Hi, kids, didja miss me? Anyway, considering Office fanfiction is beginning to be suffused with excitement over the immenant spewing of Jim's spawn out of Pam's uterus, I figured I should do something that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with that. Whic is to say... Andy!fic. Each chapter is a standalone conversation. Spoilers for the last few episodes of season five and whatnot.
1. Dwight
"You are aware that Pam is the newest saleswoman?" Dwight asked/informed Andy.
"Yeah, what's up with that?" He couldn't help but wonder why Dwight had sequestered them in a corner of the parking lot just to share what was basically common knowledge.
"Are you aware of the new dynamic this will entail?" Dwight continued in his impatient, condescending way.
"Um..."
"Jim will clearly align with her, She has him completely ensnared with her feminine wiles. Their bond is impenetrable." He shook his head. "If only Michael had chosen the temp. He's not threatening in the least. Never made a sale."
"Wait, you actually think Pam is a threat?"
"Tch, no. But yes. Threatening enough. She and Halpert play dirty. I wouldn't put any sort of underhanded tactics past them.
Andy nodded gravely. "Thanks for the warning, man."
"Oh, I called you here for more than a debriefing. I'd like to propose an alliance."
"An alliance against Jim and Pam?"
"That's what I said."
"That does what, exactly?"
"That opposes their attempted coup of the office."
"Ah."
"Do you accept?"
"That sounds like... a great idea. Count me in!"
"Counted."
There was a shaking of hands, accompanied by a little too much devious grinning on both sides.
"So... what now?" Andy asked.
"I'll keep you posted. Any relevant correspondence will be delivered to you in an unmarked envelope placed in the bottom right-hand drawer of your desk, underneath the Debbie Gibson CD."
"Wait, you know about my backup party music stash?" Andy asked in scandalized tones.
"I know everything. Now go--casually!--before anyone learns of this meeting."
Andy wound his way through the parked cars and nearly tripped over the cameraman crouched among them.
Dwight sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose before slipping away himself.