarke and put the potential fledgling friendship at risk, or would she hold back and just let the blonde know what she needed to know, hoping that nothing would happen at the gala to blow her cover?
After a moment's thought, she decided on the latter. It felt refreshing to be relatively anonymous again.
"I've done a little acting. Gets your foot in the door for those sorts of things, and you can often grab a plus one." Lexa explained, downplaying her achievements, feeling entirely relieved when Clarke just gave an understanding nod and followed her to her car.
"So why haven't I seen you around before? I can't imagine anyone's that busy." Clarke asked as she got into the passenger seat.
Lexa put on her seatbelt and started the engine, needing a moment to figure out her answer. Vague seemed the way to go. "Whenever my uncle's not working me to the bone, I'm usually just enjoying personal time. Anya knows I don't get much, so she tends to leave me be. And she'd rather people learn about me from me than from her, too." She answered, knowing none of that was false, but it wasn't exactly an accurate answer to Clarke's question.
"I guess that makes sense. For what it's worth I haven't heard anything bad." Clarke said as they headed off back to Los Angeles. "But hey, we're together for the night, I may as well learn more about you. What is it that you do?"
Lexa bit her lip, unsure how long she could hold her facade. She'd never been a great liar. "Well, right now I'm between work, mainly focusing on my family planning, but I've done a few things in the past, mostly in and around Hollywood."
"Right, right. Anya was telling me that you want to have a baby. No offense, but usually when single women start going down that route, they're in their early thirties, not our age." Clarke noted with questioning eyes, body angled halfway at Lexa in her seat. It made her feel like the blonde was getting ready to interrogate her.
"I've been preparing for a long time, now. I've always wanted a family when I got older. With Tris and Nathan, I gained some good experience, and I've secured the financial stability to support that change in my life, and I'd like to think my network of family and friends would keep me grounded." Lexa explained, hoping it would be enough for Clarke to believe she could do it. Suddenly, she wasn't sure if she could last the night with Clarke if the blonde wasn't supportive of her decisions.
"It's just a big decision, and it's a lot for one person from what I gather. But yeah, your family's kind of loaded, and Anya would go through hell to help you with motherhood, so...yeah, okay. If you want to do it, all the power to you." Clarke shot back with a reassuring smile. "Any luck on that front so far?"
Lexa couldn't hold back her sigh. "It's frustrating. I...I had a very specific plan, I've had it for years. I go through IVF for my first child. I adopt my second. If I feel I can manage more, I reverse that pattern. But every time I narrow the list of donor candidates, none of them feel right, and I go somewhere else." Lexa explained, knowing her frustration was oozing out of her, and that it wasn't likely attractive, but it was honest at the very least. "Ideally, I'd get a donor I feel right about, that I felt I could trust with this next step of my life. It's just a big step...it almost feels wrong sometimes to make it on my own."
She could feel Clarke staring at her as silence crept into the vehicle, only the sound of the engine and the road filling the cabin. She'd have worried a little if Clarke hadn't already given her approval. Or maybe she doesn't approve that I'm not prioritizing adoption when my parents adopted me, Anya and Lincoln. Maybe she thinks my plan is a mess. Maybe she thinks I'm not ready after second guessing my choices again and again...
She was just pulling onto the freeway when she heard a slight movement in the passenger seat. "I think I know where you're coming from. It's definitely a big step, it's okay to want to be certain about the donor. It's okay to take your time."
Lexa let out a small sigh of relief. "I'm glad someone agrees with me. But enough about my life, tell me about yourself, Clarke."
"I'm not too interesting. Daughter of a surgeon and an engineer, majored in fine arts with a minor in communications. I've been working at a marketing firm, Azgeda, for a while now." Clarke answered, piquing Lexa's interest, and sending her back to her conversation with Anya the previous day.
"Anya vaguely mentioned that you've been having troubles, and that me being your plus one tonight would help." Lexa stated, earning an annoyed grunt.
"I guess, yeah. I came into Azgeda as an intern, I did some great things, and was offered a full time position as a marketing analyst. Then someone in HR dug something up about me, and suddenly, that position was dangled on a carrot, delayed by another half year. I was told that I could use more experience in the company before I'd be a good fit for the job and the company's culture. They offered an administrative position, and with the market as it was, I took it." Clarke relayed, exasperation and frustration seeping from every word, even if the woman was trying to hide it. "I'm good at what I do, so I got snatched up as a PA by my current boss. He's in charge of hiring a new team in two month's time, and he wants to give me a spot. But because I'm just a PA, and not an intern or full time analyst anymore, I'm not high up on the pecking order for that. That means he has to avoid showing favoritism, so he ducked out as my date tonight, and...here you are. "
Lexa took a minute to digest the information, finding all the backroom politics a bit underhanded. "So you're manipulating your way back into competition for an analyst job. Why not get one elsewhere?"
"The market's pretty saturated around here, and I'm a bit distanced from my time at school, and it was my minor, then. I think if I can get the job at Azgeda, and hold it for six months or more, then I can move. I'll have experience and a good word. I just need to get that first." Clarke added, making a lot of sense, even if it was vastly different than the working world she experienced.
"Well, I hope that I can help boost you up tonight, and that you get the job you want. Determination is a good quality, Clarke." She added with a smile. "So, where did you first meet Anya?"
Clarke let out a laugh. "Funny story, actually..."
Clarke watched with an amused grin as Lexa got pulled away by another gala attendee, her date apparently better known than Clarke had thought. Though, at the same time, no one was freaking out, so she figured someone recognized her and wanted a photo op here or there, since Lexa only ever got pulled away for maybe a minute or two at a time.
It was definitely an added benefit of having the woman as her plus one. Already, a few of her superiors had pulled Lexa away, and that could help her out in the long run. So much of getting hired is who you knew, or what favors you could pull or have pulled from you. Her knowing a minor celebrity could be of some use, perhaps.
But Lexa was more than that. All night, the woman had been clearly interested in learning about her, in understanding her. Whenever Lexa was around, she'd be asking about the favourite parts of her job, her hobbies, her painting and art, what materials she preferred, to tiny things like what kind of drink she liked when she woke up.
Clarke had spent the past two years toiling away at work and going home to her art, and then her bed, only to start it all over again the next day. It had been a long time since anyone had shown any friendly interest in her that wasn't already a close friend or colleague. It felt nice.
Hell, it felt a little exciting.
She offered Lexa a smile that relayed some of that excitement as her date returned. "Enjoying the fans?"
Lexa just shook her head, cheeks turning a little pink. "Just someone whose daughter watched the show I was on. Nothing big."
"Well I appreciate you treating my bosses. I just didn't think you were so popular." Clarke probed, knowing Lexa wasn't a huge star, but could have understated her popularity. Not that it'd matter, but Lexa had shown interest in her. She wanted to know all about her date, too.
"I just wrapped a guest star role on a TV show a few months back. The show's airing now, so I'm probably just fresh in some people's minds, I suppose." Lexa's offhand dismissal was enough to convince her for now, especially since she had Lexa back at her side.
"So before you were dragged away, I was going to ask what you like to do in your spare time." Clarke took a sip of the champagne glass she'd been nursing for a half hour as she moved over to the wall. "I mean, you have to do something for fun."
Lexa followed suit, leaning up beside her. "I'm afraid to say I'm not too interesting. I practice archery, I like to garden, I like to swim. When I have time, I like to travel. I read, I visit museums...like I said, nothing spectacular."
"There's nothing wrong with that. I mean, when I'm not drawing or painting, I'm probably watching Netflix. Sometimes I stress bake, and I'll play chess if I have an opponent, but I'm not an exceptionally exciting person, either. No shame in that." Clarke was happy to see her words seem to relax Lexa, even if just slightly. It was a good look on her, the serene little half smile; it almost distracted her from the figure approaching from across the room. Clarke downed the rest of her glass. "Hey, we've been here for a while, and we've endured the awards ceremony. Want to head out?"
Lexa's eyes rolled upward, mouth twisting in thought as she tapped her chin with a forefinger. "Still plenty of time in the night for you to network, Clarke. Are you sure we should leave so early?"
"Coincidentally, you covered six of the eight I'd hoped to talk to tonight, and I handled one other, so our track record's good." Clarke stated, words flying out faster when the person she wanted to avoid grew close. "Can we go? I think..."
"Clarke Griffin, you surprise me." Roan called out with the usual confidence and low-key playfulness he displayed whenever he was interrogating an employee. He always did like making people squirm a bit. Clarke turned to face her boss just as he slipped a hand to the small of her back, his eyes purely focused on Lexa. "You're left without a plus one to the gala not three days ago, and you show up with Lexa Woods on your arm? I didn't think you were so well connected."
Clarke swallowed her embarrassment and held her smile. "I guess I'm full of surprises, Mr Frost. Lexa, this is my boss."
"A pleasure to meet you. It's nice to finally meet the man looking after my friend." Lexa said with a slow and measured cadence, her words nearly shocking Clarke out of her skin, knowing they'd just met that evening. For whatever reason, Lexa seemed suspicious, and probably put two and two together that he was why she'd wanted to leave so soon.
"To be honest, most of the time it's Clarke looking after me. She's incredibly dedicated, definitely a rising star, such as yourself." Roan returned, drawing a frown to Clarke's face at the sight of Roan's eyes doing that weird twitchy narrowing thing they did sometimes when she'd tell him she was busy after work.
Is he...jealous? She mused silently, too confused and stunned to be as amused as she should have been. He was the one that said no strings...
"You're too kind, Mr Frost. But I agree, Clarke has aspirations, and she's striving to meet them. I trust that she's in good hands, and that her talent and efforts will be rewarded by your firm." Lexa continued on, being a little aggressive in pushing her support, even if it was appreciated. She'd been told by Roan that he had her back, but it could be good for him to have some outside pressure in ensuring her eventual promotion happened.
"Clarke is a valued member of our team, your trust is well placed, Miss Woods." Roan added before turning his focus to Clarke. "I figured I'd just check up on you and see how you were handling the gala."
"It's been a good night. Congratulations on the award, not that there was any doubt." Clarke offered, knowing it was a bit of brown-nosing, but there was nothing wrong with that if it helped move her closer to her payoff. "I just had a busy day, and I'm feeling a little wiped, so we were going to head out. But please enjoy the rest of the night in my stead."
Roan's eyes got that jealous look back in them. "I might just do that. Rest up, Clarke...we've got a busy week coming up." He said with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, turning his focus back to Lexa. "Goodnight, Miss Woods. It was a pleasure to meet you."
With that, her boss took off into the crowd, letting Clarke deflate from relief, happy to have all of the potential awkwardness traded for a lesser amount of actual awkwardness. "So...let's head out?" She repeated, earning a nod from her date after a second or two of hesitation, Lexa still staring off into the crowd at Roan.
Lexa led the way out, taking gentle hold of her fingers as they made their way through the crowd by the doors and out into the cool mid-summer's night. It was an unnecessary gesture, but she appreciated it nonetheless, especially when Lexa looked down and seemed startled that she was still holding Clarke's hand.
Lexa's grip loosened immediately, but as they waited for the valet to bring the car around, Lexa kept shooting her thoughtful glances. A storm of questions were on the woman's mind, and as minutes passed, she found herself wanting to hear them.
Thankfully, the actress didn't need much more time once they were seated and strapped into the vehicle, barely leaving the parking area when Lexa's voice reached her ears. "You're sleeping with your boss. Know that I'm not judging, but I'm concerned. Are you being coerced?"
Clarke would have done a spit take if she still had her drink. Instead, she just let out a laugh at the notion. "Not at all. He wasn't always my boss." She spoke through another laugh, waiting a moment to calm herself before continuing. "We met late into my internship. I was working under his sister at the time...he was interested, and my dance card was the opposite of full. A few weeks later, the contract stuff went down, and I was set to work for a man named Quint, a real pain in the ass. Roan convinced his mother to have me go to him instead of Quint, and she bought it because frankly? Roan's good at what he does, but he's the most disorganized man I've known. It was an easy sell that came across as a little selfish of him."
"So he treats you well? He's fair with you?" Lexa asked, reasonable enough questions, if ones that could have been inferred from what she'd already said.
"He's a decent guy, and a good boss. Never knew him to have a jealous streak, but I guess it's hard to know someone completely." Clarke answered, wondering how that little tidbit might play out across the coming week. She made a mental note to make preparations for it tomorrow. "It's all been casual, no-strings attached so far. I'd prefer to keep it that way."
Lexa let out a thoughtful hum. "Well, just know that if he acts out, Anya will be happy to destroy him."
The thought of one her best friends marching into Roan's office and hitting him over the head with a chair filled her mind. Funny thing was, Clarke knew Anya would do something like that if she thought it'd protect her.
"Just Anya?" Clarke asked, feeling a little cheeky, but Lexa's aggressiveness earlier had made her curious.
The slight blush on Lexa's cheeks only added to that feeling. "I might take a less direct route. You're not only a close friend of Anya's, but you seem like a good person, one I'd like to get to know better. I would want better for you than to deal with any hostility at work, or worse."
"Pretty sure neither of you have to worry, but I appreciate the concern." Clarke said just as her phone buzzed in her clutch. Curious, she pulled it out and saw she had a new text from Anya. "Speak of the devil..."
Anya
How has your evening been so far? Is Lexa behaving herself?
Clarke smiled down at her screen and quickly tapped out a response.
Clarke Griffin
It's been fine, we're on our way back now. Lexa was a perfect gentlewoman, but I could have used a heads up that she'd be my +1 tonight instead of you
Anya
I thought it'd be a nice surprise
And fantastic. I hoped you two would have a good time
Clarke's eyes narrowed at that second message, suddenly a little suspicious of her long-time friend.
Clarke Griffin
Anya, be honest. Are you trying to play cupid? You know how that worked out the last three times
It only took a few seconds for another response to come in and sate her curiosity.
Anya
I'm allowed to want you to be happier. You deserve better than your boss.
Clarke couldn't restrain her sigh with her suspicions confirmed, and only felt more boxed in when Lexa's head tilted towards her. "Is something wrong?"
"Just your sister sticking her nose into my business, as usual. Nothing big." She dismissed, turning her attention back to her phone.
Clarke Griffin
I'm not looking for anything serious. Maybe in a few months, but not right now. Once I get the promotion and settle into the new position, maybe then.
"Anya does have a tendency to meddle." Lexa agreed. "She means well, though, so it makes it difficult to be upset with her, even if she's relentless about it."
Clarke nodded, exhaling slowly, knowing what it felt like to have Anya Woods hounding her. The woman had been trying to set her up a dozen or so times in the past year. There really weren't any signs of her stopping.
Lexa was right that Anya was relentless. The woman often needed to be appeased in order for her to back off. If Anya wanted her to date Lexa, then she would persist.
The easy solution would be to go on a date with Lexa, but that was dangerous. Lexa was interesting, stunningly beautiful, and seemed kind. With someone like that, it'd be easy for one date to turn into three, and then more, and Clarke just didn't want to have a new, unstable relationship right when she was leading into getting a promotion, when her career would be unstable.
She wanted stability. Hopefully in a few weeks, Lexa would still be on the market, but she wasn't ready now. But Anya did mention some things about Lexa...maybe I could buy myself some time with Anya and keep Lexa close? I'm pretty sure I could pull it off, and it's not like my parents will have to know...and it'd be for a good cause...
Decision made, Clarke smiled and turned to Lexa. "Hey, are you free for breakfast tomorrow?"
She watched Lexa's eyes grow wider ever so slightly as she swallowed, posture going a little stiff. "I am, yes." Lexa answered, tongue sweeping across her lower lip. "Anywhere you'd prefer?"
"Maybe your place? You've seen mine already. It's only fair." Clarke asked, unsure if her play would work, given how secretive Anya had been about the woman, and how vague Lexa had been about herself in some ways tonight.
A few seconds of silence did stretch on as they made their way down I-10. Eventually, though, a sigh that sounded a lot like surrender filled the air. "I suppose that's fair. It's a bit of a drive from San Dimas to the Palisades, a little over an hour, so maybe we schedule breakfast for nine-thirty?"
Clarke did her best to control her reaction, but while the Palisades weren't Beverly Hills or Bel Air, it was still an affluent community. Still, it wasn't that big of a surprise, knowing the family as a whole was pretty well off, even in comparison to her own.
"That sounds good to me. Can I put my number in your phone? That way you can send me your address." Clarke asked, earning a nod, Lexa picking her phone up and tapping in the password before handing it to her. "Great, thanks!"
Satisfied with her stopgap plan, Clarke quickly added herself in Lexa's contacts and then returned to her own phone to message Anya.
Clarke Griffin
Lexa and I are going to have breakfast tomorrow. Though I can't date her, I do feel comfortable helping her out if she's willing, but we'll have that talk tomorrow.
Anya's response was unsurprisingly swift. Honestly, Clarke wondered if the woman was just staring at her phone waiting for messages, but with Raven down south working on a project, and Tris away at camp for the weekend, she probably was.
Anya
I will love you forever if you do this
Clarke just smiled at the message and tapped out her own response, adoration blooming in her chest.
Clarke Griffin
You'll already love me forever, babe. But if she wants to, I will. She'd be a good mom, like you.
Anya
Now you're just buttering me up. I'm officially suspicious
Clarke let out a laugh, turning her head enough to meet Lexa's gaze and roll her eyes. "Anya's ridiculous. But yeah, I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I want to hear about all you've done these past few months."
Clarke Griffin
Don't be, buttercup. I just get the feeling that she deserves a break. If I can give it, then all the better
Clarke slipped her phone back into her clutch, chuckling to herself with the knowledge that Anya would be more annoyed than anything at the nickname. They were getting close to her home, now, so she settled in for the rest of the drive.
"I'll be happy to show you. I don't often get visitors." Lexa spoke, sounding a little down; it had Clarke wondering how social the woman was. Clearly, after the gala, her social skills were on the mark, but Clarke couldn't help but wonder what Lexa's social circle was like.
"Well, maybe I'll have to stop by here and there down the line." Clarke noted with a grin which only grew wider when they passed a streetlight that illuminated just how much Lexa was blushing.
"I think I'd like that." Lexa said, lips curling into a smile of her own.
Clarke cursed herself, knowing it'd be that much harder to keep a good distance between her and Lexa, but she couldn't help but support the woman. Even just knowing her for a few hours, Clarke was sure that she'd do what she could to at least befriend her and keep her happy.
Maybe her plan would eventually backfire, but for now, as they drove into San Dimas, Clarke felt it was worth the risk.
Lexa stared at the eggs in the frying pan and grimaced. They were supposed to be scrambled.
There was no scramble to be had.
It was all just a thick, dense egg disc. Lexa was sure she'd done everything right, starting just as Clarke texted to say she was five minutes away, but it was a breakfast catastrophe instead. The eggs were flat and thick, not scrambled and fluffy.
The bacon had come out well, not too crispy and not too floppy. The biscuits had come out fluffy enough to be edible, even if they weren't perfect. But the eggs.
Lexa glared down at the yellow disappointment and sighed, plating it just as the doorbell rang. She made her way through her home to the foyer and opened the door. Clarke was standing there looking absolutely stunning, her well made-up face and gorgeous flowy dress making Lexa feel far underdressed for the occasion, wearing yoga pants and an oversized tee.
"Clarke, come in, I'm just putting the food on the table." She noted, leading Clarke into her home and to the small eating nook beside the kitchen. It only took a moment or two to ferry over their food, having set up the juice and condiments a few minutes earlier. "How was the drive over?"
"It wasn't so bad for Sunday morning traffic. Your home's beautiful, Lexa...I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't this." Clarke said as she took a seat, Lexa following suit.
"A lot of the homes in the area are...a bit luxurious and over the top. I could have had a much fancier house, but I wanted a place that just felt like a home, and I loved the location. Right by major parks, practically across the street from the high school, near all of the amenities. I bought it five months ago, and I've been decorating it ever since with some help from Anya and Lincoln." Lexa added, happy to talk about her home, blooming with pride at the fact that Clarke complimenting it was practically the first thing out of the blonde's mouth.
Clarke nodded. "I can definitely see Anya's input with some of the decor. But yeah, this place is...it looks kind of huge, but it's actually kind of cozy and homey inside. It's a lot of space for one person, though."
"It is. I wanted to plan for the future." Lexa agreed, watching Clarke fork a portion of her egg. "I apologize for the eggs, I don't know why they didn't turn out."
Clarke gave the food a cursory look and shrugged. "Did you want them scrambled?" She asked, earning a sheepish nod. "You just forgot the milk, that's all."
Lexa pondered that for a moment, knowing she'd poured out some milk. It took a moment to click that she'd used it on the biscuits, and forgot to pour more out for the eggs. "Ah, yes. Anyway, I apologize."
"It's still just as tasty, don't worry about it. Honestly, this whole breakfast looks delicious." Clarke noted after taking a bite. "You mind if we eat first and talk after?"
It was simultaneously a relief and a stressor to delay whatever conversation Clarke arranged the breakfast for, giving her more time to prepare and think which was a bit of a double-edged sword.
"Of course, Clarke." She answered as she spread jam on each half of her biscuit, looking forward to at least having a good meal after her morning's workout.
She'd already been distracted that morning, trying to think up a reason for Clarke to want to meet up so soon after the previous evening, especially since the blonde had given off a load of signals that she wasn't open to a romantic end to their night together.
All she had to work off was that Clarke was interested to see how she'd spent the past few months, which to her meant her family planning. But Lexa had been fairly up front that she hadn't made much progress, and that she still stumbled and stalled when it came to choosing a donor. As they ate, she was only half aware of what she tasted, the cogs in her brain working too hard for her to notice much else.
By the time they were both finished and Lexa had ferried the dishes away, she still had little to work with over what Clarke might wish to talk about. All she could do was resign herself to the mystery of it all, hoping it'd be positive.
Lexa led Clarke through the home and out to the back yard to the seating area by the pool, plopping down on one side of the couch. She was pleasantly surprised when Clarke sat down on the other end, angled halfway to facing her. Posture and position that were more likely meant to foster communication and cooperation.
That, what little of a cue it was, had Lexa feeling much lighter.
"So, what do you think keeps holding you back from settling on a donor?" Clarke asked, not pulling any punches. She didn't expect the blonde would, though; Clarke seemed like the kind of person who could be both hammer and scalpel when need be. Everyone had been careful with her over the past months.
Clarke must have sensed that, and came in like a wrecking ball.
The question left her a bit short of breath for a brief moment, but she took a quick inhale and settled into the couch cushions. "As I told you, it feels a little wrong to make that sort of decision on my own. I know I made the decision to start a family, but..." She started, voice trailing as she tried to find the words to explain.
It didn't seem like she needed to. "You always imagined someone else would be there with you. You've wanted this, you've gotten all your ducks in order, and you're feeling gun-shy when it's time to pull the trigger because in all your fantasies, someone was by your side."
Lexa slumped forward at the pinpoint accuracy of Clarke's deduction. She could waste time asking if it was intuition or inside information via Anya, but it honestly wouldn't matter. "Her name was Costia."
"She was your girlfriend?" Clarke asked simply, no judgment, nothing but curiosity in those deep blue eyes.
Lexa nodded. "We got together when we were sixteen. We were together for a little over five and a half years. I had my career set, she was working towards studying oceanography. She stayed local enough for post-secondary, but she got into grad school at Pierre and Marie Curie University in France." She explained, swallowing hard as memories of their last moments together tore through her body like lightning. "It...it was her dream. It's among the best for her passion, and much of her extended family lived over there, so she had to go. I wanted to try and make it work, but she said she couldn't do long distance. I wanted to go after her but I had family that needed me here."
Clarke's gaze held on her, those sapphires watching her closely, as if she could see into her skull. "You're not waiting for her to come back to you, are you?"
She shook her head, letting out a heavy sigh. "No. Even if I was, last I heard, she's engaged. I know this is my choice, I'm doing this on my own. I just...I feel a void where it feels someone should be. It's difficult to push past it."
"Does it have to be a partner? This person you would make a decision with?" Clarke asked, giving Lexa a clear indication of that their talk might just be about.
"Clarke, are you asking if I want you to be that person?" She asked plainly, not wanting to beat around the bush.
The melodic laughter that escaped the blonde had her thinking that she was a little off the mark, even if that left a huge question mark. They didn't need to be face to face to have a talk about her troubles with fertility decisions. "No, not quite. I was going to suggest Anya." Clarke cleared up, holding up a hand as Lexa went to rebut her. "She loves you. She probably knows you about as well as you know yourself. I think she'd be a great judge of character for this, and a huge help for you if you let her into the process."
Honestly, she hadn't considered it before. She'd left her siblings out of the process from the start, knowing both were prone to meddling, and she didn't need the drama. At this point, though, what do I have to lose? She probably could help give me a push in the right direction...
"I can consider it. I'm not sure I'd be risking anything by bringing her into the fold at this point. Maybe she'd help." She returned, shooting Clarke a hopeful smile that immediately had the blonde beaming back at her.
"I'm happy to hear it. You deserve all the support you need with this. You don't have to do it all alone." Clarke reassured, nothing but sincerity shining in her eyes. It had Lexa feeling like maybe she had deeper wells of support than she thought. However, Clarke took a deep breath and that joy was quickly washed away, apprehension clear as day on her features. "There was one more thing I wanted to ask."
Lexa shuffled closer, resting a hand on Clarke, seeing the trouble swirling in the woman's eyes. "Thank you, Clarke. If it needs being said, my home is my comfort zone, and I am very difficult to knock off balance here, so say what's on your mind. I promise it won't be an issue."
She swelled with pride and relief seeing Clarke visibly relax from her words. The last thing Lexa wanted was for Clarke to worry about her reaction to whatever it was; the blonde had earned enough loyalty for that, at least.
"You've been looking for a donor. You said that none of them have felt right so far." Clarke started off slowly, earning an easy nod from Lexa, since the woman had basically repeated her own words from the previous night. "I just want you to know that I'll honour any answer you give, and that I'm only saying this because of how much I love Anya, how much she vouches for you, and how great you've been since I've met you. I'd like to think I'm a good judge of character."
Lexa felt her brow furrow as Clarke rambled, not sure where the woman was heading with what she was saying. It was reassuring to hear again how close Clarke and Anya were, and that Clarke thought she was a good person, but she couldn't help but feel confused.
"I just figured...if it'd make it easier for you...if it'd help you start your family...if you wanted me to, I could be your donor." Clarke let out, halfway stumbling over her words, a bit of red tinting her cheeks as she took in a deep breath once the words were out.
Lexa cocked her head in confusion before the truth became clear. She gave Clarke's hand a gentle squeeze. "I wouldn't want to just use you, Clarke. I don't think I'd feel comfortable with that."
Still, the idea was an attractive one. While the woman was still very new to her, she knew Clarke was a good person. Anya knew Clarke very well and had clearly vouched for her, sending the blonde her way like she did. Lexa was fairly sure she'd get the thumbs up from Anya if she asked her about the arrangement.
From all she could tell, Clarke was intelligent, she was thoughtful and empathetic, she was determined and passionate, and she was creative. All she needed was to know the health of Clarke's lineage, really, and she couldn't imagine Anya would send the blonde her way if that wouldn't check out.
"You wouldn't be using me. I'm offering. I believe you'd be a good mom, and I'd be happy to help make it happen if that's the route you'd want to take." Clarke insisted, making Lexa feel a little better about it.
It was still an odd proposition from someone she didn't know tremendously well, but maybe it could work. "Is there any history of illness or disease in your family? Like heart issues, or cancer?"
Clarke shook her head. "Both sides of my family are stubbornly enduring. Almost all my oldest relatives have died of old age. The one who didn't smoked like a chimney since he was twelve or something."
Lexa nodded as she digested that information. Smart, thoughtful, healthy, empathetic, passionate, determined, and beautiful. And while Clarke was still new to her, she knew exponentially more about her than any of the anonymous donors she'd trawled around for.
And when she thought of Clarke as a donor, and Anya clearly approving it, she didn't feel that same void from all the other times. If anything, she felt a little excited.
"I...I think I'd want to talk to Anya about this first before making any firm decision, but...just thinking about it feels good to me. It feels safer thinking of you as a donor. So while I can't commit to an answer just yet, I really appreciate your offer, Clarke. It's very...very generous of you." Lexa stated, nearly stumbling over her words from the growing rush of anticipation, one of her goals finally getting close to being met. She wanted Clarke to know that she was deeply considering her offer, that she wanted to accept her offer. She just needed to have a sounding board before she confirmed.
But all things considered, every second that passed, Lexa knew more and more than she wanted this. That she could trust this. That years of being Anya's friend meant that Clarke was a good person, and would likely be a good donor. Maybe the logic was simple and maybe she needed to think harder about it, but her heart was racing from the excitement and possibility of finally getting back on track, of having a really good option laid out before her.
"I get that, and I think that's a good idea, talking to Anya. My offer will be on the table as long as you need to decide, I don't want you to feel rushed." Clarke flipped her hand and clasped Lexa's as she spoke, the blonde's concern for her and her dreams absolutely touching.
Despite the talk she'd have to have with Anya, she knew she wanted more than that, and more even than what Clarke had offered. "Thank you. But I was wondering...last night was fun, and I was honest in wanting to get to know you better. I know you're a busy woman, but I hear you and Anya get together on Thursdays, and I was wondering if maybe we could arrange something like that?"
"You want to be my friend?" Clarke asked simply, eyes sparkling with mischief.
Honestly, if Clarke didn't seem straight, and if she weren't so engrossed in family planning, Lexa was pretty sure she'd try for something other than friendship with the dazzling blonde. For now, friendship was far more than enough.
"I do. No matter my decision on your offer, I'd like to have you in my life, Clarke." Lexa admitted, hoping she wasn't coming on too strong. It could be hard making friends with people outside of the industry when she was so used to speaking certain ways that didn't quite capture sincerity all that well. After years of faking interest and enthusiasm, expressing those legitimately could feel a little foreign.
Clarke just shot her a wry grin. "I think I saw a bottle of champagne earlier. Maybe we could celebrate with mimosas?"
Lexa couldn't have contained her smile if she tried. Champagne. Mimosas. She could do that. She could definitely manage that.
A/N: Had the idea a while back about a fic where Lexa wants to start a family, and she and Clarke grow closer during the whole process, and pregnancy's actually handled more realistically, etc. And I am a sucker for friends to lovers tropes and trans rep, haha!
Happy holidays, I hope you enjoy :)