The Perry files
by Mihane100
I am a mammal of mystery. I go by many names, Perry, Agent P, 'that beaver duck', Perry the platypus... okay, I mostly go by Perry.
But despite my normal name, and the fact that I'm a platypus, I am not as normal as I seem. I am a secret agent, living life as a domestic run-of the mill 'dumb' animal until I am called into duty. That's when evil better watch out. My nemesis once described me as a ''suave, semi-aquatic personification of unstoppable dynamic fury''. Yeah, he likes to exaggerate...
Where as, if you were to ask my owners, Phineas and Ferb, about me, they would just reply with the usual: ''He's a platypus, they don't do much.''
As you can probably tell, I am very good at hiding my identity and my owners have been unaware of my real job for 3 years now. There was a time when they did find out about my real job, but that's another story.
Unfortunately, something happened lately that was worse than anything I had ever encountered. I thought I was prepared... but nothing could ever prepare me for what had happened that dreadful week.
''But Mom! You've gotta believe me! It was RIGHT there!''
After a battle with my nemesis, I had sat under the tree in the garden for a nap, to hear my owners' sister, Candace, screaming at the top of her lungs about another of Phineas and Ferb's inventions dissapearing without explanation. I feel kind of sorry for her, this happens a LOT. Her parents think that she's crazy and no matter how hard she tries, she can never get the boys' in trouble. I don't know how she can stand it everyday. With that determination, she would make a good agent, if she was an animal that is. The agency has a strict rule that all agents must be animals. I never found out why though. My guess is that it's because no-one would suspect a pet of working for the government.
''Of course I believe you, honey. It's not like this happens everyday or anything.'' remarked her mother with obvious sarcasm. ''Now, who wants pie?''
The boys nodded and happily walked inside, but their sister growled and gave them a hard look, as if to say ''You'll be busted tomorrow! Watch out!''
The next day, I was called into work earlier than usual, much to my dissapointment. Sometimes I think that my boss, Major Monogram, doesn't realize that I'd rather be napping in Ferb's bed than thwarting the pathetic schemes of my nemesis. You see, my nemesis, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz is great at building huge machines, but he doesn't seem to have an awful lot of common sense. Most of his schemes would fail without my help anyway, or would revolve around a petty grudge that he has against something or another, or his jealousy towards his successful brother, Roger. In fact, he's not even a Doctor. He bought his doctrate for 15 bucks on the internet, for goodness sake!
But, it's my job, and it has to be done. I quietly sneaked out of my headquarters, and climbed into my hoverjet. That's right- I have a hoverjet. How cool am I? Not a lot of platypi can say that they own a hoverjet. My job does have some perks. As I neared my nemesis' tall purple building, I hear the familiar ''Doofenshmirtz evil incorporated!'' jingle and neatly landed onto the balcony with my parachute, only to be trapped in a platypus-sized rubber ball.
''Ah, Perry the platypus! Nice of you to BOUNCE in!'' Doof cackled. I rolled my eyes and groaned. His puns never get any better.
''You see when I was a young boy, back in Gimmelstump...'' he started.
I yawned a waited patiently for him to finish another one of his tragic backstories. He does this a lot, it's sort of a routine. I wasn't even listening to be honest.
''-like your little trap? My daughter, Vannessa helped me build it.''
That I DID listen to. Vanessa? Why would she do that?
As if he could read my mind, the 'Doctor' continued.
''You see, Vannessa has decided to join in with the family buisness! Isn't that great?''
Suddenly, a figure in a white labcoat stepped out of the shadows.
''Hey Perry. Enjoying your little trap?'' she cackled evilly.
Oh my gosh. This was bad. VERY bad!