"So...you're propositioning me for...what exactly?"

"Sex practice."

Okita snorted his orange soda out of his nose. Kagura wiped traces of it off her face, as the couple started at them from the next booth. Kagura and Okita acted like it was nothing unusual, and they were actually not far off in that regard. Their relationship was so dysfunctional it would scare the most jaded psychiatrist into retirement. That, and they weren't even dating. Not even close. They were a step away from moral enemies. On a good day.

"Why me... of all the people on Earth?" Okita asked between coughs.

"Well, I tried to get just someone off the street..."

"...and they ran away screaming..." Okita thought, sizing up the girl sitting across from him.

"...but for some reason that didn't work out so I thought of maybe one of Otae's coworkers..."

"...bet that didn't go over well..." Okita thought again.

"...they said they wouldn't because I'm already corrupted enough, whatever that means..."

"I can guess, living with Danna..." Okita thought a third time, letting Kagura ramble on a bit more. "Why doesn't she just use the porn I know he has?"

Kagura shifted, uneasy in her seat. Okita realized she was waiting for some remark from him. He racked his brain, but came up empty.

"Why don't you just use Danna's porn?" He decided to just go with his last thought. To hell with it. The conversation was already beyond weird.

"I would, but he's hidden it really well since Shinpachi found it and fainted. We couldn't get him to wake up for a full ten minutes and when he did all he could mumble was 'boobs' for the next two days."

"There's nothing I can say to that," Okita thought, trying not to smirk, his sadistic side doubled up in laughter.

"I would just hire someone to practice with..." Okita's eyes widened a bit in surprise. What did this girl have for brains? That nasty green stuff she was always chewing?

"...but I already had to con money from Gin-chan for Sadaharu...and...well...I don't want Gin-chan to know about this."

Okita said nothing, so Kagura had no choice but to continue.

"I know guys pay for it all the time. Gin-chan goes to Otae's club a lot after all. Even that guy you're always with has gone…"

"Does she mean Hijikata?" Okita thought. "Good god I hope not."

"He's never gone there just for fun…" Okita said, wondering if it would get through to her.

"So I thought you wouldn't mind getting some of it for free. You're a guy after all."

Nothing he said was making it through to this alien girl. Okita decided this might be interesting, if only for blackmail material for later. There was no way she wouldn't get angry and storm off after what he was going to do.

"I'll say yes, if you can answer my questions."

"O-Ok."

"Why can't your precious Gin-chan know about this sudden burst of puberty?"

Kagura glared at him. This could make plants wither and babies cry, but Okita was one of the rare few who didn't respond in any way to it. That annoyed Kagura to no end, and she nearly decided to storm off when she thought of the trouble it took to sneak out of the Yorozuya, go to the Shinsengumi Headquarters, and threaten Yamazaki with disembowelment with her umbrella to give Okita a message to meet her here. She didn't even expect him to show up when she scrawled "Information on Joui. Meet me at Saizeria now" on a piece of paper Yamazaki warily took from her. Then there were the nervous minutes while she waited for him, and endured the stares of the waiter and that annoying couple in the next booth. She had no choice.

"I'm...going to use it on him..." Kagura mumbled, nearly incoherent.

If Okita was drinking, which he had wisely stopped doing, more would have come rushing out of his nose. As it was, he somehow managed to keep a straight face. There was also another feeling building underneath his incredulous facade which he didn't want to analyze in any way, shape, or form. He shoved it down and tried to strangle it. That was what it deserved.

"Any other questions?" Kagura growled after a few seconds passed.

"Nope." That one question and answer had sent any others out of his mind.

It was now Kagura's turn to stare. The silence stretched out between them. Kagura lowered her eyes first, poking at a small pool of orange nose rain on the table.

Okita abruptly stood up and moved toward the door. He called back to her in his trademark deadpan voice, eyes dancing in a way that disturbed Kagura,

"Let's go have some fun, China."