DISCLAIMER: All characters are property of Lucas Films, LTD. I am not profiting from this work in any way.

This vignette was written in response to the July Ani/Ami Index Challenge: "Padmé finally realizes that Anakin truly has matured into a man."

Era: PT

Characters: Anakin/Padmé

Rating: PG

Don't Worry

by The Yellow Dart

Darkness fell on Coruscant, and she was alone. Again.

Her pain rose to the surface whenever she was away from the seemingly constant companionship of her fellow senators. Now that she was home, she finally allowed her emotions to surface from their well-hidden spot deep in her heart.

Uncertainty was, by far, the worst part of being a Jedi's wife. From the day she had married him, Padmé had known she would rarely get to see her husband -- at least until the war was over.

He had a duty. And she had a duty, too.

"Where are you, Anakin?" She knew he couldn't answer, but the vocalization almost helped.

She had to bear her pain in secret, unable to talk to anyone else. Her marriage had to be a secret, at least until the war ended. Sometimes she longed for some kind of support, but she was strong and never failed to put on a stoic front. No one could find out the truth.

Still, the dearth of communication left her nerves frazzled. She watched the holo-news every night, hoping to hear something about her husband, but dreading the worst.

Oh, she was nothing more than a masochist waiting for news of her husband's death.

At times like this, she felt like she might break. She curled up on the couch and pulled her legs up to her chest. The holo-news flickered before her, but nothing kept her attention.

A series of tears fell down her cheeks and she didn't bother wiping them away. Anakin could die out there, and she wouldn't find out until she saw a news report or heard something in the Senate.

She hiccupped loudly. Life wasn't fair. She deserved to fall asleep in her husband's strong arms and wake up to his soft kisses.

Suddenly, she felt so small in her large apartment. Without Anakin, her home seemed like a barren wasteland.

Every bone in her body missed him terribly.

It had been months since she had seen him; maybe it had been a year. She had the occasional letter and the even rarer com, yet the small, shiny, orb-shaped locket in her hand contained her only image of him. Sure, she had countless memories, but she often needed something tangible to protect her own sanity.

She ran her fingers along the locket and softly touched the latch that released the encased holo. Suddenly, his tall, lanky body appeared before her. It was Anakin. Her love. Just how she remembered him.

His hair was short and curly and the long padawan braid brushed against his neck. His passionate blue eyes stared at her with intense love and eternal devotion. That beautiful impish grin was spread across his face, and she wanted nothing more than to kiss him until that annoying smile was erased.

"Anakin," she breathed. If she concentrated hard enough, it was almost like she could reach out and touch him.

She sighed deeply. She hated this war that had drawn them apart so soon after they had found each other.

Why did he have to be a Jedi?

Why did she need him so badly?

Suddenly, she turned her attention back to the holo-news. She had missed the headline, but it seemed like two Jedi had been killed somewhere in the Outer Rim territories.

What if her worst nightmare had been realized?

Her mind jumped to the inevitable conclusion. Anakin. Anakin. Anakin was dead.

"No," she breathed. "It can't be." Her heart pounded wildly and her body trembled with fear. "Not Ani." Surely, she would know if he had been killed. There would be a profound emptiness deep in her heart that would cripple her.

The holo-news reporter's mechanical voice read, "The team of Kenobi and Skywalker . . ."

"No!" she screamed. She didn't hear the rest of the report. Her entire body went limp. "It can't be. Not Ani!"

She fell back and closed her eyes. The tears she had shed so many times before now failed to fall.

Her Anakin couldn't have died on a distant planet all alone. Not without her having the chance to say goodbye or to tell him how much she loved him.

She felt sick to her stomach and almost needed to run to the refresher.

The newscaster continued, "The Jedi team perished heroically in a battle . . ."

"No!" Padmé took a deep breath. He was lying. Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi were alive. This was all some horrible joke. "Ani! No!"

Suddenly, she was jolted back to reality by her com-link's incessant beeping. She stood up and rushed to her desk. A sinking feeling possessed her, knowing this could be a call from one of her colleagues confirming her gravest fear. Anakin was dead.

How would she go on living?

When she gazed at the com-link and saw the preview, her heart fluttered wildly. She pressed the button and his holo appeared before her. "Ani!"

Tears streamed down her cheeks and she didn't bother to wipe them away. "You're alive." She probably looked horrible to him: eyes red and puffy, cheeks flushed, dressed in one of the tunics he had left.

Anakin smiled benevolently, love shining from his eyes. "Padmé," he breathed reverently. "Don't cry, beautiful."

"I'm not beautiful," she replied instinctively.

"You're always beautiful."

"You're just saying that because you haven't seen me in so long. You're desperate."

He laughed. "I am desperate, and you are beautiful."

"You're just blinded by love." She smiled, but took a deep, shuddering breath. "Ani, I thought you were --"

"-- You thought a little blaster could kill me? Never." He waved his hand dismissively.

She bit the inside of her lip. Was this just a cruel dream? She couldn't believe his holo was standing right in front of her. "The news just said . . ."

"Oh, Padmé, I'm so sorry. I made a promise to you, love. I said I'd come home and I will."

Padmé took another heaving breath. "Oh, Ani." She shook her head slowly. They both knew promises could so easily be broken. "I thought I'd lost you."

"Hey," he breathed, in what he probably thought was a reassuring tone. "I love you. I couldn't die without telling you."

She sighed. Her Ani was different. His voice was deeper and more soulful than she remembered. He seemed older, like he had aged years in the months he had been gone. Once the shock had worn off, she allowed herself to study his image.

He was not the boyish husband who had left her so long ago. This Anakin was a man. His hair had grown long and curly, and gone was the padawan's braid. "Turn around. Let me see you."

He easily obliged. Padmé gasped at this new Anakin before her. He was still tall, but seemed even taller. His lanky frame appeared thicker, more muscular, sculpted by many hard battles.

He had an air of maturity gained only by witnessing the horrors of war. All of his innocence was long gone. More impressively, he was confident rather than cocky. Yet that intense love and longing in his eyes meant only for her remained.

The change had probably been a gradual one, catalyzed by months of war, but she had missed it all. And it saddened her. The boy who had left her had undergone a metamorphosis into the man who stood before her now. And what a gorgeous specimen of a man he was! If only he was with her . . .

"What do you think?" he asked softly.

"Wow, Ani, you're all grown up." Her heart pounded in her chest and her desire for him raged. She wanted to rip off all his clothes and plaster kisses over his entire body; she longed to feel his hard muscles under her hands. But she forced herself to sublimate that desire. Conversation was all they had. "I feel like I've missed so much."

He smiled self-consciously. "War does that to you. Tell me, what have I missed on Coruscant?"

She sighed deeply. "Nothing unusual. Other than the war, we're just squabbling about budget deficits, pandering to special interest groups, making tedious changes to insignificant clauses of legislations --" She saw that instead of listening to her in rapt attention, his gaze had drifted down to her chest. "-- but you don't really care about that. You're just being polite."

"What are you talking about? I care!" A wicked grin spread across his face.

"It's, you know, business as usual." She took a deep breath, ending the pretense of idle chit chat. "I've missed you."

His intense love and devotion shone in those deep blue eyes; that was the one part of him that was completely unchanged. "Not as much as I've missed you. Every day. Every moment. I long for you, for the day I can hold you in my arms again."

"Ani, I'm desperate for you. Please don't make this any harder."

He smiled sheepishly. "I'm sorry."

"No! Don't be! This is so hard for both of us." She let her gaze drift up and down his muscular frame. "You're hurt."

His hand came up to the fresh wound through his right eyebrow. "It's not that bad."

"You're lying." Her breath caught in her chest. She longed to jump through the galaxy to soothe all of his pain.

"It's not that bad," he repeated in his deep, breathy voice.

"Ani! You don't have to be a stoic Jedi around me."

"But I am a stoic Jedi." He chucked and shrugged.

"Ani!"

His face turned down into a frown. "I hear Obi-Wan. I have to go."

"No." She was reluctant to let him leave because she wasn't sure when the next time she could hear from him would be. "Please don't go."

"I love you," he breathed. A sad smile crossed his lips.

She blew him a kiss and said, "I'll be waiting here for you when you return." If you return.

"Don't worry. I'll be fine. I promise." And then the com ended and the holo dissolved.

"Don't worry," she echoed, knowing her fears would never disappear. She wrapped her arms around herself and sank back down on the couch.

"Don't worry."

The End

Author's Note: This is my first Star Wars fic! I have another that I have been working on, but it is nowhere near ready to post, so this is my first official fic! I'd like to thank AnnieM for her incredible brainstorming and proofreading and for telling me what several of the words in the challenge meant and for giving me a use for the word 'pander'. I'd like to thank Jedi Master Kaylle for her infinite Star Wars wisdom, and Anna and Jill for working in cohorts with Kaylle to make me sit down and watch the movies.

Feedback of any kind is greatly appreciated!