Ever since Groot had become a baby again, he'd become a nuisance.
He'd watch Blargey's World, a show for babies, and start singing the theme song (well, it would come out as "I am Groot" to the tune of the theme song) really, really loudly, to the annoyance of everyone.
He kept trying to play with everyone's weapons and everyone had to be on their toes to make sure he didn't get a knife or a gun and accidentally stab or shoot himself.
He kept trying to hang out with everyone when they wanted their privacy and, when they tried to explain why they wanted to be alone, he kept asking "Why?" over and over again (again, obviously sounding like "I am Groot" to everyone besides Rocket and Peter).
The rest of The Guardians had finally had enough and decided to talk to Rocket about it, seeing as he was the closest thing Groot had to a father figure.
One morning, Rocket and Baby Groot walked into the living room only to find The Guardians glaring angrily at them.
Rocket just scoffed.
"What?", he asked.
"Rocket, we need to talk about Groot", Peter said.
This surprised Rocket. Usually he's the one that drew ire from everyone.
"What about him?", Rocket asked.
"He's too loud and annoying", Gamora said.
"He's very obnoxious", Drax pointed out, "and it's very disruptive".
"Well he's a kid", Rocket said, defending Groot, "their usually loud and obnoxious. You of all people should know that".
Drax groaned, as he felt like Rocket was insulting his daughter. He started to lunge at him but Gamora quickly stopped and glared at him.
"Anyway, so what? What do ya expect me ta do about it?", Rocket asked.
"Drax, maybe you could tell him how to deal with a 2-year old", Gamora said.
Drax sighed.
"Rocket, when my daughter was...alive, I always let her hang out with other children her age", Drax said, "I think Groot needs to hang out with other children as well"
"Only one problem, genius. No one but me can understand what the flark Groot is saying", Rocket said, sarcastically.
"If you go to any intergalactic playground, I'm sure there'll be many kids from different planets that speak their own language", Peter pointed out. "Plus, most kids, at least young kids, don't care if you can't speak their language, as long as you play with them. When I was 4, I played with a kid named Pablo who only spoke Spanish. I didn't understand a fucking word he was saying but I was too busy playing tag with him to care!"
"Yeah, well Groot don't need his own Pablo", Rocket said defensively, "He don't need no kids, he's got me!"
"Well, keep a tighter leash on him, okay?", Gamora asked.
"Fine, if it'll stop ya bitching", Rocket said.
"Thank you", Gamora said, defeated.
Groot had finished early and went back to Rocket's room, while Rocket was still eating breakfast. After eating breakfast, The Guardians all went back to their rooms. When Rocket went in there, however, he found that his room had become a whole mess. There were guns lying on the ground everywhere and things toppled all over each other.
This made Rocket angry. Really, really angry. It made him boiling red.
"GROOT!", Rocket shouted.
Groot walked out from behind his bed. He had a hole in the middle of his stomach. Suddenly, the other Guardians ran in.
"What's going on?!", Peter asked, worried.
"This!", Rocket pointed out to the mess Groot made.
"Well, what did you expect?", Peter asked him, "He's a baby, of course he was going to make a mess if he was left all by himself! See, this is what we were talking about! This is the reason Groot should be going to playgrounds and daycares and playing with kids his age! So he doesn't bother us so he can have a "playmate" or find something to play THAT ISN'T SAFE!", Peter ranted.
Rocket sighed.
"You're right", Rocket said, defeated, "Okay, I'll go take him to a playground tomorrow. In the mean time, can you please help me clean up this mess?"
The next day, Rocket and Groot went to a playground. Rocket didn't really like being around annoying, noisy children, but if it made Groot happy, he was going to try to tolerate it. Groot ran in and started playing in the sandbox with a small, green alien.
The mother of the alien was about to sit on the bench when she saw Rocket sitting there. Suddenly, she shrieked.
"Eek, a raccoon!", she hollered.
This got Rocket really angry.
"Hey lady, I'm not a raccoon", Rocket shouted at the top of his lungs.
"Yes you are. And stay away from me! I don't want to get rabies!", The lady said, scared.
"Lady, I'm not going ta give ya rabies! I'm just bringing my kid ta the playground!", Rocket said.
Suddenly, the lady went from scared to confused. She looked around and didn't see any raccoon children on the playground. Then she looked back at him, annoyed.
"Okay, Vermin, if you're just here to "watch your kid", where is he?", the lady asked, inquisitively.
Rocket groaned. He pointed to Baby Groot, who was on the swings with the lady's son.
"There", Rocket pointed out.
This just confused the lady even more.
"You're son is the tree? How is that possible?", The lady asked.
Rocket sighed.
"It's a long story", Rocket said.
"Well I'm sorry about that", the lady said.
"Whatever Lady, just leave me alone", Rocket said.
Suddenly Groot and his newfound friend walked to Rocket and the lady.
"I am Groot! I am Groot" (Hey Rocket, meet my new friend, Glerb), Rocket said.
"Hey kid, what's up?", Rocket said, uninterested.
"Mommy, can Groot come to my birthday party?", Glerb asked.
Both Rocket and Glerb's Mother were a little grossed out by this, as neither of them wanted to be around each other again.
"Glerb, I don't know if I really want you seeing this kid again", his mother said.
"But why?!", Glerb asked, not wanting to lose his new friend.
"Because the lady is a stuck up bitch, that's why!", Rocket butted in.
Glerb's Mother just glared at him.
"Because I don't know if I want you to mix with...those people", Glerb's mother said.
Glerb just got nervous and started moaning.
"C'mon, Mom, Groot's really cool! Can't he PLEASE come?!", Glerb whined.
Rocket and Glerb's Mother looked at each other. They knew they wouldn't get along but, if their kids wanted to be friends, they decided to at least try to tolerate each other's presence.
At the birthday party, there were annoying children everywhere, all different types of alien races, screaming, running around, and playing tag. Rocket walked in holding a present with Groot. Groot joined the other kids while Rocket joined the other adults.
"Hey look, someone sent the pet to chaperone", one of the parents said, mockingly.
Rocket was about to lunge at him when Glerb's Mom gave him the stink eye. He stopped himself and decided to TRY to behave himself.
But Rocket felt awkward around them. He had no social skills so he didn't know what to do. He just decided to stand there and listen to the other parents.
"So how are things at the office?", a Xandarian parent asked.
"Not too bad. Judy from PR had to leave on maternity leave and-", a bilantane parent said.
Oh my god this was so boring for Rocket. It was just talking about boring, domestic stuff like office work, taking care of children, raising families, bla bla bla. Nothing exciting like what his life was like, either as a bounty hunter or a guardian.
"So, what do you do for a living, Mr. Rocket?", Glerb's Mother asked.
"I'm a bounty hunter and I'm one of the Guardians of the Galaxy. Y'know, the team who saved everyone from Ronan", Rocket said, proudly.
Another parent scoffed.
"You? A Guardian of the Galaxy? What are you, their mascot?", he mocked.
Rocket started fuming.
"No!", Rocket said.
"Then what could you possibly be? Aren't you a little short to be a Guardian of the Galaxy?", the parent egged on.
Rocket really felt like attacking him. Glerb's Mom sensed this and decided to distract them.
"Hey, who wants cake?", Glerb's Mom quickly said.
The kids and adults all started to sit down. When Rocket sat down he was just slightly under the table. So, he had to get...one of the booster seats that were ordered for the children. This embarrassed him but he went over to where the booster seats were. To make matters worse for him, he was about the size of some of the kids. In fact, some of them were even BIGGER than him, if only by a couple inches.
He got the booster seat and put it on his chair. He then sat down. The parent who made fun of him looked at him mockingly.
"Like I said, aren't you a little SHORT to be a Guardian of the Galaxy?", The Parent mocked.
"Yeah, maybe he should be sitting with the kids", the parent next to him said, "after all, he's around their height!"
The two parents laughed.
This was the last straw. Rocket got angry.
"That's it!", Rocket shouted.
All The Parents and Kids looked at him. Rocket looked at Groot.
"Groot, were going!", Rocket demanded.
"I am Groot" (But I don't wanna go), Groot said.
Glerb's Mother glared at him.
"Don't...make...a...scene", Glerb's Mom threatened.
Rocket just looked at her.
"Too late!", Rocket said. He got down and took Groot with him. Then they left.
Rocket and Groot were arguing all the way back to the milano about what happened at the party. Suddenly, The Guardians joined them.
"What's going on?", Peter asked.
"I am Groot" (Rocket embarassed me), Groot said.
Peter sighed.
"What did he do?", Peter wearily said.
"I am Groot" (He got in a fight with one of the parents and forced me to leave), Groot said.
Peter looked at Rocket, angry.
"Well, they started it. Especially that one asshole who made fun of me!", Rocket said.
Peter sighed.
"What did they do now?", Peter groaned.
"I told the parents about my job as a bounty hunter and a Guardian of the Galaxy and they were like "what are you the mascot?! Because you can't be a Guardian of the Galaxy! You're too short!" and they made fun of me in other ways. They were like "oh, did they send the pet in to chaperone?", Rocket said, angrily.
Peter couldn't believe what he was hearing. He knew some people had made fun of Rocket but he didn't expect, or at least he hoped, that it wouldn't happen here.
He sighed.
"Listen, I'm sorry those parents made fun of you", Peter said.
"Well, thank you", Rocket said.
"Next time, I'll just take Groot to the playground. Is that okay?", Peter asked.
"Sure", Rocket said.
"Though next time maybe you should come there just to apologize to Groot's friend. I know the parents were a-holes but is that really a reason to ruin the kid's birthday party?", Peter asked.
Rocket groaned.
"Do I have to?", Rocket asked.
"Please? For Groot's sake?", Peter pleaded.
Rocket sighed.
"Fine. If it makes Groot happy", Rocket said.
The next day, Rocket, Peter, and Groot were at the playground. They saw Glerb and his mother going to the playground.
"Do I have to do this?", Rocket asked.
"Do it for Groot", Peter said.
Glerb and His Mother walked up to the three. She sighed.
"What are you doing here?", Glerb's Mom questioned.
Rocket didn't walk so Peter nudged him. Rocket sighed.
"I'm sorry for ruining your birthday party, Glerb", Rocket said.
"That's okay, Mister", Glerb said.
That surprised Rocket.
"Umm...okay", Rocket said.
"Well, if Glerb is going to forgive you, I guess I'll forgive you too. I'll admit it was a little messed up for them to make fun of you like that", Glerb's Mom said.
"It really was", Rocket said, annoyed, "Also, no offense, but this isn't really my scene so I'm just going to let my teammate Quill here take him to playgrounds and stupid stuff like birthday parties from now on"
Peter shook Glerb's Mother's hand.
"Hi, my name's Peter Quill, nice to meet you"
"Nice to meet you too", Glerb's Mom said.
"Now if you don't mind me, I'm going to go back to The Milano and work on some new bombs", Rocket said.
As Rocket left, Peter just looked at Glerb's Mom.
"Welp, I'm going to need a new ship", Peter said.
Peter and Glerb's Mom watched as Groot and Glerb played. A few days later, Peter took Groot to Chuckle Charlie's, a restaurant that was kind of a space version of Chuck E. Cheese, that Glerb and his friends were going to. He joined the other adults as they were talking.
"So My Boss told me to get in the documents by Monday-", The Xandarian Parent said.
"Oh god", Peter thought, "why didn't Rocket warn me these people were so boring?"
THE END