A/N:
This was written because I was feeling moody and sad. This is a one-shot! Read on and enjoy and review...
And On That Day…
By Carla P.
Hermione's POV
"Holy cricket!" Hermione was rather cross as the tendril of hair beside her ear just refused to stay put. She had tried, without success, to tuck it safely along with the other wisps behind her ear but it was so stubborn that she was sorely tempted to help it out with some magic.
With a last, almost futile, attempt she tucked it behind her ear and was severely happy that it stayed where it was. She heaved a sigh. But it was not just a sigh of relief but also of another emotion that could be likened to sadness or even disappointment.
She looked at herself in the mirror for a slight moment and saw a bright-looking, made-up woman with haunted, forlorn eyes that belied the happiness of the occasion she was about to attend. She tugged at the pearl studs at her ears noting how brilliantly white they were, so much like the teeth she showed when she smiled. The matching pearl necklace about her neck was also magnificent and seemed to add to the gorgeous glow of her satin-like skin.
She turned to look at herself from the side and inspected her hair. Its normal bush-like state was no more as it had been twisted stunningly into a complicated bun that had several pearls around it, which also matched her jewelry.
She reached up to touch her face. It was a face that had once seemed plain, but had now grown pretty attractive in maturity. It wasn't such a startling change, she figured that the only reason she seemed so good-looking was because she had finally been able to think of herself worthy of such terms. Not to mention fixing herself up was a lot of help too.
The silky gloves on her hands were soft and felt good against her skin. She fixed her gown and sincerely hoped that she was ready for the irrevocable step she was about to take.
She heaved a determined sigh, took one last look at herself and proceeded to the door. She grasped the doorknob, nervous and frightened that that day had finally come.
Ron's POV
"Ouch!" Ron was rather surprised at the slap he had given his cheek; he hadn't really expected such strong and hard impact. He hadn't anticipated that he would feel what he felt for he was certain that today was just a dream.
Actually, everything was surreal. First, he was wearing brand new dress robes that his brothers, Fred and George had given him. He was really pale and nervous but despite all this, he was happy for he was going out there to be wedded to the girl—woman, he had loved all these years.
He remembered how he had held those beloved hands; taken them between his and asked her, with all the love he never knew he was capable of possessing, to marry him. And the sweetest moment of his life was when he saw how he had rendered her speechless and how, with a slow nod of the head coupled with the most beautiful and brightest smile, she had agreed and had made him a most fortunate man.
Everything else that had followed was a fantasy, all leading to the moment when the woman he valued more than his life was to legally carry his name, live at his house and be his in the eyes of the world.
He remembered how they had argued on whether it would be Muggle or a Wizarding wedding and had conceded to meet halfway. That explained why he was garbed in elegant robes and she was, he guessed, in a most wondrous white gown.
He glanced at the clock on the wall and noted that it was almost time for him to step into that church and speak his vows. He looked at himself in the mirror and saw a big smile on his face, one that made him look particularly giddy with joy. He reached up to pat his red hair and noticed how much his hands shook. Lastly, he saw how bright his eyes were shining and how, it made him look like a young boy on Christmas morn looking inside the stocking and seeing that Santa had given him exactly what he had hoped for.
Suddenly, a knock sounded outside his door and he vaguely felt himself say, "Come in." That was when his best friend and best man, Harry, poked his head in. Raising his eyebrows, Harry said, "Are you ready or not? The wedding can't start without its groom, you know." Harry then stepped into the room, wearing dress robes just like Ron was.
Snapping out of his reverie, Ron smiled at the man who was there to support him when he needed it and answered, "I know."
"Well, what are you waiting for then?" Harry asked, barely holding a laugh as he valiantly struggled to maintain a reprimanding face.
"Nothing," said Ron, also about to laugh. "I'm coming, I'm coming."
Harry nodded. "Good," he said in an overbearing, unusual-for-him way.
That was when they both burst into laughter, which lasted for a good minute or so until it subsided. Grasping their hurting stomachs, they looked at each other and Ron queried, "What were we laughing about anyway?"
Harry quieted down and became serious once more. He just shrugged and pointed to the clock.
Ron followed Harry's finger yet he said, "Well, whatever that laugh was about, I sure needed it because now I'm ready."
Seeing that his answer didn't make Harry happy, Ron amended and said, "Let's go. You lead the way."
Harry nodded in satisfaction and rushed out of the room, with Ron at his heels. As Ron closed the knob, he heaved a huge sigh and mumbled, "This is it."
Harry's POV
"Ehem," said Harry as he cleared his throat and pulled at the uncomfortable collar of his robes. He pasted a smile on his face as he led his best friend, Ron over to the church entrance, down the aisle and to his place beside the altar near the priest to await his bride.
He glanced back at Ron, who gave him a nervous smile, which he returned with, what he hoped was, a reassuring one. He slowed down and waited till he and Ron were side by side. He put his arm around Ron's shoulders to keep him from falling.
"Don't worry, mate. It's going to be fine, trust me," Harry said assuredly. Ron nodded meekly and gulped.
'Don't know what you're so worried about. You're going up there to marry the girl of our dreams. You're the one who's going to spend the rest of your life with her. If I were you, I'd be running to that altar, excited that this day had finally come,' Harry thought in comment to Ron's actions.
He wasn't exactly jealous. He had, after all, told himself that all he wanted was for Hermione to be happy and seeing that she had accepted Ron's proposal then maybe that was what she wanted. He wasn't about to hold that against her. If he had to be the loving, supporting best friend, so be it. If he had to be best man in their wedding, so be it. If he had to be the godfather of their children, so be it. Anything for the sake of Hermione, he'd be willing to give.
After all, it was better to be a part of Hermione's life though he wasn't going to be fully in it. Because life without Hermione was not life, it was just existence, after all… Beggars can't be choosers and he took everything he was offered.
He had spent so long trying to convince himself that he didn't love Hermione but he was a fool for thinking that he can control the emotions in his heart.
When they reached the altar, Harry carefully guided his best friend to stand beside the priest and he took his position beside Ron.
He waited in dreadful anticipation for what Hermione would look like. Because he knew she would be as beautiful as always, if not more, and he was liable to break his heart all the more. And Harry wasn't sure is his heart could handle being broken any more.
He sighed, hoping to get it over with and go home, wallow in his grief over the loss of his only love, his impossible, improbable, illogical love— Hermione.
Hermione's POV
She tried to tell herself that it was just nerves for after all, it wasn't everyday that she would get married. But she was merely trying to fool herself.
What she wanted was to cry. Cry for the situation she had allowed herself to be in. What she wanted was to curse. Curse for the unfair predicament that she found herself in. What she wanted was to scream. Scream to let all the sad, bitter emotions out once and for all. What she wanted was to destroy. Destroy everything around her and release all her pent-up anger. What she wanted was to run. Run from the most inevitable, irrevocable and momentous step she was about to take.
She didn't care to be married. Not to a man she wasn't in love with. She was stupid to have accepted his proposal. She had been stupid to say yes. But accept it she did and there was nothing for her to do about it. Except, maybe, to take a deep breath and step out the room.
She looked down and saw that she had been grasping the doorknob for such a long time that her knuckles had probably turned white from lack of blood due to the circulation being cut off. But she didn't care that she barely felt her glove-encased hands. She didn't care that she was probably late for her own wedding, which was set to start in just moments beyond that door, through the long hallway. She didn't care that she probably looked daft standing there glaring at an inanimate object as though it was the cause of all her troubles.
Because she should have been happy. She was getting married and she was probably looking better than she had ever had in her entire life. Yet she was miserable and nothing could shake the feeling. As she closed her eyes she knew that it was inevitable that she go out there and get married. She knew, in her heart, that though she loved someone else she could never be with him.
Harry had never once hinted that he might like her back. He had always just looked at her and urged her to make their best friend happy. Seeing that this was the only way to stay in his life, she had done as she was silently asked to do. So when Ron bent down on his knees, and asked her to marry him, she had said yes.
What bothered her though was that she was probably hurting her dear friend in the process albeit unintentionally. She had, after all, willfully led Ron to believe that she reciprocated his feelings. She had said 'yes' to a proposal of marriage. She had accepted that she would live the rest of her life as the companion of a man she loved like a brother.
Who could blame her, though? She was scared. Her parents had been killed by Death Eaters and she was alone in the world. No matter how strong and independent she was, she needed the feeling of coming home to a scene that comforted and reassured her. She knew deep down in her heart that being wedded to Ron would get her that.
So sue her for only wanting to be loved. Sue her for wanting to be needed. Though she knew that she was using Ron, she also knew that she was hurting herself. Whatever happened she hoped that by taking the easy way and taking no risks, she had done what was right for herself and for Ronald.
Knock, knock. Hermione's head snapped into attention as she realized that someone's was knocking on the door. The door, which had its knob seemingly stuck to her hand. Startled, she made an effort to twist it and admit entrance to the person on the other side. Upon the opening of the door Hermione was greeted by the sight of shocking red hair.
Her eyes grew wide and she thought with a start, 'I'm going to be living with hair that color from now on.'
"What are you smiling for, Hermione?" demanded Ginny.
"Nothing important. I just remembered something amusing," answered Hermione dismissively.
"Oh. Well are you ready or not?" Ginny asked impatiently.
Hermione sighed and said, "I suppose I'm as ready as I'll ever be."
"Hmm… Right. Hermione, I…" said Ginny in a serious tone of voice.
"Ginny?" asked Hermione, confused.
"Nothing, nothing. Let's go," replied Ginny.
Hermione chose to ignore that weird part of their conversation and allowed herself to be led by Ginny out into the hall.
Ginny's POV
'I can't believe I almost asked her what I was about to ask her!' thought Ginny frantically. 'For goodness sake, I'm matron-of-honor at their wedding and I was about to ask her if she felt she was doing the right thing. I mean, of course she's doing the right thing— she's getting married to my brother, I'd be disloyal to call doing so a mistake.'
But from the moment Ginny had entered her room to find a pale, awestruck Hermione she had felt that she knew what was going on. And after the surprised stare, she had known for sure. For the longest time she had fought to ignore the signs, but now, on the day that everyone was supposed to be happy, she knew that Hermione should not have accepted her brother's wedding proposal.
Like a sister and a close friend was supposed to know, Ginny knew that Hermione was in love with Harry, not Ron. Therein lied the pain for Ginny also knew for a fact that Harry loved Hermione. He had told her in extreme confidence the day that Ron and Hermione had started dating.
At first, Ginny was angry at Harry for being in love with the girl her brother was in love with, but the look on his face had turned her around. It was sorrowful and accepting. She had seen that Harry had not the least bit intention to get Hermione for himself.
Feeling sorry for a friend stuck in the pains of unrequited, impossible love, she had offered her support and her promise of secrecy. Both had been welcomed with smiles and tears filled with joy and despair.
But today, just when she knew her black-haired friend was in the most pain, Ginny cried for her three friends. Her brother for being oblivious to everything, but most of all for Hermione and Harry for wanting something they could have had if only they had spoken and said what was in their hearts.
Unrequited love would have been easy to support and console, but what troubled her the most was that only she had the power to make two lives happy, yet cause pain in another. As she led Hermione to end of the wedding entourage, she grabbed her hand and felt how cold it was even through the fine silk.
Giving the hand a comforting squeeze, she whispered, "Don't worry, you'll be fine."
Hermione merely nodded and gave her a weak smile.
Looking up to the heavens Ginny prayed, 'Lord, I hope I do the proper thing.'
Hermione's POV
Hermione felt very cold as she and her matron-of-honor, Ginny walked towards the end of the entourage line. They stopped and assumed their proper places with Ginny in front of Hermione.
Ginny turned to Hermione and smiled at the nervous bride. Hermione returned the smile shakily and whispered, "I can't believe this is happening."
Ginny answered, also in a whisper, "I know. I felt the same way on my wedding day. Numb, shocked, and, speechless. Don't worry, it's very normal."
'Yes. But is it normal to want to rip my dress off and run from the insanity of actually allowing myself to be married to a man I do not love? Is it normal to wish that it weren't Ron waiting for me in front of the altar? Is it normal to hate myself for getting into a situation that makes me feel like I'm trapped? No, it's not normal. I shouldn't be here," thought Hermione, though her face was blank.
With a sigh she answered Ginny, who was looking worriedly at her, "I know it's normal. I just can't wait until the ceremony is over."
Unconvinced, Ginny stared deep into Hermione's eyes to look if her friend was lying. But Hermione's expression was blank and there was no emotion in her brown eyes. Sighing in defeat, Ginny nodded and said, "All right. If you say so. The wedding's about to start and so we should prepare ourselves."
Hermione nodded and Ginny looked at her disconcertingly before saying cryptically, "Especially you."
Hermione was rendered speechless for a moment and was about to answer when Mr. Weasley appeared beside her and grabbed her right hand reassuringly. With her parents gone, Mr. Weasley had agreed to give her away on her wedding. And even if he hadn't arrived when he did, she still wouldn't have been able to give an answer for Ginny had already turned around with her back to Hermione.
'I guess I'm going to have to go through with this. I suppose I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Considering I'm about to marry a man I love like a brother.'
Ron's POV
The wedding march began and all eyes turned to the back of the church as the entire wedding entourage walked down the aisle peacefully. Everyone was looking serene and beautiful on that most wondrous day.
Ron had his hands clasped nervously together in front of him. He was looking as redheads were walking down the aisle for Fred and Angelina's little girl was the flower girl and George and Katie's young son was the ring bearer. Then followed Luna Lovegood, Parvati Patil and Lavander Brown, who were the bridesmaids. Next, it was Ginny Thomas, his sister, who was matron-of honor.
Ron held his breath for he knew what was to come next. And thank goodness he did for the sight that he saw dazzled him. There, more beautiful and more angelic than ever before, was the woman he loved with all his heart— Hermione.
Her right arm linked through his father's, Hermione and Mr. Weasley reached the altar and both looked up at Ron.
Hermione turned to her soon-to-be father-in-law and smiled at him in thanks. Arthur Weasley took Hermione's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze as he smiled gently.
He turned to his son and took Ron's left hand into which he placed Hermione's right hand.
Arthur looked at Hermione and said, "It was an honor to lead you down the altar for you are like a daughter to me."
Hermione smiled and softly said, "Thank you. Thank you very much."
Mr. Weasley then turned to face his youngest son. He said, "A treasure is being given to you, Ronald. Take care of it."
Ron answered, "Yes, dad." All the while he was thinking, 'Of course, I will. Nothing will make me happier.'
Harry's POV
Hearing the exchange amongst Ron, Hermione and Mr. Weasley had been extremely hard on Harry for he very much wished he had been the one to receive Hermione up on the altar.
She had looked so beautiful when she had come into view after the entire entourage. Harry had held his breath for when he let go he felt his heart break and he wished with all his might that he did not love Hermione.
But he thought of something someone had said once, 'You love someone not because you want them to love you too, but rather, you found no reason not to."
And he knew, as he watched his best friend and only love walk towards the priest to begin the ceremony that nothing was going to change it.
He had fallen in love with Hermione and he was always going to be in love with Hermione and though the pain was greater each moment that passed he knew he would not have had it any other way.
Ginny's POV
The ceremony began and the priest was talking about the wonders of marriage and the beauty of the love of two people. It was so long that Ginny was not listening. Instead she was looking at her brother's best man.
She knew how much his heart was in pain and it was breaking her up inside to think that he was going to live with that pain forever.
Broker from her reverie, Ginny turned to the priest and heard him say, "If anyone here has any reasons as to why these two should not be joined in Holy Matrimony, let him speak now or forever hold his peace."
Immediately, she turned to Harry and told him with her eyes that this was his chance to get what he wanted; his chance to get what he desired. She begged him with her eyes to do what he must do for himself and for Hermione.
Harry's POV
"If anyone here has any reasons as to why these two should not be joined in Holy Matrimony, let him speak now or forever hold his peace," said the priest and Harry's heart constricted for he was resisting the urge to speak up and shout for all the world to hear that they should stop the wedding for he loved Hermione.
But he didn't. Not when he cared deeply for his best mate, Ron.
He felt eyes on him and turned to see Ginny with her eyes speaking volumes, telling him to make a choice.
He gave her a small, sad smile as if to say that it was too late.
Her whole face collapsed and she sighed in understanding as he thought, 'I choose to forever hold my peace.'
Hermione's POV
She was looking at the glistening gold band on her left hand. She could not believe that she married least of all that she was married to Ron.
She looked back and saw Harry talking to Ginny and sighed thinking, 'It's really hard to go on living while loving someone secretly. I love you Harry. That's what's most painful of all— I might live the rest of my life with Ron but my love for you is never going to go away.
Harry's POV
The wedding was over and everybody had rushed outside to go to the reception. Everybody but two people, who were left standing together in front of the empty, desolate church.
"Harry," Ginny whispered as she grasped his arm tightly.
"It was too late, Ginny. There was nothing to for me to do," replied Harry, not wanting to emphasize.
"But," Ginny pleaded.
"As I said, there was nothing for me to do," said Harry, the tears welling up in his eyes.
"Oh, Harry," gasped Ginny in sympathy.
There was silence until out of the blue Harry said as he was staring at the car where Ron and Hermione had just climbed in, "It hurts when the only person you want to hold onto forever is with someone else. All you can do is continue loving them, watch them from a distance then walk away and say…"
The car with the newlyweds roared to life and started to drive off when Harry, with tears flowing freely in his eyes, pointed to it and continued, "There goes my life."
A/N:
Hope you liked that. I had fun writing it…:D