What Is Love

Summary: Harry contemplates what love is to him as a person and how it will help him out in the future. OotP spoilers and some snippets to HBP. AU. Pairings: HHr, RL, NG, other pairings. Rated M

Chapter 1 Closure and Revelations

"What is love?" I asked myself as I stared blankly outside my window on Private Drive. You see my name is Harry Potter and I'm no ordinary person, I'm a wizard that lives with my aunt and uncle during summer because of a blood protection from my mother that I found out a year ago.

I'm no ordinary wizard either to all in the Wizarding world I'm the Bloody Boy Who Lived because I survived and my parents didn't.

I threw my hands up in frustration as I thought about the reason my parents died and also the reason I lost my godfather, which brought tears to my eyes and anger at the thought of it.

The stupid prophecy which Voldemort wanted to know about is the reason.

He wanted to know the whole contents from me.

My eyes narrowed dangerously at the thought of Dumbledore, he's also the reason my godfather is dead, and Snape as well, my hands clench at the mere mention of both names.

If Snape hadn't quit teaching me Occulemcy and if Dumbledore told me the prophecy then I wouldn't be in this position. I can still remember the prophecy as clear as the day:

"The one with the power approaches as the seventh month dies. Born to those who have thrice defied him… Born as the seventh month dies, he will be marked as the dark lord's equal and he will have the power the dark lord does not… Born as the seventh month dies, for neither can live while the other survives. Born as the seventh month dies…

I recited in my head. Dumbledore says that the power is love, which is the reason I repelled Voldemort from my body.

I still despise Dumbledore because I could've prevented my godfathers death, but I kind of forgive him, but it'll take awhile for me to trust him fully again.

This raises my earlier question and the reason why I'm bringing this up "What is love?" I repeated again out loud as I continue to look outside the bright sun shining heavenly on me. I don't know what love is, is it friendship.

I could only shake my head and muttered "I don't deserve there friendship for leading them into danger…" I kept muttering while thinking up possible ways on what love is to me.

I have Ron and Hermione, but they haven't even written to me and when they do it's very little.

I heard a hoot and looked over at Hedwig and gave her a affectionate smile; she only hooted in response and puffed out her wings.

I only snorted at her behavior and said "Only you can do the impossible Hed."

I looked up at the sky and thought about Hermione's last letter, which still got me flustered every time I thought of the letter I think of Hermione and how I almost lost her, which causes me to think of my godfather, which puts me in a depressed state.

Then I started laughing uncontrollably as a sudden thought came to me. 'I have a crush on my best friend and I'm wallowing in self-pity because I lost my godfather who I know will frown upon me and tell me in a humorous tone:

"You shouldn't mourn me, you should laugh for me and be happy for me cause I'm with your mom and dad playing pranks and poking fun with your father."

I quickly sobered up as I thought of Sirius and I realized that he wouldn't want to be mourn he would've wanted me to have fun and remember the good times we've together; even if it was that long.

"Boy get down here and cook us some dinner." I heard my uncle yelling from downstairs. I sighed and with a grim smile on my face went downstairs and cook dinner for the muggles.

I went upstairs an hour later after a rather bad lashing with my uncle. I could hear him mutter "Ungrateful freak." Yup that's Vernon normal personality kicking in.

When I went inside my room I went my window and opened it to let Hedwig out and handed her a letter I previously wrote to the order. "Be careful Hed when you deliver this to moony okay." I said.

She gave me an affectionate nip on the finger and took off into the night. I stayed there for a few more minutes watching her disappear into the night sky.

I sighed and look over at my clock which read 10:00 p.m.

"Better get to bed now and face my nightmares, instead of later." I muttered to myself.

I changed out my clothes and stayed in my boxers because it being so hot I didn't need the extra layers on me.

I climbed into bed and once I hit the pillow sleep overtook me quickly and I went into a restless dream.

Dream State:

I'm walking down the familiar path of the path to the veil where I know that I'll have to face Sirius falling threw the veil and him blaming me for his death, but I'm ready to face him this time.

"I will not break down this time" I said determinably.

I reached veil and notice right away that something was wrong because Sirius wasn't accusing me of his death or saying that it was my fault, in fact he was standing right in front of me with a smile on his face.

I looked at him bewilder and said almost hesitatingly "Your not… going to spout off insults or blame me, or anything like that are you?" The man in front of me just laughs and shook his head in a negative way.

"No Harry, I'm not as a matter of fact I came here to talk to you, say how proud I am that you are accepting the fact that my death is not your fault and are moving on, quite brilliantly might I add," Sirius said. I looked at my godfather with tears of joy and sadness and relief as well.

I quickly grabbed him in a joyous hug which he returned happily. "You have no idea how much I miss you, every time I get a letter I think it's from you, but then I remember what happen and I get angry, sad, and cry for the fact that I lost the only father figure I came to love." I said through sobs.

"Don't worry cub, I'm hear, well not physically, but spiritually I am hear in your heart and memories, never forget Harry." Sirius said trying to console his sobbing godson.

I nodded to him. Slowly my sobbing ceased and I was able to calm myself better. "I can't stay long Harry, I was only allowed to come because of your acceptance of my death and I was to be massager for your parents because they couldn't come."

I looked up at padfoot with acceptance and understanding. "What did they say?" I asked excitedly. Padfoot chuckled and replied "They say that they are proud of you, they love you and James wanted me to tell to kick Voldie's big white snake's ass."

I looked at Sirius with wide eyes.

I grinned at him and he grinned back. "Don't worry Siri I'll do my best, tell mom and dad that I love them and tell them that I'll do everything in my power to make Voldemort's life a living hell." I said smiling at him.

"Is there anything else you want me to tell them." I shook my head and said "Just tell them that I love them and hope that someday we'll be able to meet face to face in the afterlife, in a long time." I finished saying.

Padfoot nodded and said "Well I got to go cub, tell moony to stop mourning and to get off his ass and ask my cousin Tonks out." Padfoot said. "Don't worry Pad I'll tell him, love you." I said as I hugged Sirius one final time. "Love you to cub."

I watch him disappear with a smile on my face as I realize that I truly did move on and this was my closure that I needed. "Goodbye indeed, brother." I whisper as I woke up from the dream I had. I closed my eyes and went into a dreamless sleep with a smile on my face.