Title: W is for Windows
Author:DreamBrother
Summary:(Summer Alphabet Challenge 2007) One-shot. Are you watching closely?
Disclaimer:I had nothing to with the creation of the show, but it's very flattering if you think so.
Author's Note:Wanted to try out a little experiment with this fic. I wanted to see if greater word countgreater impact. I always think it's what you write, not how much you write (You hear that, Cambridge examiners? I may not have written pages upon pages but it's about quality, not quantity! Don't dock my grade!) Where was I, oh yeah, on with this little ficcie before my A/N turns out to be longer than the fic.
W is for Windows
Charlie peered out of the living room window, searching for his brother's SUV to come and park in the driveway. Don and Megan were supposed to have dinner at his place tonight, along with his father, Larry and Amita. David and Colby had also been invited but unable to attend due to previous plans. The time was 8 30 in the evening and Don and Megan were half an hour late and Charlie was getting hungry, hence his position by the window, searching for any sign of his brother's car. With his stomach rumbling, Charlie could not distract himself with math nor with intellectually stimulating conversation with his colleagues and his father had kicked him out of the kitchen after too many attempts at snatching some garlic bread while his father's back was turned.
His mind soon wandered off. Looking at his neighbour's houses, he recalled that time when he and Don were kids and one of the neighbour's windows had been broken by a stray baseball and all fingers pointed to Don, leading to a two-week grounding. Charlie shook his head at the memory, remembering that even till today, Don felt wronged because his crime was "never proven". Charlie and Don knew better though; Don had broken that window, but what irked him was that there wasn't any shred of evidence to tie him to the crime, the baseball had not even belonged to him, and it wasn't fair that he was found guilty and sentenced without a fair trial. Even then Charlie knew that had their mother studied criminal law, and not property law, Don would have pored through her old textbooks to overturn his punishment.
Charlie was shaken out of his memory but the sight of his brother's SUV pulling up the driveway and Don and Megan getting out of the car. He was about to call out to his father that dinner could be served, the latecomers were here, when Don paused in his tracks and answered his cell-phone. Megan also paused, looking at her boss and listening to his side of the conversation. Charlie watched, without making a sound or any movement at all, as a dark look passed over his brother's face and with a few words had Megan disappearing behind the SUV and opening the boot. Don continued to talk into the cell-phone, asking questions and receiving answers in reply. Megan returned to the front of the car with an unfastened Kevlar vest on her and one in her hands and manoeuvred it over Don and fastened the straps, with Don then doing the same for his co-worker. Megan and Don both turned and went to their respective car doors but before Don got in, he caught sight of Charlie at the window, and with one hand still holding the cell-phone to his ear he raised the other in a quick wave, a farewell, and shrugged with one shoulder, an apology. Charlie raised his own hand in reply and stood silently as his brother reversed out of the driveway and departed.
Not moving from his position of being inside, looking out to the last place he had seen his brother, he called out, "Guys, Don and Megan won't be joining us for dinner."
Seven hours later, Charlie was again standing at a window but with some differences. He was on the outside; looking in through the window of the ICU cubicle, as a machine breathed life into his brother's too still form.
Khatum (The End)
Well, even if I don't get a definitve result from this little experiment, I now know I need to work on my narration skills. I'm not very good at describing stuff as it happens: "Did this and then that while she went there and did that etc etc etc". It's horrible.
So, did the last line have an impact? Had I written more (or differently) would it have mattered? Let me know, I'm on an experimental swing. Be gentle though ;)
Next one should be an S. Expect either snow or snores or both.