Midnight: Hello, my dear lovely readers! It's me again. I told you I'm back, didn't I? So, yeah, I don't have classes today and I just thought of writing another LilyJames OneShot.
Tomorrow, I still don't have classes and I can update AY Chapter 10 tomorrow or on Sunday. It's almost done. All I need is to check for any grammatical glitches and other stuff. Anyways, did I ever tell you how great it feels to be a Senior? No? Well, I just did.
We all know how funny it is when James is persistent when it comes to his Lily Evans, right?
I thought that maybe it was about time to create a fanfic about our favorite messy-raven-haired-quidditch-captain losing his determination for his beloved Lily Evans. I hope it isn't very OOC though.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
His patience was wearing thin. Her never-ending rejections; they were starting to make him unsure. It seemed like no matter how hard he tried, she would never love him back. Despite his determination, the pain he feels is still penetrating. He had promised himself that this would be his final attempt. Whether she was still worth it or not, he was not sure anymore.
Took You Long Enough
He could still hear her voice.
Oh, that sweet, sweet voice that he loves so much; the fiery expression she would always have whenever she would yell at him. And her green, luminous eyes were blazing.
"Go away, Potter! I don't love you; how many times do I have to tell you or is your head that thick for you to not understand me?" She had previously screamed at him earlier that day.
He doesn't know why.
Why, she had to look so beautiful. Even when she was angry at him; from her fiery, auburn hair down to her toes, she was beautiful. Every part of her was beautiful.
There might never even be a time that he didn't thought she was beautiful.
He tried so hard to ignore her harsh and venomous words but somehow, they would always seem to find a way to crawl into his mind and start to torture him with negative thoughts.
He was walking alone in the cold, empty hallway. He wasn't sure where he was heading, though. All he knew was he needed to get away from there.
He kept walking and walking until he reached the Clock tower Courtyard. He stopped in front of the pear tree and sat down on one of its roots.
Noticing a small bed of roses next to the said tree, he reached over and plucked one of the roses and held it in his hand as he recalled the harsh words she would always tell him.
Words that came from her and would always cause a painful pang in his heart- though, he would never admit that to anyone, of course. Even to his best mates.
It was horrendous to think that Lily could tell him such an ugly message with such an angelic voice.
"My, Lily, such harsh words."
Unconsciously holding the rose tighter in his hand, he felt its thorns cutting a small part of his skin.
It was supposed to hurt, but he couldn't feel any pain right now.
In fact, he couldn't feel anything at all. He felt numb.
His empty hazel eyes looked up and saw that the sky had turned into a sea of orange and pastel pink.
Normally, when he was upset or needed time to think, he would always come to the Quidditch Pitch and ride his broomstick and feel the cool air as he soar the skies, trying to forget all of his problems.
But today, he wasn't in the mood to ride his broomstick.
He can already picture her, with one book in her hand and the other hand on her hip, with her usual irritated expression whenever she saw her, still as beautiful as ever, saying,
"You're not in the mood to ride your broomstick, Potter? The-Great-James-Potter not in the mood to fly? Something must be up today."
Smiling bitterly, he gingerly wiped the crimson blood off his hand.
He was a complete mess; hopeless and desperate.
James had sent her a note just now-using his owl of course, asking her to meet him although he already knew that she wouldn't come.
Even if this is his last attempt to prove to her that he was deserving of her love and to also prove himself that she is something that is worth fighting for, she wouldn't come.
Why?
"Because," he sighed.
"she simply doesn't love me." He said as the wind carried away his bitter laugh.
Looking at the sky again, he waits for her...
Lily Evans was in the library, reading some books that she had gathered up. After her encounter with James Potter earlier that day, she finally decided to come to the library and read away.
In the middle of her reading, she noticed an owl tapping its beak on the glass window beside her; in its beak was a note.
Opening the window, the owl hopped inside and she took the note from its beak. After getting the note from the owl, it flew away, leaving her slightly astonished. Recovering quickly, she closed the window and went back to her seat, reading the note.
Lily! Could you come and meet me right now? I am at the Clockwork tower courtyard, under the pear tree and I need to tell you something. It's something that needs to be told in person. Please come? I'll be waiting for you. -James
Frowning, she ignored the note that a certain Quidditch Captain sent to her. At the same time, she tried to ignore the feeling of pain, guilt and regret that she suddenly felt.
She doesn't know why he chose her. Her, of all people. Why did he have to be in love with her?
She could never really understand how.
How he could still love her despite the constant rejections she had repeatedly told him. How he could even be alright, even if she continuously tries to push him away, and say everything that would hurt him.
And, she doesn't even know why she had to lie to herself that she hates him when in fact, what she feels for him is very much the opposite of what she would always proclaim.
Day by day is she breaking her heart whenever she broke his. She couldn't even count the number of times she had rejected her own feelings whenever she rejects his.
The truth is; she is a terrible, selfish, unfair fool and a cruel coward.
She is scared, but she knows that the feeling is there, deep within her heart.
She knows that she loves him very much. So much that it scares her.
She is scared that maybe if she started to succumb to the love that she feels for him, she might not be able to love him the way he loves her, and that she wouldn't be enough and right for him.
She is just afraid of getting hurt.
Pushing past her thoughts, she sighed and began reading another book.
A few hours later, Lily was woken up by the school librarian, Madam Irma Pince, and she realized that she had fallen asleep while reading.
Glancing at the library window, she saw that the sky had turned from a sea of orange and pastel pink to pitch black; the moon was as big and luminous as ever and the stars were already out.
"What time is it, Madam Pince?"
"It's already ten minutes to eight, dear. You've been asleep for four hours now. The library isn't a place for sleeping, Lily."
"I'm sorry, Madam Pince."
"It's alright. I suggest you gather your things and go back to your House. The library is about to close and your friends might be looking for you."
"Yes, Madam Pince. Goodnight and I'm sorry for sleeping."
"It's fine dear, Goodnight to you too."
She gathered up her things, snapped the book shut and stood up. Reluctantly glancing at the note James gave her, she went on her way to the Common Room.
'He wouldn't wait for me, right? I'm sure by the time I get to the Common Room; he'll be there, fooling around with his friends.'
If she only knew how wrong she was.
James woke up with a stiff neck.
He was still under the pear tree, the rose still on his hand, waiting for Lily. He realized that he had fallen asleep and had skipped dinner.
That would explain why he suddenly felt a tad bit hungry. He rubbed his aching neck and casted a healing charm to it as he glanced around. He noticed that his surroundings were swallowed in shadows and the only source of light there was the moon.
Yawning a bit, he removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. Placing his glasses back on, he looked at the clock on the Clockwork Tower, then to the sky.
10:35 pm.
"It's already this late?" He murmured in an empty, dull voice.
He didn't recognize his own voice.
Seeing that Lily would never come, he sighed and stood up, stretching.
"So this is what it feels like to be so heartbroken," He said, as he placed the rose he was holding on his previous seat.
"Oh, Lily...the things you make me do." He laughed bitterly as he felt the painful stinging sensation in his chest constricted his heart again.
'There's no point in crying. I'm just an idiotic fool who deluded himself to think that she would ever love me back. Ah, well, C'est la vie.'
Hands on his pockets, he shivered slightly as the cool night air hit him on his way back to the Common Room.
She had received another note from the same owl yesterday.
You didn't come yesterday, Lily. I guess that means that you really don't love me, right? So, on behalf of my constant persuasions in the past, I apologize to you. I won't ever bother you again. Although, let me say it one last time. I love you, Lily Evans. I hope that you'll be happier than me. –James
She was flabbergasted. She had re-read the note over and over again as guilt and regret formed a horrible mixture inside her.
He had waited for her.
He had waited for her, just like he said in the note. He waited at the Clockwork Tower courtyard. Just for her; just like he had promised.
Sitting down on her bed, the note still in her hand, she sighed.
She could perfectly picture him yesterday; sitting under the pear tree, looking at the sky, patiently hoping that she would come.
And when she did, he would smile that breath-taking smile of his and say something that will agitate her. Rolling her eyes, she would start to retort something and they would bicker.
After that, they would fall silent and he would tell her that he loves her and she would finally give in and tell him that she loves her too. He'll smile once more and they'll share a kiss and he'll say,
"I'm glad you came."
Then afterwards, everything will be alright. As long as they have each other, everything will be alright.
But she didn't come. She didn't even have the decency to owl him back. Besides, what else is left to say? That she loves him when she's clearly too late?
Maybe this is what she deserved; she kept hurting the one she loves the most and maybe this was her karma for doing such a cruel thing.
'I am such a fool; a completely cruel fool.'
She had perked-up when she had heard his voice behind her in the hallway.
That voice that always made shivers run down her spine.
She would have known that smooth, velvety voice anywhere, no matter how far away it was from her. And sure enough, there he was, just a few meters away from her, looking as handsome as usual.
Stopping in her tracks, she suddenly felt nervous as she felt him growing near.
And when he stopped behind her, she was pretty sure that her heart might explode out of her chest due to the fact that it was beating rapidly.
"Evans?" He called out.
Turning around to face him, she almost blushed at the sight of him.
Even when his face was neutral, he was still as handsome as ever.
But that didn't stop her from noticing the slight change in his voice. It sounded so…dull and empty. It didn't sound like his usual light and carefree self. His eyes also lost a luminescence of their playful, mischievous shine.
"Yes?" She had managed to choke out.
"What are you doing, standing in the middle of the hallway? You'll get bumped."
"N-Nothing." She stammered, blushing a bit.
"Alright, just be careful. You might cause trouble for other students." He nodded and walked away.
If a while ago, her heart was rapidly beating, she was pretty sure that it had completely stopped beating right now.
He didn't even say hello to her. And he had even prioritized the other students before her. Before, she would be more important to him than anything.
But just now, as he just stared at her; his dull, lifeless hazel-eyes into her forest green ones, she knew that she had cut him deeply.
She felt guiltier than ever; Lily stared at his back and bit her lip.
Turning away, she quickly went to her next class, still feeling the tears burn in her eyes.
He thought he was hallucinating, but he wasn't.
He actually saw Lily. Re-phrasing that, he instantly spotted her in a sea of students.
Of course he would see her. This is Lily we're talking about.
Even when she was still a few meters away from him, she still looked as beautiful as ever. He watched as she suddenly stopped in the middle of the hallway, a sea of students walking past her.
He was about to turn away, leave her there before he could do something that might break the promises he had made to himself; but as if his body had a mind of its own, he realized that he was walking towards her.
And when he had finally approached her, he saw her tense a little bit.
She was standing close enough for him to hear her, but too far away for him to touch.
"Evans?" He called out, his heart beating faster than ever.
She had turned around to look at him when he called her; her fiery, auburn hair was in a neat braid and her big, luminous forest-green eyes showed surprise.
He almost swallowed his tongue upon seeing her again after these few weeks of his depression.
James used again all of his willpower to stop himself before he could yank her to him and just kiss her senseless.
"Yes?" She had answered him in her usual voice, sounding music to his ears.
"What are you doing, standing in the middle of the hallway? You'll get bumped." He had asked her, trying his best to sound distant and nonchalant.
"N-Nothing." She stammered; face flushed.
He desperately tried his best not to react when she had blushed in front of him. No matter how adorable she looked, he must control himself.
"Alright, just be careful. You might cause trouble for other students." He nodded and walked away.
He knew what he did was rude and cruel but he couldn't help it.
If he were to stay there a bit more, he wouldn't know what he might have done. He might just screw everything he had promised to himself and just claim her again as his.
Even though she was never his to begin with.
"I know that you two are wondering why you have been summoned here," Professor McGonagall said; pushing her glasses up.
Lily looked at James, who just simply glanced at her and turned his attention back to McGonagall.
"The reason why you two have been summoned is because you two are chosen as the Head Boy and Head Girl of the Gryffindor House. Congratulations to the two of you." McGonagall added.
James looked like about to say something but he just shook his head and kept his face neutral.
"Is there any problem?" McGonagall asked.
"None, Professor." The two said, simultaneously.
The two looked at each other for a bit but Lily quickly turned away, feeling rather shy.
"Alright, you two may now leave. Goodnight Miss Evans. Goodnight Mister Potter." McGonagall said and the two teenagers bided her goodnight as well.
Stepping out of her office, there was an awkward silence between the two as they were heading back to the Common Room.
"Um," She started, chewing on her lower lip.
James turned his head to meet Lily's eyes. He just looked at her with a calm, expressionless face and raised his eyebrow.
Her heart thrummed inside her chest as she started to fidget a bit on the hem of her uniform.
"I hope we get along." She finished, lamely.
He only responded by nodding and keeping his eyes ahead.
Disappointment flooded inside her as she dropped the topic and when they got inside the Common Room, James quickly went to his friends; Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew.
Sighing, she went to her dorm; seeing that James didn't want anything to do with her.
She hated it whenever he would respond only a little and seem so aloof to her.
She hated how it hurts to see him like he would rather be somewhere else, than being stuck with her as Head Boy.
Even though, deep down in her heart, she knew that it was her entire fault that he had become like this to her.
The pain he feels in his heart becomes greater and greater whenever he sees her.
And it was getting harder and harder for him to resist her.
How could you resist those luminous, forest green eyes, that fiery-auburn hair and that lovely, sweet smile of hers and her melodic, angelic voice?
Sometimes, he even wishes to hate her. It would be a whole lot easier for him if he hated her.
He wouldn't be suffering this much if he did hate her.
There are times when he thinks that he hates her. But then, her sweet, angelic smile suddenly flashes into his mind and he completely forgets everything.
He's just desperately in love with her.
He knows that his pain doesn't affect her. Not one bit.
He should try-no, he must move on.
In order to save his heart from breaking any further, he has to.
But why is it so hard? Especially when everything he sees is a constant reminder of her.
Why can't she just love him the way he loves her?
He doesn't know what went wrong.
He was failing Potions Class so Professor Slughorn had asked him to come to the Potions Room and there will be someone who will be tutoring him on the said subject.
Knocking on the door, he waited for someone to tell him to come inside.
When there wasn't any response, he opened the door and glanced around the room; he saw that he was still alone.
'I wonder who my tutor would be.'
Heading towards a vacant table, he placed his Potion-related things on it and began trying the procedure that Professor Slughorn had given him.
Flipping some of the pages of his Potions book, he had skimmed the pages, looking for a new potion to brew.
Following the exact instructions in the book, he still didn't know what had gone wrong.
Sighing, he looked at the potion he was trying to make.
Amortentia.
Surprised, he didn't even notice the door opening.
"Professor Slughorn? I got the ingredients for the Amortentia potion you asked me to get. Who will I be tutoring this ti-oh,"
That voice. He knew that voice too well.
Sure enough when he looked up at the doorway, there she was, Lily Evans, carrying a bunch of weird-looking ingredients, looking as surprised as he was.
She cleared her throat and nodded at him.
"Potter," She greeted.
Merlin, how he missed her voice.
"Evans." He said, trying to act aloof.
"So, you're my tutor, huh?" He added, seemingly unaffected but deep down, his heart was beating rapidly like no tomorrow.
"So it seems; let's get started then." She said, standing across him at the table and setting the ingredients down and flipping her book.
He answered by nodding.
"So, Potter, show me what you can do."
No words could express how nervous she felt when she had busted into the Potions Room and saw him there.
She saw that he was as surprised as she was.
The first emotion she had seen from him in weeks.
"Potter," She greeted, hiding her astonishment.
"Evans." He said; his voice dull.
Merlin, how she missed his voice.
"So, you're my tutor, huh?" He added.
She wondered whether he was thrilled or not.
"So it seems; let's get started then." She said, standing across him at the table and setting the ingredients down and flipping her book.
His only response to her was a nod.
She almost frowned when he did that.
"So, Potter, show me what you can do." Hiding her disappointment, she started preparing the ingredients.
As she continues to guide his hand on how to gently stir the potion clockwise, she felt him relax to her touch, and she felt a warm, fuzzy feeling bubbling inside her.
She hadn't felt that feeling for a long time...
When he finally got it right, she had stopped guiding his hand and watched him do his task.
"So, who is this Amortentia for?" She had asked as he looked up at her, raising his eyebrow.
"Keep stirring." She added.
He looked at the cauldron and kept stirring while saying,
"No one particular, of course. I don't even know why Professor Slughorn would ask me to brew a love potion." He answered, still in his dull, empty voice.
"I see," she quietly said.
When he was done brewing Amortentia, he had asked her if she could teach him to brew the Awakening potion.
"What on earth are you going to do with that?" She asked him.
"Just thought I would prank Padfoot and make him wide awake until he begs me for the antidote." He said, smirking slightly.
She frowned at him, but obliged to do it anyway.
"That isn't very nice, you know." She scolded him.
"Since when did you ever see a Marauder being nice, Evans?" His eyebrow rose as he had a slightly amused expression on his face.
She knows he was teasing her. Even though it wasn't as obvious as before, she just knows he's teasing her.
Deciding not to answer him, she waved her wand and let the potion cool down for a bit.
Setting her wand back to the table, she felt his cool arm brush against hers. Expecting him to recoil against her touch, she was surprised when he didn't. Instead, he just kept it there, their arms touching each other.
She felt her heart leap up to her throat, and she swore that her soul almost left her.
Trying her best not to react, she bit back the smile that was creeping into her face as the warm, fuzzy feeling suddenly buzzed in her chest.
If this is how it feels, then she would give anything to bring time back.
When they were done brewing the Awakening potion, he had thanked her for teaching him and had offered to help her when she said that she would clean up their mess.
"It's fine. Besides, I need to tell Professor Slughorn something. I'll see you later…James." She blushed when his name suddenly slipped out of her mouth.
His heart thrummed in his chest when she had said her name, blushing.
"I'll see you later too…Lily." He said, slightly smiling a little at her.
As he departed the Potions Room, he begins to think if she isn't really worth fighting for.
He began walking. Walking and walking until he had reached the same pear tree again at the Clock tower courtyard.
'Well, there still is something that's worth fighting for, and that is, I love her.' He thought as he sat down.
And that pretty much encouraged him.
A genuine smile finally spread throughout his face. His eyes regained again their lost luminescence.
Using his owl, he had sent her another note.
He'll try again. Just one more time...
She has finally decided.
After weeks and weeks of her depression towards him, she fully knows to herself that she is not afraid anymore. She loves him and that she wanted to be with him.
She won't hide it any longer. She would become brave and tell him.
"I love James Potter." She said as she felt a heavy weight being lifted off her chest.
She saw James' owl with a note.
The owl dropped the note and quickly flew away. Picking the note up and reading it, she almost cried out in happiness.
Finally, she thought.
FINALLY.
She ran outside the Potions Room and dashed to the Clockwork tower courtyard, stopping in front of the pear tree, the note in her hand.
"Took you long enough."
He said, emerging behind the said tree, a rose in his hand, his smile as vibrant as ever.
The wind suddenly blew. Her hair flying wildly around her face; she tucked them behind her ears as fallen leaves and rose petals started to dance around them, creating a beautiful scenery.
Breathless and face flushed, she smiled widely as he handed her the said rose.
"I love you, Lily Evans." he said, looking at her with so much love.
Tearing up, she answered him,
"I love you too, James Potter."
Bringing her close to him, he closed the space between them and pressed his lips against hers.
When the two pulled away, Lily smiled at him and said,
"Here, I think your owl dropped this."
James laughed and read the note he had sent her.
It turns out, you're worth fighting for, after all.
Midnight: So, that's the end for that. I'm sorry if the ending was a bit cheesy. I'm not very good in making endings. But I do hope you will review and love this story.
I also tried to make Lily and James not OOC. I think I did a good job...I hope.
Anyways, same old, same old. Read and review, please?
Also, please check out my other stories!
Until my next update; Au revoir! x