Bottom of the Ocean: a Maximum Ride FanFiction
It's been in the past for a while
Twenty Years, that's how long he will have been gone tomorrow. It was the day I was supposed to meet him for the first time, since he left.
I get a flash and I smile
I was lying in my bed, too anxious to go to sleep, it's night like this he would be there for me.
~flashback~
Iggy and I had just gotten into another argument. He threatened to leave if I couldn't help him get his sight back. He saw the video, the one I forgot about when I let him use the computer. He knew it could happen, he could get it back. But I wouldn't let him. He could end up dead just as easily as he ended up blind. He was willing to risk it, but I wasn't. I was currently lying in my bed as tears of frustration rolled down my face. I hated how weak that put me. How out of control I was of this situation. My mattress suddenly compressed under his additional weight. He didn't tease me about the tears. He just wiped them away, and held me as I let them fall.
~end of flashback~
Am I crazy? Still miss you baby
Twenty years, and I should be over him by now, right? I was thirty-five not fifteen. I should have moved on, settled down, and have raised a family by now. But, I didn't. Why not?
It was real, It was right
"Max!" he called.
"No, I'm going to get her, and I will kill you if you try to stop me!"
He gave me a concerened, questioning look, that i treasured.
"Max, I'll be backing you up."
He motioned to the control room. I realized just how right he was for me, and I kissed him.
But it burned too hot to survive
We kissed, ignoring the dirt and sweat on each other.
"You know we won't get any more alone time for a while."
"So let's make the most of it." He murmured while kissing my neck. I felt like I was in a bubble. A bubble for happiness, and I never wanted it to end. I thought of the flock and immediately felt guilty. The flock wasn't just Fang and I. It was all of us, all six of us.
All that's left is, all these ashes
I looked at my flock. We all stood around feeling teary eyed and numb from Fang leaving. We have fought Erasers, been tortured and almost killed. We've had our lives torn away, and replaced again, and again. I've seen them exhausted, and emotionally broken down. But not like this. They looked totally burned out from this vicious cycle. This was the last day. The flock was five, not six. I wasn't whole, and I knew that they weren't either, no one was at this point .They looked more delicate than when they had broken bones and split skulls. They, I, We all looked burned out. Burned out ashes that could be blown away any second.
Where does love go? I don't know
I started cutting after Iggy and Ella's wedding. I know, terrible sistership and all. But she got her happy ending, which made me happy. Didn't I deserve one after everything I had been put through my entire life? where was my happy ending? It couldn't be with him right?
When it's all said and done
The letter said it all. He left because he loved me. You couldn't get more solid than that.
Than why is he gone?
The voice kept nagging me.
How could I be losing you forever after all the time we spent together
I stabbed the adrenaline in the heart, where it really mattered. I remembered happy memories of Fang ALIVE
Fang trying to cheer me up in the cog crates.
Fang with Lissa.
Fang and I in the cave, when he first kissed me.
Fang and I in the tent
Fang and I in Vegas
Fang and I back at home
Fang… Fang
a/l/i/v/e
Have to know why I had to lose you
Why did he have to die here on the beach? I know I should call 911, but then they would know where we were. What could I do?
Now you've just become
Now he was gone, by choice, but not by death. If he really loved me, why did he leave me?
Like everything I'll never find again
Dylan wasn't Fang.
Dylan wasn't my soul mate.
He was even close.
He didn't have experiences with me.
No, he wasn't him. He wasn't Fang
No matter how hard I tried or how hard I wanted it to be, I was still in love with Fang, and couldn't love Dylan.
At the bottom of the ocean
The sky was my place; it's odd how the biggest epiphany of my life happened at the bottom of the ocean. Where I was going crazy, and the complete opposite of where I actually felt free.
f/r/e/e/d/o/m
It was there, where I felt more caged than ever, that I knew he was it, that he was perfect for me.
p/e/r/f/e/c/t
He had been there for me through that entire long end of continuous nightmares, that we all called life. He was my emotional support. He kept me grounded. My emotional rock, and my anchor.
a/n/c/h/o/r
When he left, I fell apart. My body was on land, my head in the sky, and my heart left there.
At the bottom of the ocean.
b/o/t/t/o/m/o/f/t/h/e/o/c/e/a/n
In a dream you appeared for a while you were here, so I keep sleeping just to keep you with me
I was flying. I was high up. Flying straight towards the moon. Up against the unnatural orange moon was the silhouette. It was him. It was an image that I knew so well. I tried to catch up to him. I tried to reach him, but I could never get to him. He was out of touch from me. uNrEaChAbLe
I draw a map connect the dots
Those first few days were rough. Me seemingly alone, trying to pull myself together.
t/o/g/e/t/h/e/r
I tried remembering him, daydreaming about that day we would meet when we would reunited and fall back into love
h/a/p/p/i/l/y
Like normal 100% humans.
What I'm missing, I'll keep reliving
I did this to stop the pain. To stop me from going over the edge.
i/n/s/a/n/i/t/y
Why did he leave me where I was? Where was he? Was he sucking faces with red heads? I couldn't stand it. I couldn't shut down my brain, couldn't stop myself from thinking.
This is it
This was the cave. I could see the dark opening off in the distance. After so many years of waiting, this was it. I would be meeting him again.I'll see him again. Twenty years of torture and depression.
p/a/i/n
I would see him again. I would be ridden of this burden. I would finally be healed.
Breathe
I saw his shadow, heard his breathing, felt his eyes. I was surrounded.
By Fang. Could he hear my heart beat? I had to breathe before getting lost in his eyes
b/r/e/a/t/h/e
You don't have to love me
I knew then, that day on the beach I made a mistake. He didn't love me, and I didn't love him right?
i/m/p/o/s/s/i/b/l/e
For we to be together
He was like my brother, nothing separate that bond we had, right?
s/e/p/e/r/a/t/e/d
Understand
He would understand, right?
I loved the time that we both had
I smiled, remembering those few blissful days we had shared together
b/l/i/s/s
In Vegas, and in Hawaii. The would have been perfect, if the world weren't against me . Against us.
I don't want to ever see you sad
I hated when she cried. Though you would never be able to tell, it tore me up. Especially when she cried. That time on the beach, was the worst of all. I was scared that once I finally realized I loved her, she would be torn away from me, from us.
t/o/r/n
It's how I always felt about Max. From how I love her, to how to talk to her. Now that she could have been gone, I realized that I needed her.
Be happy
That's I want for her, happiness.I don't want to hold you if you don't want to tell me you love me
"Max," I murmered into her hair. I had my arms wrapped around her, and it felt so right. But why didn't I feel whole. Why was their still a doubt in my mind. Why did it feel wrong?
God I missed her, missed this. Precious moments like this.
"I missed you," she whispered into my chest.
"I still loved you" I whispered into her hair. She pulled away as if suddenly burned. She looked stiff where just a moment ago she looked perfectly content to be with me, now I wasn't so sure. I tried to mask the hurt on my face from her sudden withdrawal. I turned to my reflexes to make myself unreadable.
Just know that I'm going to have to walk away
It didn't happen. I wasn't magically healed. I was still in pain. Still felt betrayed. I couldn't live like this. We couldn't live like this.
I'll be big enough for both of us to say
"I'm sorry" they two in the cave said in unison. They had both been through too much to magically fall in love again. It wouldn't work.
Be happy
Apart seemed to be the only way to live happily anymore. So their love could only be NeVeRmOrE and left behind
At the bottom of the ocean
A/N: hey guys, I didn't want to put this at the beginning, thought it might ruin it. Hope you liked it. Sorry it had a sort of sad ending, I was in one of my moods when I wrote this. So I found it, read it and promised this in my other Maximum Ride story. Hope you caught the pov changes, and I'll give you a marshmallow if you can figure out what time period in the story that the different scenes take place in. hope you like it, and that it wasn't totally iNsAnE teehee please review, it would really mean a lot to me ;)~ iheartigers