Summary: "Hey, Lucy...am I a monster?" Lucy had never been expecting this. Especially not from Natsu. (One-shot)
She found him outside on the peak of a small hill not far from the guild hall. A distant look in his eyes, he stared with almost morbid curiosity at the subtle waves of the calm ocean, sparkling underneath the light of the full moon.
Lucy watched Natsu with a small frown, pulling her cloak further over her shoulders. Ever since returning from their most recent job (disposing of Dark Magic users in a town not far from Hargeon), Natsu had been eerily quiet and distant. Not even Gray's insults boosted his spirits.
"Whatcha doin'?" Lucy asked, approaching him and sinking down to the cold ground beside him. "It's freezing out here, you know. You'll end up getting sick."
Natsu snorted, but didn't look at her. "I'm practically a dragon, Lucy," he told her flatly. "The cold doesn't really bother me."
"Yeah, I guess not," Lucy said, turning her head to follow his gaze, staring into the dark horizon. "So, what are you doing out here? The rest of the guild's having a party."
"They do that a lot," said Natsu, pulling his knees against his chest and wrapping his arms around them. Lucy frowned at him; he was acting so out of character it was worrying. On normal days, Natsu wouldn't only be attending Fairy Tail's for-no-good-reason-celebrations, but he would be the one to suggest them in the first place.
"So, what are you doing out here?" inquired Lucy a second time.
Natsu sighed. "Thinking."
"Oh. Sorry. I guess I haven't seen you do that enough to notice." Lucy tried to joke, but it ran flat, and in the end, she felt more guilty than anything. She, too, hugged her knees to her chest. If he didn't want to talk to her, there was no making him talk; she'd known him long enough to figure that much.
"...Hey, Lucy?" Natsu asked, voice quiet. "Can I ask you something?"
Lucy sat up a little straighter and looked at him again; he still didn't return her gaze. "Yeah, sure thing," she said. "What?"
Natsu swallowed and looked down, almost shyly. And then he said, very faintly, "Am...am I a monster?"
The question came so suddenly Lucy was taken back. Out of all the crazy things Natsu spewed on a regular basis, Lucy had never expected this. She'd expected stupid questions from Natsu, stupid questions with obvious answers that he probably only asked to annoy the people around him.
"What? Why would you even ask that?" Lucy blurted, surprised, and now all of her attention was directed towards him. "You know you're not-"
"They were afraid of me," Natsu interrupted, burying his face into his loose scarf. "The villagers. They...I...I scared them."
Lucy blinked once or twice.
And then, she remembered. Yeah. That's right. The Dark Magic users they battled enchanted objects, bringing them to life and using them to do their bidding - and fighting. While Gray and Lucy distracted these objects, Erza and Natsu went for the magic users themselves.
They went all out. All of them did. But in the end...even though they'd gotten rid of the villains and saved the small town...the villagers still ended up with a bad vibe towards Natsu specifically.
Maybe it was because of Natsu's destructive tendencies, or maybe it was the kind of magic he wielded. Erza's specialty was re-quipping magic, switching out her magic weapons and armor for something more suitable for different battles. Gray's ice-make magic was more beautiful than terrifying, and Lucy, of course, summoned Celestial Spirits, most of which had friendly, flamboyant personalities.
But Natsu's element was fire, and fire was terrifying, especially considering how much power he was able to put behind his attacks. The villagers had been afraid of Natsu, but…
"Look, Natsu, honestly, I think they were just shocked," Lucy said. "A little confused. I mean, the first time I watched you fight, I was a little shocked myself."
He wasn't convinced. She could tell by the doleful look on his face. "I don't think they were shocked," Natsu said mournfully. "I know I'm not super bright, but I'm not an idiot. I know fear when I see it. They were afraid. Of me."
"Natsu…" Lucy stopped. What could she possibly say that wouldn't make it worse? She took a long time to consider this, possibly longer than she should have, and then, she turned her head towards the horizon with a sigh.
"Deliora," Lucy said simply.
This time, it was Natsu who whipped around to stare at her, confusion ebbed deep in his stare. "What?"
"Deliora," Lucy repeated, turning to meet his eyes. "The demon responsible for destroying countless cities and killing hundreds - no, thousands of people. It didn't care that it was leaving children without parents, or that it was breaking families into tiny pieces, or that it was terrorizing helpless people."
She turned back to look at him, dead in the eyes.
"Deliora was a monster," Lucy said firmly. "And Zancrow. Remember him?"
"That guy?" Natsu said, reeling back with a grimace of disgust. "What the heck'd you bring that guy up for?"
"He tried to kill us all," Lucy continued, "for no good reason. He laughed at our pain and suffering, treated it like a game. Like it was fun. Zancrow was a monster."
Lucy didn't stop now; she was on a roll. "What about that guy who tried to unleash the lullaby spell on the guild masters. His goal was to kill, nothing more. He was a monster."
Natsu turned away, resting his chin on his knees.
"Now you, on the other hand..." Lucy brgan, giving him a hard poke on the shoulder. She laughed softly and shook her head. "You're insane, I'll give you that. But you protect us. All of us. You didn't fight those Dark Wizards because you wanted to. Sure, you might have enjoyed punching their faces in, but you didn't do it to cause them pain. You did it because they were hurting other people. A monster wouldn't have done that."
Natsu sighed. "But-"
"You love us, Natsu," Lucy told him firmly. "All of us. Everyone in Fairy Tail. You stand up for us, fight for us, care for us...all the monsters we've faced in the past, they didn't care about anyone but themselves. The mere fact that you're bummed over scaring those villagers proves my point. Monsters like watching people in pain, whereas you try and prevent it."
Natsu looked at her, almost timidly. "Really?"
"Really really," Lucy promised. "You're a one of a kind person, Natsu. Don't compare yourself to monsters like them."
A small smile crossed over his face. "Thanks, Luce," he said softly, turning his gaze back towards the horizon. Lucy followed his example, watching the stars glisten in the night sky.
The air was peaceful and serene. A small breeze blew, bringing the smell of smoke from chimneys and laughter of nearby guilds. Lucy listened, drinking everything in.
"Are you okay now, Natsu?" she finally asked.
"...Yeah," Natsu answered. "I'm okay."
She hesitated for a moment, and then leaned over, resting her head against his shoulder, and he let her. She shut her eyes, wishing this moment would last forever.
"Natsu...please, don't call yourself a monster again, okay?"
He smiled and leaned his head against hers, also shutting his eyes.
"I won't, Lucy. I promise."
They sat there together, watching the sky, and stayed that way for a long time.
Author's Notes:
Am I the only one who noticed nearly everyone Natsu went up against called him a monster at some point or another? I mean literally, nearly every single freakin' foe in the entire franchise has called Natsu a monster at some point or another. I was hoping for Natsu to eventually get bummed by that in the show, but I'm over 200 episodes into it and it hasn't happened yet, so I decided to go ahead and write a fic.
AND IF ANYONE GIVES ME ANY SPOILERS, I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN. MARK MY WORDS. (Okay so I won't actually do that but you get the idea XD)
Anyways, I really enjoyed writing this...and I ship NaLu like FedEx. They're just perfect for each other. I know a lot of people ship Natsu with other characters instead of Lucy, and that's fine with me. I shipped Natsu and Erza for a while and Natsu and Lisanna at some point (which I know are both popular ships in the fandom), so I can respect other people's ships.
WHICH MEANS THAT IF YOU DON'T SHIP NATSU AND LUCY THAT IS 100% FINE WITH ME. I'M NOT GOING TO TRY AND CONVERT YOU TO MY SHIP OR YELL AT YOU FOR NOT SHIPPING THE SAME THING AS ME. THE SHIP WARS IN THIS FANDOM ARE AWFUL ENOUGH AS IT IS.
Anyways, guys, I hope you liked this story, because I had such a fun time writing it even though it's, like, 90% angst. :/ I'll see you all next story! :)
Cheers!
-BeyondTheClouds777