"ACCIO" he screamed, flicking his wand in the direction of an unspecified, irrelevant object which will not here or ever be clarified. It came to him, certainly, but leaving a mark as it did so. "Must run in the family," he muttered.
And so it did.
A lot seemed to run in his family. Like genital herpes. And sickle cell anemia. And bacne. But he was a strong kid. Despite his small size and lack of good looks he kept on keeping on.
After a second he realised that nothing had happened. "It might help eef you flick your vand in zee right vay." He heard a voice behind him say.
He often heard many voices behind him.
It was wont to happen when he was often walking down dark alleys chasing after some villain or another. But he had never heard one quite like this one before
"Tunak tunak tunak tunak tunak tunak tunak tunak tun tha tha tha…"
Suddenly, four identical men in silken robes and TURBANS were coming at him singing in some foreign language that scared the grease out of his hair.
But not quite.
There was so much grease in there that nothing short of a Birmingham riot would wash it out.
Mummy didn't like foreigners.
Daddy didn't like "unnecessary" cleansing.
"Oy! What the devil are you lot going on about?" he asked as he swung around, his shimmering cape swinging behind him. "Oh, my—"
He was taken aback.
Why taken aback? You might ask. He lived in Britannia, sweet Britannia but had never seen a Panjab get-down?
No. He hadn't.
And the Panjabis proceeded to get down right in front of him.
Little did he know, he would soon be on a brightly lit, happily musik'ed, Bollywood adventure.
Or not.
"Oy, Sevie-poo!" cackled a dark haired, statuesque young lad. Bugger. Sirius.
An irritant of the highest degree, he was. Not only was he a complete stunner in the eyes of every creature possessing a regina…(Severus did not know the technical term for the anatomical detail: he had heard it mentioned—though it was the same as his cousin's middle name…those muggles, and he knew he did not posses one...well, sort of, but that was neither here nor there)…but he was of the purest stock possible. For Sirius here was a Black. Yes, that Black. And he threw it all away…the glory, the prestige, the recognition, to be in Gryffindor.
Idiot.
"What in the name of the good Rowena Ravenclaw are you doing?" fake trilled a similarly tall, lanky boy by his side.
Severus felt his blood go cold(er).
Potter…James Potter.
Words could not describe his hatred for the spastic horse-fucker.
Or was that his unborn son? He could not remember.
Severus needed to stop these "premonitions", as his mother called them, or "fuckin' magyk psycho lapses" as his father did. He noticed he only had his "lapses" after his father beat him…or he would have had he been remotely observant.
After he had composed himself to a degree, he processed their comments.
He looked down at himself.
Oh. Shit.
There were no bleeding brown people. There were no mudbloods. There was no music.
All there was was him, lying on the floor. Alone.
…EFFFFF…..
"REALLY, my dear Jamie, what does it look like he was doing?" Black taunted in reply.
Severus jumped up from the floor.
"It wasn't what you think. REALLY" he truthfully stated. "I'm not…I wasn't…the fumes…mummy said…"He sighed, dusted himself off, and hurried back from the Potions dungeons to the Slytherin commons, where he could go to his room and think in peace.
But, of course, he could never think in peace, so was his life.
His idiot roommates were there; all of whom would "simply would not associate with his type."
Whatever. IT DIDN'T BOTHER HIM. They were all pansyish, very whatever sort of boy…not eliciting much response except "Whatever", "Who?" and most often "Oh…how unfortunate."
Oh wait, that was HIM.
Fail.
He sighed. How unfortunate, indeed. His mum was from one of the purest families around…well, sort of…ish…so how the hell did he end up looking like this?! It was a travesty.
A TRAVESTY.
FML.
A Ravenclaw would perhaps suggest all the inbreeding had caused him to look like this, but as a Superior Slytherin he knew better.
Oh, did he know better.