Uinzu
Characters:
Diary "Hiro"- He is a 17-year-old Black haired, Brown-eyed boy. He is straightforward and always to the point. Occasionally he cracks jokes, usually of the sexual nature. He has many complications in his life.
Mahiro- He is a 17-year-old Brown haired, Gray-eyed boy. He is Hiro's Best friend and the Sidekick of the Play. He always has interesting subjects to talk about.
Fleur Blanc "Diamond"- She is a 17-year-old Blonde haired, Blue-eyed girl. She is prideful and headstrong. This leads to her getting into arguments with people a lot. She is easily embarrassed. She also has complications in her life.
Elena- She is a 17-year-old Pink haired, Blue-eyed girl. She is a reserved girl who is hard to read. She believes she is Mahiro's girlfriend. She is Diamond's Best friend.
Teacher- The homeroom English teacher.
Author- The author of this play.
Best friend- it is a given.
Setting- Hiro and Mahiro are in their homeroom Class after school.
Scene I
Mahiro:
Yesterday, after classes. A first-year girl went to the fourth floor of the auxiliary building. The Moonlight Sonata's delicate beauty reached her ears from the music room. The setting sun bathed her in red light. It is beautiful tone-
Hiro:
I object. Yesterday it rained, so the sun set behind the clouds.
Mahiro:
Very much so. The rain was drumming gracefully. The darkness of dusk was closing in. Oh, the impression that then clung onto her! Oh, the delicate noise of the rain!
Hiro:
You're overdoing it.
Mahiro:
As she entered the music room, the melody she had followed died abruptly. The lid of the piano was open, but no pianist was to be seen. The curtains were closed, and the room was dark. Then she saw her. Her disheveled hair hung over her face. Her body looked limp and powerless. The girl's blazing eyes stared at her across the room from under half-closed eyelids. Indeed, in this very God high, there was once a pianist, who on the eve of the national competition-
Hiro:
Was there now?
Mahiro:
Dunno. There could have well been, but I don't know anything about it.
Hiro:
I thought so.
Mahiro:
However, I don't often see you staying so late after school. Usually, you remember to do your homework.
Hiro:
I did do it! I just forgot to bring it with me. Again while listening to you blabber on about nothing.
Mahiro:
I see. By the way, they say there really is a ghost with disheveled hair somewhere in the school. I heard Class A talking about it during lunch break. Now all that matters is how the rumor will spread. "The second of God high's seven wonders!" Or something like that. I'm also interested to see how long it'll take for it to reach me in class D.
Hiro:
Just a minute. Who did you hear that from? And where?
Mahiro:
Diamond told me a little while ago, in the clubroom.
Hiro:
You said it could be the second wonder. So there's already a first? What is it? Can you tell me?
Mahiro:
Sure. However, may I ask why are we talking about this? I mean isn't this supposed to be a play not a conversation that people read for the fun of it?
Hiro:
I see took you long enough to figure out we're nothing but characters in a Play right? Tell me which one of us represents the playwright's thoughts?
Mahiro:
Me of course because-
Hiro:
Wrong. I'm the one who represents him.
Mahiro:
Wait if you represent him. Who do I represent?
Hiro:
His best friend I mean I think he named you after his best friend. Didn't he?
Mahiro:
Of course the heck not! My mom gave me this name.
Hiro:
And he gave your parents the names of his best friend's parents just as how they gave you your name. Which really since he is your parents creator he gave me your name.
Mahiro:
Wait but you are him right?
Hiro:
That's right I named you didn't I?
Mahiro:
But if he is you and you are him, but he made my parents….then is he….is he god?
Hiro:
No….
Mahiro:
Then wait your god?
Elena:
(Enters from the back of the classroom. Slowly walks up to Hiro and Mahiro.)
Hiro:
(Notices Elena) Sure let's say I'm god. That would mean I created everyone in the world and then….I was bored decided to come down to earth, screw your mom, have you. Then create your dad to replace me, and come through my mother as "another" baby Jesus, only to be named Diary. And then be adopted by a woman who I will most likely screw by the end of this series. Just like how I want to screw my nine sisters. Yes I know I'm a sick Goth-loving bastard, with a sister complexion. With a smile that makes the middle school fan girls scream. But yes, I'm god. Do you know what that makes you?
Mahiro:
…that would make me Robin? Wait you screwed my mother?
Hiro:
Yes that would make you Robin from "How I met your mother?"
Mahiro:
Wait why do I have to be the girl? I mean come-
Elena:
(Pulls out a baseball bat, and knocks Mahiro out.)
Mahiro:
(Head slams on his desk)
Scene II
Hiro:
Well that was interesting just when I'm about to finish my rant, you have to come in and knock out Mahiro. Elena you suck.
Diamond:
(Enters from the front of the classroom. Slowly walks up behind Hiro.)
Elena:
Yes, I know I suck. And I can knock him out because he's my boyfriend.
Hiro:
Says you… Anyways I think that it would be better if-
Diamond:
(Taps Hiro on the shoulder.)
Hiro:
(Passes out, head slams onto Desk.)
Elena:
That was fun wasn't it?
Diamond:
Yeah it felt pretty good to knock him out with a pressure point. But Elena did you really have to knock Mahiro out with a Metal Baseball bat?
Elena:
Yes. He wouldn't have submitted to me otherwise.
Diamond:
Why did you say submit? I mean you two aren't even like that are you?
Elena:
Not really, but you know I have problems.
Diamond:
Yeah….why is it that Hiro and you are creepy, Perverted, Crazy, and you know what I'm just going to circle D. all of the answers that make sense.
Elena:
I love you too.
Diamond:
I know you do… You Obsessive perverted stalking, Bisexual Masochist.
Elena:
Now that you mention it, why are we talking about fetishes and sexual problems?
Diamond:
I'm a Goddess that's why.
Elena:
Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, you are telling lies we are talking about this because this is the same exact conversation that the authors friends had right?
Diamond:
Only an Obsessed masochist like you would know.
Elena:
Hey, I got a question who do you think wears the pants in our relationship?
Diamond:
I'd say you, mainly because he's a yeah… I hope you didn't put him in a coma.
Elena:
If he was in a coma I could watch over him everyday and we would be together forever.
Diamond:
Why am I even your friend?
Elena:
I'm awesome.
Diamond:
Right, sure whatever makes you happy?
Elena:
We got three pages left shouldn't we end this soon?
Diamond:
Just shut up.
Elena:
OK!
(Mahiro and Hiro sit up rubbing their heads and speak overlapping)
Oww my head….
(Elena and Diamond run out of the room)
Scene III
Hiro:
Dude how much time do we have left?
Mahiro:
Two and a fourth pages?
Hiro:
Ok, then let's pass some time.
(30 minutes later)
Mahiro:
Let's play a Tamers match real quick.
Hiro:
Impossible we only have two pages left.
( , enters the room)
Teacher:
You boys need to get your grades up otherwise you will fail.
Hiro:
Wait, wait, wait, you mother fucker. We challenge you to a rock off! Give us one chance to knock your socks off.
Mahiro:
Yeah….Wait we do?
Hiro:
Yeah.
Mahiro:
Why?
Teacher:
He's got a point I really don't want to do a Tenacious D reference.
Hiro:
Fine, then we won't do it.
Teacher:
Just get your grades up. (Exits the room)
Hiro:
Man I just wanted to have a fun song before the play's over?
Mahiro:
I actually forgot this was a play.
Hiro:
See I knew you were stupid.
Mahiro:
Hey! At least I'm not the one who has sick obsessions with your cards.
Hiro:
Hey at least I respect the fairy race unlike you, even though most of them are female.
Mahiro:
Gay pervert.
Hiro:
Yes, I know I'm happy. And you are the fag.
Mahiro:
The readers have no idea what we're talking about do they?
Hiro:
Nope.
Mahiro:
Then why did the author make this?
Hiro:
Because he felt like it, and it was based off a conversation he had with his best friend a few days ago.
Mahiro:
That's me right?
Hiro:
I think so. Hey look out the window do you see that Nuke.
Mahiro:
Yeah, I see the nuke….Wait a Nuke!
(Lights out)
Scene IV
Author:
Ugh…. (Raising his head off desk) My head hurts so much.
Best friend:
You have a good nap? It's your turn by the way.
Author:
Right…..hey I had this strange dream. That…
Best friend:
I know. Dude I know I read the play?
Author:
What play?
Best friend:
This play. (Holds up a play titled Uinzu)
(Lights out)
The end.