The Day Prowl found ruby lipstick
A/N
I haven't posted anything in what feels like decades, and I'm so sorry for letting my non existent fans wait. Any ways, if there is indeed someone out there reading this… Enjoy!
A normal morning in the Ark usually consisted of Jazz running down the corridors with a transformed Blaster, blaring whatever music they could think of at unfathomable decibels.
Today was not a normal day.
Jazz wasn't known for having tenor vocals, but his shriek could've put Starscream to shame.
"Oh dear Primus, what the pit is on yer faceplates!"
Prowl flinched at his friend's sharp cry.
"Keep your vocals down, mecha are trying to sleep!" he hissed. As his processor worked over the words his friend had spoken his expression changed, looking about as confused as a lizard in a pool of margarine. "What do you mean? I haven't had any energon yet…" he said, bringing a hesitant servo to his face, only to pull back one smeared with a thick oily crimson substance.
Prowl yelped and stumbled backwards trying to wipe the oily stuff off his servo, but instead smearing it all over himself.
"Wha- ughh, it won't get off. Jazz, why won't it come off!" Prowl, a reserved mech, was now shaking his servo furiously, staring at the saboteur with optics twice their usual size.
Jazz fought valiantly to stifle a laugh, for Prowl's sake. Hiding a snicker behind a chough, he smiled.
"The twins have some paint solvent, let's go see if they'll lend us some".
Prowl yelped again, staring incredulously at the Porsche.
"But they're the ones who did this! I can't just give them the satisfaction of seeing me like this! I have a reputation!"
"Fine, how 'bout Tracks?"
"Any other way?" Prowl was just about pleading, his optics were still wide, the red stuff smeared across his lips and onto his nose and chin plates. More red was on his chassis and servos.
Jazz thought the red really complimented the Second in Command's optics. Maybe a softer shade though, like dusty rose? Yeah, that'd knock 'em dead.
"J-jazz?"
The mech in question merely sighed, grabbing the Datsun's red servo and smeared the red substance onto his own chassis.
"I'll be right back, meet ya in yer quarters?"
Prowl, to embarrassed to reply, nodded vigorously; he then darted back into the sanctuary of his room.
-000-
"Hey Sunflower, I could use yer help" Jazz crooned from outside the door, taping it obnoxiously.
The door was flung open to reveal a ticked looking Sunflower.
"Never call me that again. …Oh Primus your chassis! Sideswipe, my detailing kit! Now!" With that the golden yellow mech hauled Jazz into the room and dropped him on a berth.
Sideswipe sauntered in with a briefcase in his servo and a confused look in his optics, well, confused until they landed on the red smeared mech.
"Woah, what happened to you?"
Jazz looked startled.
"Ya didn't do this?"
"No, pit no. I have limits, lipstick being one of them"
All optics turned to the red front-liner.
"Lipstick?" Sunny and Jazz said incredulously.
"Yeah, the stuff Carly uses. It's fragging awful to get off, like glue paint and mud combined".
Jazz sighed, shifting on the berth as Sunstreaker went through a mental breakdown trying to get the stuff off.
"ohh it's everywhere! Anytime I try to wipe it off, it just smears more! Fragging shop rags!"
"Thanks' fer tryin' to help; but I think I'll just take some solvent and clean it myself" Jazz sighed, hopping off the berth.
Sunstreaker shuffled through his belongings with a surprising amount of care, coming up with a bottle of clear liquid and a light blue cloth.
"This should do the trick. That stuff is the creation of Unicron"
Jazz took the supplies with a grin and thanked the two mechs for their help, then bolted down the corridor for Prowl's quarters.
-000-
Prowl was sitting on his berth, a very brooding-like expression on his faceplates. He was staring death at his chassis and servos, his doorwing flared dangerously.
"Hey Prowler, I got some stuff for ya" Jazz called from outside the door.
Prowl didn't bother to open the door, Jazz knew the code.
"Ya know, I don't think the twins were behind this" Jazz said as he waltzed into Prowl's fortress of solitude.
Prowl turned to glower at his friend, wings flicking. He sighed as he was handed the bottle.
"Well who do you think it was?"
Jazz didn't answer, he simply watched as Prowl nearly poured the whole bottle of solvent on himself.
"I don't know, the 'Cons, the humans… your guess is as good as mine"
Prowl growled as he scrubbed the substance off himself.
"Well, whoever it was is gonna get an acid-pellet up the tailpipe and a four-week vacation in the brig"
Jazz smiled, using whatever was left to clean himself off.
In Prowls haste to clean himself, his processor was to muddled to go over the clues of this case. Only two mechs on Earth knew Prowl's quarter's override code; Optimus Prime, and himself. Optimus was too innocuous to pull a prank, and while the twins were resourceful, it'd be near impossible to pull this one off. However, these were all details to address at a later time; a much later time.
"Think about it, now you have the perfect weapon for interrogations!"
The monochromatic door-winger froze, turning to look at Jazz very slowly. As his battle computer worked the sentence over, a devilish smile crawled onto his red-smeared derma.
A/N 2.0
Any ideas for an unsuspecting prisoner?