I ain't never been one to fight.
I ain't never been one to sit still neither.
Though, I have been one to lie.
I have been one to be angry.
I have been one to hate.
Not a day went by in my high school days that I didn't do all three of those.
Not a day goes by.
I went to Richmond High School in 1999. I had a 2.4 grade average since my freshman year. However, the moment I walked through those doors I headed straight to the basketball sign up sheet.
Before I came to high school the sport I preferred was soccer. It was simple kicking and simple running.
But I had to join some sport that year.
Football was full, I was tired of soccer and wrestling was full of the heavy-set crowd.
Thus I had one choice:
Basketball.
Why did I have to do a sport?
To be completely blunt, totally honest, and the most truthful I have ever been in my life…
I did it for the boys.
Yeah, I like sports; the thrill of the win and the burn of the loss.
But I stuck it out for the boys.
Those muscle-building, constantly sweating, heavy breathing boys are the reason I did sports all through high school.
And the best part? No one knew.
Let me be very clear that I was no prissy little bitch that would carry purses and wear make up.
I just…did it for the boys.
For two years I got away with it. I got away with the constant glances and never ending fastening-of-the-heart I got when we retreated to the locker rooms.
Did I deny it?
Fuck yeah. I still do.
But I got away with it and that was all that mattered.
Then came my junior year.
I didn't fight.
I didn't sit still.
I was angry.
And I lied hourly.
And I hated.
Those things weren't to my teachers, though. Yes, I lied to my friends and I was angry with my parents.
But what did I hate?
Me.
I hated me.
In came my junior year.
And everything changed.